NOT EDITED

Theodore wasn’t sure when he and Russell had successfully fallen asleep, but he awoke on his good hip, his back pressed to Russell’s front. The detective’s arm was draped over his side, the face of his watch peeking out from under the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Theodore threaded his fingers through Russell’s and closed his eyes.

One of the best things about sleeping in the same bed as Russell was how damn warm the detective was. But despite how much he loved it, he unfortunately needed to get up and get ready for work.

Forcing his eyes open again, he slid out from under Russell’s arm and sat up. Behind him, Russell cleared his throat as he pulled his hand back to himself. Theodore pushed himself to his feet, carefully made his side of the bed, and combed his fingers through Russell’s hair. “Russell?”

“Mm?”

“I hate to do this to you, but you need to get up if you wanna take a shower and have time for breakfast before you leave.”

“Mmhmm.” Eyes still closed, Russell patted Theodore’s arm. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Theodore cleared his throat. “I, uh, I need to pee, and then the bathroom’s all yours.”

“Okay,” Russell said, his voice rough. Thankfully, Theodore was certain the roughness was from sleep rather than sadness. He reached back and squeezed Russell’s arm before pushing himself to his feet.

After he was done in the bathroom–including a quick wash of his face–he came back out to find Russell still on his stomach on the bed. “Russ?”

“Mm?”

“Bathroom’s all yours.”

“Mmhmm.”

Tentatively, Theo sat down on the bed. He twisted around just enough to lay a hand on Russell’s shoulder. “What happens if you go in late?”

“I’m on-call till I get there. Detective. Don’t even have to go into the station if I don’t wanna.” Russell cleared his throat. “But I’ve got shit to do.”

“I know you do. Do… do you want help getting up?”

“I can manage.” Russell drew in a long breath. “I… don’t know if I can manage. Guess that’d be more honest, I guess.”

“Will you let me help you up?” Theodore asked.

“Maybe. How’s your hip?”

“I carry my daughter to bed when she falls asleep on the couch. I’ll only be helping you sit up, maybe stand. My hip’s totally fine for that.”

“I think I’d like the help, then,” Russell said, his voice quiet.

Theodore pushed himself to his feet. “Scoot your butt over to this side.” Russell drew in a breath before rolling onto his side and scooting closer to Theodore. He grabbed Russell’s hands and, with little resistance from the detective, pulled him up so he was sitting. Theodore released one of his hands, reaching up to push Russell’s hair from his forehead instead. “You look like hell, Russ.”

Russell offered a smile. “Feel like it, too.”

“Maybe… maybe you should sleep in for a bit, see if that helps.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. The sooner I figure out who killed Vince… the sooner things can go back to normal. Close to it as possible, anyway.” Russell sighed. “I just need to solve the case. If I stay here to sleep in, I’m losing hours I could be–and should be–spending on the case.”

“Okay,” Theodore said softly. He wasn’t in any place to argue with him on that. Not only was the idea of arguing absolutely terrifying, but they weren’t exactly close enough that Theodore knew better than Russell how Russell handled things best. Grabbing both of Russell’s hands again, he tugged the detective to his feet. “Are you coming over tonight? Or is that… also hours you should be spending on the case?”

“I gotta have at least some sort of routine if I don’t wanna completely lose myself. I’ll be over tonight, I just don’t know what time. If… I’m not here by seven, call me?” Russell asked.

“If there’s been no sign of you by seven o’clock sharp, I’ll call you.”

Russell smiled. “Thank you.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Theodore’s forehead. “I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll leave the door unlocked, just in case you need anything else from in there. All right?”

“Okay. S-same goes for you. If you need anything… Let me know.”

“I will. Thank you.” Russell gave his hands a tight squeeze before releasing them and heading for the bathroom. He closed the door most of the way, leaving it unlatched.

Theodore let out a breath and grabbed his cane. He walked over to his computer desk, which still lacked a computer, and fed his goldfish. He missed having a computer set up there, but he missed having a large fish tank filled with little aquatic friends even more. Shane had taken both from him, killing hundreds of dollars worth of fish with a single swing of a baseball bat.

He heard the shower turn on, pulling him to thoughts of Russell rather than Shane. Theodore let out a heavy sigh, stepping away from the desk. He needed to worry about breakfast before he continued worrying about Russell.

He made his way to the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot before heading back to Vera’s room. “Baby girl? Are you awake?”

“Yeah.”

“How’re you feeling this morning?”

“Better.”

“Dizzy? Warm?” Theodore asked.

Vera shook her head. “I feel better.” She sat up, dropping her hands to her lap. “Does Russell feel better?”

“Russell’s fine, sweetheart.”

“Really? He was in the kitchen today. On the phone, I think? He sounded sad.”

Theodore crossed the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. “Russell’s a detective. You remember that?”

“Yeah. He fights bad guys with his shield.”

Theodore smiled. “Right. He fights bad guys for work. The bad guy that he’s fighting right now… hurt someone that he loves. It’s a little hard for him right now because when he goes to work… he’s only reminded about the person he loves being hurt, and he has to try and push through that feeling so he can fight the bad guy. So he’s a little sad, but he’s… he’s strong. He’ll be okay.”

“Is he just sad?” Vera asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Is he… is he mad?”

“No, not at you or me.” Theodore reached back and laid a hand on Vera’s knee. “If I ever believe that Russell is a danger to either of us, I will not let him back into this house. You will never have to live through anything like Shane ever again.”

“Promise?” Vera asked.

“I promise. You and I will not ever accept life under the thumb of another person like that again.”

Vera smiled. “Okay, Daddy.” She dropped a hand to cover his. “Can I help you make breakfast?”

One corner of Theodore’s mouth lifted. “Absolutely. Get changed outta your PJs, okay? I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

“Okay.”

Theodore patted her knee before pushing himself to his feet. Out in the kitchen, he shifted his weight over to his cane to balance himself as he leaned up and grabbed the pancake mix from the cupboard. He’d have to ask Gina to take him to the grocery store after work so he could restock on pancake mix and syrup. Maybe he’d even pick up a container of fresh strawberries, just to add a bit of variety to their usual morning diet.

There had never been much variety allowed in any sense when Shane had been around. He had liked to keep things consistent. He wanted things done exactly the way he liked them, and that generally revolved around order and pattern.

Yeah, variety was definitely worth adding.

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Not for the first time that morning, Russell found himself awake. They had gone to bed a couple hours after Vera had finished watching her ghost show and been tucked in. In the last five hours, Russell had managed a whopping half hour of sleep. He rolled onto his back, scrubbing both hands over his face.

He dropped his hands to his chest, eyes focusing on the dark ceiling. The day before, he had gone through the details of Lauren’s homicide file. Though there had been a large part of him that had hoped there wouldn’t be nearly as many similarities between her death and Vince’s, he had needed to know.

And tragically, he had discovered even more similarities than he had prepared himself for. Both of them had been shot six times in the back while off-duty. Yes, Vince was technically ‘off-duty’ because he was retired, but Vince had always been a cop at heart, retired or not. Lauren and Vince had both been shot while walking home at night. Russell had yet to figure out if Vince had gone anywhere other than his usual nighttime walking route–that was on his to-do list–but Lauren had been walking home after buying groceries.

Three bags of groceries had been found in the alley with her body, along with her purse. She hadn’t been robbed, just like Vince. Both of them had still had their wallets on them, and as far as anyone had ever been able to tell, nothing had been taken from either wallet. Credit cards, debit cards, driver’s licenses, cash, photos. Nothing had been missing from their wallets, and nothing had been missing from Lauren’s purse.

Both of their badges had been missing. Vince always had his on him, tucked away in his wallet. Russell was certain of that. Lauren had been off-duty for a total of two hours before she had been shot. Her badge would have been pinned to her belt or tucked away in her blazer’s pocket, but it hadn’t been there. It hadn’t even been in her purse or in her car at home. Someone had stolen it.

Russell’s brow furrowed. If the cops had checked her car, they had reason to believe she had been in it, even though she had walked to the store. He rolled onto his side and grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand. After unlocking the device, he added another point to his to-do list.

Talk to Lauren’s partner about the night of the shooting, especially why she hadn’t taken the car, especially why the cops had checked it for her badge in the first place.

“Russell?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re doing a lot of moving about,” Theodore mumbled.

“Sorry about that.” Russell set his phone down and rolled to his back again. “Did I wake you?” he asked, turning his head toward Theodore.

The man, his back to Russell, lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been in and out for the last hour or so, I think.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah. Not because of you, though.”

Russell nodded. “Wanna talk about it?”

Theodore chuckled softly. “If I talk about it, you will think it’s because of you. I’ve just been thinking a lot about all of this.”

“As in you and me?”

“Not us dating. Us sleeping in the same bed.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not uncomfortable.” Theodore rolled over onto his bad hip, shoving an arm under his pillow as he met Russell’s eyes. “I hate that I still feel… weird about it. I slept in the same bed as Shane the… second time we saw each other. Christ, I slept with Shane the second time we saw each other. But this… I can’t even bring myself to kiss you.”

“Your mind doesn’t want to recreate the circumstances that led to you eventually marrying Shane. Because of the things he said and did to you, your mind is still convinced it’s your fault. Which means that things like you sleeping with him, you kissing him, you sleeping in the same bed with him… Well, it means your brain reads those as mistakes you made, as though there wouldn’t have been any abuse if those things hadn’t happened when they did. So your brain wants you to avoid doing them again. That’s… why you feel weird.” Russell cleared his throat. “I think. I mean, I’m assuming.”

“Maybe.” With a grunt, Theodore rolled onto his stomach, crossing his arms over Russell’s chest. Russell couldn’t help but smile as he moved a hand to the shorter man’s back. “Your turn?”

“My turn for what?”

“I don’t think you’ve slept at all tonight. I’m sure it’s because of the case. So… do you wanna talk about it?” Theodore asked.

Russell shoved an arm beneath his head, clearing his throat. “I’m technically not supposed to discuss case details with civilians.”

“You don’t have to. You can… talk about how it makes you feel, if you want.” Theodore rested his chin on his forearm. “You were very open with me at the station yesterday.”

“It seemed to make you uncomfortable.”

“I didn’t know how to handle it. It’s not something I’m used to, to say the least.” Theodore smiled softly. “I like that you were comfortable enough to share that with me. I’ve just never had a man openly tell me exactly what was on his mind. I didn’t know how to respond. Amongst my normal fear register, I was scared I’d say something wrong.”

“You did great. Offered to sit with me and everything.” Russell offered a smile, his thumb caressing the curve of Theodore’s lower back. “I really appreciated that. Hell, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it meant to me that you showed up there tonight. That meant the world to me, Theo.”

“I’m glad it meant something to you. I mean, really. I-it didn’t matter what the hell I did for Shane. Nothing was good enough.”

“You showing up there was more than good enough. I really needed to see a face that wasn’t a cop today.”

A tiny smile tugged at one corner of Theodore’s mouth. “Glad I could help.”

Russell lifted his hand just long enough to push his fingers through Theodore’s hair. “If I tell you something about the case, you can’t go telling it to any reporters or anything like that.”

“I’ll do my best not to.”

Russell chuckled. “Works for me.” He did his best to keep at least some of the humor on his face, but it faded quickly. “You know how I told you the reason I don’t get a lot of cases is because I don’t have a partner right now?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have a partner because… the gal I was working with, Lauren, was shot and killed last year while she was off-duty. She was walking home, and someone shot her in an alley about four blocks from home.”

“Oh, my God,” Theodore whispered. “I’m so sorry, Russell.”

“Yeah. Thank you.” Russell cleared his throat. “She and Vince were both shot six times in the back. Overkill. They were both missing their badges, too. I mean… Vince’s was a retired detective badge, but he carried it with him everywhere. I think… the same person shot them both.”

“Wh-what would that mean?” Theodore asked.

“That this person is targeting cops, and Vince was the end of his cooldown period.”

“So… he’ll kill more cops?”

“After his cooldown period? Probably.”

“Jesus,” Theodore whispered. He uncrossed his arms, laying a hand on Russell’s cheek. “You have to be careful, Russell. I just got you in my life. I…”

Russell laid a hand over his, thumb caressing Theodore’s knuckles. “I’ll be watching my back until I catch this guy, I promise. I’ll be careful.”

“Good,” Theodore whispered. “Don’t move?”

“Not moving.”

Theodore leaned up and kissed Russell’s jaw. “How are you going to prove they’re related?”

“I still need some forensic information on Vince so I can compare the details there to the details from Lauren’s scene. Bullets, gun, height… Stuff like that. From there… I’ll question her partner, see what they remember from the day she was shot. The cops, umm… They checked her car for her detective badge, but she walked that day. I need to know why she walked, and I need to know why they checked her car. It was at home, so…” Russell shook his head. “I just gotta find out all the details I can. That’s the main goal.”

“Will that… be easy for you?”

“Nothing will be easy for me. I mean, it’s Vince. And now it might be Lauren, too.” Russell cleared his throat. “But talking to our forensic analyst won’t take a lot of time. That’ll be… easiest. Talking to Lauren’s partner will be rough, I imagine. As far as I know, they’ve become a bit of a shut-in since Lauren’s death. More so than before, anyway. But I just… I gotta know everything that I can about both scenes, about both of their deaths. The more I have, the better a detective I am.”

“You’ll do great,” Theodore whispered. “You’re a hard worker already, and I know this is gonna make you work even harder. You’ll do great.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered back. He brushed a thumb over Theodore’s cheek, eyes flickering to his lips for only a moment. If Theodore was anyone else he had tried to date, Russell would kiss him for the pep talk, for listening, for sharing. But Theodore wasn’t anyone else. Theodore was… Theodore, and kissing him without express permission was far from what Russell wanted to do.

Instead, caressing his cheek would serve as thanks, and Theodore’s weight on his chest would serve as comfort and understanding.

That was more than Russell ever could’ve asked for.

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Theodore, in the ballsiest decision he had ever made, had Gina drop him off at the police station after work. With a little help from a very kind detective, he found his way upstairs and to Russell’s desk. Tentatively, he cleared his throat.

Russell lifted his head, tired expression quickly shifting to worry. “A-are you–?”

“I’m okay,” Theodore said, his voice soft. “I came to make sure you were, too.”

Russell pushed himself to his feet and tugged Theodore into a hug. He tensed at the lack of warning, but he wrapped his arms around the detective without complaint. “If I’m not at your house in an hour, text me and tell me to get my ass over there. Can you do that?”

“I-I think so.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered. He pulled away, eyes on the floor rather than Theodore’s face. “I’m not an alcoholic, but if I don’t go to your house immediately after I’m done here, I’m going to go to the bar. That’s fine on a good day.” His gaze shifted to the shorter man’s face. “Today is not a good day.”

Theodore pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, giving himself a moment to think. “When you have a bad day… you drink?”

“No. When I have a bad day, I want to drink. A lot. I do my best not to. Moderation is… much more difficult when you already feel like you’re drowning.”

Theodore searched the detective’s face, unsure how he was supposed to respond. There were so many things he wasn’t used to. A man openly telling him exactly what was on his mind was one of the many. “Umm…” He cleared his throat. “How about I stay here with you for that hour? And then we go?”

“You have a daughter. You have supper.”

“She’s with my mom. I mean, they’re at my house, but she’s with my mom. I can let her know I’ll be home a bit later than usual.”

“Are you sure?”

Slowly, Theodore nodded. “If you’re having a bad day, you shouldn’t be lonely. That eats away at you just as much as bad thoughts and feelings do.” Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sat down in one of the chairs in front of Russell’s desk. “So I’ll just sit here.”

The smallest smile came to Russell’s face. “Thank you.”

“No… no problem, Russell.”

***

After Russell got off work, Theodore rode with the detective back to his house. After climbing out of his car, Russell turned to Theodore. “I just need to grab a change of clothes. Wanna come in?”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. He figured there was no harm in seeing more than the already gorgeous exterior of Russell’s house. He pushed open the door and grabbed his cane. With Russell’s help, he climbed out of the passenger seat and closed the door.  “I’m excited to, uh… to learn a bit more about your… personal aesthetic.”

Russell chuckled. “I’m not sure I have one. Simple and okay to live in is about all I got.”

“Okay to live in is an acceptable answer.”

“Mm.” At the door, Russell pressed a kiss to the top of Theodore’s head before unlocking the door. He pushed it open and gestured for Theodore to go in first. Though he hesitated, Theodore stepped inside without stammering or complaining. Russell stepped in behind him, quietly closing the door. “Welcome to my blank walls. Original paint, original flooring.” He kicked off his shoes, gesturing to the kitchen. “Original appliances.”

Theodore smiled up at him. “You don’t cook, anyway, so that doesn’t matter much.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Not a bad point.” He cleared his throat. “You can keep your shoes on. Since we aren’t gonna be here forever, that just feels like a lot of unnecessary movement for you.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. This way.”

Theodore followed Russell through the house and back to his bedroom. The bed was made, the sheets entirely crease-free. “You really do sleep on the couch when you’re here, don’t you?”

“Most of the time. I was sleeping in bed when you heard that racoon, though,” Russell said. “But I’m usually exhausted when I get home, so I grab a snack, a change of clothes, and then sleep on the couch since I didn’t shower.”

Theodore shook his head. “I’m glad you eat actual meals when you’re at my house.”

“Me, too. Actual food is… very nice.” Russell tugged open one of his dresser drawers and pulled out a sweatshirt. While he gathered the rest of his outfit, Theodore let his eyes roam over the room. Russell hadn’t been lying. The walls were entirely bare. No pictures or paintings. No college degree up on the wall. No awards or articles of his achievements.

“Why don’t you hang anything up in here?”

“Before I got this place, it’d been a long time before I lived in an actual home. I got used to moving around and shit. Guess that’s still stuck in my head,” Russell said.

“Why’d you move around so much?”

“Initially, it was for when my father got a new job.” Russell closed the dresser drawer and tucked his clothes into a duffle bag. “After he was out of the picture, we… couldn’t afford the house, so we moved to an apartment. Landlord jacked up the rent not too long after, so we stayed in a motel for a bit. Things continued back and forth from there.”

“I’m sorry you had to live with that kind of back and forth.”

Russell offered a smile. “Thanks.” He zipped up his bag and lifted it over his shoulder. “Who knows. Maybe I’ll figure out how to truly accept this place as home someday. Guess we’ll see how things go.”

Theodore nodded. “How long have you lived here?”

“Oh… two, three years?”

“Jesus, Russell.”

“What can I say? Old habits die hard.” Gently, he squeezed Theodore’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get home so you can relieve your momma of her babysitting duties.”

***

Back home, while Russell retreated to the back of the house so he could shower and change out of his suit, Theodore headed into the kitchen, where his mom was finishing up supper.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hi, Mom.” Theodore cleared his throat as he leaned back against the counter, fiddling with his cane. “Thanks for staying the extra hour. Russell… I don’t know. I think he needed me today.”

“No trouble at all, sweetheart. I love taking care of Vera, even when she’s a little under the weather. Speaking of, chicken noodle soup is almost done. It just needs to be warmed up a little longer.”

“Awesome. Thank you.”

She nodded. “So… Russell. Bad day?”

“This case isn’t treating him so well.”

“Okay.” She cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. “This is not me criticizing Russell. As far as I’ve been able to tell so far, he seems like a very nice man. But cops have a very difficult job, and they all handle bad days differently. If, at any point, you feel uncomfortable or scared with him around, you call or text me, and your dad and I will be here before you even know it. Okay?”

Theodore nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course, baby.” Hands on his cheeks, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you. Stay safe.”

“I will. Love you, too.”

She smiled. “I’m just gonna go say goodbye to Vera, and then I’ll be on my way. but again, if you were to need anything, you give me a call.”

“Okay, mom. I will,” Theodore promised. She smoothed a hand over his hair before walking out of the kitchen.

By the time the soup was ready, his mom had left and Vera was in the living room, curled up on the couch. Theodore brought in two bowls of soup, handing one over to his daughter as he sat down beside her.

“Thanks, Daddy.”

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

Vera pulled her legs closer to herself, holding the bowl in her lap. “Is Russell still here?”

“Yeah. He’s showering, and then he’ll join us here for supper.”

“Awesome.” Vera picked up her spoon, looking over at her father. “So… can we eat on the couch more often?”

“Absolutely not,” Theodore said with a laugh. “Only when one of us doesn’t feel good. Otherwise we’ll continue to eat at the table.”

“Why?”

“If we eat on the couch all the time, our brains will think it’s time for food every time we sit down.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “The brain likes routines. That’s one of them.”

“Cool,” Vera whispered.

He and Vera were almost through an entire episode of her favorite YouTube ghost hunting show when Russell walked into the living room. Dressed in a university hoodie and a pair of sweats, his hair still wet from the shower, he looked a little less sad than he had at the station, but he was still missing a bit of that Russell charm.

“I left a bowl out on the counter for you. Chicken noodle soup,” Theodore said.

“Thank you.” On his way to the kitchen, Russell leaned over the back of the couch and pressed a kiss to the top of Theodore’s head. He came back with a bowl of soup and a can of pop. He sat down next to Theodore and, tentatively, Theodore leaned into his side. Russell cleared his throat, wrapping an arm around Theodore’s shoulders.

“Feel better after the shower?”

“A little bit,” Russell murmured. He nodded toward the television. “What’re we watching?”

“Ezra and Jude. They ghost hunt on YouTube. Curse words are bleeped out, so it’s more or less child-friendly.” He pointed his spoon at Vera. “It’s pretty much her favorite show in the world, and truth be told, I’d much rather be watching this than Dora.”

Russell chuckled. “I don’t blame you. My niece went through a phase where she absolutely loved Sid the Science Kid. I told her the TV was broken when she came to visit for, like, a whole month.”

A surprised laugh escaped Theodore. “You’re terrible,” he whispered.

“Hey, I said she was the light of my life, not that I’d always been honest with her.”

Theodore shook his head. He leaned forward, setting his empty bowl on the coffee table. Settling into Russell’s side again, he rested his hand on the man’s chest. Russell laid his head on Theodore’s, only lifting it for the occasional spoonful of soup or sip of pop.

Even Russell’s bad days were a million times kinder than Shane’s good days. Theodore still had no intention of letting his guard down, but it was nice to know a little bit more of Russell’s range of days and emotions. Somehow, that made him feel… safe.

---

A/N: I don’t think I’ve stated it in an actual note, but this will be a series! So once I get closer to finishing book one (ahem, 70,000 words and still going), you guys will get to vote for the crime part of book two, maybe the romance part too. We’ll see how it goes!

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

“I’d like access to his home. I’m hoping you have a key so I don’t have to break the door down or get myself a locksmith,” Russell said.

Dani, Vince’s daughter, sniffled. “I don’t. But he always left one out, tucked under his car. In the, umm, the tire well? Tucked up in there. He said those fake key rocks were begging for someone to break in, but I lose things, so…” She cleared her throat. “They should still be there.”

“Thank you, Dani,” Russell whispered.

She nodded. Before he could stand up, she grabbed his arm. “You’re gonna find the bastard who did this, aren’t you, Russ?”

He searched her eyes, that familiar sting burning in his own. “Yes. I’m not gonna let him go without justice.”

“Good.” A pause. “A-are you really going to be able to do this? Dad loved you like his own, Russ. I can’t… even begin to imagine what this will do to you.”

“I can’t hand this over to someone else. I can’t hand Vince over to someone else.” Russell laid a hand over hers and gave it a quick squeeze. “I’ll manage, Dani. I just gotta find the person who did this, and then I’ll be okay. Then we can heal. Okay?”

Thankfully, she nodded and let go of his arm. “Good luck, Russell.”

“Thank you.” Though he kept it to himself, he knew damn well he really needed that luck more than ever before.

***

Just as Dani had predicted, the keys were still tucked into the tire well of Vince’s car. Russell closed his eyes as he held the keys to his chest. “Thank you,” he whispered, head tilted back toward the sky. Though most of the time, he’d be thanking God, this one was for Vince’s ears only. If the man hadn’t loved his daughter so damn much, he never would’ve left them out for someone to find. That had nothing to do with God and everything to do with Vince’s heart of gold.

Russell walked up to the house and, for what would be one of the last times in his life, unlocked the door and stepped inside. He let out a shaky breath as he closed the door. He flipped on the light and, out of habit, kicked off his shoes.

Vince’s badge hadn’t been in his wallet. The only other place he ever kept it was in his bedroom. If it wasn’t there… Russell shook his head. He needed it to be there. He didn’t want to think about what it could mean if it wasn’t there.

On his way down the hall, Russell couldn’t help but be distracted by the photos on the wall. One of them, the one that had caught his eye, was the day Vince pinned Russell’s detective badge onto his chest. Russell smiled, sniffling as he stepped away from the photo. Christ, he couldn’t believe Vince was gone. The man had taught him so much about police work, so much about life. And now he was just… gone.

Russell cleared his throat, doing his best to keep his eyes off the other photos as he made his way back to Vince’s bedroom. He edged the door open with his foot and peered inside. The room was tidy, the bed made. That didn’t surprise Russell in the slightest. Vince had always been an organized man. His house, as far as Russell had ever seen, had only ever reflected that.

He flipped on the overhead light and stepped into the room. He checked every place the badge could’ve been: on the dresser, on either of the nightstand, in either of the nightstand drawers, on the top shelf in the closet, in the detective memorabilia box under the bed.

But it was nowhere to be found.

Russell’s gut twisted as he took a step back toward the door. He hoped to God he was remembering the details of their last off-duty cop shooting incorrectly. Hell, he prayed he was remembering them incorrectly.

If he wasn’t, Vince wasn’t the first cop this bastard had shot in cold blood.

***

Russell stopped in front of Emelia’s desk, clearing his throat.

She lifted her head, expression softening as soon as her eyes met his. “You look like hell, Russ.”

“Been a long day already,” he said quietly. “I need you to check out a file for me.”

“Why… can’t you?”

“Because I know they won’t let me.”

“Russell.”

“My dead partner.”

“Oh, Russell,” Emelia whispered.

“They never caught the bastard that shot her, Emey. You know this could be the same guy. I just need to see the details, the ones that I never heard about through casual conversation.”

“What makes you think it’s the same guy? I mean… aside from the fact that they’re both cops. We know wearing a badge makes us a target to a lot of people, Russ, not just one guy.”

“If I’m remembering things correctly, they were both shot off-duty–”

“Vince was retired, Russ.”

“Emey.”

She held up her hands. “Okay, I’m sorry. Continue?”

“They were both shot off-duty, they were both shot several times–overkill–from behind, and their badges were stolen off their person. Vince was shot on the sidewalk, and i-if I recall… correctly, Lauren was shot in an alley four blocks from her house. Vince was shot on his way back home. I’m certain of it. He always walked that road on his route when he wasn’t able to sleep.” He clapped his hands together, tipping his fingers in her direction. “Please, Emey. I just gotta know.”

“This isn’t good for you.”

“Not looking for good or bad. I’m looking for fucking justice.”

“Okay,” Emelia said softly. She pushed herself to her feet. “Sit down. You need to just… sit for a moment. You don’t look okay, seriously.”

Russell dropped into the chair in front of her desk. She patted his chest as she walked past him. Russell bowed his head, closing his eyes. It wasn’t even noon yet, and he already wanted to be done with the day. He wanted to pack up his shit and go home for the day. Or to the bar. The bar sounded good.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. That wasn’t exactly a great line of thinking. Undercover work in Narcotics had gotten him to a bad place in life, especially with alcohol. Drinking it in moderation nowadays was fine, but when he was already having a bad day, there was absolutely no chance at ‘moderation’.

Emelia sat down at her desk, a folder in her hand. Russell leaned forward to grab it, but she held it out of his reach. “Russell, I have seen you in a lot of bad places. Recovering from the terrible undercover job, after Lauren was killed, after your mom–”

“And I came back every single time,” Russell said. He held out a hand. “Give me the folder, Emey. Please.”

“I just need to know that you won’t go into a bad place this time. You’ve recovered from the others. I’m willing to admit that. But you shouldn’t have to go through another.”

“I won’t.” Russell wiggled his fingers, leaning forward even further. With a sigh, Emelia handed the folder over to him. “Thank you.”

“Sure, Russ. You… you keep your head on straight, okay?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah. Do my best.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Russell opened his eyes as Theodore shifted for the seventh time in the last two minutes. “You okay?” Russell asked, his voice raw.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” Theodore said.

“You sound like you’re in pain.”

“I’m always in pain.”

Russell sniffled, pulling away from Theodore.  “Roll onto your good side, Theo. Your hip needs your comfort, too.”

Theodore sighed. He laid a tentative hand on Russell’s cheek. “You’re in pain, too. Why does mine get to take priority?”

“Because your pain means you need to roll over so you don’t further injure your hip. Mine means I have to feel… empty for a while.”

“That’s… that’s not a good enough answer.”

“It’s the only one I got.”

Theodore shook his head. “Switch me sides.”

“What?”

“Lay on this side of the bed.”

“Umm… are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just… don’t get used to sleeping on that side.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “I won’t. You want me to stand up and switch sides?”

“You can… you can climb over. J-just… no touching.”

“No touching. Promise.” Russell pushed himself up and climbed over Theodore, turning his head to meet the shorter man’s gaze. “Now what?”

“Lay down on your side, facing that way,” Theodore said, pointing to the door.

Russell did as told, closing his eyes as Theodore scooted closer and wrapped an arm around him. “Aha, I see. Now you can lay on your good side.”

“Now I can comfort the hip and you.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered.

Theodore stayed silent for only a moment before stealing Russell’s phrase of choice, “No problem, Russ.”

***

Russell awoke to an empty bed. He wasn’t surprised, to say the least. Theodore was incredibly quiet when he got out of bed, despite the cane. Tragically, Russell had a feeling that quietness came as second nature because of Shane. Russell had been forced to develop that habit, too, though when he was much younger. Walking on eggshells, especially when the abuser was a light sleeper, had been a necessity.

He only hoped that, someday, Theodore would feel safe enough to not be so quiet.

Russell pushed himself up, closing his eyes as he stretched his neck to one side. Theodore’s bed was–oddly–more comfortable than he was used to, and his neck hadn’t quite adjusted to that yet. He figured he’d find it damn perfect eventually, assuming that Theodore kept inviting him to spend the night.

With a sigh, he climbed out of bed. After a quick restroom break, Russell washed his face and changed into his suit from the day before. In the kitchen, he murmured a soft, “Morning,” before pressing a kiss to the top of Theodore’s head.

“Morning,” Theodore said. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” Russell cleared his throat. “I’m gonna head into work a little early. I have a theory I’d like to work on, and the sooner I find out who shot Vince, the better.”

“Okay. Can you stay long enough for me to finish these pancakes? Then you can take a couple for breakfast.”

“I can do that.”

“Great,” Theodore whispered. “Coffee’s fresh. You can steal my travel mug again, if you want.”

“Borrow. I’ll happily borrow it.”

Theodore chuckled. “Sure, Russ. Borrow.”

“Thank you.” Russell gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Jesus. You weren’t kidding about this shoulder.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty tense.”

“If you’re okay with me massaging that, I’ll get it back to functional.”

“You… would do that for me?”

“Yeah. Free of charge,” Russell said.

Theodore smiled. “You’re… you’re adorable.”

“I try.”

“It’s working for you,” Theodore said. “If… you wanted to come over again tonight? Supper, maybe a movie with Vera before she goes to bed?”

“I think I can manage that.” Truthfully, Russell didn’t want to be alone tonight, just like he hadn’t wanted to be home alone the night before. He had practically thanked God when Theodore had called him that evening to ask if he wanted to come pick him and Vera up and spend the night.

Still, he hated that he didn’t want to be alone. Russell was used to burying himself in a case every single time he managed to get put on one, but this time, attempting to bury himself in the case made him crave comfort. It was a balance he wasn’t used to, well, balancing.

“Hey, umm…” Theodore cleared his throat. “Vera asked me about Halloween last night. If you’re still up for going with us, I’ve decided that… I’m up for that, too.”

Russell couldn’t help but smile. “I’d still love to come along.”

“Great,” Theodore whispered. “I-I don’t know if it interests you–Shane hated the idea of it and… and wouldn’t let it happen–but Vera and I, we’ll be dressing up. D-do you want to match?” he asked.

“Shane… is an asshole,” Russell said softly, leaning back against the counter.

“I know.”

“Anyway, I would love to match, but it totally depends on what a dork I’d be.”

“Vera wants to go as Toad.”

“Toad?”

“Yeah… Blue Toad, from Super Mario Bros.” Theodore shook his head, an adorable smile on his face. “I’m being forced to be Mario, because he’s short, but Vera was hoping you’d be Luigi.”

“Umm, I will one hundred percent go as Luigi. That lanky green bastard knows how to jump.”

Theodore laughed. “I know absolutely nothing about that game, so I’m going to have to take your word for it.”

“I could bring it over sometime. Or… maybe you and Vera could come over sometime. If we play the one on the Wii, I’ve got three remotes.”

“I will… take that into consideration. Thank you.” Theodore reached out and touched his cheek. “Don’t move?”

“Not movin’.”

Theodore leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for being you, Russell.”

“Ah, no problem. I enjoy being me, so… looks like we’re both happy.” Theodore only smiled at him. Russell pushed away from the counter. He grabbed Theodore’s travel mug from the cupboard, clearing his throat. “Needed curiosity. Do you have anything specific you want me to wear for Halloween, then? Like, do I need a mustache?”

“I like your face a lot without one.”

Russell chuckled. “Me, too. Are you wearing a fake one?”

“No. Vera gave me permission not to.”

“Then we’ll be the mustache-less plumbers. Totally works for me,” Russell said.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Russell filled up Theodore’s travel mug and snapped the lid into place. Clearing his throat, he leaned back against the counter. “Depending on how today goes, I might be late for supper. So… Don’t make you and Vera wait for me. If I’m not here, just go ahead and eat. Okay?”

“Are you sure?” Theodore asked.

“I’m sure. I don’t wanna starve you guys out.”

Theodore chuckled softly. “I don’t think we’d starve, but still, I appreciate the heads-up.” He laid a hand on Russell’s chest, and after a moment of hesitation, Russell lifted his own hand to cover it. “I can’t even imagine what being alone is like for you right now. So while this case is ongoing, I-I’m going to use it as an excuse to invite you over all the time so I don’t have to feel like I’m depending on you. Is that something you’re okay with?”

Russell searched his face before nodding. “Yes.” He cleared his throat as Theodore pulled his hand away. Russell crossed his arms over his chest. “For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t consider you dependent on me. So what, you sleep better when I’m in the house? That’s not being dependent. You take care of Vera on your own. You cook on your own. You clean on your own. I’m not buying your groceries or paying your bills. Heck, you aren’t even letting me drive you most places. You aren’t dependent on me, Theo. You just feel safe with a cop in the house.”

“I… guess that’s true,” Theodore said quietly. “It’s still… difficult for me.”

“I know. Reasonably so. You went through something incredibly traumatic, Theo. You have every right to feel… conflicted about who makes you feel safe. I’ll never hold that feeling of conflict against you.”

Theodore looked up at him. “I hope I’ll be able to believe that someday.”

Russell offered a smile. “You and me both, Theo.” He turned his head at the sound of footsteps. Vera, still in her pajamas, padded into the kitchen, a stuffed animal hugged to her chest. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hi, Russell.” Vera crossed the room, wrapping a hand around the bottom hem of Theodore’s shirt. “I don’t feel good, Daddy.”

Theodore pressed the back of his hand to her cheek, then her forehead. “You’re a little warm. You can stay home. I’ll… I’ll call Grandma and Grandpa, see if one of them can stay with you.”

“I wanna go to school. I just need you to fix the warm feeling.”

Theodore smiled. “I’m sorry, baby girl. It doesn’t work that way.” He smoothed a hand over her red curls. “How about you go back to bed, and I’ll call Grandma while I make a couple pancakes for Russell to take for work.”

“Really?” Vera asked.

“I think it’s for the best, baby. Especially if you wanna be well enough to go trick or treating on Halloween.”

“Okay.” Vera gave Theodore a hug and took a small step back. “Night, Russell.”

“Night, sweetheart.” Once she was out of sight, Russell cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“For?”

“I called her sweetheart.”

“I kinda figured that was your cop voice, so I figured those were your cop words, too.”

“Little bit.”

Theodore nodded. “Then it doesn’t bother me. Vera likes you, and… so do I. So, uh…” He cleared his throat. “So it’s fine.”

Russell smiled softly, leaning over to kiss Theodore’s temple. “I like you, too.”

“Surprisingly, I knew that one.”

Russell chuckled. “Good.” He rubbed a hand up Theodore’s arm. “I’m gonna go on a little walk around the house, if that’s okay with you. You can make pancakes without further interruption, and you can call your mom without me intruding.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you, Russell.”

The detective flashed a smile. “No problem, Theo. See you in a few.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---