NOT EDITED

“I’d like access to his home. I’m hoping you have a key so I don’t have to break the door down or get myself a locksmith,” Russell said.

Dani, Vince’s daughter, sniffled. “I don’t. But he always left one out, tucked under his car. In the, umm, the tire well? Tucked up in there. He said those fake key rocks were begging for someone to break in, but I lose things, so…” She cleared her throat. “They should still be there.”

“Thank you, Dani,” Russell whispered.

She nodded. Before he could stand up, she grabbed his arm. “You’re gonna find the bastard who did this, aren’t you, Russ?”

He searched her eyes, that familiar sting burning in his own. “Yes. I’m not gonna let him go without justice.”

“Good.” A pause. “A-are you really going to be able to do this? Dad loved you like his own, Russ. I can’t… even begin to imagine what this will do to you.”

“I can’t hand this over to someone else. I can’t hand Vince over to someone else.” Russell laid a hand over hers and gave it a quick squeeze. “I’ll manage, Dani. I just gotta find the person who did this, and then I’ll be okay. Then we can heal. Okay?”

Thankfully, she nodded and let go of his arm. “Good luck, Russell.”

“Thank you.” Though he kept it to himself, he knew damn well he really needed that luck more than ever before.

***

Just as Dani had predicted, the keys were still tucked into the tire well of Vince’s car. Russell closed his eyes as he held the keys to his chest. “Thank you,” he whispered, head tilted back toward the sky. Though most of the time, he’d be thanking God, this one was for Vince’s ears only. If the man hadn’t loved his daughter so damn much, he never would’ve left them out for someone to find. That had nothing to do with God and everything to do with Vince’s heart of gold.

Russell walked up to the house and, for what would be one of the last times in his life, unlocked the door and stepped inside. He let out a shaky breath as he closed the door. He flipped on the light and, out of habit, kicked off his shoes.

Vince’s badge hadn’t been in his wallet. The only other place he ever kept it was in his bedroom. If it wasn’t there… Russell shook his head. He needed it to be there. He didn’t want to think about what it could mean if it wasn’t there.

On his way down the hall, Russell couldn’t help but be distracted by the photos on the wall. One of them, the one that had caught his eye, was the day Vince pinned Russell’s detective badge onto his chest. Russell smiled, sniffling as he stepped away from the photo. Christ, he couldn’t believe Vince was gone. The man had taught him so much about police work, so much about life. And now he was just… gone.

Russell cleared his throat, doing his best to keep his eyes off the other photos as he made his way back to Vince’s bedroom. He edged the door open with his foot and peered inside. The room was tidy, the bed made. That didn’t surprise Russell in the slightest. Vince had always been an organized man. His house, as far as Russell had ever seen, had only ever reflected that.

He flipped on the overhead light and stepped into the room. He checked every place the badge could’ve been: on the dresser, on either of the nightstand, in either of the nightstand drawers, on the top shelf in the closet, in the detective memorabilia box under the bed.

But it was nowhere to be found.

Russell’s gut twisted as he took a step back toward the door. He hoped to God he was remembering the details of their last off-duty cop shooting incorrectly. Hell, he prayed he was remembering them incorrectly.

If he wasn’t, Vince wasn’t the first cop this bastard had shot in cold blood.

***

Russell stopped in front of Emelia’s desk, clearing his throat.

She lifted her head, expression softening as soon as her eyes met his. “You look like hell, Russ.”

“Been a long day already,” he said quietly. “I need you to check out a file for me.”

“Why… can’t you?”

“Because I know they won’t let me.”

“Russell.”

“My dead partner.”

“Oh, Russell,” Emelia whispered.

“They never caught the bastard that shot her, Emey. You know this could be the same guy. I just need to see the details, the ones that I never heard about through casual conversation.”

“What makes you think it’s the same guy? I mean… aside from the fact that they’re both cops. We know wearing a badge makes us a target to a lot of people, Russ, not just one guy.”

“If I’m remembering things correctly, they were both shot off-duty–”

“Vince was retired, Russ.”

“Emey.”

She held up her hands. “Okay, I’m sorry. Continue?”

“They were both shot off-duty, they were both shot several times–overkill–from behind, and their badges were stolen off their person. Vince was shot on the sidewalk, and i-if I recall… correctly, Lauren was shot in an alley four blocks from her house. Vince was shot on his way back home. I’m certain of it. He always walked that road on his route when he wasn’t able to sleep.” He clapped his hands together, tipping his fingers in her direction. “Please, Emey. I just gotta know.”

“This isn’t good for you.”

“Not looking for good or bad. I’m looking for fucking justice.”

“Okay,” Emelia said softly. She pushed herself to her feet. “Sit down. You need to just… sit for a moment. You don’t look okay, seriously.”

Russell dropped into the chair in front of her desk. She patted his chest as she walked past him. Russell bowed his head, closing his eyes. It wasn’t even noon yet, and he already wanted to be done with the day. He wanted to pack up his shit and go home for the day. Or to the bar. The bar sounded good.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. That wasn’t exactly a great line of thinking. Undercover work in Narcotics had gotten him to a bad place in life, especially with alcohol. Drinking it in moderation nowadays was fine, but when he was already having a bad day, there was absolutely no chance at ‘moderation’.

Emelia sat down at her desk, a folder in her hand. Russell leaned forward to grab it, but she held it out of his reach. “Russell, I have seen you in a lot of bad places. Recovering from the terrible undercover job, after Lauren was killed, after your mom–”

“And I came back every single time,” Russell said. He held out a hand. “Give me the folder, Emey. Please.”

“I just need to know that you won’t go into a bad place this time. You’ve recovered from the others. I’m willing to admit that. But you shouldn’t have to go through another.”

“I won’t.” Russell wiggled his fingers, leaning forward even further. With a sigh, Emelia handed the folder over to him. “Thank you.”

“Sure, Russ. You… you keep your head on straight, okay?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah. Do my best.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Russell opened his eyes as Theodore shifted for the seventh time in the last two minutes. “You okay?” Russell asked, his voice raw.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” Theodore said.

“You sound like you’re in pain.”

“I’m always in pain.”

Russell sniffled, pulling away from Theodore.  “Roll onto your good side, Theo. Your hip needs your comfort, too.”

Theodore sighed. He laid a tentative hand on Russell’s cheek. “You’re in pain, too. Why does mine get to take priority?”

“Because your pain means you need to roll over so you don’t further injure your hip. Mine means I have to feel… empty for a while.”

“That’s… that’s not a good enough answer.”

“It’s the only one I got.”

Theodore shook his head. “Switch me sides.”

“What?”

“Lay on this side of the bed.”

“Umm… are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just… don’t get used to sleeping on that side.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “I won’t. You want me to stand up and switch sides?”

“You can… you can climb over. J-just… no touching.”

“No touching. Promise.” Russell pushed himself up and climbed over Theodore, turning his head to meet the shorter man’s gaze. “Now what?”

“Lay down on your side, facing that way,” Theodore said, pointing to the door.

Russell did as told, closing his eyes as Theodore scooted closer and wrapped an arm around him. “Aha, I see. Now you can lay on your good side.”

“Now I can comfort the hip and you.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered.

Theodore stayed silent for only a moment before stealing Russell’s phrase of choice, “No problem, Russ.”

***

Russell awoke to an empty bed. He wasn’t surprised, to say the least. Theodore was incredibly quiet when he got out of bed, despite the cane. Tragically, Russell had a feeling that quietness came as second nature because of Shane. Russell had been forced to develop that habit, too, though when he was much younger. Walking on eggshells, especially when the abuser was a light sleeper, had been a necessity.

He only hoped that, someday, Theodore would feel safe enough to not be so quiet.

Russell pushed himself up, closing his eyes as he stretched his neck to one side. Theodore’s bed was–oddly–more comfortable than he was used to, and his neck hadn’t quite adjusted to that yet. He figured he’d find it damn perfect eventually, assuming that Theodore kept inviting him to spend the night.

With a sigh, he climbed out of bed. After a quick restroom break, Russell washed his face and changed into his suit from the day before. In the kitchen, he murmured a soft, “Morning,” before pressing a kiss to the top of Theodore’s head.

“Morning,” Theodore said. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” Russell cleared his throat. “I’m gonna head into work a little early. I have a theory I’d like to work on, and the sooner I find out who shot Vince, the better.”

“Okay. Can you stay long enough for me to finish these pancakes? Then you can take a couple for breakfast.”

“I can do that.”

“Great,” Theodore whispered. “Coffee’s fresh. You can steal my travel mug again, if you want.”

“Borrow. I’ll happily borrow it.”

Theodore chuckled. “Sure, Russ. Borrow.”

“Thank you.” Russell gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Jesus. You weren’t kidding about this shoulder.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty tense.”

“If you’re okay with me massaging that, I’ll get it back to functional.”

“You… would do that for me?”

“Yeah. Free of charge,” Russell said.

Theodore smiled. “You’re… you’re adorable.”

“I try.”

“It’s working for you,” Theodore said. “If… you wanted to come over again tonight? Supper, maybe a movie with Vera before she goes to bed?”

“I think I can manage that.” Truthfully, Russell didn’t want to be alone tonight, just like he hadn’t wanted to be home alone the night before. He had practically thanked God when Theodore had called him that evening to ask if he wanted to come pick him and Vera up and spend the night.

Still, he hated that he didn’t want to be alone. Russell was used to burying himself in a case every single time he managed to get put on one, but this time, attempting to bury himself in the case made him crave comfort. It was a balance he wasn’t used to, well, balancing.

“Hey, umm…” Theodore cleared his throat. “Vera asked me about Halloween last night. If you’re still up for going with us, I’ve decided that… I’m up for that, too.”

Russell couldn’t help but smile. “I’d still love to come along.”

“Great,” Theodore whispered. “I-I don’t know if it interests you–Shane hated the idea of it and… and wouldn’t let it happen–but Vera and I, we’ll be dressing up. D-do you want to match?” he asked.

“Shane… is an asshole,” Russell said softly, leaning back against the counter.

“I know.”

“Anyway, I would love to match, but it totally depends on what a dork I’d be.”

“Vera wants to go as Toad.”

“Toad?”

“Yeah… Blue Toad, from Super Mario Bros.” Theodore shook his head, an adorable smile on his face. “I’m being forced to be Mario, because he’s short, but Vera was hoping you’d be Luigi.”

“Umm, I will one hundred percent go as Luigi. That lanky green bastard knows how to jump.”

Theodore laughed. “I know absolutely nothing about that game, so I’m going to have to take your word for it.”

“I could bring it over sometime. Or… maybe you and Vera could come over sometime. If we play the one on the Wii, I’ve got three remotes.”

“I will… take that into consideration. Thank you.” Theodore reached out and touched his cheek. “Don’t move?”

“Not movin’.”

Theodore leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for being you, Russell.”

“Ah, no problem. I enjoy being me, so… looks like we’re both happy.” Theodore only smiled at him. Russell pushed away from the counter. He grabbed Theodore’s travel mug from the cupboard, clearing his throat. “Needed curiosity. Do you have anything specific you want me to wear for Halloween, then? Like, do I need a mustache?”

“I like your face a lot without one.”

Russell chuckled. “Me, too. Are you wearing a fake one?”

“No. Vera gave me permission not to.”

“Then we’ll be the mustache-less plumbers. Totally works for me,” Russell said.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Russell filled up Theodore’s travel mug and snapped the lid into place. Clearing his throat, he leaned back against the counter. “Depending on how today goes, I might be late for supper. So… Don’t make you and Vera wait for me. If I’m not here, just go ahead and eat. Okay?”

“Are you sure?” Theodore asked.

“I’m sure. I don’t wanna starve you guys out.”

Theodore chuckled softly. “I don’t think we’d starve, but still, I appreciate the heads-up.” He laid a hand on Russell’s chest, and after a moment of hesitation, Russell lifted his own hand to cover it. “I can’t even imagine what being alone is like for you right now. So while this case is ongoing, I-I’m going to use it as an excuse to invite you over all the time so I don’t have to feel like I’m depending on you. Is that something you’re okay with?”

Russell searched his face before nodding. “Yes.” He cleared his throat as Theodore pulled his hand away. Russell crossed his arms over his chest. “For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t consider you dependent on me. So what, you sleep better when I’m in the house? That’s not being dependent. You take care of Vera on your own. You cook on your own. You clean on your own. I’m not buying your groceries or paying your bills. Heck, you aren’t even letting me drive you most places. You aren’t dependent on me, Theo. You just feel safe with a cop in the house.”

“I… guess that’s true,” Theodore said quietly. “It’s still… difficult for me.”

“I know. Reasonably so. You went through something incredibly traumatic, Theo. You have every right to feel… conflicted about who makes you feel safe. I’ll never hold that feeling of conflict against you.”

Theodore looked up at him. “I hope I’ll be able to believe that someday.”

Russell offered a smile. “You and me both, Theo.” He turned his head at the sound of footsteps. Vera, still in her pajamas, padded into the kitchen, a stuffed animal hugged to her chest. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hi, Russell.” Vera crossed the room, wrapping a hand around the bottom hem of Theodore’s shirt. “I don’t feel good, Daddy.”

Theodore pressed the back of his hand to her cheek, then her forehead. “You’re a little warm. You can stay home. I’ll… I’ll call Grandma and Grandpa, see if one of them can stay with you.”

“I wanna go to school. I just need you to fix the warm feeling.”

Theodore smiled. “I’m sorry, baby girl. It doesn’t work that way.” He smoothed a hand over her red curls. “How about you go back to bed, and I’ll call Grandma while I make a couple pancakes for Russell to take for work.”

“Really?” Vera asked.

“I think it’s for the best, baby. Especially if you wanna be well enough to go trick or treating on Halloween.”

“Okay.” Vera gave Theodore a hug and took a small step back. “Night, Russell.”

“Night, sweetheart.” Once she was out of sight, Russell cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“For?”

“I called her sweetheart.”

“I kinda figured that was your cop voice, so I figured those were your cop words, too.”

“Little bit.”

Theodore nodded. “Then it doesn’t bother me. Vera likes you, and… so do I. So, uh…” He cleared his throat. “So it’s fine.”

Russell smiled softly, leaning over to kiss Theodore’s temple. “I like you, too.”

“Surprisingly, I knew that one.”

Russell chuckled. “Good.” He rubbed a hand up Theodore’s arm. “I’m gonna go on a little walk around the house, if that’s okay with you. You can make pancakes without further interruption, and you can call your mom without me intruding.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you, Russell.”

The detective flashed a smile. “No problem, Theo. See you in a few.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

After work, Gina dropped Theodore off at his parents’ place. She had offered to wait for him so he could do nothing more than go in, get Vera, and come back out, but he had politely declined. It was about time he saw his parents for more than a few minutes, anyway.

He knocked on the front door and waited patiently for his father to answer it. A smile took over the older man’s face. “Theo, it’s good to see you.” His dad drummed his fingers against the door. “Coming in? Or do you just wanna grab Vera and head out?”

“I’d love to come in and stay a while, if that’s okay with you.”

“God, are you kidding? More than okay, kiddo. Get your ass in here.”

Theodore smiled faintly and walked into the house. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Of course.” His dad, Jenner Eckart, closed the door. “How’re you doin’, Theo?”

“Not too bad. I’m… managing. I’m healing. I’ve been back at work for a bit, so that’s helping my sanity, if nothing else.”

“That’s good,” Jenner said, his voice soft. “Your mom, uh, told me about that detective. You still seeing him? Or was it a one-time date sort of thing?”

“I’m still seeing him.”

Jenner nodded. “Is he… is he good to you?”

Theodore smiled. “Yeah, Dad, he’s good to me.”

“Good,” Jenner whispered. “Do you think you’d be willing to let me meet him?”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “Of course, Dad. I… could actually ask him to swing by after work. Since I didn’t drive here, I’m sure he’d be more than willing to take Vera and me home. It’d be a good way for you to meet him, too.”

“I’d like that.”

“Great. I’ll, uh, text him in a bit. For now… hang out until supper?” Theodore asked.

A little smile tugged at one corner of Jenner’s mouth. “I’d love that.” He nodded off to his right. “Come on. Your mom and Vera are in the living room.”

***

Around eight that evening, Russell pulled into Theodore’s parents’ driveway. Cane in hand, Theodore made his way to the detective’s car and knocked on the driver’s side window. Russell met his gaze just long enough for Theodore to see he looked even more tired than he had when he’d shown up at the house after his crime scene.

Russell rolled down the window. “Hey. You and Vera take your time. I’ll be here,” he said.

Theodore cleared his throat, crossing one arm over the empty space left by the rolled down window. “I was thinking you could come in and meet my dad. If… you aren’t too tired.” Tentatively, he reached into the car and laid a hand on Russell’s cheek. The detective closed his eyes, leaning into Theodore’s touch. “Are you okay, Russell?”

“Long day.” Russell drew in a deep breath, opening his eyes. “Do you want me to meet your dad?”

“Only if you’re in the mood to.”

“Are you testing me again? Seeing… what he thinks of me, too?” Russell asked. “I-I don’t mind if you are. But if you are, I wanna wait until a day I’m… a bit more well-rested.”

Theodore shook his head. “I’m trying to repair a broken relationship by letting him meet you as soon as he asked me to let him meet you. I-I didn’t… Dad didn’t meet Shane until I was already engaged to him, which I did out of spite because Dad would comment on what type of person Shane seemed to be based on what Mom told him. I don’t want that again.”

Russell squeezed his hand. “Okay,” he said softly. “Mind taking a step back?”

Theodore stepped away from the car, fingers tightening around his cane as Russell opened the door and climbed out of the car. He was still in his suit, detective badge pinned proudly at his belt. “For someone so tired… you still look very nice in that suit.”

Russell’s smile was soft and easy. “Thanks, Theo.” He pressed a kiss to the top of the shorter man’s head before closing the door. “You want an arm for extra support? You’re leaning a little heavy on the cane.”

“An arm would be great,” Theodore admitted. Russell held out a crooked arm. After switching his cane to his other hand, Theodore grabbed his arm. Holding onto Russell for support took some of the pressure and pain away from his shoulder. That alone was a nice benefit of getting to hold onto Russell in any manner.

Russell walked him up to the front door, matching his pace to Theodore’s much slower stride without complaint. Theodore opened the door and pulled away from Russell. Instead, he grabbed the man’s hand and gently tugged him inside. “Is your mom gonna ask me if I’m an asshole?”

Theodore shook his head. “She’s in the shower.” He met Russell’s eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I thought you said that didn’t bother you.”

Russell’s smile appeared much more tired in the light of the foyer than it had outside. “It didn’t. It doesn’t. I’m just a little off tonight, Theo. I’m not sure I could handle being called an asshole again today.”

“Again?”

“A, uh, cop-hater eats at the same diner I do. It’s like getting heckled the whole time you’re eating.”

“I’m sorry, Russell.”

Russell shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” He squeezed Theodore’s hand. “You wanna bring your dad in here? Or do you want me to come meet him?”

“Stay here. We can get you to a bed and to sleep sooner that way.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Sure thing, Theo.”

Theodore kicked off his shoes and headed into the living room. “Dad? He’s in the foyer if you wanna come meet him.”

Jenner squeezed Vera’s shoulder as he pushed himself off the couch. “What’s he like?” he asked once he was close to Theodore.

“Tonight? Tired, worn out. He’s working a case. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s already taking a toll on him,” Theodore said quietly. “So… cut him some slack tonight? He just sounds a lot… more bored than usual, but that’s because he’s tired, not because that’s who he is.”

Jenner smiled. “I won’t judge him on how his tone sounds, promise. Lead the way.”

Theodore nodded and led his dad back into the foyer. “Dad, this is Russell Steele. Russell, this is my dad, Jenner Eckart.”

Russell smiled, sticking out a hand. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Jenner grabbed his hand and gave it a firm shake. “Jenner’s fine.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’ve heard some pretty great things about you today, both from T and from Vera.”

“Glad to hear it. I’ve got many great things to say about your son and granddaughter, too. They’re both very, very good people.”

Jenner smiled. “They sure are.” He cleared his throat. “Well, Russell, I don’t wanna keep you too long, but it was really nice to meet you.”

“You, too, Jenner.” Russell met Theodore’s eyes. “Mind if I wait in the car while you get Vera around? Or do you need help? I’m okay either way.”

“I’d like independence on this one. Still gunning for that father of the year award.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “You’ve already got it, Theo.” He reached out and squeezed Theodore’s shoulder. “I’ll be in the car.”

“I like him,” Jenner said as soon as Russell closed the door.

Theodore chuckled softly. “Yeah… me, too.” Hesitantly, he stepped forward and wrapped his father in a hug. “Thanks for hanging out here today, Dad. It was nice to actually… sit down together for the first time in a while.”

“My pleasure, T. It was good catching up with you. You’re… you’re welcome to come over here anytime, T. You and Vera.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Theodore stepped away from him. “Mind helping me gather up her things?”

“Not at all. Come on.”

***

“Daddy?”

“Mm?”

“Did you ask Russell about Halloween?” Vera asked.

Theodore nodded. “I did. He wants to come with us. Daddy just… needed more time to decide if I was ready to have him there with us.”

“Because of Father?”

“Yeah, because of him.”

“I won’t be mad if he doesn’t come with. It’s up to you, Daddy.”

Theodore smiled. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He held out her pajama shirt. “Arms up.” Like she usually was, Vera was incredibly helpful as he pulled her shirt on over her head and helped her change into her pajama pants.

“Is Russell staying the night again?” Vera asked as Theodore tucked her in.

“Planning on it. Why?”

“If I have a bad dream, where do you want me to go?”

“You can always come into my room, sweetheart. Always. I’ll come in here with you or we’ll go into the living room.”

“But… your hip.”

Theodore shook his head. “I’ll worry about my hip, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Vera whispered. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. Night, Vera.”

“Night, Daddy.”

Theodore leaned down and pressed a kiss to the girl’s forehead before leaving the room. He closed the door most of the way, leaving the hall light on. Eventually, he’d have to go out and buy her a nightlight, as well as one for the hall, but for now, the hallway light would suffice. The hallway light was familiar, comfortable. He’d worry about changing that later.

In his room, he found Russell already on the bed, his back to the door, just as Theodore had asked of him the last time.

Theodore changed into his pajamas in the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He flipped off the bathroom light and sat down on the bed. “Are you awake?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“Yeah.”

“Do… do you wanna talk about the case you’re working?”

Russell remained silent for several seconds. “I don’t want to lay all my shit out on you, Theo. You’ve got enough goin’ on without me piling homicide onto you.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I don’t want you not to just because you think it’s what’s best for me,” Theodore said. “You… have already talked me through so much, Russell. I’d be an asshole if I didn’t at least try to do the same for you.”

Russell cleared his throat. “Brother in blue.”

Theodore turned to look at Russell’s motionless form on the bed. “You… You’re working a cop’s death?”

“Yeah. Someone gunned him down on the sidewalk. He retired a few years ago. He tried to get away after the first shot. But the monster chased him down and kept shooting. Six to the back.” A pause. “H-his name’s Vince. He was the closest thing I ever had to a dad.”

Theodore lay down on the bed, turning onto his bad hip so he could wrap an arm around Russell. “I’m sorry, Russ,” he whispered.

Russell wrapped a hand around his forearm rather than responding. After several minutes of silence, he added, “I just had coffee with him a week ago. Told him about you and Vera, about our date at the restaurant. He was so excited for me.” A pause. “God, I miss him so fucking much.”

“R-roll over.”

Russell did as told, meeting Theodore’s gaze with teary eyes. Theodore fought down every fearful nerve in his body and pulled Russell’s head to his chest. The detective broke, twisting the material of Theodore’s shirt in his fingers as his shoulders shook.

Theodore closed his eyes, combing his fingers through Russell’s hair. Russell would do the same if Theodore was the one in desperate need of a good talk or cry. The least Theodore could do was try to return that favor of kindness. Even if it made every muscle in his body tense. Even if it made his body so stiff that the pain jolting through his hip increased ten fold. Russell deserved the hug. Russell deserved to be held. Russell deserved to be… comforted. Theodore would do the best he could.

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Freshly showered and changed back into the suit he kept in the car, Russell walked into the kitchen. Theodore stood at the stove, making something Russell couldn’t see. He was pretty sure he could smell peppers, though.

“It’s me,” Russell said before laying a hand on Theodore’s upper back, between his shoulders. “Where’s Vera?”

“Changing.” Theodore rolled his shoulders back.

Russell dropped his hand. “Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. That wasn’t about you.”

“No?”

Theodore shook his head. “My shoulders hurt. I’ve been leaning a little too heavy on my cane recently.”

“Mm.” Russell moved his hand back to Theodore’s back, bowing his head to kiss his shoulder. Theodore closed his eyes, resting his head against Russell’s for a moment. Russell couldn’t help the little smile that came to his face. “What’re you making?”

“Scrambled peppers and eggs. Hashbrowns, too. Vera likes them, so…”

“I’ve liked everything you’ve made. I’m, like, a hundred percent sure I’ll like this, too,” Russell said.

“Thanks,” Theodore whispered.

“No problem.” Russell moved his thumb in a little side-to-side swipe between Theodore’s shoulders. Thankfully, Theodore didn’t seem to mind that, either.

“Umm…. I’m supposed to tell you about Gina.”

“Supposed to?” Russell asked. “And… what about her?”

“Supposed to, yeah. She told me to. And… I dunno. That I’m best friends with her. That I talk to her a lot about what’s going on in my personal life. That she’s kind of my sounding board for a lot of things. Like, she’s the reason I decided to keep our first supper not-date,” Theodore said. “I guess I’m just, like, supposed to let you know that.”

Russell took a moment to think of the kind of response he was supposed to have to that. His initial thought was that he saw nothing wrong with Theodore’s friendship, but if Theodore wasn’t telling him in case there was something wrong with it, it was pretty likely that Theodore would think he was lying.

Biting the bullet, Russell pressed a kiss to Theodore’s temple. “I’m glad you have a friend like that.”

“Really?”

“Of course. If you bounce ideas off of her and whatnot, it’s because you trust her. Everyone deserves to have someone they trust like that. I’m just glad you already do,” Russell said.

Theodore’s shoulders relaxed, but not enough that he’d entirely let his guard down. Russell didn’t expect his guard to ever be all the way down. It had been decades since another human being had abused Russell, and he still always had his guard up. He was simply a little better at hiding the tension behind a genuine-appearing smile than Theodore was.

“She works with me at the bookstore,” Theodore said.

“Hey, that’s great. Close friends are the best friends,” Russell said. “I work with the friends that made supper for us.”

“The supper you were supposed to make?”

Russell smiled. “Yeah, that one.”

“Are they detectives?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Homicide?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like them?”

Russell’s brow furrowed. The question had… implications he hadn’t been prepared for. “They’re married. To each other.”

“Marriage totally didn’t stop Shane,” Theodore whispered.

Russell laid a hand on Theodore’s cheek and turned his head toward him. “Theo, my dates usually don’t go well because I don’t wanna waste my time sleeping around. I’ve wanted to settle down with someone for as long as I can remember. I dreamed of being married when I was five. Planned it when I was seven. I have absolutely no interest or intention of screwing around with anyone. Not my co-workers, not anyone.”

Theodore searched his face for a moment before closing his eyes and bowing his head. “I wish I could believe you,” he whispered.

“I know, Theo. I know.” Russell slid his hand around to the back of Theodore’s head and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “One of my co-workers is a mostly sex-repulsed asexual. The only person she’s ever slept with or had interest in sleeping with is her husband, and her husband is one hundred percent straight. Hell, I’m the only guy who also likes dudes that works at that station. I’m not taking my sexual interests–or my emotional ones, for that matter–anywhere else.”

Theodore sniffled, turning away to stir the eggs on the stove. Russell stiffened when the man turned and wrapped him in a hug. Russell let out a breath, wrapping his arms around Theodore. “If I ever find out you’re lying, I’ll let Vera kick you in the nads.”

Russell laughed, burying his nose in Theodore’s hair. “Deal.”

After a moment, Theodore pulled away and turned back to the stove. “You look much better now than you did this morning when you got here.”

“I was tired. A couple hours of sleep and a warm shower helped a lot.”

“It was only because you were tired?”

Russell cleared his throat. He wasn’t sure he was comfortable lying to Theodore. It felt like taking the wrong path in their relationship, even if that lie was only about work, about the case he had been given. “No. The homicide messed me up a little bit, too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Theodore asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe not right now, but… maybe eventually?”

Theodore nodded. “I… will be here when you decide.”

“Thanks, Theo.” Russell cleared his throat again, moving his hand back up to Theodore’s back. He desperately wanted to wrap him in a hug from behind, rest his chin on Theodore’s shoulder, but that felt too intimate for what Theodore needed from a relationship right now. Russell wasn’t there to push boundaries or force him out of his limited comfort zone. So for now, he’d settle for the hand between Theodore’s shoulders. That was more than good enough for him.

Theodore turned off the fire beneath the eggs. “I’m… going to go tell Vera food’s ready,” he said, turning to face Russell. “Do you mind setting out plates and… and all that? I-it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I’m more than happy to,” Russell said.

Theodore smiled, soft and timid like it usually was. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Theodore cleared his throat, fingers tightening around his cane. “Don’t move your head?”

“Remaining stationary.”

Theodore chuckled and leaned up, pressing a kiss to Russell’s cheek. “Back in a few.”

Russell smiled. “Okay. I’ll get the dishes out in the meantime.” Theodore only smiled at him before walking out of the room. Russell was thankful for that little smile. Anything that made him smile was something Russell could chalk up as a success, an achievement. The more smiles that crossed Theodore’s face, the better. The man deserved all the damn smiles in the world, far as Russell was concerned.

***

“You’re late,” Emilia said as Russell dropped into his chair. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just… not a case I expected to be working, that’s all,” Russell said.

Emilia nodded. “I heard about that… Saw it on the news. But I didn’t know it was your case.”

“Officers didn’t know who he was when they called me in. So…” He lifted his shoulders. “Who knows. Maybe Loo will pull me off of it, anyway. He doesn’t want me working cases alone in the first place. This would give him a good reason to get me away from it. Conflict of interest or something.”

“Would you prefer that?” Emilia asked.

One corner of Russell’s mouth scrunched up. “I don’t know. I thought about that a lot this morning, and I can’t decide if me working the case guarantees that it’s done right, or if me working the case has a bigger risk of emotional conflict that’ll lead to me screwing up and guaranteeing we never find out who killed him. I don’t know which one’s more likely.”

“Well… for what it’s worth, I’ve met you, Russ. You have a great work ethic, and even the cases where you’ve… invested yourself a little too much, you always end up on the good side of things. I’ve never seen your emotions compromise a case.”

Russell let out a breath that felt at least somewhat relieved. “Thanks, Emey.”

“No problem.” She cleared her throat. “You… think you’re gonna need help?”

“I don’t know. I’ll keep you updated, if that works for you?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s totally fine. Whatever’s good with you is fine for me and Andrew,” Emilia assured.

“Thanks,” Russell whispered. He sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I need to go down to the lab, see if anything has… come to light.”

“Okay. Good luck, Russ.”

He nodded, pushing himself to his feet. He made his way down to the lab. His steps were heavy, his legs tired. The smallest part of him really did hope his lieutenant would hand the case over to anyone else in the department, but the much larger part of him couldn’t get past the worry and fear that anyone else would screw up in one way or another.

Vince Gunn had been his mentor, the detective that had taught him damn near everything there was to know about being a detective. The man had been like a father to Russell, or at the very least, he’d been what Russell assumed a father was supposed to be like. It was a little hard to imagine what a good dad was supposed to be like, but he had always assumed Vince was pretty damn close.

He couldn’t just pass Vince’s murder off to someone else. He owed this to Vince. Solving his murder fell on Russell’s shoulders. It had to.

Russell knocked on the open lab door. Ellie Daniels, one of their forensic techs, lifted her eyes to his face. “Hey, Ellie.”

“Hey, Russ.” Her expression softened. “I’m so sorry about Vince.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “Speaking of… do you happen to have anything on him? On the crime scene?”

“You’re still working this?”

“Until Loo decides I can’t do it… yes. I owe this to Vince,” Russell said.

After a moment, Ellie nodded. Russell appreciated that. He didn’t think he had it in him to put up much of a fight, anyway. “Okay. Well, I don’t have much right now. He was shot six times in the chest. More appropriately, he was shot in the back six times.”

Russell walked a little further into the lab, forcing himself to nod. “Do you think he was trying to get away from someone? Or did they just… come up behind him?”

“I wish I knew. All I know is that he was shot the first time several feet away from where he fell, based on where I found his blood. He did try to get away after the first shot, but that’s all I can say for certain.”

“So… no chance it was a robbery gone wrong?”

Ellie shook her head. “I wouldn’t say so. If it was, they forgot to do the robbing part.” She pulled a bag out of the evidence box on the table and held it out to Russell. Finally, he crossed the room all the way. He grabbed the bag, his chest tightening.

It was Vince’s wallet. It had been flipped open before being bagged, allowing Russell to see Vince’s license, credit card, and debit card inside, and when he tilted the bag toward himself, he could see there was still cash inside, too.

“Where’s his badge? Did you bag that separately?” Russell asked.

“His… badge?”

“Yeah, his retired detective badge?”

Ellie shook his head. “He didn’t have that on him.”

Russell’s brow furrowed as he looked back down at the wallet. Since Vince retired, he had always had that badge on him. Russell had seen it every time they’d had a couple drinks at the bar, anytime they’d gone out for coffee. While Russell’s badge was always displayed rather prominently on his belt, Vince’s retirement badge was always neatly tucked between the two halves of his wallet.

“Thanks, Ellie,” he said quietly, handing the bag back to the analyst. “Let me know if anything turns up?”

Ellie nodded. “I will.”

“And, uh… if you haven’t already, could you dust that wallet for fingerprints?”

“I will.”

“Thanks.” Russell cleared his throat, taking a step back. “I’ll see you later. When, uh… If something turns up.”

“Of course, Russell. You keep me posted, and I’ll keep you posted.”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Theodore grabbed his cane, using it to help himself off the couch. He headed over to the front door, unlocked the chain lock and the one in the knob itself, and pulled open the door. Russell, though he hadn’t knocked, stood outside, his head bowed.

“Are you okay?” Theodore asked.

“I’m good,” Russell said, his voice quiet. He lifted his head, clearing his throat. “Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

Theodore reached out and grabbed the detective’s hand, gently tugging him into the house. “Like I said, I want to try letting you sleep in my bed with me. I… I trust you, as much as that scares me. I don’t think you’ll try anything shifty, to say the least.”

After a moment, Russell nodded. “If you change your mind at any point, you let me know, and I’ll move to the couch.”

“Okay.” Theodore closed the door and twisted the lock back into place. Before he could get to it, Russell reached out and slid the chain lock across. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Theodore looked up at Russell, one corner of his mouth scrunched up. Whatever that crime scene had been, Russell definitely wasn’t ‘good’. It didn’t matter how many times he said it or insisted it was true–Theodore knew damn well it was a lie. “What…?”

Russell lifted his eyes to Theodore’s face, frozen halfway through kicking off his shoes. “What… what?”

“Nevermind. I-it’s nothing.”

“Mm.” Russell looked back down at his feet and kicked his shoes off the rest of the way. Lifting his hand to Theodore’s cheek, he pressed a kiss to the man’s forehead. “You don’t have to fear asking me questions, even the ones you think might irritate me. I’ve lived through what you feel, initiated by a different relation… obviously. But, uh, I won’t lash out at you.”

“I wish it was that easy for me,” Theodore said quietly.

“I know, Theo.”

Theodore cleared his throat and stuck out a hand. “Come on. You look tired as hell.”

Russell smiled. “Well… that’s definitely true.” He grabbed Theodore’s hand and allowed the man to lead him through the house.

“When did you change into sweatpants?” Theodore asked.

“My car. I tend to keep a pair in there, same with an extra pair of jeans. Never know when you’re only going to have one chance to go to the gym or half an hour to sleep in your car. Always gotta be prepared,” Russell said.

“Work sounds… very hard on you.”

“I knew what I signed up for, but it’s what I needed to do.”

“Why?”

Russell smiled at him, though it was a little less brilliant than usual. “Another time?”

“Of course.” Theodore pushed open the door to his bedroom and flipped on the light. He stared at the bed, letting out a harsh breath. The only man he’d ever slept in the same bed with was Shane. It didn’t matter that it was a different bed frame, new mattress, different sheets. It was in the same room, the same house, the same position.

“I can sleep on the couch,” Russell said. “I take no issue with that if it’s what you need.”

“No, I still… want to try letting you sleep in here with me. It’s a step I wanna take, and it’s not like it’s sex. It’s just… sleep.”

“Sleep can be stressful and vulnerable. You aren’t weak if you can’t do this tonight,” Russell said.

“I’ll let you know if it turns out I can’t.”

“Good enough for me.”

Theodore nodded and walked into the room, fingers tightening around his cane. Russell followed him, his free hand tucked into one of his pockets. “Do you wanna turn on the nightstand light for me?”

“Sure can.” Russell brushed a thumb over his knuckles before releasing his hand. He turned on the lap, looking back at Theodore. “What would you like me to do now?”

“Sit down?”

“Of course. Which side?”

“Umm…”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Sorry. Which side do you normally sleep on?”

“The right side. Uh, the one closest to you,” Theodore said. Russell nodded and walked around the foot of the bed. Without complaint, he sat down on the left side of the bed. Theodore let out a breath and turned off the overhead light. He crossed the room and sat down on the right side of the bed, eyes on the wall.

“I’m gonna pull my legs up onto the bed. Don’t be alarmed,” Russell said.

“Okay.” Behind him, Theodore heard the covers shift and Russell moved onto the bed. “I’m… I’m scared, Russell.”

“I can only imagine.”

“How did you get over the fear of getting close to people?” Theodore asked.

“Well, I acted out first. Stole a couple things from convenience stores. Paid people over twenty-one to buy me alcohol. Shot some plates in the backyard. Skipped school. The works. I had to go to therapy eventually. That helped work through the acting out stuff, and eventually, it helped me work through everything else. I don’t think I genuinely trusted anyone again until I was in college, and even then, I was still pretty apprehensive and closed off.”

“So I have a lot to look forward to, huh?”

“It’s a long process,” Russell said simply. “But it’s a process that’s very worth it.”

Theodore nodded. He leaned his cane against the nightstand and slowly pulled his legs onto the bed. Dropping his head to his pillow, he turned to look at Russell. “I want to get help. Eventually, I mean. For now, I’m making sure Vera gets help.”

“Hey, that’s great,” Russell whispered, rolling onto his side, meeting Theodore’s eyes. 

Theodore nodded. “I discussed it with my parents. They’re helping me with the house payments, and since I’m not driving right now, I’m not wasting money on gas. It’s nice to know that I can… get her the help she deserves.”

“Of course. It’s a good feeling, and you deserve to feel good about it,” Russell said. “Can I touch you?” After a moment, Theodore nodded. Russell laid a hand on his cheek, thumb caressing the arch of it. Theodore closed his eyes, reveling in the warmth of his touch. “How do you want to sleep?”

“I usually sleep on my side.”

“Okay. Which one?”

Theodore cleared his throat. “I usually just face the door.”

“Okay. Which way do you want me to sleep? My back to you, or facing you? Because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“For tonight… your back to me?” Theodore asked.

“I can do that.”

“Thank you,” Theodore whispered.

“No problem, Theo.” Russell pulled his hand from Theodore’s cheek, rubbing it over his upper arm instead. “I’m gonna turn over now.”

“Okay.”

Russell smiled that heart-warming smile of his. “Goodnight, Theo.”

“Night, Russell.”

***

Theodore awoke to one of the most surprising things he’d ever experienced. Russell was still asleep on his side, his back to Theodore, his hands completely to himself. Russell wasn’t like the lead in romance novels and movies. When he made a promise regarding barriers, he didn’t break it.

Theodore gingerly rolled onto his other side, dramatically clearing his throat.

Russell responded with a simple, “Mm?”

“You kept your promise. Stayed facing that way all night,” Theodore said.

After a moment, Russell rolled over to face him, rubbing at one eye with the heel of his palm. “ ‘Course I did. I said I would.”

“They never do in movies. Or books.”

Russell smiled. “I’m all real, Theo. And even in my sleep, I’m not planning on violating your trust like that.”

Theodore couldn’t help the smile that came to his own face. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Theodore tentatively reached out with one hand and pushed Russell’s sleep-tousled hair back from his forehead. “How about I make you some breakfast before you go to work?”

“Can I help?” Russell asked.

“I was thinking you might wanna take a shower. If not, you… you can help.”

“Shower’s not a bad idea,” Russell mumbled. “Do you need help getting up or anything?”

“No, I’m good. You go ahead and take a shower, and I’m gonna feed my fish and start breakfast.”

“Okay.” Russell pushed himself up on one elbow before leaning over to kiss Theodore’s forehead. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen, Theo.”

Theodore gave Russell’s bicep a quick squeeze. “See you there.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

After about an hour of watching Nurse Jackie, Russell helped Theodore to his feet. An arm threaded through Russell’s, Theodore allowed the detective to walk him around the house. It was nice being without his cane to walk around, even if it was only possible because Russell was supporting his weight anytime he put far too much pressure on the injured hip.

“When… do you need to head home?” Theodore asked.

“Whenever you need me to.”

“That doesn’t help, you know.”

“I’m sorry. Umm… I don’t know. I can leave, if that’s what you want me to do.”

Theodore shook his head. “Two things. One, you have nothing to be sorry for. That was like, umm… ‘You’re a big help’. That’s all. And two, no, I don’t want you to leave right this second. I just wanna know how much more Nurse Jackie you and I can watch tonight while we cuddle on the couch.”

“As much as you want. But you have to wake up around, what, six-thirty?” Russell asked.

“Give or take.”

“How many hours of sleep do you prefer getting?”

“Prefer?” Theodore asked. He chuckled, though even he knew just how much humor the sound obviously lacked. “I don’t know. That’s not a question I’ve been asked before. Most of the time, when… Shane was here, I averaged four hours. Since I’ve gotten back from the hospital, I’ve managed much of the same, save for…”

“For?”

“When… you’re here,” Theodore said quietly. “There’s a part of me that really hates letting you know that. But it’s true. You bring me… comfort, I guess. I don’t know if it’s because you’re not like him or because you’re a cop, but… but I feel a little safer when you’re here, and I guess it’s why I keep accidentally falling asleep when you’re here.”

Russell rubbed at his arm. “You need the sleep. Accidental or not, you need it,” he said. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad I can bring you some sense of safety or comfort. You deserve that.” He cleared his throat. “So… I ask again, how much sleep do you wanna get?”

“I could be rebellious and say five.”

“Five works. I’ll make sure you’re in bed by one-thirty, then. And I can either stay past that so you can sleep, or I can head home, and you can feel free to call if you need me. Okay?”

Theodore stayed silent for what felt like far too long. He didn’t want to lean on Russell. He didn’t want to count on Russell. But, dammit, it was so hard not to. “Okay,” he finally said.

Russell gave his forearm a light squeeze. “Good. Come on, then. Let’s get another good minute or two of walking before we go sit our lazy butts down on the couch again.”

Theodore chuckled. “Works for me.”

***

Russell was good at sticking to his word and following through with his promises. That was what Theodore had figured out when, just before one-thirty, Russell paused the episode of Nurse Jackie they were watching and helped Theodore back to his bedroom. Theodore sat down on the edge of the mattress, eyes focused on Russell’s gentle movements as he leaned the cane up against the nightstand.

Everything Russell did seemed to be that way–gentle, calm, easy. Theodore had only really seen him be in a hurry on the occasions where he thought Theodore could be in danger. Russell cared for him, about him.

“Russell?”

“Mm?”

“Do…? Would you like to sleep in here?” Theodore asked.

Russell’s gaze shifted to his face. “Are you sure that’s something you’re ready for?”

“We’ve cuddled on the couch for hours, slept on the couch for hours. A-and Shane’s never been in this bed. It’s new. S-so… so no bad memories.”

Russell nodded. “I want you to think about this question and your answer before you respond. Are you asking me to spend the night in here with you because you want me in here, or are you asking because you think you have to in order to… keep me around?”

“I’m not offering sex.”

“I know. That’s not what I’m asking about.”

Theodore let out a breath. “I don’t know. If you want me to… to tell you the truth, I don’t know why I’m asking. I feel like it’s because I want you in here. I like how safe you make me feel and how… how warm you are and how warm you make me, but… but I don’t know.”

“How about you give it another date or two, hmm? I just wanna make sure it’s something you’re actually comfortable with first. I’m not here to push you into anything. I want this all to be at your pace. Not mine, not society’s. Yours,” Russell said.

“Thank you,” Theodore whispered.

“No problem.” Russell leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be on the couch if you need anything. Or if you just need to know I’m there. Goodnight, Theo.”

“Night, Russell.”

***

Theodore woke up early, like he usually did. He couldn’t remember the last time he had managed to sleep in on a weekend. Vera usually didn’t wake up until at least eight or nine, but he still woke up around six-thirty like it was a weekday.

Theodore pushed himself off the bed and headed for the door, hesitating as his hand touched the door knob. Russell was probably still in the living room. It was a Sunday, so he probably didn’t work unless he was called to a scene. Would Russell care if Theodore walked out in his sweatpants and t-shirt instead of jeans and a button-up of some kind?

Probably not. Russell had already seen him in his pajamas at least once, and he had never thrown a fit like Shane would have. That probably boded well.

He walked out of the bedroom, phone tucked into the pocket of his sweats. He headed for the living room first, just to see if Russell was still there.

A smile crossed Theodore’s face. Russell was sound asleep on the couch, a leg and an arm hanging over the side. Carefully, Theodore grabbed his ankle and helped the leg back onto the couch. He waited a moment to see if Russell would react or wake up. When he didn’t, Theodore moved his hand back to the pillow shoved beneath his head.

Theodore ran his fingers through Russell’s hair, earning a little smile from the detective. Theodore couldn’t help the smile that came to his own face. Russell’s resting face was incredibly calm and peaceful. The corners of his mouth were turned up just enough to give him the idea of a smile. Theodore had assumed that was a conscious decision when he was awake, but it must’ve just been the way his lips naturally rested.

He was a gorgeous man, not to mention an incredibly kind and generous man. Russell was practically perfect, and Theodore was still working to convince himself that perfection wasn’t being used to hide something else, something more sinister, something more… Shane-like.

“You’re starin’ at me,” Russell mumbled.

“Absolutely am not.”

Russell smiled, his eyes still closed. “What time is it?”

“Early. Umm, little after six-thirty.”

“Mm.” Russell lifted a hand and rubbed at his eye. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine. I just can’t sleep in very well.”

Russell chuckled. “Clearly.” He opened his eyes and sat up on the couch. “Hungry?”

“Are you gonna make me pancakes if I am?”

“Depends if you want pancakes or not.”

Theodore snorted, shaking his head. He lowered himself to the couch, holding his cane between his thighs. “Do you work today?”

“Nah. Not unless I get called in for a homicide, but that’s unlikely. I’ve only worked one case in the time I’ve been partnerless.”

“Why?”

“Superiors prefer when you’re out in the field in pairs. In case something happens,” Russell said.

“In case… something happens.”

Russell nodded, bowing his head as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “You know, shot, stabbed, attacked. Stuff like that.”

“Jesus,” Theodore whispered. “I never even thought of that. You could… be killed on the job.”

Again, Russell nodded. “Yeah. I mean, we know it’s a possibility. You go out and do your job, help a few people, hope that no one… has it out for you because you wear a badge. You just hope you, you know, make it home at the end of the day.”

“That’s terrifying, Russell. God, how do you even…? How do you even get up and go to work, knowing that’s a possibility?”

Russell shrugged. “Harder some days than others. It’s a lot harder after… you read a news story about a fellow brother or sister in blue getting hurt or killed. But you make d. You do your job, and you go in. Helping people get the justice they deserve is what I started doing this for. So even on the days where it’s difficult, that reason keeps me going.”

“I can’t even… imagine.”

“Good.” Russell laughed, shaking his head. “Good. I don’t want you to have to imagine what it’s like to know today has a possibility of being it. I never want you to have to experience that. I want things for you to be like they are at the bookstore. You’re happy there. You love all the books and the people. I don’t want you to ever have to experience anything scarier than that in regards to work.”

Theodore pressed a kiss to Russell’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “I don’t wanna think about you getting hurt.”

“Me, neither,” Russell said simply.

Theodore drew in a breath, resting his chin on Russell’s shoulder. “Let me teach you to make cinnamon rolls?”

“Umm, absolutely. Ready to stand up?” Russell asked. Theodore nodded. Russell rose to his feet and stuck out a hand. Theodore grabbed it, happily accepting the help to his feet. “Are we making cinnamon rolls from scratch?”

“Do you want to? Because I can get one of the premade ones from the fridge if you don’t–”

“I want to. Yeah. If that was your plan? One hundred percent.”

Theodore took a step away from Russell, grabbing his hands instead. “Russell… What…?”

“You can ask what you wanna ask. I won’t be mad, no matter what it is.”

“What are you hiding with the niceties?”

“Not a… Shane-like personality, that’s for sure.”

“Why do you…? Why are you so willing to go the extra mile for me? To make sure the thing we end up doing is exactly what I was initially thinking of, and not some slight variation of it?” Theodore asked.

Russell cleared his throat. “I… grew up with an abusive father. First ten years of my life. He was abusive toward my mom, primarily, and I know what it does to people, and I have a… faint idea of how to treat people that have been through it without making them feel like you’re patronizing them.”

“Christ,” Theodore whispered. “I-I’m so sorry, Russell.”

“Hey, it’s not like it’s your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I… I made you tell me.”

Russell’s mouth scrunched up at one corner as he shook his head. “You didn’t make me do anything, Theo. If I didn’t wanna tell you, I would’ve told you I didn’t want to talk about it today. I’m not… I don’t know how to phrase it. Umm, I’m okay telling people about that part of my life. I just don’t normally tell it as a date story.”

Theodore offered a little laugh. “Yeah, I probably wouldn’t tell it as a date story, either.” He let go of Russell’s hands, grabbing his cane instead. “I-if I… lean up and kiss your cheek, you’re not gonna move your head, right?”

“I’m not gonna move my head,” Russell promised.

Theodore leaned up and pressed a kiss to Russell’s cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“My pleasure, Theo.” Russell held out a crooked arm. “Shall we go make some cinnamon rolls?”

Unable to fight the smile spreading across his face, Theodore slipped his arm through Russell’s. “We shall.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

Updates every Wednesday!

---