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Announcement: Thank You and Progress Update

Hey, guys. I just wanted to take a moment today to thank you all and to give a quick update on writing and my books in general.

First and foremost, I know updates have been lacking greatly, and I thank you all for my patience. When I was posting on Wattpad, I would get messages every single day asking when the next update was. This was despite updating at least once every day. So when I say I appreciate you for your patience, I mean it. It’s about the only thing in my life right now that doesn’t stress me the hell out, and that goes a long way.

Secondly, I’ve had a strange relationship with writing for quite a while. That’s partly because of Wattpad. It’s partly because of my Letters from a Madman rewrite, which greatly changed my relationship with the crime genre. And it’s partly to do with my work being associated with my last name.

Though I can’t change my past with Wattpad, much as I wish I could, I can work on the other issues. I’ve been in the process of changing my name on my published works for about a month now? Give or take. It’s a long process, lol. And I’m currently working on trying to reignite my love of the crime genre.

I’m writing a new story called “Promise Not”, and I’m about 5,000 words into it right now. You can read a bit more about it here on my Instagram. I don’t start posting it just yeat because there’s still a chance I won’t be able to finish it.

Now, let’s talk a bit about the stories I’ve been posting on my website here.

If you read “The Happy Face Killer”, you probably saw the note about me wanting to–needing to–restart the story again. I currently have absolutely no passion for the story, and I can’t even remember the last time I worked on it. It’s a rewrite as is, and that should make it the easiest book on my list, but it’s actually the most difficult. Once I read through the Bo Austen series, I’m going to decide some things about the series. In the meantime, I’ll keep you as updated as I can on all of it.

I’m also struggling with my romances. I’m 100% stuck on “Hashtags and Homicide”, ad I have been for a very long time. I’m not sure how to fix that one right now, but I imagine it has something to do with my issues around the crime genre at the moment.

I’m also struggling with “Truths and Chains”. Though I have some days where I make good progress, most of it is being forced. The story was supposed to focus on Elias researching for his story, and that hasn’t been there. Things are moving way too fast for Vito, and that’s entirely out of character for him. Time needs to be expanded there, and that’s something I’m going to work on fixing ASAP so we can get back to the story. I know you guys love Elias and Vito, and I love the hell out of them too. I just need to do some rewriting and tweaking before I can move forward with the story.

In the meantime, I have a short story I can post for you all. I was going to wait until we hit 2K reads in a month, but until I start posting more, that’s going to be impossible. So, instead, shortly after this post goes live, the short story “Fighter 13” will be posted. This is a story about Luca from the Jamal Pitman series, and it focuses on how he joined the mob. It’s something I’m pretty proud of, despite how long it took to write, and I’m hoping you guys will enjoy getting some back story on Luca.

For now, this is about all I have for an update, but I’ll do my best to keep you guys as in the loop as possibly can. I suffer pretty heavily from brain fog and memory issues, so you might have to remind me to give you a progress update on my books every now and then. Until the next one, I hope you guys enjoy “Fighter 13”, and I’ll see you soon. Thank you for your patience and understanding. 💜

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When Toxicity and Mental Health Affect a Story

Hey, guys!

Sorry for getting this post out to you much later in the day than planned. The power company cut our power so they could cut down tree branches almost immediately after I posted today’s chapter of The Spectator, and we were without it for almost two hours, and then it was tragically time for bed. But anyway, let’s get into it, shall we?

As all of you know, I’m sure, posting on Wattpad was initially something I enjoyed. I enjoyed sharing my stories there, even when I had no readers, even when I only had one (Gabby). I’ve always loved interacting with respectful readers, and I still do enjoy that part of it. But as you know, Wattpad eventually grew to be incredibly toxic for me.

In between the constant changing environment on Wattpad (Oh, we’ll do ads to pay our writers! No, we’ll do nothing. Oh, what if we make readers pay for coins that they can use to pay for chapters and we give the writers with that feature a small cut? Yeah, most of them are in their teen years and don’t have jobs, but it’ll be great!), the toxicity of many commenters, and the sexual harassment story I don’t often talk about, it was no longer enjoyable.

For my own sake, I won’t say much more than the sexual harassment was directed at me from a man who is now an ambassador at Wattpad. Funny how that works, huh?

Anyway.

“Finally, an update!” It’s been six hours since I last updated. Finally isn’t an appropriate word, but you can bet it was always the first or second comment on most chapters I posted. When people comment things like ‘finally’, you come into the mindset that the only thing that matters is finishing a story so readers don’t have to ever wait for updates. And eventually, that’s the mindset I hit. Hitting word count milestones was worthless to me. Finishing a chapter was worthless. Finishing a book was the only real joy I ever felt in the last two or so years on Wattpad, and even that joy only lasted for the five minutes before I started the next one.

Not being able to feel any happiness from finishing a book starring a character you’ve loved sucks, and it takes its toll, both on you and on the story.

That’s where we come to today.

I’ve written ten books in the Bo Austen-Taylor series, and although I love the characters, there are many aspects of some of the books I flat-out don’t enjoy. I rushed through many of them so I could hit those five minutes of joy, and it shows. Some of the resolutions are rushed. Some of the killers have half-baked backstories that, while included in the story, make little to no sense, there are far more plot holes than usual, and far worse of a crime: I took away all of Bo’s character development from the Bo Austen series because I couldn’t write a character healing while I was worsening.

And that hurts.

Bo worked so hard to hit this place where he didn’t need to be normal all the time because Jensen wouldn’t love him if he was normal, because Jensen loved him because he was Bo, because he was Eli. And I took it away because… how the hell are you supposed to write a character on his way to better mental health when you can’t even take care of your own? When you don’t even put your own mental health at the forefront of your concerns?

For Bo, I feel that I need to rewrite the Bo Austen-Taylor series. For myself, I feel that I need to rewrite the B-A-T series. I haven’t written a single word in book 11–or a single word in book 5 of Young Bo–in almost two months. They’re both hard to look at, and they both remind me that I failed Bo every single time I open them. I need to fix it.

This is where my question to you guys comes in. I have ten books written. I can either A. continue posting the current B-A-T drafts while I rewrite the series or B. remove all of the B-A-T books and begin posting them the same way I would have on Wattpad, as they are written.

This brings me to issue two: Killer in Training.

I love Freddie, Paris, and Preston, but adhering to the backstory laid out in the B-A-T series has caused an issue in that book two of the series has no actual plot until about 5K words before the end. Even if it’s enjoyable to read, the first 25,000 words have no plot, and that’s not fair to those characters or the reader (even if you’re enjoying it, which is okay!).

If I rewrote book one, the main thing that would change is the ending. Hell, it’s probably the only part I would rewrite before diving into a new book two. I won’t spoil it here in case you haven’t read the current ending, but for those of you that have read it, I’m sure you can imagine what a change in the ending means, what a slight change in his backstory means. Hint: it involves Paris.

So this one isn’t so much a question as it is a statement. I’ll be rewriting the ending, at the very least, on Fedkenheuer, and then I’ll begin book two again, this time with a brand new premise, and I hope you guys will be excited for that.

In regards to both of these rewrites, July 1st will be day number one. Which means that if I post B-A-T as it’s written, the prologue of Happy Face will, more than likely, go up on the first or the second.

But anyway, that’s all my thoughts, and I’d love to hear yours, as well. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.

Truths and Chains – Chapter Six

NOT EDITED

Vito pulled his phone from his pocket as he dropped into his usual spot on Jamal’s private plane. Most people in Vito’s life were in agreement that public air transport was probably the last place he should be most days, and he was always thankful for that. Jamal’s plane was much more cushy anyway.

He raised an eyebrow as Jamal’s name appeared at the top of his screen. He swiped his thumb across the bottom of his screen, denying the call. Not because he didn’t want to talk, but because it had been six months since he’d gotten to fuck with Jamal, and God, had he missed it.

JP: Answer the phone

Vito: You wanna talk to a millennial? Learn to text, Boomer

JP: You’re insufferable

Vito: 😘

JP: 🙄

Vito: 😱 Baby Boomer’s first emoji!!!

JP: I hate you

Vito: You love me

Vito: You missed me bothering you 24/7

Vito: Admit it

JP: If I admit it, you have to accept my call

Vito: Pfft, no deal

JP: I’ll beat your ass the next time I see you

Vito: Like to see you try, short stuff

Jamal, a whopping two inches shorter than Vito, could very much successfully beat his ass. But Vito would never willingly admit that, especially to the man himself.

JP: I spoke to Elias, and he’s willing to meet with you. I gave him your number so you can coordinate a time and place. He also knows your real name. You should probably prepare me ahead of time if you have me call someone you’ve given a fake name to

Vito: Tattletale

Vito: Six months was a long time ago. You expect me to remember what name I gave someone?

Vito: And bro, my PHONE NUMBER dude? You gave him my actual PHONE NUMBER?

JP: It wouldn’t be a problem if you’d give people your real name

JP: We’ve talked about the ‘dude bro’ thing, have we not? Besides, I thought your ‘rule’ for phone numbers was not giving them to the women you sleep with? You’re not sleeping with him, so what’s the problem?

Vito admittedly didn’t know how to respond to that one.

Vito: Pfft, whatever dude. Out here handing my fucking number out like it’s everyone’s business

Vito tapped his thumb against the side of his phone. Jamal must’ve been closer to Mickey’s kid than he’d thought if he’d been able to talk him into meeting up with a Minetti twin so easily. Maybe he’d ask Elias about that. If Elias got to learn all about Vito’s relationship with his dad, it seemed only fair that he should get to learn about Elias’s relationship with one of his.

Vito: Thanks for talking to him for me

JP: It was ONE person’s business, shithead. And you’re welcome. Try to behave yourself. He has permission to call Tito if you don’t

Vito: Rude

As soon as a text from an unknown number popped up at the top of his screen, he clicked the notification, opening a new message thread.

Unknown: Hey, Vitelli, this is Elias, Mickey’s kid. Jamal gave me your number to coordinate coffee

Vito: Don’t worry, Jamal tattled on himself. I know you know my real name

Vito backed out of the thread long enough to add him to his contacts.

Mickey’s kid: Thank God

Mickey’s kid: You’re a good liar, Minetti

Vito: The best 😉

Mickey’s kid: 🙄

Mickey’s kid: I don’t know if Jamal told you, but I’m a veterinarian. I had a couple emergencies come in today, so I’m at the clinic and planning on being here for a while to keep an eye on everyone. If you’d like to have coffee here, I’m happy to give you the address. If you’d rather be out in public, I should be more available tomorrow

Vito: Vet clinic is okay, long as you feel comfortable with it

Mickey’s kid: I don’t mind

Vito: Sweet. We have a pit stop to make after we land, so it’ll probably be closer to four hours before I’m there. Whatcha gonna order? I’ll pick it up for you

Mickey’s kid: Dealer’s choice. I’m not too picky, as long as it has soy instead of dairy

Vito: Eww

Mickey’s kid: I know, haha. I’m not a big fan of the taste either. But I’d rather that than the migraine

Vito: You tried oat milk? My brother switched to that after I shit on his soy tastes too many times and likes it better

Vito was actually kind of impressed that he had remembered that. Maybe he wasn’t quite the piece of shit little brother he credited himself to be.

Mickey’s kid: You know, I actually haven’t. I’ll take you up on that offer though. Anything with oat milk

Vito: Awesome. You want food? I’m gonna score some pancakes myself

Mickey’s kid: A muffin?

Vito: Got a favorite?

Mickey’s kid: Whatever they have available. I’m not picky

Vito: Okie dokie. I’ll text you when I’m in Kansas and on my way. Send me a pin for your clinic whenever

Elias sent him a Google Maps link.

Mickey’s kid: Looking forward to seeing you again. Have a safe flight, and I’ll see you, food, and coffee in a few hours

***

Once their plane landed in Kansas, Tito had driven them straight to the Cassata household to see Matthew ‘Momma’ Dawson, the family’s doctor. Unlike their own house doctor, Momma was sober and actually gave a shit about the men he took care of, Vito’s dumb ass included. After taking Vito’s prized bag of drugs from Tito, he had shooed the taller twin out of his office and closed the door. He sat down at his desk, clearing his throat as he turned the bag over in his hands.

“So… what have you taken most recently?” Momma asked.

“Valium.”

He nodded. “Okay. It looks like all of these pills aren’t Valium, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Are these all things you’ve taken recently?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Momma cleared his throat. “Would you like to tell me what the other pills are, or would you like me to dump them out and find out myself?”

“I can just, uh… tell you, I guess.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

Vito scratched his jaw, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Uh… Vicodin, Oxy, Fentanyl, Codein. Think that’s… probably it.”

“So mostly opioids?” Momma asked, absolutely no judgment written on his face.

“I guess, yeah. And the Valium.”

“Did you take that one frequently?”

Vito shook his head. “I switched… sources the day before I was released. She’s the ‘source’ who gave me that instead of the pain meds.”

“That’s good. We should only have to manage the opioid withdrawal. How are you feeling now?”

“Little bit like I wanna kill you for that bag.”

Momma nodded, like that was a totally normal thing for one human to say to another. “Well, I appreciate the honesty.” He locked the bag away in one of his desk drawers before pushing himself to his feet. “You weren’t getting any alcohol in there, were you?”

“No, just the pills.”

“Good,” Momma said softly, sorting through the keys in his hands. “I’m going to start you on methadone. It’ll help blunt your cravings a bit, but it might take a couple days for you to really feel that difference. It might make you a bit sleepy in the beginning, as well. Are you good at swallowing pills rather than… other methods one may use?”

“A pro at pretty much any form, Momma.”

“Perfect. I’ll give you one before you leave here, and I’ll give your brother the bottle. I’m going to start you on ten milligrams, and if you start experiencing heavy withdrawal in a couple hours despite that, we’ll up your dose. I don’t imagine we’ll have to decrease it any right now given your tolerance, but if you feel completely sedated by it, let me know. We can always adjust. Okay?”

“Okay.” Vito chose to continue staring at the wall as Momma walked behind him to open the medicine cabinet. He did not need to know which drawer held the opioids.

Momma leaned back against his desk, holding a bottle out to Vito. “Give that to your brother. I’ll text him the details, so if you don’t give it to him, he’ll still know you have it, and he will absolutely take it from you. Sound good?”

“Yeah.” Vito rose to his feet and cleared his throat. “Umm… thanks, Momma. For this. And for not being a piece of shit about it.”

“Of course. I’ve stitched you and your brother up so many times that it’d be impossible to pretend you aren’t family, regardless of the name your loyalty officially falls to.” Momma leaned forward to squeeze Vito’s shoulder. “You’re one of ours, kid, whether you know it or not. You always will be, and I will always take care of my own, you included.”

“Well, if you need anything stupid or dangerous done, you know who to ask for,” Vito said.

Momma chuckled. “That I do.” He pointed to the pill bottle. “You keep me updated on how that does for you. If something needs to change, you know where I am.”


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Truths and Chains – Chapter Five

NOT EDITED

Vito smoothed his hands down the button-up he’d artfully stolen from Tito’s closet before nodding toward his brother. Tito offered one of his annoyingly reassuring smiles and knocked on the door. He hoped for Malik. Desperately hoped for Malik. Out of the two men, Malik had always been the softer-sided one, and Vito needed that softer side. If Luca came out of the gate even mildly annoyed by Vito’s presence, he was worried about what would come out of his own mouth before he could bite it back.

But it was the giant who answered the door. He stared at Vito as he nodded over his shoulder, inviting them in. Or, inviting Tito in. He stopped Vito with a hand on his chest. “You sober?”

“I promise,” Vito whispered.

Luca laid his hands on Vito’s cheeks, tilting his head up for a better look into his eyes. Or his soul. Either was kind of unnerving and equally possible. Whichever he searched, he must have found the proof of sobriety he’d been searching for, because he pulled Vito into a tight hug, a protective hand on the back of his head. “I’m sorry I kicked you out last time. Jamal never woulda done that to me. Ever.”

Vito wrapped his arms around his uncle, the back of his shirt twisted between his fingers. “I deserved it.”

“What you deserved was help.”

“I didn’t want help. You always did. It was different for you.”

“Well, I dunno about that.” Luca pulled away. “I only agreed to get sober the first time because Jamal threatened to lock Malik away like Rapunzel — his words, not mine. Fuck if I know what the hell the story is.” Vito chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “In my experience, most people who choose to get sober do it after hitting some sort of turning point. For some people, that’s realizing they’re officially at rock bottom, but that’s not always the case. For me, it was the potential of losing Malik and Jamal. After they got to the Lucchese house, I… I don’t know, they showed me a life I didn’t know was possible. A joy I didn’t know even existed anymore. The idea of losing that so I could keep doing drugs was horrifying.”

“But you still…” Vito cleared his throat. “I don’t wanna be an asshole. I’m not trying to be an asshole. But you still, y’know?”

“Relapsed?” Luca asked.

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes. Not for a while,” Luca said simply, offering a little shrug of his shoulders. “Jamal says it isn’t a failure, not of me and not of my recovery. It’s just an expected part of it all. Common. Over eighty-percent of people relapse in the first year.”

“I don’t know if that’s encouraging or alarming.”

“It’s okay for it to be both,” Luca said. He nodded toward the house. “C’mon, your uncle’s stress baking some brownies. You in?”

Totally in. God, out here talkin’ about my fuckin’ feelings instead of just telling me there are brownies inside? Fuckin’ lame, Uncle L.”

Luca chuckled, rolling his eyes as Vito walked past him. He closed the door, leaning back against it as Vito kicked off his riding boots. “I get you, Vito. Part of you, anyway. If you need to talk and eat brownies? I’m here. Anytime of day or night, I’m here. Okay?”

Vito offered a smile, biting back the usual urge to tell him to go fuck himself for daring to care about him. “Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo.” Luca smiled. “Now let’s go tell your uncle his brownies are fine and totally don’t taste like the batch he burnt before this one. Yeah?”

“Deal.”

***

Though Jamal often flew between the San Diego Pitman Estate and Los Angeles, Vito had practically begged Tito to drive it instead, and his brother had agreed with little protest. None, actually, if Vito were being honest. The man didn’t protest much when it came to his little brother, and Vito was unfortunately incredibly aware of it. The two-ish hour drive had been nice. He hadn’t even minded getting stuck in traffic and delaying their arrival a bit. He hadn’t been stuck in traffic for over six months. It felt a little stupid, but it almost made him feel normal. Normal was good. Probably.

“Shit. What if he’s back in Arizona with Gabby and the kids?” Vito asked as soon as Tito pulled into the long driveway.

Tito chuckled. “I let him know you were out and that you wanted to see him. He’s here.”

“Good. That’s good. Smart. That you checked, I mean.”

Tito reached across the center console to squeeze Vito’s knee. “Jamal has never once been upset with you, Vi. Not for stealing the car, not for decking me instead of behaving at the charity event, not for getting high, not for going to rehab. None of it. He’s not mad at you. He’s always just been… worried. He’s always just wanted you to be okay.”

“I said a lotta shit I shouldn’t have. About him not being our dad and us not being Pitmans.”

“Not to him.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

“No. I have no reason to be a tattletale, Vi.” As per usual, Tito did a damn good job of always reminding Vito just how much better of a brother he was than Vito could ever even pretend to be. “We can sit here in the car for as long as you need to. We’ll go in whenever you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.”

Vito allowed hismelf to take Tito up on that offer for all of fifteen seconds before climbing out of the car. He headed up to the front door and opened it. “JP? The prodigal son has returned.”

Tito snorted. “Wow, that’s a big word for Elmo.”

“Fuck you,” Vito said, unable to stop himself from laughing as he shoved Tito back a step.

Jamal came down the right staircase, dressed in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He’d only been ‘retired’ for a year or so—Vito didn’t really keep track of time in any meaningful way—and it was still weird as hell to see the man dressed in anything other than an expensive black suit. “You know that’s from the Bible, don’t you?” he asked.

“What? Prodigal son?”

“Mmhmm.”

Vito shrugged. “Nah, House MD, dude. He calls the Australian guy that.”

“Ah, of course. I should have known.” Jamal pulled Vito into a hug without needing to intensely analyze him like Luca had needed to. For that, Vito was thankful. He wasn’t sure he could handle Jamal’s scrutiny today too. “Missed you, kiddo,” Jamal said, his voice soft.

“Missed you too, JP,” Vito whispered, arms wrapped tightly around the elderly man. “I’m sorry about the charity stuff.”

“You were going through a lot, kiddo. And believe me, you could’ve done worse.”

“Maybe. But still.” Vito cleared his throat as he pulled away, absnetmindedly poking Jamal in the arm. “Hey, umm… speaking of. Mickey’s kid.”

“Elias?”

“Sure. I don’t fuckin’ know his name, dude. I met him at the charity thing.”

“Elias, yes,” Jamal confirmed. “What about him?”

“I, uh, I was kind of a dick to him. Less than I was to, like… you and Luca and Tito and Frank, but still a dick. You think you could, like… set up or meeting or something with him? He just wanted to talk to me about his dad, a-and if I met one of Mom’s friends, I know I’d want the same.”

“Well, he doesn’t currently attend the charity events, uh… anymore. But—”

“But it’s his dad’s charity.”

“Yes, but he and his stepparents had a falling out of sorts a month or two ago, and he doesn’t go to the events now. But if you’re going back to Kansas after this?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s where he lives. I’m sure I could set you up for coffee or something. I know he’d love to see what all you know about Mickey. Hear any stories you have.” A pause. “Well, not any story. As far as Elias knows, that MC was just a group of guys who liked to ride motorcycles, you hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear ya. No crime stories.”

Jamal nodded. “I’ll give him a call after you head out and see if he’s in the mood for people. If he is, I’ll send you a text. Sound good?”

“Perfect,” Vito said with a little nod.

“If you’ve got time before you leave, we could play a round of poker? Maybe pool, see how good your skills are after six months away from bars?”

“Fuck, yeah, old man. Loser plays Tito so he’s got a chance at winning.”

Tito scoffed. “Rude.”

“You love me.”

“Un-fucking-fortunately.” Tito shoved his brother a step forward. “Lead the way, dickhead.”

***

Elias’s much-needed Friday ‘vacation’ had begun with an early morning call for a dog hit by a car, a cat shot by a neighbor’s kid with a BB gun, and an emergency canine spay following the diagnosis of pyometra. The two dogs were doing well, but the cat’s future was still a bit uncertain, though he was still optimistic about her. She had come through surgery well and woken up from anesthesia without any real concerns. If she was still able to walk after recovery, he’d be over the moon, but he didn’t have high hopes for that. The owners had already made it clear they wouldn’t care for a paralyzed cat. Elias hoped he could talk them into surrendering her if it came down to it, and he expected that it would.

After one final vital check, Elias made his way to his office and dropped into his desk chair with a sigh, body sinking into the temporary comfort of much-needed support. Head tilted back against the headrest, he closed his eyes, giving himself a moment to simply exist and breathe before he dealt with whatever onslaught of bullshit would inevitably be waiting for him on his phone. For the last two months, between his ex, his ex’s friends, and his parents, it had been neverending. Throw in the occasional hatemail from people angry that veterinary services cost money or that he hadn’t been able to save the animal they’d been denying vet care to for weeks before finally coming in, and there wasn’t really much of a break from any of it.

Except for three emergency surgeries back-to-back. He really couldn’t believe he was at a point in his life where he had to be thankful for animal-related emergencies on the one day off he’d given himself in months, because at least it had given him several hours away from his phone, without any possible temptation to look at it and read whatever messages would be waiting on his lock screen.

With a heavy exhale, Elias lifted his head and grabbed his phone from the desk. For now, he scrolled past the notifications of missed calls, voicemails, and text messages from unknown numbers, as well as the ones from his parents. He had one text from JJ, his one and only friend left in this world, asking if he needed anything for groceries, and one text from Jamal Pitman, asking if he was available for a phone call.

He raised a brow. What could Jamal Pitman possibly need that he was texting Elias for it? Sure, he had talked to the man at most of the charity events that were held in his dad’s honor, and before his dad’s death, Jamal had been at every single one of them, but he’d never really spoken to him outside of that. That seemed… worrisome.

He opened JJ’s text first.

Elias: Sorry, I just got out of surgery. I’m okay on everything. Thank you ❤

He backed out of their text thread and opened Jamal’s. He stared at it for damn near an eternity before finally sending back a simple, ‘I’m available’.

It took all of a whopping five seconds for Jamal to call him. Elias blew out a breath, slid his thumb across the bottom of his screen, and pressed his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Elias, kiddo, how are you doing?”

“I’m… okay. Just got out of surgery. Umm, how… are you?”

Jamal chuckled. “I’m all right, thank you. Say, I heard through the grapevine that you met one of my boys a few months back. Do you happen to remember a tall Italian at your father’s event? I’m told he punched a second Italian in the face, which probably made him rather memorable.”

Elias snorted. “Yeah, Vitelli.”

“Vitelli,” Jamal echoed. “Right. Yes. Well, uh, Vitelli just left my house and he was hoping that you’d be willing to let him take you out for coffee or a beer or something. He’d like to apologize for the way he turned up to the event, and he’d like to let you ask some questions about your dad.”

“He would?”

“If you’d be so inclined to put up with him for an hour or two.”

Elias couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, come on. He doesn’t seem that bad.”

“Well, you clearly aren’t on the same list he keeps me on.”

“Oh? And what list is that?”

“Something to the effect of, ‘my list of people to annoy for the rest of eternity’.”

Elias snorted. “I’ll be sure to watch out for that. I’m going to be here at the clinic for a while. He’s welcome to bring coffee here, if he’d like. Otherwise, I’ll probably be more available for locations outside of the office tomorrow.”

“Perfect. I’ll send you his number and you two can work it out.” A pause. “He can be a bit abrasive sometimes, but he’s a good boy. Man.” Jamal chuckled. “But he’ll always be my boy. Your father was great with him. Asking Michael to watch after him and teach him something—anything—other than how to be a pain in the ass is one of the best decisions I ever made. I… I only wish you had both had more time with him. With your dad, I mean.”

“Me too, Jamal,” Elias said after a moment. He ran the heel of his palm under his eye, clearing his throat. “Since I’m agreeing to meet him, I would like to know his actual name, though.”

“Pardon?”

“You hesitated when I said his name was Vitelli. So what’s his actual name?”

“Vito,” Jamal said after a moment.

Elias’s heart stuttered in his chest. “Like, Minetti? So the brother he punched was Tito fucking Minetti? And you didn’t think to, like, lead with that?”

“I didn’t know he had given you a fake name. I’m not sure I would have agreed to call you if I had,” Jamal said. “He isn’t… He’s not the monster the media tries to paint him as. Do you really think your father would’ve spent any time with him if he was? Do you think his brother would be running tattoo shops if he was the monster they try to make him out to be?”

“I… honestly don’t know what I think,” Elias said. “I just know I wouldn’t usually be inclined to pal around with a Minetti.”

“If his real name changes things for you, that’s all right. I can simply tell him you’re busy. It sounds like you have your hands full right now anyway, so it wouldn’t be much of a lie.”

“He said my dad was his best friend,” Elias said after a moment. “Is that part true?”

“Like two peas in a pod. There were times I practically had to drag Vito out of that damn shop to get him back home in time for bed. Michael taught him everything there is to know about a bike, about a car, about a truck. Boy can’t tell you his left from his right, but he sure could rebuild an engine from the ground up. Your daddy taught him all that, bonding over grease and oil the way most bond over sports or beer. I… To be honest with you, Elias, I’m not sure Vito would’ve made it to adulthood without your dad.” Jamal cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to say that as a way to guilt you into meeting with him. Whatever you say about him goes, no further questions asked. If you want to talk with him, great. If you don’t, great. I’ll relay the message either way.”

Since his dad’s death, there hadn’t been many people Elias was ‘allowed’ to talk to about anything, much less about his father. Supposed Minetti Horror Twin or not, it seemed almost criminal to pass up the opportunity. Though Vito had been ‘Vitelli’ the night they’d spent together, he’d still been… human. Vulnerable. Frankly, no matter what the hell his name was, spending an hour or two drinking coffee and chatting about his dad couldn’t be worse than any of the time he’d spent with his ex, or the time he’d spent trying to avoid him. And Jamal was probably right. His dad wouldn’t have spent his time being best friends with someone like the media’s version of Vito Minetti.

“A… a friend of my dad’s deserves a chance no matter his name. Send me his number,” Elias finally decided.

“Wonderful,” Jamal whispered. “I’ll send that to you, then. You’ll want to remind him you’re Mickey’s kid. The boy’s fucking atrocious with names.”

Elias chuckled. “I’ll be sure to do that. Thanks, Jamal.”

“No problem. Thank you for being willing to talk with him. He needs to talk about Mickey. Desperately. But he doesn’t feel like he can to the rest of us. Even a little chat with you could benefit him greatly, and I just… I appreciate it, is all.”

“I could definitely use someone to talk to about him too, so it’s not entirely unselfish.”

Jamal’s laugh was soft and light. “That’s okay. I hope it benefits you both, then. I’ll, uh, I’ll also send you Tito’s number, in case Vito gets a bit too… out of hand. You can text Tito to come pick him up, and he will, no questions asked. Okay?”

“Concerning, but good to know.” Elias swung his chair side to side, clearing his throat. “Is he still high?”

“He’s trying not to be,” Jamal said after a moment. “He just got out of rehab. Don’t tell him I told you that. I’m telling you so you can be prepared. I don’t know what his current coping mechanisms are like. I only just saw the boy for the first time in six months. He seemed… well. He seemed good. But ‘seems’ and ‘is’ are two different things, you know?”

“All too well,” Elias confirmed. “Thanks for the heads-up. It stays between you and me, Pitman. I promise.”

“Thank you. I’ll, uh, I’ll let him know to expect a text from you. They’ll be getting on the plane soon, and they’ll be in Kansas in about three hours, give or take a few. Thank you again, Elias. For being willing to look past the media and talk with him.”

“You’re welcome, Jamal. I’ll let you know if he behaves himself.”

Jamal chuckled. “Sounds like a plan, kiddo.”


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Heads Will Roll – Chapter Twenty-Five

NOT EDITED

By the time Jeff and Bridget heard the voicemail on Rick’s work phone, he’d already received a call on his cell. Now, he stood in the entryway of an empty farmhouse on the outskirts of Ellepath, hands held up by his head, eyes trained on the gun pointed at his face. It had been quite some time since he’d come face-to-face with the business end of someone else’s weapon. That kind of thing didn’t really happen in Ellepath. It had been the whole damn point of moving there, of getting the hell out of California.

He forced his gaze past the gun and to the Black man’s face. “Caleb.”

Caleb’s expression changed entirely, shifting from that almost nervous false stoicism to surprise. “You… How do you know who I am?”

“I’ve never forgotten a victim’s face. That includes the faces of their family.”

Caleb’s breath hitched. He shook his head. “No. He must’ve told you when he called.”

“She was right in front of me, Caleb. She was… she was right there. There has not been a single night that has gone by since that one where I haven’t seen her face when I close my eyes. Not a night goes by where I don’t see a replay of those damn reporters shoving their microphones and cameras in your face to ask how it ‘feels’ to find out your daughter was murdered. I’ll never be able to just walk away from all of that. To forget it. To forget her. To forget you.”

“Their names,” Caleb demanded with a shake of his gun. “What were their names?”

“Gabby. Your little girl’s name was Gabby. She loved horses and her favorite color was teal. She wanted to play the clarinet when she was finally old enough to be in band instead of choir. Your little boy, his name was Dwayne. I… I heard about what happened with him and your wife, and I am… so incredibly sorry for your losses. I know—”

“Don’t,” Caleb whispered. “Please don’t.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry.”

Caleb closed his eyes, the gun still aimed at Rick. Rick chose to hold his ground. Going for the gun and missing meant losing any progress he’d made with Caleb, any progress his appeal to the man’s humanity had made. Caleb wasn’t the ring leader. He was just one part of the ring leader’s twisted, manipulative scheme. There was still a chance for Caleb, and Rick had no intention of fucking that up.

“If you had saved Gabby, Laura wouldn’t have… have done that. But she thought it was the only way to keep Dwayne safe from the same fate Gabby met. Sh-she was just sick. Sick with loss and grief, y-you know?” Caleb asked, opening his eyes again to meet Rick’s gaze.

Rick nodded. “She didn’t see another way through it. She thought taking him with her was better than whatever might happen to him in the hands of someone else. She was just… an ill woman trying to do what she thought was right for her little boy.”

“And she left me behind to pick up whatever busted pieces were left. For… a long time, I wondered why. I wondered why she believed Dwayne deserved the peace that came with death but I didn’t. But I finally figured it out, Deputy. Zak helped make sure of that. It was for this. It was to make sure our little girl finally got the justice she deserved.”

“Zak,” Rick echoed. “Zak Harding?”

“Who else?”

Rick’s brow furrowed. Zak Harding was the father of the second girl who had been murdered that day, Ella. The ring leader, the one who had called him, had sounded nothing like Zak. Rick was certain he would never be able to forget the man’s voice. How the hell could he? The news interviews of both men were permanently etched into every inch of his brain. The gut-wrenching voicemails he’d woken up to post-surgery from both men after their daughters’ deaths played in his head every damn day. How could he possibly forget what he sounded like?

“Did you ever meet Zak? Back in the day, I mean, when the original investigation was ongoing?”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Rick. Zak already told me you’d try to turn us against each other. I’m not stupid enough to fall for that.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. But I do think someone is weaponizing your grief against you, using it to manipulate you,” Rick said.

“Yeah. You. Do you think I’m blind? That I don’t see what all this is about for you? Do you really think I don’t know that every damn word out of your mouth is just a ploy to get me to put the gun down?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Rick repeated. He lowered his hands slightly, holding them out in front of his chest rather than above his head. “If you truly believe he’s definitely Zak Harding, if you truly believe he suffered the same loss you did, shoot me. Right now. You’ve already got the gun. You’ve already got the aim locked down. Pull the trigger. But if you think there’s even a chance that he’s just some sick son of a bitch taking advantage of another person’s grief and hardships, lower the gun instead. Help me get real justice for your daughter, not justice in whatever sick way he’s twisted it to.”

For a moment, Caleb simply stared at him. Finally, he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I believe, Deputy. My job isn’t to kill you. It’s to hold you here until Zak is ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“The finale. What else?”

“The finale,” Rick whispered. “Is that my death, or my boy’s?”

Caleb’s jaw hardened a little, but the gun still didn’t waver off of Rick. “Both.”

***

When neither Rick nor Heidi answered their phones, the four split up to cover the most ground possible. Jeff had gone out to Gerry Schutt’s, Bo and Dallas had gone to the lake, and the sheriff had given Bridget the keys to a cruiser so she could head out to Rick and Heidi’s house.

At the Downs residence, Bridget had to knock on the front door six separate times before Heidi finally answered it. “I need to speak to your husband,” Bridget said.

Heidi stared at her, one hand wrapped around the door, the other clutching her robe at her chest. “He’s at the station.”

“You and I both know that’s not true, Mrs. Downs,” Bridget said, doing her best to keep her voice soft. “I need to know where he went.”

“I don’t know,” Heidi whispered.

“Did he receive a call?” Bridget asked. Heidi nodded. “Did you hear any of it?”

“He told Rick to take him off speaker.”

“Okay. After the call ended, did Rick tell you anything that was said?”

“No. I mean, he… No. He told me no cops. That the guy said… no cops. A-and Rick said that when he comes back, it’ll be with Logan and Bonnie. That’s all I know, I swear.”

“I believe you,” Bridget said quietly. “Did he take his phone?”

“He left it in the kitchen.”

Bridget nodded. “I noticed his cruiser is out front. What’d he take? Does it have a LoJack on it?”

“My car. It doesn’t.”

“What kind of car is it?”

“He said no cops,” Heidi said through her teeth, though she sounded like she was holding back tears rather than anger.
“This is going to be incredibly hard to hear, but that man wants to kill Rick. There is absolutely no talking him down from that revenge. He wants to kill Logan, see Rick’s face when he does it, and then he wants to kill Rick. That is not going to change just because Rick didn’t tell anyone where he was going. I need you to tell me what kind of car to look for. Now.”

***

Bo and Dallas arrived to an empty lake. No body, no Gerry, no sidekick, no Rick. Just ice. Bo couldn’t quite decide if that felt like a good thing or not, if it meant Rick and the kids were still alive or if it simply meant Gerry hadn’t displayed them yet.

“I don’t think they’re dead yet,” Dallas said, eyes scanning the lake. “With the show this guy has put on, I just don’t see him going out with… a whimper instead of a bang. The displays have been public. You don’t decapitate someone and display their head at a separate crime scene than the body if you don’t want attention.”

“You think he’ll want to kill Rick with more eyes on him,” Bo said.

“It seems like that’d sorta be right up his alley.”

“Is that a gut feeling or… a voiced instinct?”

“Both,” Dallas said after a moment.

“What does the voice have to say about it?”

“You don’t want to know”

“Dallas.”

Dallas let out a harsh breath, brow furrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “A public execution for a guy like Rick — well-liked, family man, cop — is the kind of the kind of thing most killers can only dream about. This guy intends to live it, and he’s tired of waiting for his time in the spotlight.”

***

Jeff pulled into Gerry Schutt’s driveway just as the man began to open his garage door. Gerry turned enough to meet his eyes through the windshield before slamming the door back toward the ground, pushing on the handle to make sure it locked back into place. Jeff shut off the engine and pocketed his keys before climbing out of the cruiser. “Hey, Ger. Enjoying your weekend?”

“Oh, sure. Not too bad.”

Jeff nodded, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. “Headin’ somewhere?”

“Just got some errands to run. Groceries, car wash… Nothing that can’t wait.” Gerry crossed his arms over his chest. “You here to do some more accusing? What’s next? You think I took Rick’s boy?”

“Word travels fast, huh?”

“It’s to be expected, don’t you think? Small town, under four hundred people with nothing to do but gossip or drive around on the gravel roads.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true.” Jeff cleared his throat, pulling his hands from his pockets long enough to adjust his tactical belt. “Say, Ger, I’d really appreciate it if you could show me what you’ve got hiding behind door number one, there.”

“You got a warrant?”

“I don’t, but if I find anything along the lines of what I’m expecting to, I don’t much care.”

Gerry snorted. “You find what you’re ‘expecting’ to, and you’ll have nothing to present in a court of law. That whole warrant thing and chain of custody stuff isn’t something they play around with, Jeff.”

“I think that if you open that door, you’ll be dead long before I have to worry about what I need to present to a judge.”

Gerry laughed, genuinely laughed. “Well, a threat like that is a hell of a way to make sure you bastards can’t keep harassing me like this. When I call my lawyer—”

“Call whoever the fuck you want, Gerry. Open the door, or I’ll open it myself.”

Gerry stared at him for a moment before simply stepping to the side and gesturing to the door. “Go ahead and see for yourself, Deputy.”

“Turn around. I’m going to pat you down.” Gerry, suspiciously obedient, turned around, his hands locked behind his head. Jeff kicked his feet apart and patted him down. Nothing but his car keys. “You’re good.”

Gerry dropped his hands, turning back toward Jeff as he stepped up to the garage door. “What is it that you think you’re gonna find in there, Dep? Huh? I mean, really? In a fucking garage?”

“I don’t know. Maybe some body-sized chest freezers.”

Gerry snorted. “Yeah, maybe.”

Jeff twisted the handle and lifted the garage door. He caught a glimpse of Logan staring at him through the back window of Bonnie’s car for all of half a second before Gerry sideswiped him, knocking him to the ground. The door slammed down on Jeff’s ankle. Jeff cried out, doing his best to knee Gerry with his free leg.

Gerry knocked Jeff’s gun from his hand as soon as he unholstered it. Jeff’s leg still trapped beneath the door, Gerry beat him to it with ease. He stood above Jeff, pistol pointed at Jeff’s face.

Jeff held up his hands, chest heaving. “Please,” he whispered. “Gerry—”

Please.” Gerry laughed. “Begging for your life after threatening mine. A turn you weren’t expecting, hmm, Jeffrey?”

Jeff winced, wrapping a hand around his leg, the other still extended toward Gerry. “The kids. Please, Gerry. I-I know Rick hurt you. I know losing your son that way was hard. But don’t take it out on those kids. They did nothing to you. H-how does killing them make you any better than Rick? Huh? How?”

“Rick set off a chain of events, Jeffrey, whether he knew it or not. The lives I take are simply resetting the balance that Rick disrupted when he ripped my son from this world. When he decided that his life mattered more than the life of my son. When he chose himself over all others. I’m… resetting.”

Jeff grunted, digging his fingers into his thigh. “Gerry, we can reset the balance some other way. W-we can take Rick back to California. H-he can pay for what he did. I’ll help you myself, I promise. We can do it without taking anyone else out of this world.”

“You all had plenty of time to make Rick pay for his crimes. You all chose complacency. You were all… complicit. That has no place in the reset.”

“No, no, no, wait—”

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Jeff let out a strangled breath, hand moving to the warmth pooling on his stomach.

Gerry clicked his tongue at him, shaking his head. “You had many chances to choose a side, Jeffrey. You chose wrong.” He lifted the garage door, freeing Jeff’s mangled ankle. In between the high-pitched ringing in his ears, Jeff heard Bonnie scream from the garage. From inside the car.

“It’s a shame that Rick will probably be dead by the time they find out about you, that I won’t get to see his face when the reporters thrust a camera in it to ask how he feels about his responsibility in all this. I suppose I’ll have to tell him myself. A close second in how it will feel, but… good enough for me.” He patted Jeff’s leg twice, hard, drawing a pained groan out of the deputy. “I’ve got places to be, Dep. I’ll see ya in Hell. You can settle your score then.”

Jeff dropped his bloody hand from his stomach, wrapping it around Gerry’s ankle as the man started to step over him.

Gerry laughed. “Tenacious, I’ll give you that. But if tenacity saved lives, my son would be alive, and none of this would have ever had to happen.” He kicked Jeff’s hand away and walked over him and into the garage.

Jeff’s eyes drifted up toward the sky as Gerry climbed into Bonnie’s car and turned over the engine. Jeff watched him back out of the drive, watched the tires track through the blood running down the concrete.

He closed his eyes, hoping desperately that the delay in Gerry’s little drive was enough to save Rick and the kids.


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Truths and Chains – Chapter Four

A/N: I’m also working on the next chapter of Heads Will Roll, so if you’re reading that as well, you’ll hopefully have a new chapter soon!

NOT EDITED

Tito had left him in that hellhole for six months. Six fucking months. The day Vito finally tasted any semblance of freedom, the bastard had the audacity to not come pick him up. Instead, Vito found his parents standing at the end of the driveway. “Momma,” Vito whispered, dropping his bag to run to his adoptive mother. He wrapped her in a hug, sinking to his knees so he didn’t have to tower over her, just this once.

“Oh, baby, it’s so good to see you,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “I can’t even tell you how hard it was to get your brother to tell us where you had been. Where you were.”

Vito turned his head so his cheek rested on her stomach. “He didn’t just… tell you after he put me in here?”

“No. Getting that information out of him was like pulling teeth,” Vito’s dad said. He laid a comforting hand on the back of his son’s head.

“H-he knew I didn’t want you guys to know I was a worthless druggie.”

“No, baby. You’re not worthless. You made some calls that… maybe weren’t the best for you or your health or the people around you, but that doesn’t make you worthless,” his mom said.

Vito turned to bury his face in her stomach again, arms banded tightly around her. ‘Back in the day’, as Vito’s dad usually put it, Alexander had been an American tourist in Italy during his skip year between high school in college. He didn’t speak a lick of the language, and ‘an absolutely stunning college freshman’ had saved him from a pickpocketer and, despite the language barrier, had shown him around Italy. The freshman, of course, had been Marissa, and by the end of the semester, he’d fallen head over heels for her. He’d packed his bags back home and moved to Italy to be with her, and they were married by the time Marissa graduated college.

After several pregnancies that had resulted in little more than grief, pain, and heartbreak, the couple had given up on children. The very next night, someone had pounded on their door, and when Marissa had opened it, she had found no one there, only a box in the rain on the concrete steps outside the building. There, she found what she and Alexander would deem to be miracles: Tito and Vito Minetti, a last name that presumably belonged to one of their biological parents. Given that their biological mother was a murdered Jane Doe, he’d never known which parent, but he’d always assumed it must have belonged to their piece of shit bio-dad.

They were perfect. His parents, not Vito. Definitely not Vito. They had always been perfect, no matter the hurdles life put in their path. His parents were part of some make believe fairytale life Vito liked to live in sometimes, one where he wasn’t a fucking monster that enjoyed torturing and killing people for the mob, one where he wasn’t burying himself in women, drugs, and booze.

One where he wasn’t such a massive piece of shit to everyone who dared pretend to care about him for even half a second.

Alexander and Marissa believed both boys to be perfect little angels. The tattoo artist and his canvas. The Army guy and the boxer. The college grad and his dyslexic ‘little’ brother. The impressively skilled driver and the mechanic. But what they really were was something neither of their parents would ever be able to handle if they knew. It would kill them. Tito had told Vito that so many times that it was one of the few things genuinely burned into the forefront of his mind at all times.

“Where… where is Tito?” Vito asked, his voice muffled by Marissa’s shirt.

“In the parking lot with the car. He said he was worried you wouldn’t want to see him,” Alexander said. “Is that true? That you don’t want to see him?”

“I… I wanna see him.”

“Then let’s get you up, baby,” Marissa said.

Vito pulled away from her and grabbed her hands, rising to his feet as Alexander walked past him to grab his bag from the driveway. Marissa’s much smaller, much more delicate hand held tightly in his, Vito walked with his parents to the parking lot. Tito was leaned back against their car. “Can I talk to him alone for a second, before you guys catch up?” Vito asked.

“Of course. We’ll be right here, baby.” Marissa gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it.

Vito made his way over to his brother. “You look like shit.” And for once, it wasn’t even just one of Vito’s little asshole comments. He truly looked like hell. He’d clearly lost weight, which he seemed to be trying to hide with a jacket that was too big for him. His shooting arm was in a cast and a sling.

“They cut your hair,” Tito whispered, reaching for Vito with his good hand. Vito tilted his head to the side, dodging his touch. Tito dropped his hand to his chest, like he’d been mortally wounded by the action. Or the haircut. “No one told me they’d cut your hair.”

“Yeah, well, if you’d come to visit me in the hellhole a couple times, you woulda known that sooner.”

“I wanted to, Vi. I tried so many fucking times. You didn’t want me there.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you before?”

“They have guards, Vi. Security. It’s not like back home where I can just unlock your door, y’know?” Tito said through a laugh that definitely didn’t find the situation funny. “They’ve got rules, Vi. You put me on the no-visitors list. They take that shit pretty seriously. It actually means something.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Tito whispered.

Vito cleared his throat, reaching out to poke his brother’s cast. “What’d you do?”

“Fell down a flight of stairs.”

“No worse for wear, then.”

Tito chuckled. “Fourteen stitches in the back of my head. Arm’s in the sling for another two weeks.”

“How long you been outta commission so far?”

“Four weeks.”

“Jesus. And… the cast?”

“Broke my wrist. They think it’ll be okay to come off about the same time the sling does.”

Vito crossed his arms over his chest. “And you lost weight.”

Tito lifted his good shoulder. “Is what it is. You look good, though, aside from the hair. I can’t believe they cut it off.”

“Yeah, well, is what it is,” Vito echoed.

Tito nodded. “A-are you still gonna kill me now that you’re out? Or can I give you a hug?”

The way he asked it, like it was a genuine concern, like he was ready to simply lay down and take his death like a man if it was what Vito wanted, broke him. Vito wrapped his arms around his brother, unable to stop the tears once they broke through the dam.

Tito tucked Vito’s head beneath his chin, hand moving over the back of his short hair. “I’m so sorry,” Tito whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do. I-I had to keep you safe. I’m so sorry.”

***

Vito had spent the day with his brother and their parents, even happily agreeing to spend the night at their house before flying back to Kansas. “I think I wanna see Luca and Malik tomorrow before we go back home. Apologize and stuff,” Vito said as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Tito said, his voice quiet.

“Why not? Are they still mad? Like… really mad?”

“It’s not about that.”

“Then what’s it about? They don’t wanna see me?”

“No, I’m… I’m sure they do, Vi. I just…” Tito cleared his throat, looking down as he moved his left hand close enough to his other hand to undo the clasp of his watch. He dropped it into his palm and reached over to set it on the nightstand. “What’d you take today?”

Vito couldn’t help but laugh. “The fuck are you talking about? I’ve been locked away in Hell for six months, and you’ve all been totally up my ass today, but you somehow think I’ve managed to get my hands on something?”

“I’m not mad,” Tito said, his head bowed, his gaze locked on the floor. “I just want to know what it was.”

“Get your head outta your fuckin’ ass, Ti. Jesus. Not even home twelve hours, and you’re already fuckin’ everything up for me.”

“I’m not mad,” Tito repeated. “But I’m not going to let you go see Malik and Luca if you’re high, and I know that you are. I’m not even gonna tell anybody else, Vi. I just want to know what it is and where you got it.”

Vito stared at his brother for an eternity before clearing his throat. “Right now? Valium. The rehab place.”

“Was it prescribed to you?” Tito asked. Vito shook his head. “Did you steal it?”

“I’m not a thief.”

“Okay,” Tito whispered. “So how’d you get it?”

Vito licked his lips, leg bouncing as he stared at his brother, who still wouldn’t look up at him. “Favors. Sexual favors.”

“With one of the other patients?”

“Just once. She had Vicodin.”

“The… the doctors?”

“And a couple orderlies. And one of the guards.”

Tito stayed silent for a long time. “Okay,” he finally managed to force out.

“Okay,” Vito echoed. “That’s it? You find out I’ve still been doing drugs the last six months, and all you have to say is okay?”

“What do you want me to say, Vi? I researched that place for months before I finally stopped chickening out. Months, and I still dropped you into a place where they tried to strip you of your identity, a-and when that didn’t work, they just caved and took advantage of you and gave you whatever drugs you wanted instead.”

“They didn’t take advantage of me. I was a willin’ participant.”

“Yeah,” Tito whispered, “I’m sure most drug addicts feel that way.”

Vito rubbed his hands together before clasping them between his thighs. “It’s not like it’s your fault, Ti. I just… like the way they make me feel. What’s so bad about that?”

“It’s gonna kill you someday, and I’m gonna have to stand next to Mom and Dad and bury their son, my baby brother, because I couldn’t find him something that made him feel good about being alive that wasn’t dark and dangerous.”

“God, you’re such a girl sometimes. All your fuckin’ feelings and shit.”

“I guess I am,” Tito said, eyes still glued to the floor. “You aren’t the only one whose had a rough go of life, Vito.”

Vito rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I get it. You and Jamal and Luca all had such a hard time, and even though Luca turned to drugs and sex, he got sober and stayed sober because he’s so strong. And you and Jamal are so strong and so brave for not trying drugs when you had the chance and all the excuses to do it. Get off my fuckin’ back.”

“I didn’t say… any of that.”

“Whatever. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean it ain’t there. I know you’re thinkin’ it.”

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah? Then what are you thinking that’s keeping you from even bein’ able to look me in the fuckin’ eye?”

Tito finally lifted his head, teary eyes focusing on Vito’s face. Jesus Christ, Vito wished he hadn’t goded him into looking at him. “If I had just grown a pair and stopped the Fosters the first time they touched me, you woulda been safe,” he whispered. “And you… you woulda been okay. But I didn’t, not till it was too late. I helped make you like this. I helped… I did this to you, Vito. Me.”

Even high Vito was having a hard time finding a way to lash out at him for that one. Tito had always been there to protect Vito, to keep him as safe as he possibly could. But who the hell had been there for his big brother to do the same?

By the time Vito made it over to Tito’s bed, the slightly taller twin was sobbing, something Vito genuinely couldn’t remember ever seeing, even the night he killed the Fosters. Tentatively, Vito wrapped his brother in a hug. Tito threw his good arm around him, fingers clutching at the back of his shirt.

“We were just kids, Ti. You were just a kid,” Vito said quietly. “A-a kid with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and you… you never shoulda had to deal with that. I-I’m sorry that you had to for me. You did everything you could for me. You still do. Everything. A-and you shouldn’t have had to.” He laid a hand on the back of his brother’s head, his brow furrowed as his big, strong, knight in shining armor brother cried into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry I was too busy getting drunk and high to see you were struggling too. I’m so sorry.”

***

Vito had been staring at his brother for a good twenty minutes before Tito finally woke up, shifting to rub his face with his good hand. He sniffled as he sat up, gaze settling on Vito’s face. “Hey. What’re you doing up?” Tito asked, his voice rough. Vito told himself that was from still being tired instead of from the crying. It was easier that way.

Vito pulled a bag from his pajama pants’ pocket and tossed it across the room. Tito caught it, holding it up to the light filtering through the window. “That’s the rest of my stash from the rehab place,” Vito said after a moment. “But I’ll have you know I worked really hard for that, so… you owe me pancakes as soon as we get back to Kansas.”

The sound that fell from Tito’s lips was caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Deal.”

“Can we… can we see Malik and Luca before we go? Maybe JP if he’s here? I promise I didn’t take any more last night. I promise.”

“Yeah,” Tito whispered. “Yeah, we can see anyone you wanna see.”

“Do… do you need me to drive?”

Tito lifted his head long enough to offer a small smile. “I’ve got it.”

“Okay.”

Tito cleared his throat as he adjusted the strap of his sling. “I’d like to talk to Bo about the rehab place, see what he can do about getting the people who need to be fired out of there. Do you remember how many of them that would be?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“Why, so when you send me back, you know I can’t sleep my way to a couple pills again?” Vito asked.

“I’m not sending you anywhere. There are other vulnerable people there, people who went there for help, people being taken advantage of instead of getting the help they deserve.”

“So… you won’t send me back?”

“No, I won’t send you back.”

After a moment, Vito nodded. “There were four orderlies, two of the quacks, and one of the guards.”

“Jesus.”

“Hey, what can I say? I’m nothing if not accomplished in the sex department.”

Unfortunately, Tito didn’t even crack a smile, just a sad, tired glance in his direction. “Do you know their names?”

“You’re asking if I remembered their names? Who the fuck you think you’re talkin’ to?”

“That’s fair.” Tito lifted his good hand to scratch the side of his head. “If Bo could get ahold of some staff pictures, would you be able to recognize them?”

“Yeah.”

Tito nodded. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll start there.” He cleared his throat as he pushed himself to his feet. “C’mon. We’ll have breakfast with Mom and Dad and I’ll call Bo on the way to Malik and Luca’s place. Sound good?”

Vito shrugged. “You’re gonna do it no matter what I think of it.”

“Also fair,” Tito agreed.

Vito stood up and followed his brother out of the room. “You said you… fell down the stairs?”

“Yeah.”

“That actually true?”

Tito chuckled. “It is.”

“How?”

“People trip and fall all the time, Vito.”

“Yeah, clumsy people. You ain’t clumsy. You’re, like… whatever the opposite of clumsy is.”

“I was dizzy.”

“Does that… happen a lot?”

Tito lifted his good shoulder in a shrug. “Off and on the last two months or so.”

“You seen Doc about it?”

“He told me to buy some Dramamine and stop being such a pussy.”

“I’m gonna kill him. No one but me gets to call you a pussy.”

Tito snorted. “Appreciate the defense of my honor, Vi.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Before Tito could turn out of the hallway, Vito grabbed his good arm. “You’re, like, okay though, right?”

“I’m fine. The motion sickness stuff has helped.”

“Good. ‘Cause, like, I know I don’t say it a lot, but—”

“I know, Vi.”

“But I love you, and I want you to be okay,” Vito finished.

Tito offered a reassuring smile. “I’m okay, Vi, I promise. Doc says there’s, like… a million things that could cause the dizziness thing, and it’s not like it’s all the time or anything. Aside from the little stair stumble, it hardly affects my daily life.”

“Yeah, but you always say Doc’s a drunk and what he says doesn’t matter.”

Tito chuckled. “And to think I always assumed you didn’t listen to a single damn thing I say.”

“I listen. I just, y’know… am an asshole and like to make sure you know it at every possible chance I’m given.”

“Oh, I’m very aware of it, don’t worry. You’ve done a real thorough job, Vi.”

Vito smiled before it fell again. “But this one time, when it’s your health instead of mine, you’re gonna listen to Doc? I get a papercut, and you want me to go to the ER to make sure Doc didn’t do something to infect it. You get so dizzy you fall down the stairs and break your arm, fuck up your shoulder, and crack your head open, and you just… take some Dramamine?”

“If you’re that worried, I’ll go to a real doctor. I’m just… not that worried. I feel fine outside of the occasional dizziness and nausea, and the Dramamine has totally taken care of that. Until it stops taking care of it, I don’t see the point in doing anything else.”

“Right,” Vito said, dragging the word out over several beats. “You feel that way about it all the time, or only because you’re punishing yourself for locking me up at the nut house?”

“It was a rehab center.”

“Filled with nuts. Myself included,” Vito said. “So the question stands.”

“You know, this version of you is actually kind of more annoying than your usual annoying little brother persona.”

“Good, I’m planning on keeping this one for a while,” Vito said. “So?”

Tito let out a breath, his shoulders sinking just enough for Vito to notice. “I don’t know. I guess… it’s possible the guilt from sending you to rehab could have something to do with the decision to just go see Doc instead of a doctor that… still has their license.”

“But your little topple down the stairs happened before you knew that I was sleeping with the staff for drugs or that they cut my hair. Why were you guilty before that?”

Tito stared at his brother for a moment, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know.”

“Well, even I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”

“You aren’t stupid.”

“Way to swerve the topic again. You know, that’s supposed to be my special skill, and it’s pretty fucked up for you to be out here trying to steal it from me.”

Finally, Tito cracked an actual smile, and he even chuckled a little. “When Luca needed help, Jamal was that help. Jamal and Malik. They saved him, every single time. Jamal sat with him through every detox and fought every single urge with him. Every single time. It was just them. No rehab. No doctors. No psychologist. No guards or orderlies or white rooms or basically shaving his fucking head. Just… them. Family.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it was, like, the sixties. It wasn’t like Lucchese was gonna give Luca a paid holiday to go to rehab every time he got hooked on the shit again,” Vito said. “Besides, Luca wanted help. I didn’t. You would not have gotten me sober without locking me up somewhere.”

“I arguably didn’t get you sober even when I did lock you up somewhere.”

“Fair,” Vito said after a moment. “But that’s not your fault either. You said you researched the place for months. It’s not like you knew I was gonna start selling myself for a fucking pill here and there. It’s fucking embarrassing, dude, the shit I’d do for a hit. That’s not on you. I put my own big boy pants on and made my own big boy decisions. From our little chat last night, it kinda seems like you already shoulder the blame for just about every single problem in my life. How about you go ahead and let me shoulder the blame for this one, huh? Let me take the blame for my choices, and you go see a real fuckin’ doctor so I know you’re okay. Okay?” “Okay,” Tito whispered. He pulled his arm from Vito’s grip so that he could give his brother’s shoulder a tight squeeze. “Okay. I will, I promise. But let’s start with breakfast, yeah?”
Vito nodded. “That, I can get behind. Lead the way.”


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Truths and Chains – Chapter Three

NOT EDITED

Vito awoke tucked into a bed in the guest room of Luca and Malik’s modest little home in Los Angeles. Like Jamal Pitman’s little brother and a former Lucchese soldier couldn’t afford a fucking mansion instead of a one-story, three-bedroom home. He tossed the covers to the end of the bed and sat up, dropping his feet to the floor. Tito was asleep in a chair in the corner of the room, a blanket pulled up around his shoulders, his fist digging into his temple. In classic Tito fashion, he must have kept guard all night, just to make sure Vito felt safe.

Shocking? Not really. Made him feel like an even bigger piece of shit than usual? Definitely.

The smell of actual food lured Vito to the kitchen, where he was thankful to find Malik instead of Luca at the stove, flipping pancakes. “Morning, Uncle Mal.”

“Hey, kiddo.” Malik reached out and squeezed Vito’s arm. “When Luca told me your brother called last night to see if you guys could stay the night, I wasn’t sure I believed him.”

“Because I’m, like, an asshole?”

“No, honey, of course not. Because we just don’t see you two as much as we’d like to, that’s all. We love having you around.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.” Vito grabbed a pancake from the plate on the counter and artfully folded it into his mouth.

Luca, a tattooed and scarred Mexican who was a giant even by Vito’s standards, walked into the kitchen, leaned down to kiss Malik’s temple, and promptly smacked the back of Vito’s head.

Oww.”

Luca,” Malik scolded.

The giant ignored him. “Remember all those fun talks we had about doing drugs and how they ruined my fucking life?”

Vito sighed. Jesus. Now he remembered why he didn’t hang around his uncles often. “Yes.”

“And you still couldn’t bring yourself to listen? Couldn’t even listen for once in your Goddamn life?”

“Luc, come on. He’s just a kid,” Malik said.

No, he’s a stupid fucking adult making stupid fucking adult decisions. Decisions that affect everyone around him.” Luca jabbed a finger into Vito’s chest. “You think I didn’t see the bruises under your brother’s eyes? Like I don’t know you punched him in the damn face before he spent the evening calling around to find somewhere you felt comfortable staying? Think your dad didn’t call me up yesterday when you were on your little spree with the car because he was worried you were out trying to get yourself killed?”

Vito wanted to point out that Tito had only had to call one person, but his mouth ran a hell of a lot faster than his brain. “He’s not my fucking dad.”

“He’s one of the closest things you’ll ever get to one. ‘Real’ Mommy and Daddy don’t know anything about what their little boy’s up to, do they?”

Vito shoved Luca back into the island. “Least I don’t walk out on my boyfriend and knock up some rando every time I’m high. How many bastard children you got running around these days, Uncle L? Any ballpark guesses on just how many times you’ve been someone’s worthless daddy?”

Luca let out a huff of a laugh, his lips parted in that way that usually meant someone was going to try and kick Vito’s ass. Heavy on the ‘try’.

“That’s not fair,” Malik decided, stepping between the pair, eyes on Vito’s face. “Something like that has not happened for a long time, and you know it.”

“Yeah, that you know of. Who knows what he does behind your back these days. Or who.” Vito laughed. “You’ve turned so many fucking blind eyes to what he does, that I’m not even sure you’d see it if he fucked someone right here in front of us.”

“I want you out of my goddamn house. Right now,” Luca said from behind the shorter man.

“Luca.”

“Your brother can take you, or you can find your own way out. Don’t care where you go, but if you’re not gone by the time I’m back in this fucking kitchen, I’m dragging you out myself.”

Luca.” Malik turned off the burner and set the spatula on the counter before following the giant out of the kitchen. “Can we talk about this?”

Vito snatched another pancake from the counter and headed back to the guest room. Half a pancake shoved in his mouth, he kicked Tito’s shin with his toes. Tito let out a quiet grumble, pulling his leg away from him. “Luca’s kickin’ me out. You takin’ me, or am I findin’ a ride back to my truck?”

“Luca…? What?” Tito rubbed at his eyes before forcing them open to look at his watch. “It’s not even noon. How’d you…? Why are you even up? What’d you do?”

“Why’s it gotta be my fault?”

“Because it usually is. What’d you do?”

“Don’t matter. I’ll see myself out. See you back home.”

“Vi.” Tito grabbed his arm, but Vito shook him off. “Just… chill, okay? Give me a second,” he said through a yawn. “Can I talk to Luca first?”

“For?” Vito asked, folding the rest of his pancake into his mouth.

“To see if I can change his mind?”

“If the dude he sticks his dick in can’t change his mind, I doubt you can.”

Tito winced, pushing himself to his feet. “I wish you wouldn’t say shit like that. They’re family. They’re our uncles, dude.”

“We’re not related to them.”

“We’re not related to anyone, if you wanna be an ass about it. Adopted, found, and chosen family is all we got, Vi. You and me are the only blood there is.”

“That’s how it should be. Just be you and me,” Vito said. “No one else. Just us against the rest of ‘em.”

Tito laughed, grabbing his shirt from the floor. “What are you suggesting? We run away to start our own crime family and start killing anyone who stands in the way?” he asked as he tugged his shirt on over his head.

“No more bowing down to Carmine and Venetia or Jamal or Bo.”

Tito’s brow furrowed, eyes locking on Vito’s face. “I was kidding.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Jesus, Vi.” Tito laid his hands on his brother’s cheeks. “How high are you?”

Vito tried to smack his hands away, but he wouldn’t budge. “You want a second fucking lesson, Tito? Get your hands offa me.”

Tito dropped his hands back to his sides. “This isn’t from last night. You… What’d you do? Sneak out and buy something after I fell asleep?”

Vito snorted. “Like I had to sneak out. Not like you frisked me when you got to the charity thing.”

Tito stared at him for a moment before grabbing Vito’s suit jacket from the bed. When he didn’t find anything in the pockets, he turned to his brother. “You still have some on you?”

Vito shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Oh, a junkie always knows.”

“Fuck you.”

Tito shoved his brother into the wall, an arm pressed against his chest to keep him there, free hand trying to pat down the pockets of his pants. Vito drove a knee into Tito’s groin, shoving him away as soon as the pressure of his arm faltered. Tito stared at him, shoulders rising and falling at an alarming rate. “Give me the bag, Vito.”

“I’ll find my own way home.”

“Give me… the bag.”

“What I do with my own fuckin’ money is my damn business.”

“The hell it is. Not when it’s destroying everyone around you.”

“Then get the fuck out of my life, Tito.”

“I can’t! I promised to protect you. I promised to keep you safe. Always! A Pitman—”

“You ain’t a fuckin’ Pitman! You’re a fuckin’ Minetti! And you know what Minettis are, Tito? They’re pieces of shit. They’re pieces of shit who knock up their girlfriends and leave ‘em scared and alone. So fuckin’ scared that they give birth by themselves, who the fuck knows where, and take their newborn babies to some random fuckin’ apartment and drop ‘em on the stairs, hope someone finds ‘em and takes ‘em inside and out of the rain. Such pieces of shit that she still ends up dead in the middle of a field afterward, unidentified because a Minetti doesn’t even care enough to make sure the mother of their children gets to be buried in a grave with her fucking name on the headstone! So be the Minetti you are and not the Pitman you think you’re worthy of being, and get the fuck out of my life!”

When Tito didn’t do anything more than stare at him, chest heaving, Vito deduced that he’d won yet another battle for the day and walked out of the room. He didn’t make it far before Tito tackled him face first to the ground. Tito yanked his hands behind his back, his knee pressed between his shoulders to keep him grounded. “You can be a Minetti all you want, Vi, but I’m a fucking Pitman,” Tito said, his voice shaky and a little broken. “And Pitmans don’t let their brothers kill themselves like this. Pitmans… Pitmans stop being cowards and get their brothers the help they need.”

Vito struggled against him, desperately trying to free himself, but Tito’s grip was tight and unwavering. “You check me into some fuckin’ white room, Tito, I swear to God, I’ll kill you the second I’m out.”

“Then at least you’ll do it sober.”


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Truths and Chains – Chapter Two

NOT EDITED

“I don’t want to go to your thing tonight.”

Jamal glanced up in the mirror to meet Vito’s gaze before going back to shaving the hair along his jawline. “Just because I invited you doesn’t make it my thing. It’s for Mickey, and you should be there. They only do one in his name around the anniversary. They hardly acknowledge him otherwise. You should be there for that acknowledgement.”

“Well, he’s my dead friend, and I say I don’t wanna be there.”

“If you can come up with a good excuse, sure. If not, you’re going to be there.”

“I had a rough night.”

“Every night is a rough night for you. That’s what happens when you feed your liver with alcohol and your veins with whatever the hell you can shoot into them.”

“Fuck you, old man.”

Jamal only chuckled. Not quite joyous, but not that terrifyingly dark one he reserved for a category of people Vito usually didn’t fit into. “This is the first time they’ve held one of these at the same time you’d be available to attend. They aren’t going to hold another in his honor until at least next year, and based on how much shorter they get every year, I wouldn’t be surprised if they phase him out entirely. You should be there. He would want you to be there.”

“You don’t know what the fuck he’d want.”

Jamal let out a breath, turning on the water long enough to rinse off his razor. “I realize you’re you, but I’d like to remind you that Mickey was my friend long before he was yours. You only knew the man because I stuck you with him to try and manage some of your you qualities.”

Vito stayed silent as Jamal washed his face. “Mickey’s the only other person I ever told about what the Fosters did to me and Ti. What… what Ti did to them after.” Jamal’s hand froze midway to the towel. “That was all I could think about last night. Couldn’t bury it beneath… any amount of beer, no matter how many I downed. The vodka didn’t help. Neither did the Scotch. And I know it’s a little TMI for your generation, but neither did the sex.” Vito cleared his throat. “Mickey was, like… the first person outside of Tito to make me feel like I didn’t deserve it. Like I hadn’t done something to ask for it. He was the only one I could talk to about it. And he’s dead, and he’s been dead, and I haven’t been able to fill that hole no matter what I shoot into it.”

“You can talk to me,” Jamal said after what felt like an eternity. “And your brother. He lived it. He was… he was there. You know you can talk to us.”

Vito only crossed his arms over his chest. “So is that a good enough reason not to go?”

“I’m telling your brother you’re struggling,” Jamal said, finally grabbing the towel to dry his face.

“Oh, my God, if I wanted Tito to know, I’d have fucking told him, Jamal. I’ll go to your stupid fucking fundraiser.”

“Vito—”

“I said I’ll fucking go. Jesus.” Vito pushed himself away from the doorframe and stormed his way through the Pitman Estate until he made it to the garage, where he promptly grabbed a set of keys to steal whichever expensive car lit up and beeped at him. One of the Bugattis. Yep, that would work.

***

Vito strolled into the banquet hall, hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, and searched the crowd of rich losers for Jamal. Instead, he was practically accosted by the man’s personal bodyguard before he even made it three feet inside.

“Are you high?”

“Evening, Frank,” Vito said, looking down at the older white man.

Frank shook his head. “Mister Pitman—”

“Pfft. Don’t ‘Mister Pitman’ me. Like I fucking give a shit about that hoity toity bullshit.”

Frank grabbed his bicep and yanked him a step closer. “Mister Pitman was incredibly concerned during your little adventure. You’re lucky your brother talked him out of putting out an APB on that damn car.”

Pfft.”

“I’ve got him.”

Vito closed his eyes at the sound of his brother’s voice. Just what he needed.

“If he can’t behave himself, I want him out of here before Mister Pitman or anyone else important sees him,” Frank said, pushing Vito back toward Tito. “Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Tito assured. Once Frank had turned away, Tito stepped in front of his brother, brow furrowed with that oh so familiar concern that Vito hated.

“Oh, goodie, my knight in shining armor, come to save the day,” Vito said.

Tito didn’t even roll his eyes. “Jesus, Vi. What’d you take?”

“What car, or what drug?”

Jesus,” Tito whispered. “Drug. I’m aware of the car.”

“Don’t matter. Got me here, didn’t it? Does the name really make a difference after that?” Vito asked.

“You could’ve killed yourself. Or someone else.”

Vito lifted his shoulders.

Tito smoothed his hands over either side of Vito’s jacket and untied the atrocious knot in his tie before redoing it. “You’re gonna be good, aren’t you? For Mickey?”

“Totes.”

“Vito, I’m serious.”

“So am I. Get your fucking hands off me.” Vito tried to shove him away, but Tito wrapped his hands around his jacket. “Tito, I’m not fuckin’ around.”

“Neither am I.”

Before he could even consider stopping himself, Vito drove his fist straight into his brother’s nose. Tito stumbled back, a hand flying up to his face. “Oh, my God, Ti. I’m so sorry.” Vito reached for him, but Tito stepped away, holding out his free hand to keep Vito at bay. “I’m sorry.”

Tito pulled his hand back long enough to look at the blood in his palm. “I… I need to find the bathroom. Wait outside. I’ll drive you back to a hotel so you can sleep off whatever the hell you took.”

“Ti.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll just—I need a second. I’ll be with you in a second. Okay?”

“ ‘Kay,” Vito whispered. He headed outside and sat down on the steps, head falling to his hands. It wasn’t long before he heard the door behind him and a hand touched his shoulder. He lifted his head, finding himself staring at… God what the hell was his name?

“I thought that was you,” the Black man said, his voice just as soft as it had been the night before. He sat down beside Vito, hands wrapped around the edge of the step. “Was a bit odd, you know, watching you punch a guy in the face who arguably has the same face as you.”

“My brother.” Vito cleared his throat. “Twinsies,” he added in a whisper.

“What’d he do to deserve it?”

“I don’t know. Existed, I guess. He doesn’t have to do much to set me off.” Vito clasped his hands between his knees, blurry gaze focused on his feet. “I don’t mean to be such a piece of shit to him, not really.”

“I’m guessing being high as a kite doesn’t help,” the man said.

“It don’t,” Vito agreed in a whisper, his brow furrowed. “This the… the fundraiser you’re supposed to schmooze for money at?”

“Generally speaking. But I’m not out here to beg for a donation, if that’s what you’re asking. At these types of events, I just naturally gravitate to pretty Italians that punch other pretty Italians.”

Vito almost smiled at that, but his brain had already started down a much different path. “How do you know the… the people in charge?”

“It’s my dad’s organization. Or, it was when he was alive. My step parents are in charge now.”

Vito turned just enough to look at the man again. “You’re…? Mickey’s your dad?”

“Mickey?” he echoed. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone other than his biker buddies call him that,” he said with a little laugh. “Yeah, he’s my dad.”

“Oh, my God,” Vito whispered, gaze shifting back to his feet.

“Are… you one of his biker buddies? Or, were you, I guess, would be… more accurate.”

“Sorta. He taught me everything I know about bikes. He was sorta assigned to me to try and make me less of an asshole.”

He chuckled. “Well, I guess he didn’t do his job then, did he?”

Vito couldn’t help but laugh as he wiped his nose with his fist. He shook his head. “Not good enough, no. He tried though. He was, like, my best friend in… in the whole fucking world.”

“Mine too. Though I wasn’t being an asshole. Most of the time, anyway.”

“That’s checks out. The not being an asshole part.” Vito sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “I’m… I’m sorry about your dad. I know losing him like that had to have… I know it sucked.”

“And I’m sorry you lost your best friend.”

Vito ran through last night’s conversation in his head, what he could remember of it, his brow furrowed. “You said you were in a car accident.”

“Yeah.”

“Was it…?”

“The one that killed him?” he asked. “Yeah.”

“Jesus,” Vito whispered. He laughed, even though it wasn’t funny. “That’s when I, like, really started drinking. I don’t know how you’re okay.”

He laid a tentative hand on his shoulder, but Vito shrugged it off. “Would you like to talk about him? I… I know I like to. I think it helps.”

“No.”

“That’s okay.” He tucked his hands back between his knees. “You were gone when I woke up.”

“Yeah.”

“Did… you get any sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” He cleared his throat. “Could I offer to… take you out for a coffee? Give you something in your system other than beer and whatever you took before coming here? We don’t have to talk. We can just sit.”

“No.”

“Okay,” He whispered. “Do you have someone to take you home? Or are you stuck on the stairs for the rest of the evening?”

“I can take care of myself, dude. I don’t need your fucking help. And Jesus, do you ever stop with the fucking questions?”

“Okay.” He pushed himself to his feet and squeezed Vito’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming, even if you didn’t make it far before, y’know, punching yourself in the face. I appreciate you showing up for my dad regardless of how long you were here. Or the state of your arrival.”

“Yeah,” Vito whispered. He reached up and grabbed the man’s hand the second it left his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I really don’t mean to be a cunt. I just… am. All the time. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t the greatest person in the depths of my grief, either. I hope you find peace, Vitelli. True, genuine peace. My dad would’ve wanted that for you. He wouldn’t want you suffering so greatly on his behalf.”

Vito let out a broken sound and squeezed his hand tightly before letting go, and the man whose name he still couldn’t fucking remember headed back inside. It wasn’t long before Tito came outside, his undereyes already beginning to bruise from the fist to the face. God, Vito was such a piece of shit. “I’m so sorry, Ti.”

“Let’s just go,” Tito said, holding out a hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“I heard you the first time. Let’s go.”

“Are you mad?”

Tito let out a breath, closing his eyes briefly. “No. I’m worried, but I’m not mad.”

“Okay,” Vito whispered, grabbing his brother’s hand. Tito tugged him to his feet. “Can you take me to Mom and Dad’s?”

“You’re high, Vi.”

“Yeah?”

“They don’t know that about you, Vi. Remember?”

“Oh,” Vito whispered. “Yeah. Okay.”

“We… I could see if Uncle Malik and Luca would let us stay at the house here in LA?”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Tito whispered back. “Let’s, uh, let’s get you to the car, and then I’ll give Uncle Luca a call. Okay?”

Vito only managed to offer a nod, worldlessly following Tito down the stairs and through the parking lot. Once he was in the car, he stuck out his hand to keep Tito from closing the door. “Please don’t let Jamal drag me to the next one of these. I can’t, Ti. I just can’t.”

Tito reached into the car to push his brother’s hair from his face. “I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Tito said softly. “Let’s find you somewhere safe to sleep, okay?”

“Okay, Ti.”


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Truths and Chains – Chapter One

This is a mafia romance. This book features heavy themes, including: drug use, abuse and addiction; murder; references to childhood SA (NO scenes depicting it, only references to it)

I am actively still writing this book. If I become aware of more themes that should be disclosed, I’ll add them here as I go

NOT EDITED

Vito had had… urges for a while. Not for the first time, he sat in the parking lot of a gay nightclub in California, just far enough away from Los Angeles that his brother wouldn’t be able to track him down and find out about said urges. Before he could talk himself out of it yet again, Vito climbed out of the truck, locked it, and headed inside. As he downed his first beer of the night — first one at the bar, anyway — his dark eyes scanned the nightclub. The dance floor was packed, some of the men barely a step away from full-blown sex right there in the open for anyone to see.

His gaze settled on a black man in a light blue denim button-up and dark skinny jeans. He was alone. Maybe that had been what had caught Vito’s eye first. Or the incredibly seductive body rolls he was managing without spilling a single damn drop of his drink.

Through the thumping bass and the strobe lights, the stranger’s eyes met Vito’s. He beckoned him with two fingers. A smile tugged at one corner of Vito’s lips, but he shook his head. He was pretty sure the stranger mouthed something like, “Boo”, before going back to his own little world of sex appeal, one hand burying itself in his hair.

Vito let out a breath and downed the rest of his beer before ordering another. Halfway through the second one, he waded his way through the sweaty crowd, eyes focused on the stranger. If he was finally going to commit to his curiosities, the curiosity might as well be hot.

Vito settled himself behind the guy, closing his eyes for a moment as the man threw an arm around the back of his neck, ass rubbing against him in all the wrong — or… right — ways as he moved his hips. “That offer to come here and dance still on the table, then?” Vito asked, lips pressed to the shell of his ear.

“For you? Absolutely.”

Vito hummed his approval before taking another sip of his beer. He wasn’t sure he had pregamed hard enough to fully go through with this, but he was going to try. One and done. Get it out of his system. Not have to think about it anymore. Go back to only having to think about women.

“Can’t believe you’ve managed not to draw a whole crowd ‘round you, movin’ like that,” Vito said.

The guy chuckled. “Maybe no one else is brave enough to dance with me,” he said, head tilted back against Vito’s shoulder, lips close enough to his ear that he could make out most of the words over the music. “You got what it takes to be brave, handsome?”

Vito had danced with dozens of women. Hundreds was probably more accurate. It wasn’t like he kept count. If he just didn’t think about it, he’d be fine. “I do.”

“Mm. We’ll see about that.” He patted Vito’s cheek before sliding down against him, sinking to the lowest squat Vito’d ever seen before coming back up, his back pressed tightly to Vito’s chest, ass pressed to a spot just beneath his groin. Vito swallowed roughly, laying a hand on his stomach as he did everything he could not to really focus on it and simply move with him. With his hips, with his shoulders.

It was impossible not to think about it.

“I-I’ve never really done this before,” Vito said. He hadn’t really meant to say it outloud, but there it was.

The guy stilled for the briefest of moments. Vito wasn’t even sure it had actually happened. “Danced with a man?”

“Yes.”

He turned in Vito’s arms, fingers splayed out across his chest instead, dark eyes locked on Vito’s. “That’s okay. If you can learn, I can teach.”

“I… I can learn.”

He smiled. “Perfect.” His fingers brushed across Vito’s cheek as he tucked his dark hair back behind his ear. “I’ve got you. Just follow my lead.”

***

By the end of the night, Vito was comfortable with every above-the-belt part of the man’s body, so much so that when he’d asked if Vito wanted to get out of the club, he had nodded without hesitation and allowed the man to lead him through the tightly packed dance floor, out to the parking lot, and down the block to a hotel. The man passed his keycard through the lock and opened the door. Once he’d stepped inside and flipped on the light, he turned to face Vito, holding out a hand. “Coming?”

Vito stared at his outstretched hand for a moment. The nightclub stamp on the back of it. His long, almost elegant fingers. Vito swallowed before grabbing his hand and stepping into the room. The man reached past him to close the door before gently pushing Vito back against it, hands sliding up to his chest.

“I’d like to wager a guess that dancing with a man isn’t the only thing you’re doing for the first time tonight. Right?” he asked.

Vito shook his head. “No.”

“I thought so.” He cleared his throat, the fingers of one hand toying with the zipper of Vito’s leather jacket. “What are you hoping to get from the night?”

“Sex. What the hell other option is there?”

The man smiled rather than laugh at him. “Kissing. Cuddling. Watching a movie. More dancing. Touching. Don’t push yourself too far outside your comfort zone in one night, you know?”

Vito shook his head. “One and done. Get it out of my system.”

“Oh, honey,” he whispered.

Vito pushed his hands off his chest and walked past him. “I don’t need that. I’m not in the closet. I’m not gay. I’m just… curious.”

“You know straight and gay aren’t the only two options, right?” he asked, turning to face Vito. “Sexuality is a spectrum. You can be gay or straight or anything in between. It isn’t cut and dry. You don’t have to only like women or only like men. It’s okay to want both.”

Vito shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s not.”

The man crossed the room, hands tucked neatly into his pockets. “If you truly believed that, deep down, would you have made it this far tonight?”

Vito offered a shrug. “I dunno.”

“I don’t think you would have. Not without insulting me or the men around us for being gay.”

“I’m not homophobic. My uncles are gay. My boss is gay. But I’m not. That’s got nothing to do with you or the other guys around us. I ain’t gonna take it out on them. Or you.”

“Mm.” He pulled a hand from his pocket, fingers brushing Vito’s temple as he tucked his dark hair back behind his ear. “My name’s Elias.”

“Vitelli.” It felt weird, giving a man the fake name. It was always a woman he gave one to. Guess there’s a first time for everything.

“Vitelli,” Elias repeated. “Sounds like a strong name.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s attached to me.”

Elias chuckled. “I’m sure that’s why,” he said, his voice soft. “What do you want me to do, Vitelli?”

“One and done,” Vito reminded. “So… show me one hell of a good time?”

“I can do that.” He laid both hands on either side of Vito’s face, tilting his head back ever so slightly. “You can stop any action at any time. Okay?”

“ ‘Kay.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Vito swallowed roughly before nodding.

“Can you say it?”

“Kiss me. Please.”

Elias leaned down and pressed his lips to Vito’s. Vito closed his eyes, one hand finding its way up Elias’s back, the other gripping Elias’s forearm so tight, he was vaguely concerned he’d break the damn thing. But Elias didn’t seem to mind. Vito pressed his tongue to Elias’s lips, begging for access that Elias so graciously granted him. Vito’s hand had just made it under Elias’s shirt when the man climbed onto his lap, arms wrapping themselves loosely around his neck instead. Vito groaned, grinding up against Elias just enough to draw a gentle little laugh from Elias’s lips.

“Patience, handsome. Gotta get you warmed up first.”

“I’m plenty warm,” Vito said.

Elias smiled. “Yeah, I can feel that. But we don’t want to go too fast and scare you away before you’ve had a good time, do we?”

Vito searched his face for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”

“Didn’t think so.” Elias wrapped a hand around Vito’s chin and pressed a kiss to his lips. Soft and quick. Not necessarily in a hurry, but certainly not agonizingly slow or lingering. Elias’s lips moved to Vito’s neck and shoulder, a hand slowly trailing down his abdomen. Vito swallowed, doing his best to keep himself under control, to keep his many walls from cracking, but he couldn’t. He grabbed Elias’s wrist as soon as his fingers brushed against his groin. Elias pulled back ever so slightly. “Too fast?”

“No. I just… I don’t let…” Vito cleared his throat. “I don’t let anyone do that.”

“Touch you?”

“Touching me is fine. Just not my dick.”

Elias pulled away entirely, leaning back on Vito’s lap as he threaded the fingers of his free hand through the hair at the base of Vito’s neck, his other hand still trapped by Vito’s grip around his wrist. “Would you prefer to touch mine?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Elias said, his voice soft. Non-judgemental. “Are you worried me touching you that way makes you too gay?”

“I don’t let anyone do it,” Vito repeated. “Anyone.”

“A blowjob virgin.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Elias’s brow furrowed, like he was trying to untangle all of Vito’s feelings, the ones he’d said aloud and the ones he hadn’t. Something changed in his eyes, and his expression softened. “Oh.”

“Don’t. I didn’t fuckin’ say anything. Don’t.”

“It’s okay,” Elias said softly. He leaned forward and kissed the corner of Vito’s mouth, his cheek, his jawline. “Tell me what you want me to do. You’re in control of this, Vitelli. Of me. Not the other way around.”

God, did he like the sound of that. Vito released his grip on Elias’s wrist. “Try.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“We can skip the touching, if you want. I find it a little less fun to jump into fullblown sex, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.”

“I said I was sure.”

“I want you to know your options.”

Try.”

“You can stop me at any time.”

Vito nodded. “Okay.”

Elias kissed him again, pressing the heel of his palm to Vito’s denim-covered groin. Vito groaned into his mouth, a hand shooting out to grip the back of Elias’s neck, pulling him closer, deeper. Elias’s free hand slid down to unbutton Vito’s jeans before he slipped a hand beneath them, caressing him through his boxer briefs instead.

Elias broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Vito’s. “I’m going to move to the floor, between your knees. Okay?”

“Yes,” Vito whispered. “Okay.”

Elias kissed him again before sliding to the floor between his legs, fingers dragging his zipper down. He tilted his head back to look up at Vito. God, he was beautiful. His curiosities, his urges, whatever the fuck he wanted to call them, had deemed men hot before. Attractive. But Elias was truly beautiful. Confident and radiant. Gorgeous. “Pants and boxers. Off in one go, or one at a time?”

“One and done.”

Elias wrapped his fingers around both waistbands, and Vito’s gaze shifted to the ceiling as he lifted his hips enough for Elias to pull them down his legs. “You’re in control.”

“I know that,” Vito said, dark eyes still locked on the ceiling.

“Put my hand where you’d usually put yours.”

Vito let himself look back down at the man, at the way he fit so perfectly between his knees, at those dark brown eyes spattered with little flecks of green behind his glasses, at his extended hand. Vito swallowed. “What?”

“When you touch yourself. Show me where you put your hand first,” Elias said, his voice soft.

Vito hated the slight shake of his hand as he grabbed Elias’s. Almost tentatively, he moved it to his cock, swallowing hard as Elias wrapped his long fingers around it. “Your hand’s so fucking warm.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Elias asked, eyes still on Vito’s face.

“Good. Very, very good.”

“Good,” Elias whispered. “Do you want to move my hand, or—”

“You.”

Elias smiled faintly. Free hand delicately tracing a tattoo on Vito’s thigh, he moved his right hand in slow, long strokes. Vito grabbed his face and kissed him, tongue pushing past his lips. Elias moaned into his mouth, his hand speeding up just enough to start tearing out a brick in one of Vito’s many, many built-up walls.

Vito grabbed his wrist again, stilling his movements. “Slow.”

Elias let out a little hum. “I prefer slow too.” Vito’s fingers still wrapped around his wrist, Elias started to move his hand again. “Slower?”

Vito shook his head, releasing him. “Perfect,” he whispered.

“Mm.” Elias pressed a kiss to his hip, to the thigh tat he’d been tracing, to the base of his cock. Vito bucked into his hand, the only permission Elias needed to drag his tongue up the length of his shaft before taking him into his mouth.

Vito’s gasp caught in his throat, nearly strangling him as he buried a hand in Elias’s loose curls. He held his head still for a moment before loosening his grip enough to encourage the man to move again. Elias moaned around him, his free hand stroking Vito’s thigh, fingers occasionally curling to dig into his skin.

“Oh, my fucking God,” Vito breathed, falling to his back on the bed, an arm draped over his face. Something about that made it feel less… embarrassing? Exposing? Fuck if Vito knew what that feeling was, but it was something. It made it feel less something.

With an artful combination of his long fingers and his warm mouth, Elias worked Vito to orgasm. When Vito’s hands had stopped shaking and his vision had evened back out, he found Elias straddling him, a little smile on his face. Vito yanked him down for a kiss. Elias laughed, a hand falling to Vito’s chest to brace himself against a fall.

When Elias broke the kiss to lean their foreheads together, Vito licked his lips, chest still rising and falling a little heavier than usual. “Do you wanna touch me?” Elias asked.

“Yes,” Vito whispered. “Yes.”

Elias started to undo the button to his jeans, but Vito stopped him to do it himself. Something to do. Something to control. Something to be in charge of. To keep the crumbling wall together, he needed that.

With the button unbuttoned and the zipper unzipped, Elias climbed off of Vito long enough to toss his jeans and boxers to the floor. Vito wrapped a hand around him almost cautiously, eyes flickering up to his face for… something. Approval? Encouragement? Confirmation?

Whatever he was looking for, he found it in the man’s eyes and began stroking him. Slow, long strokes, just as Elias had done. Elias let out a soft sound, head falling back as his fingers curled around the fabric of Vito’s shirt. Vito couldn’t help but stare. The stuttered rise and fall of his chest. The way his glasses had slid down the bridge of his nose just a hair. His slightly parted lips.

Vito pulled a foot up onto the mattress, giving himself enough leverage to flip them both over, Elias on his back. Vito fitted himself between his legs and, doing his best not to really think about it, took Elias into his mouth.

Elias’s moan was soft and more of a gasp than anything, sending heat straight back down to Vito’s groin. Elias pushed his fingers into Vito’s hair. Not to push or pull him. Not to control him. Not to adjust his speed. Simply to touch him.

Vito gagged, pulling away for air and to cough into his shoulder.

“Do you want tips, or do you wanna figure it out on your own?” Elias asked, fingers combing their way through his hair.

“Tip.”

“Breathe. In and out through your nose. You breathe through your mouth, and you’re gonna gag. It’s inevitable.” Elias twirled a strand of Vito’s hair around his fingers for a moment. “I’m guessing you’ve watched porn.”

“Who hasn’t?”

“It’s not an attack,” Elias said softly. “Ignore the porn. Deep-throating isn’t what you’re aiming for. You’re not a porn star. You’re Vitelli.”

“Could totally be a porn star.”

Elias chuckled. “Looking like that? Of course you could. But I’m not paying you, and I’m not watching you on a screen. I’m here. You’re here. You’re Vitelli. Go slow, breathe. You don’t have to move your head much. Use your hands. Use your tongue. I don’t need to be in your throat to think you’re hot. I promise.”

Vito grunted his response before taking Elias back into his mouth. Despite the dismissal, he took Elias’s advice and adjusted his pacing. His breathing. His hand. Elias pulled a leg up against his side, lower back arching off the bed. Vito glanced up at him through his eyelashes, shoving an arm beneath his back to better support him.

“Do you still want — oh, my God, Vitelli — still wanna go all the way?”

Vito lifted his head. “Yes.”

“You wanna top me?”

“Like… be inside you?”

“Yes.”

“Desperately.”

Elias smiled faintly, rolling his eyes. “You can prep me with your fingers while your mouth and other hand are… preoccupied.” He reached for the nightstand closest to the door, though he couldn’t quite reach it. “There’s a bottle of lube in that one.”

“Mm. You came prepared.”

Elias laughed as Vito pressed a kiss to his lips. “I only come out to LA every couple months. Gotta take advantage of it.”

Vito raised an eyebrow. “What, you live in some sort of straights-only neighborhood back home?”

Elias snorted. “You could say I’m in the closet.”

“Lookin’ like this? Dancing in clubs like that? Damn, babe. Coulda fooled me.” Vito couldn’t believe how naturally the petname had fallen from his lips. For women was one thing. For Elias was something entirely different. For a man was something entirely different. Vito leaned over him to open the nightstand drawer. “Whatcha in LA for?”

“Fundraiser thing.”

“Same. Dad always makes me go to his lame rich people schmoozing events.”

Elias laughed. “God, they always do, huh? Are you being schmoozed to raise money or to spend it?”

“Spend it.”

“That’s probably slightly less annoying than my position. Have to really play up the whole disabled thing so the lame rich people will donate something to ‘the cause’. No offense to present company, of course.”

“None taken.” Vito came back with the bottle of lube. “What kinda disability is that? Hot and ashamed?”

“Look who’s talking,” Elias said, playfully shoving at Vito’s chest. “Right now, it’s mostly the side effects of a bad car accident. Sometimes they have me really play up the NICU stuff after I was born prematurely, and sometimes I have to play up the scoliosis and the surgery for it. With the car accident, I get a couple good days in a row every so often. If they line up with my time in LA, you bet your ass I’m taking advantage of them.”

“Honored for my ass to be a part of your good days in a row, then.”

“Mm.” Elias pushed himself up on his elbows to kiss him. “Whenever you’re ready, Vitelli. You set the pace. You’re in control.”

Vito kissed him again before trailing kisses down his still-clothed torso. He wrapped a hand around Elias’s cock and took the head of it back into his mouth. As Elias’s hand found its way back into Vito’s hair, Vito eased a finger into him. A soft sound fell from Elias’s lips as he arched into Vito’s mouth. His brow furrowed, Vito pressed a hand to his stomach, pushing him back against the bed.

“Sorry,” Elias whispered. “Hips down. I promise.” Vito hummed around him, offering his approval at the notion as he continued to prepare the man for him.

Once he was certain he’d done a thorough enough job, confirmed by Elias’s gentle and reassuring words, he wrapped a hand around Elias’s chin and kissed him. When he pulled away, Elias waved a hand toward the nightstand again. Vito shifted enough to yank it open and grab a condom. When his shaky hands failed to open the foil, Elias laid both of his own over Vito’s.

“You’re certain this is what you want tonight?” Elias asked.

“I’m sure as fuck not quitting now.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Vito’s gaze shifted to Elias’s face. “I’m sure. My hands are just…”

“You’re nervous,” Elias filled in, the words still soft. Never judging. Never condescending. Always soft. Always understanding. “It’s okay to be. I just want to make sure you’re nervous because it’s your first time with a guy and not for some other reason.”

“No. I, y’know, I gave a handjob to a guy at summer camp a couple times. More than a couple.”

“God, hopefully someone your age.”

“Mm. My bunkmate.”

“And you liked it?”

“I think so. Long time ago. Buried it deep. Couldn’t even tell you what he looked like now. Or his name. Just… that I know it happened.”

Elias nodded, lifting a hand from Vito’s to lay it on his cheek instead. “You can stop at any time.You can take a break. You can stop entirely. Just because you open the condom doesn’t mean you have to finish it. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Which way do you want me?”

“What’s… most comfortable for you?”

“Usually on my back. But like I said, I’m having a pretty okay couple days, pain-wise. You can choose anything you want, long as you’re not expecting acrobatics.”

With all the patience Elias had given him, it felt wrong to stick with his usual position choices: whatever guaranteed his partner couldn’t look him in the eye. Vito nodded toward his face. “How well can you see without the glasses?”

Elias snorted. “Not well at all. You wanna try ‘em on and see for yourself?”

“God, no. I want sex, not nausea.”

One corner of Elias’s mouth lifted. “Fair.” A pause. “You want them off?”

“Won’t care if you’re lookin’ at me if you can’t see me.”

Elias shifted toward the head of the bed and pulled off his glasses. Folding them, he set them neatly on the nightstand. Vito tore open the condom and rolled it onto himself, tossing the foil to the floor. He tossed off his jacket and yanked his shirt over his head. He unbuttoned Elias’s shirt and pushed it down his arms. Elias pulled his hands free from the sleeves and threw it over the edge of the bed. Vito grabbed Elias’s thighs and pulled him down a few inches. He sat on his knees between Elias’s legs, eyes finally registering the scars that littered Elias’s legs and his now exposed stomach. Some definitely surgical, some definitely not.

Vito traced two fingers down one of the ones on his stomach. “Car accident?”

Elias nodded. “Kidney transplant.”

Vito raised a brow. “Should you really be drinking with that?”

“In moderation. I don’t do it much.”

“Just in the LA clubs, huh?”

Elias smiled. “Mostly.”

“Mm.” Vito wrapped a hand around himself, his other hand on Elias’s stomach, fingers splayed out beneath the scars. He eased himself into him, earning himself a beautiful little gasp as Elias tilted his head back against the pillows. Vito lowered himself across Elias, hands bracing himself on either side of Elias’s shoulders, and kissed him.

Elias moaned into his mouth, hands moving to his cheeks as Vito’s hips moved against his. He slid a hand through Vito’s hair, holding it away from his face. Vito’s lips moved to Elias’s neck as he slid an arm beneath his shoulders to hold him close. Elias whispered his name — or, the bullshit fake name he’d been given — and wrapped his legs around Vito, ankles crossed at the small of his back. “Oh, God, Vitelli. Yes. You’ve got it. Just like that.”

Vito laid a hand over Elias’s mouth, silencing him. Elias laughed against his palm, quickly followed by a muffled moan. Vito shifted, pulling his knees up beneath him just enough to allow for a deeper angle into Elias’s ass. He wanted desperately to change positions, to roll Elias onto his side or onto his hands and knees. Anything to get his legs somewhere else, his feet somewhere else, to untrap him.

“Legs,” Vito finally said through his teeth. “Uncross your ankles.”

“Sorry,” Elias mumbled against his palm. With his ankles uncrossed, Vito reached back for one leg. With it hooked over his arm to guarantee no reoffences, he lifted his hand from Elias’s mouth, claiming it with his own instead. Elias slid an arm around his shoulders. Vito did his best to fight through that one too before sitting up on his knees, hands falling to Elias’s hips as he drove himself into the man. This time, when Elias locked his ankles behind his ass, he didn’t feel trapped. He could handle it.

He slid a hand around to Elias’s cock and wrapped his fingers around it, stroking it in time with his thrusts. Elias moaned, head falling back against the pillows. If he could just get Elias through to an orgasm, if he could just get himself to one, it’d be over. The walls in his head would stop crumbling. He wouldn’t feel trapped. The darkness would stop creeping into the edges of his vision. He wouldn’t keep hearing his voice, so far off in the distance that it was barely noticeable, but it was still there.

But no matter how fucking hard he tried, he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t finish it.

He pulled out of Elias and dropped to his back on the bed, managing to stay there glaring at the ceiling for all of five seconds before bolting up to dart to the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before throwing up whatever booze was still in his system. Vito wiped his mouth with his arm and backed himself into the corner by the bathtub, knees pulled to his chest.

Elias came into the bathroom a moment later, glasses perched on his nose and his body wrapped in a fluffy robe. He closed the lid of the toilet and flushed it before sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “I told you it was okay to stop whenever you needed to. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s not… It ain’t you,” Vito said, his voice a hell of a lot thicker than he wanted it to be. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been close to tears. Or cried. When they feared his brother was going to be beaten to death on some fucked up dark web livestream? Probably.

“I know it’s not, honey,” Elias said gently. He laid a hand on the back of Vito’s head, keeping it there for a couple seconds before combing his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I totally blue-balled you.” Vito wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “You went out to the club to get laid. I shoulda let you go home with someone who could at least finish the fucking job.”

Elias shook his head. “I went out to the club to have a good time with a guy. I had a good time with you,” he said.

“You’re just sayin’ that cause I’m about ready to cry in your fucking bathroom.”

“No, I’m saying that because I had a good time with you.” Elias leaned forward enough to look Vito in the eye. “Your worth to me isn’t designated by whether you give me an orgasm or not. Your worth to me is designated by the fact that you’re a decent human being with… a lot of wars going on in his head.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“Well, it seems like right now, I know more about you than any other man does. But I also don’t think my limited knowledge of your entire life up to this moment should decide if I had a good time or not.” Silently, Vito leaned to the side, head falling against Elias’s thigh. “Do you wanna talk about what’s going on?”

“No.”

“I figured as much.” Elias cleared his throat. “How about a shower?”

“No.”

“That’s okay. Do you want to go back to the bed? No sex, just so you’re not naked and cold.”

“I like being naked.”

Elias chuckled. “That’s okay. If you’d like, you can be naked, and I’ll keep you warm.” After a moment, Vito nodded. Elias pushed himself to his feet and held out both hands. “Come on, hon. Let’s go warm you up.” Vito sniffled before grabbing them, allowing the man to pull him to his feet.


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Heads Will Roll – Chapter Twenty-Four

NOT EDITED

“The blood from the basement was definitely fresh from the father of the original killer in California, but the one from Carol Jameson’s scene came back positive for EDTA, and so did the reporter’s blood from Logan’s bedroom.”

“And… what’s that, exactly?” Jeff asked, leaned back against one of the evidence shelves, arms crossed over his chest.

“Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid. It’s an anticoagulant. The inside of the tubes used for blood draws are coated with it, and once you shake the tube well enough, it mixes with the blood to keep it from clotting in the tube,” Bo said.

After a moment, Jeff nodded. “Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Did we come back with a DNA hit too, or just the anticoagulant thing?”

“Yes. Cross-checking with the Missing Persons, we were able to identify it as belonging to Doctor Henry Sullivan, the psychologist the department assigned Rick to after the shooting,” Bo said.

“Why wasn’t that caught earlier?” Jeff asked. “These two blood spots being preserved or whatever and both belonging to someone in the database. I know Logan’s was just today, but with Carol’s scene. How was that missed?”

“Unless you know a scene is directly related to a missing persons case, running all DNA evidence against their database is generally going to be considered pointless and a waste of time and resources. It’s just not protocol right now, even if it might be beneficial in cases like this.”

Jeff pulled his ballcap off his head, looking down as he toyed with it between his hands. “So in this case, does that information get us anywhere? Because from where I’m standing, I guess it… it doesn’t really seem like it does.”

“It… tells us that the guy who killed Miss Jameson has likely killed Doctor Sullivan too. The blood in Logan’s room tells us that the guy who took him probably also killed a reporter. The blood left at the basement of the school still doesn’t tell us… anything. From a legal standpoint, we can’t necessarily connect her kidnapping to anything, and we can’t directly connect any of the currently… presented victims to each other. The DNA evidence even takes away the certainty that there are two killers instead of one. Frankly, if it weren’t for Kathy leaking information to the press and pissing off our main man, we wouldn’t be able to confirm at all now. But if that call to Rick was true, he confirmed there are two of them, and that the main guy is lying to the other one about who he is.”

Jeff seemed to take it all in for a moment before his brow furrowed. “If it was true? Are you saying Rick’s lying about it?”

Bo shook his head, but his heart had already started racing at the accusation, and his body had already tensed up in preparation for an attack.

“He’s saying the guy who called Rick could still be lying,” Dallas piped in from the doorway. When Bo’s gaze shifted in his direction, Dallas simply offered that reassuring half-smile Bo had grown so incredibly fond of over the years. “Not just to his partner in crime, but to Rick as well. It could be just another one of his little games, since he seems to be getting so much joy from them.”

“How likely do you think it is that he’s lying?” Jeff asked.

“Given his sudden escalation of taking the kid before he’s displayed all the bodies we think he’s got stored up?” Dallas asked. “Pretty likely it’s not a bluff. But the man’s clearly about a million kinds of unstable and unpredictable, so I don’t really think we should put our eggs in any one basket.” He cleared his throat. “But right now, if we assume it’s not a bluff and that everything we’ve been given by the man himself is true, then it seems like the only real thing we can do now is wait for the call he said he’d make, right? That’s what the blood on the wall said?”

“Right,” Jeff said with a little nod. He checked his watch. “I spoke to Rick and Heidi less than an hour ago. They hadn’t heard anything, and Rick promised he’d call if that changed.”

“Call,” Dallas echoed, closing his eyes briefly as he moved a hand to his temple. “So he’s not at the station?”

“They’re at Heidi’s mom’s place with the rest of the kids.”

“We should check his desk phone, just to be safe,” Dallas said.

“I can access his voicemail,” Jeff said.

“Great. You two go on ahead. We’ll catch up.”

Bridget caught Bo’s eye only long enough to confirm he was fine with that plan before turning to follow Jeff out of the room.

“I’m going to sit this one out,” Dallas said once they were alone.

“Sit out… checking Rick’s phone for a voicemail?” Bo asked.

“No. Sorry. Uh, after Jeff is done checking it, I have a feeling that you guys are gonna need to go somewhere. And when you do, I’m… going to stay here. Or, not here here, but in my car. By myself.”

“Wow,” Bo whispered. “What does it say to you?”

“What?”

“I’ve known you more than long enouhg to know this is that thing,” Bo said. “If what it says to you is bad enough to make you sit out the next portion of a case, especially a case you flew over a thousand miles to be part of?”

“I didn’t fly here for the case, I flew here for you because Bridget asked me to. That has nothing to do with what it says or doesn’t say. I came here to help my best friend with something, and I did that, and if this voicemail doesn’t pan out, I’ll do it some more. But I need some time away from everyone else until then. Okay?”

“Whatever it tells you, Dallas, I-I’m here to listen. I can help you. Y-you just have to let me help you.”

“I do not need help. I don’t need your help, Bo. You talking one crazy woman down from the ledge doesn’t mean you have some… some profound responsibility to help every Joe Blow that hears fucking voices, okay?” Bo took an involuntary step back, one hand moving to fiddle with the latch of his watch. Dallas stepped forward, both hands held up. “I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean to… to raise my voice. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Bo whispered, shaking his head. “I-it’s not your fault my body takes any sort o-of loud voice as a personal attack.”

“Except for this one was a personal attack, and I’m sorry for that. Truly.”

“I know better than to keep bothering you about it. That’s… that’s completely on me, Dallas. I just need a-a moment to breathe, is all.”

“I’ll wait here with you, okay?”

Bo offered a nod rather than any further verbal response. Motions were always easier than words when his heart was thundering in his chest and echoing in his ears. Panic attack, meltdown, shutdown — it didn’t really matter what it was. What did matter was Dallas supporting him through it for the millionth time, even after Bo had poked and prodded him into explosion.

Upstairs, Jeff entered the four-digit code to access Rick’s voicemail. It wasn’t often that anyone in the small town left voicemails on the office phones rather than with the receptionist or on their cell phones. The robotic, “You have one new message,” made Jeff’s stomach drop as he lowered himself into Rick’s chair.

“Rick. I guess I missed you. And here I thought you’d be waiting by the phone, sitting on the edge of your seat, hoping I really would call about your sweet little boy. Well, I’ll do my best to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ll call your cell again. But if you don’t answer that one, I’m afraid you’ll never see your little boy again. At least, not with his head attached.”

“Oh, my God,” Bridget whispered.

“What?”

“His voice. That’s the fucking bus driver.”


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**A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay! No matter what I did or how I rewrote it, the characters and I were deadlocked with a complete standstill. I probably rewrote certain parts of this chapter over twenty times before finally getting to the point where I could call it complete and post it. Hopefully you won’t have to wait nearly as long for the next one, but I appreciate your patience so much in waiting for this one


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Heads Will Roll – Chapter Twenty-Three

NOT EDITED

Bonnie lifted her head as a door opened and closed upstairs. The footsteps overhead were heavier than usual. She heard him grumble something to himself before the door to the basement opened. He was carrying something. Someone. He was about halfway down the stairs when the light from the windows lit the child’s face well enough for Bonnie to identify him.

“No. No. Whatever the hell you think Rick has done, it can’t be enough to justify this. It can’t.”

Still wearing the mask that kept her from identifying much more than his eyes, he rolled them. “Your future father-in-law murdered my son. I think it’s about time someone did the same to him.”

“He’s a little boy! He’s four years old!”

“You’re right. Rick’s eldest boy is much closer in age to mine,” he said as he set Logan’s unconscious body on the basement floor. “But I know this one is… a bit more of the favorite, wouldn’t you say?”

Bonnie couldn’t bring herself to respond as the man tugged Logan’s arms behind his back and attempted to handcuff them around the support pillar across from Bonnie. His arms were far too short for the handcuffs to work. He sighed, dragging Logan by his wrists over to the wall instead, where he cuffed the boy to a PVC pipe.

If he were older, they could use that to their advantage once he was conscious. “You chose Logan because you think he’s the favorite, or because you’re scared you wouldn’t be able to mange Pete’s strength?”

He snorted. “I could handle him just fine, Bonnie, I assure you.” He tugged at Logan’s handcuffs and the pipe, just to make sure they were strong enough. Unfortunately for Bonnie and Logan, they held up just fine to the strength of the man. Even if Logan happened to be the strongest four-year-old in the world, they were shit out of luck.

“Why did Rick kill your son?” Bonnie asked.

“I don’t think that matters.”

“Rick’s a cop, so I think it matters a lot.”

“Luckily for us, it doesn’t matter what you think.”

“I-I could help.”

He stilled on his way up the stairs. He took two steps back down, squatting to look at Bonnie through the bannister. “Help with what?”

“Putting Rick in prison for what he did.”

He chuckled. “I don’t want Rick in prison, Bonnie. I want Rick to suffer.” He nodded toward Logan. “His suffering is right there.”

“If that’s really what it was all about, why kill Miss Jameson?” Bonnie asked.

“She had nothing to do with Rick. I already told you she was punished for your crimes, Bonnie. I told you to be quiet when I left, and you weren’t. I needed you to know I meant it. Carol was simply unlucky enough to be a neighbor who was home at the same time you were running your mouth, is all. If she hadn’t been home, she’d be alive. If you had followed the rules, she would be alive. She doesn’t teach Rick anything, but she sure taught you something, no?”

When Bonnie didn’t respond, he continued up the stairs, closing the door behind him.

***

“What’re you thinking?”

Bo lifted his head just long enough to meet Bridget’s eyes. “That you’re right and I should call Dallas.”

“I can do it, if you’d prefer.”

Bo shook his head. “I think you’re right about… all of it. That Baker didn’t talk to him. I just need to get that through my head.”

Bridget nodded, shoving her hands into her pockets as her eyes scanned Logan’s bedroom. “Have you tested the blood on the wall?”

“It came back male, but it doesn’t match the blood from Carol’s house or the blood from the school basement.”

“Do you think it’s his?”

“I’m not quite sure what I think, if you want me to be wholly honest. But a quick DNA swab from Rick or Heidi will tell us for sure.” Bo photographed a hair from the windowsill before picking it up with a pair of tweezers and placing it in an evidence bag. “What’d you find out from the kids?”

“Not much. Heidi texted Jennifer to let her know Rick was asleep and that they wouldn’t be home unless the kids needed something. And that time, Logan and Nickie were both already asleep. Jennifer says she went to bed around eleven, and Pete says he laid down around midnight but probably didn’t fall asleep until around one or two. Nickie and Logan currently share a room, but she came into Jen’s room around three. Logan was still in bed at that point.”

“Why’d she go into Jen’s room?” Bo asked.

“She couldn’t remember for sure, but she thought she maybe had a nightmare.”

“Or she heard something outside that startled her awake, made her mind think she had a nightmare.”

Bridget let out a breath. “Do you… think that’s likely? That he was outside and she heard him?”

“I don’t know, but I think it’s probably a good thing she got up and went to her sister’s room.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “We, umm, we talked to Rick and Heidi. Rick said he woke up to a phone call this morning. Did he tell you about that?”

“I knew he had received a message. In what form that came in, I didn’t know. He just told me we needed to go now, and I did. But it was a phone call?” Bo asked.

She nodded. “Yeah. Apparently, there’s a newspaper article about this case.”

Bo’s hands stilled for a moment. “Baker?”

“Yep.”

“What’d she say?”

“That there are two of them. That one of them is the father of the kid Rick killed. That this is some sort of revenge case against him.”

“Is that why he called Rick?” Bo asked.

“Seems like it. He told Rick that the article causes problems for him because if his partner sees it, the partner will know who he actually is,” Bridget said.

“Which means that his partner doesn’t know he’s the original killer’s father.”

“Bingo.”

“Huh.”

“Well, that’s open-ended. What kinda gears did that start turning for you?” Bridget asked.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of person would work with the father of a serial killer. The only thing I could really come up with is that he must have another child. But if the partner doesn’t know who he actually is, it could be anybody. Like, say… the father or brother of one of the murdered kids.”

“Jesus.”

“I know.”

“Do you really think they’d do something like this? At least the guy who fathered a crazy piece of shit also being a crazy piece of shit makes sense.”

“Trauma does things to a person. What it’s going to do to each individual is hard to say. But if we assume that this is what trauma turned one of them into, I can’t think of a better person to want the same type of revenge that our main man wants.”

“Do you know if Jamal sent you the original case file?” Bridget asked.

“I’m sure he did, but I haven’t had time to check my email. Phone’s in my camera case, outside pocket.”

Bridget walked across the room and grabbed Bo’s phone. “I’ll write down a list of all the family members of the victims, and I’ll get to work on finding out where the hell our ‘main man’ is living these days. I’ll have Jeff take me back to the station and then he’ll come back here to wait for you, okay?”

“Okay. Keep us posted.”

“Will do, B.”

***

When Bo finally came out of Logan’s bedroom, rather than Jeff, he found Dallas Silver in the Downs’s kitchen. Bo hated the little stutter of his heart, the tightness in his chest. The idea that Dallas secretly hated him had always been there — it was always there for any person in his life — and Kathy had played right into that insecurity with such precision that he still couldn’t quite convince himself she had been lying, no matter how much he tried to.

“Hey, Shorty.” Dallas pushed himself to his feet. “Was initially a little concerned when you called me and it was Decker on the other end. Had me all worried you went and got yourself stabbed or something.”

Bo offered a smile. “I’m sorry about that. She was supposed to be going through case files.”

Dallas chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m told she did both.” His usual effortlessly charming expression shifted to something softer, which Bo had seen more times than he could count. “She didn’t want to go into too many details other than… confirming I didn’t talk to Baker?” he questioned. “Like, Kathy Baker?”

“Yes.”

“The same detective that totally fucked you by leaking important case details to the press?”

One corner of Bo’s mouth lifted. Yeah, Bridget was right. It was insane to assume there was any world in which Dallas would have turned on Bo to anyone, but especially to Kathy. “The one and only.”

“I think the only interaction I’ve ever had with the woman was her shoving me out of the way after a defense attorney basically decimated her on the stand.”

Bo chuckled softly. “That sounds about right.”

“Did she say something to you? Make you think I talked to her?”

Bo shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, but… but I know you didn’t. I just let her get into my head.”

“I don’t think you ‘let’ her do anything. Don’t shift the blame for whatever happened onto yourself. You’ve got enough shit on your shoulders without all that,” Dallas said. He gave Bo’s shoulder a tight squeeze. “Bridget, uh, said this is one of the deputy’s house?”

“Yeah. Rick Downs. Did she tell you this case is related to an older case in LA?”

“A little.”

Bo nodded. “Well, Rick worked the one in LA and ended up shooting and killing the kid responsible for the kidnappings and homicides. That kid’s father has decided that just about everyone involved, directly or otherwise, deserves to die. This is all just one big game now to screw with Rick before he kills him. With Baker’s very helpful interview, he’s decided to speed up the process, and he took one of Rick’s kids this morning.”

“Jesus. You… think he’s alive?” Dallas asked.

“Right now? Yes. I’m pretty sure he’d already be on the lake if he were dead. But how long we have before we aren’t looking for a living boy? I don’t know. The killer called Rick before we all rushed here. I don’t know all the details of that call yet, but I have a feeling it’ll give us a bit of a better timeline for… for how long we have,” Bo said.

Dallas nodded. “Bridget said you guys were hoping I could put my ‘weird killer spidey senses’ to use?”

Bo snorted. “Well, I didn’t call it that, but I do believe you have an uncanny ability to get into their minds.”

The movement of Dallas’s head was almost imperceptable, nothing but a slight tilt to the right and then the left, like he considered saying something but changed his mind before the thought had even fully formed. Instead, he cleared his throat. “Can I see the room?”

Bo nodded, setting his camera bag on the floor before heading back toward Logan’s bedroom. He stopped at the doorway and gestured inside. Dallas stepped into the room, hand reaching for the light switch but stopping a breath from it. “You can touch whatever you want. I have everything I need,” Bo said.

“Always reading my mind, Shorty.” Dallas flipped on the light. He walked toward the bloody message on the wall. “Has there been any word on this yet?”

“Not that I’m aware of, but Bridge still has my phone.”

“Shit, sorry. She made me swing by the station to grab it for you.” He pulled it from his suit pocket and held it back to Bo, eyes still on the wall. Bo crossed the room long enough to grab it, promptly tucking it into his pocket. Dallas dragged his fingers beneath the message. “I don’t think it’s the kid’s blood.”

“I had my doubts about it being his too.”

“What’d you get when you ran it?”

“It came up human and male. I won’t know if it’s his until I swab Rick or Heidi to compare it against.”

“Jamal gave me a basic rundown on things, in addition to what Bridget told me.”

“Mmhmm?”

“How many missing people do you still have? The ones that were involved in the LA case.”

“That I know of? Six. We’ve found Sherman’s body,” Bo said.

“He’s left blood at every scene. Do you think it could be one of theirs?”

“I didn’t run it against the missing persons database.”

“I know it sounds crazy, but I think you should.”

Bo shook his head, already pulling his cell phone from his pocket. “If I suggested it, you wouldn’t call me crazy.”

“Your conclusion would have evidence that led you to it. You know where mine came from.”

“I do, and I also know it’s usually right.”

Still facing the wall, Dallas tilted his head to the side for a moment before offering a shrug. “Maybe. I’m not sure it justifies trusting it.”

“It does for me.”

Dallas remained silent, head tilting again, his shoulders so tense Bo could see it through his suit jacket. It was something about the man that Bo had noticed frequently over the years — the pauses and delayed responses, the tense tilt of his head. When he was facing Bo, his eyes would usually close too, his brow furrowing. Bo had always wondered if it had something to do with that voice in his head, but he had never dared to ask. Now with Kathy in his head, he couldn’t help but wonder if it actually had something to do with Dallas being so incredibly uncomfortable in a room alone with him.

“It’s the one damn thing it’s good for.”

“Hmm?”

“The… the thing?” Dallas asked. “This kind of stuff is the only benefit of it. It’s a… a real fucking bastard outside of this.”

Bo brought up the DNA database on his phone. “What else does it talk about with you?”

Dallas chuckled, shaking his head. “You don’t wanna know, Shorty.”

“I could help you, you know. Whatever it is, I could probably help.”

Dallas looked back at him over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. “You don’t think you’ve got enough going on?”

“I always have a case. The location of it doesn’t change how busy I am.”

“When you’re the absolute only lab geek and working out of the corner of an evidence room? It does, just a little.”

“Rude.”

Dallas snorted, turning back to the wall. “Your thingie tell you anything about the blood?”

“It’s loading. My connection’s in and out. Jeff says that’s pretty common out here when it’s windy or approaching a snowstorm.”

“You grew up around here, didn’t you?”

“Sort of. Illinois.”

“This the closest you been to going back home since you left for college?” Dallas asked.

Bo glanced up at him as he walked over to the window, fingers dragging along the wall. “More or less.”

“Ever miss being in the Midwest instead of LA?”

“I never really felt a connection to it. The Midwest, I mean. Nowhere really felt like home.”

“That’s not still the case, is it?”

Though Dallas wasn’t looking at him, Bo shook his head. “LA is home. You and Xavier and Bridget. You’re home.”

“Good,” Dallas said, his voice soft. He stood in front of the window, fingers pressed to the glass. “I think both of them were here. One came in through the window and grabbed the boy, passed him to the one still standing outside. The one in here wrote the message with blood, but I… I don’t know. Not the boy’s.”

Bo looked down at his phone as it dinged with a match. “Jupiter.”

Dallas turned to phase him. “Mm? Not the boy’s then.”

“One of the reporters,” Bo said. “Jesus Christ. Let’s get back to the station. I need to check all the blood left behind.”

“For?” Dallas asked as he followed Bo out of the bedroom.

“Well, for starters, I need to run the one from Carol Jameson’s house against missing persons. After that, I’m going to check all three blood samples for proteins. Like the ones we use to preserve blood for evidence storage. If he’s been collecting their blood before he kills them, he could be leaving their blood as little ‘clues’ for Rick. He thinks he’s so damn clever that… that it wouldn’t surprise me if all of it’s bullshit.”

“But he confirmed to Rick that he’s the father of the asshole in LA.”

“He confirmed that’s what he wants us to think, yes,” Bo said. “Until I confirm that blood is fresh? I’m taking that phone call with a grain of salt.” He grabbed his camera bag and lifted the strap over his head. “Did you drive here, then?”

“Yeah, Jamal said neither of you guys had a rental and were depending on the deputies. Figured I’d give us at least one vehicle between us.”

“You’re a genius, Silver.”

Dallas snorted. “Don’t know if I’d call it that.” He squeezed Bo’s shoulder. “Let’s go see which ‘facts’ are real and which are fucking bullshit.”


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Heads Will Roll – Chapter Twenty-Two

NOT EDITED

Rick woke to Heidi standing up from the couch first, his cell ringing in his pocket second. Eyes still closed, he fished his phone out of his pocket, swiped his finger across the bottom of the screen, and pressed the device to his ear. “Downs.”

“Hello, Rick.”

“Who is this?”

“Who do you think?”

Rick opened his eyes as he sat up on the couch. “Keep everybody else out of this. This is between you and me. I killed him. Not Sherman. Not the other cops. Not the psychologist. Not the reporters. Not Bonnie. Not Carol. Me.”

Heidi turned to look at him, her brow furrowed.

“Ah, so the morning paper was right. You do know.”

Now Rick’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“Oh, you didn’t know about the little story that Baker bitch spun for the media when she got back to LA? You should read it. It’s a real sizzler of a tale.”

Rick turned his phone to the side, pressing the microphone against his cheek to muffle his end of the call. “Could you go out and get me a newspaper?”

“Which one?” Heidi asked.

“I-I have a feeling you’ll know. Look for Baker’s name on the front page.”

She let out a harsh breath, but she nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

“Your friend’s article is going to cause some real problems for me, Rick.”

“Kidnapping teenagers and murdering people is what’s going to cause you problems, and you know it.”

The man chuckled. “No, prison isn’t a ‘problem’. I’ve always known that’s the end of the journey, and I’m okay with that, long as I get to finish the job out here first, and I still intend to do that. But with that move your friend pulled? It’s going to… ruffle some feathers when my so-called partner sees it and finds out who I am.”

“Who does he think you are?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Look—”

“No, Rick, you look. Your friend’s little article means I’m going to need to speed up the timeline of things, you know? And, well, that ruins a couple things for me. This phone call here is the closest I’m going to get to what I want. I’ll just have to listen to it instead of see it.”

“Listen to…? What are you talking about?”

“You got to see my face when I found out you had murdered my son. I want to see the same. I wanted to draw it out. I wanted to see your face for every step of it, Rick. Every single step. But right now, listening will have to suffice. Hearing the stutter of your breath when I ask it. Hearing the silent panic as you stand up and hurry out of the hospital.” A pause. “While you and Heidi were asleep there at the clinic, did anyone think to check on your children?”

***

Jeff and Bridget made it to the Downs’s house first. “Please tell me they’re okay,” Rick said before he’d even climbed out of the car. Jeff stopped him from going inside with a hand on his chest. “Jeff, please,” Rick whispered.

“Bridget’s inside talking… to your eldest three,” Jeff said, his voice quiet. “Logan’s not inside.” Jeff caught him as he fell to his knees. “I know. I know, Rick. We’re gonna find your boy. We’re gonna find him. But right now, I need you and Heidi to stay out here while I take Bo back to Logan’s room so he can take a look around. Okay?”

Rick nodded, hands wrapped tightly around Jeff’s forearms. “This is all my fault, Jeff. If anything happens—”

“Rick, you listen to me. You are not in control of what a crazed monster does. We’re not gonna let anything happen to Logan. But I need to take Bo inside. Heidi’s crying in the car. Go sit with her. Okay?”

“Okay,” Rick whispered.

Jeff helped Rick to his feet and nodded at Bo, gesturing for the blonde to follow him. Bo adjusted the strap of his camera bag as he followed Jeff up to the house. “The front door was locked when Bridget and I got here. I’ve got a key, so… so we went in, and I started calling out their names. Pete came out first, in his PJs, tired. Clearly woke him up. Jenny came out with Nickie basically still asleep on her hip. When Logan didn’t come out, Pete said he’d go get him, but I-I made him stay here in the foyer. Thank God I did.”

“Peter and Jennifer are the only kids that were in LA. How old are Nickie and Logan?” Bo asked.

“Nick’s, uh… seven, I think. God, that’s terrible that I don’t know that.”

“It’s not. I’m sure you do know it, but you’re in shock, Jeff. Just because they’re Rick’s kids doesn’t mean they aren’t important to you too.”

Jeff forced himself to nod. “Logan’s only four.”

“What’s his room look like?”

“Not great,” Jeff whispered.

“Okay.” Bo laid a hand on Jeff’s arm and gave it a squeeze that he hoped was comforting. “You don’t have to go in it again. I’ve got it. How about you go help Bridget question the kids, since they know you? Help them get back to their parents faster.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He let out a breath, running a hand under his eye. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen if… Rick loves all his kids, his family, but that boy is so incredibly special to him.”

“Right now, I’ll focus on the evidence, and you focus on the kids in the living room. We’ll figure out the rest later, I promise,” Bo said.

“Thank you, Bo.”

“Of course, Deputy.”

Jeff took one last look at the closed door to Logan’s room, squeezed Bo’s shoulder, and made his way back to the living room. Bo waited until the man was well out of sight before pulling on a pair of gloves and opening the door.

The window was open. Not broken — simply open. I’LL CALL was written on the wall in what Bo could only assume was blood. For now, assuming it wasn’t Logan’s was far more productive than assuming that it was. If it were Logan’s blood, it was a survivable loss, but write out a message in the boy’s blood in such clean, unhurried letters meant he would have had to be unconscious. Bo didn’t really want to imagine the way these men would have knocked out a four-year-old autistic boy.

Bloody wall message aside, the room was in good condition. Nothing was knocked over. The bed wasn’t made, but the covers had simply been tossed back toward the foot of the bed rather than ripped off and thrown to the floor and balled up in a tangled mess from a struggle. There was blood in the bed, but not on the floor or the window.

Though Logan obviously wasn’t ‘in on’ his kidnapping, it still felt almost staged. He knew Heidi and Rick weren’t involved in a staged kidnapping, but what their killers gained from staging the room was far beyond Bo’s understanding of their minds.

Maybe Bridget was right. Maybe he needed to call Dallas.


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