This is a mafia romance. This book features heavy themes, including: drug use, abuse and addiction; murder; references to childhood SA (NO scenes depicting it, only references to it)
I am actively still writing this book. If I become aware of more themes that should be disclosed, I’ll add them here as I go
NOT EDITED
Vito had had… urges for a while. Not for the first time, he sat in the parking lot of a gay nightclub in California, just far enough away from Los Angeles that his brother wouldn’t be able to track him down and find out about said urges. Before he could talk himself out of it yet again, Vito climbed out of the truck, locked it, and headed inside. As he downed his first beer of the night — first one at the bar, anyway — his dark eyes scanned the nightclub. The dance floor was packed, some of the men barely a step away from full-blown sex right there in the open for anyone to see.
His gaze settled on a black man in a light blue denim button-up and dark skinny jeans. He was alone. Maybe that had been what had caught Vito’s eye first. Or the incredibly seductive body rolls he was managing without spilling a single damn drop of his drink.
Through the thumping bass and the strobe lights, the stranger’s eyes met Vito’s. He beckoned him with two fingers. A smile tugged at one corner of Vito’s lips, but he shook his head. He was pretty sure the stranger mouthed something like, “Boo”, before going back to his own little world of sex appeal, one hand burying itself in his hair.
Vito let out a breath and downed the rest of his beer before ordering another. Halfway through the second one, he waded his way through the sweaty crowd, eyes focused on the stranger. If he was finally going to commit to his curiosities, the curiosity might as well be hot.
Vito settled himself behind the guy, closing his eyes for a moment as the man threw an arm around the back of his neck, ass rubbing against him in all the wrong — or… right — ways as he moved his hips. “That offer to come here and dance still on the table, then?” Vito asked, lips pressed to the shell of his ear.
“For you? Absolutely.”
Vito hummed his approval before taking another sip of his beer. He wasn’t sure he had pregamed hard enough to fully go through with this, but he was going to try. One and done. Get it out of his system. Not have to think about it anymore. Go back to only having to think about women.
“Can’t believe you’ve managed not to draw a whole crowd ‘round you, movin’ like that,” Vito said.
The guy chuckled. “Maybe no one else is brave enough to dance with me,” he said, head tilted back against Vito’s shoulder, lips close enough to his ear that he could make out most of the words over the music. “You got what it takes to be brave, handsome?”
Vito had danced with dozens of women. Hundreds was probably more accurate. It wasn’t like he kept count. If he just didn’t think about it, he’d be fine. “I do.”
“Mm. We’ll see about that.” He patted Vito’s cheek before sliding down against him, sinking to the lowest squat Vito’d ever seen before coming back up, his back pressed tightly to Vito’s chest, ass pressed to a spot just beneath his groin. Vito swallowed roughly, laying a hand on his stomach as he did everything he could not to really focus on it and simply move with him. With his hips, with his shoulders.
It was impossible not to think about it.
“I-I’ve never really done this before,” Vito said. He hadn’t really meant to say it outloud, but there it was.
The guy stilled for the briefest of moments. Vito wasn’t even sure it had actually happened. “Danced with a man?”
“Yes.”
He turned in Vito’s arms, fingers splayed out across his chest instead, dark eyes locked on Vito’s. “That’s okay. If you can learn, I can teach.”
“I… I can learn.”
He smiled. “Perfect.” His fingers brushed across Vito’s cheek as he tucked his dark hair back behind his ear. “I’ve got you. Just follow my lead.”
***
By the end of the night, Vito was comfortable with every above-the-belt part of the man’s body, so much so that when he’d asked if Vito wanted to get out of the club, he had nodded without hesitation and allowed the man to lead him through the tightly packed dance floor, out to the parking lot, and down the block to a hotel. The man passed his keycard through the lock and opened the door. Once he’d stepped inside and flipped on the light, he turned to face Vito, holding out a hand. “Coming?”
Vito stared at his outstretched hand for a moment. The nightclub stamp on the back of it. His long, almost elegant fingers. Vito swallowed before grabbing his hand and stepping into the room. The man reached past him to close the door before gently pushing Vito back against it, hands sliding up to his chest.
“I’d like to wager a guess that dancing with a man isn’t the only thing you’re doing for the first time tonight. Right?” he asked.
Vito shook his head. “No.”
“I thought so.” He cleared his throat, the fingers of one hand toying with the zipper of Vito’s leather jacket. “What are you hoping to get from the night?”
“Sex. What the hell other option is there?”
The man smiled rather than laugh at him. “Kissing. Cuddling. Watching a movie. More dancing. Touching. Don’t push yourself too far outside your comfort zone in one night, you know?”
Vito shook his head. “One and done. Get it out of my system.”
“Oh, honey,” he whispered.
Vito pushed his hands off his chest and walked past him. “I don’t need that. I’m not in the closet. I’m not gay. I’m just… curious.”
“You know straight and gay aren’t the only two options, right?” he asked, turning to face Vito. “Sexuality is a spectrum. You can be gay or straight or anything in between. It isn’t cut and dry. You don’t have to only like women or only like men. It’s okay to want both.”
Vito shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s not.”
The man crossed the room, hands tucked neatly into his pockets. “If you truly believed that, deep down, would you have made it this far tonight?”
Vito offered a shrug. “I dunno.”
“I don’t think you would have. Not without insulting me or the men around us for being gay.”
“I’m not homophobic. My uncles are gay. My boss is gay. But I’m not. That’s got nothing to do with you or the other guys around us. I ain’t gonna take it out on them. Or you.”
“Mm.” He pulled a hand from his pocket, fingers brushing Vito’s temple as he tucked his dark hair back behind his ear. “My name’s Elias.”
“Vitelli.” It felt weird, giving a man the fake name. It was always a woman he gave one to. Guess there’s a first time for everything.
“Vitelli,” Elias repeated. “Sounds like a strong name.”
“That’s ‘cause it’s attached to me.”
Elias chuckled. “I’m sure that’s why,” he said, his voice soft. “What do you want me to do, Vitelli?”
“One and done,” Vito reminded. “So… show me one hell of a good time?”
“I can do that.” He laid both hands on either side of Vito’s face, tilting his head back ever so slightly. “You can stop any action at any time. Okay?”
“ ‘Kay.”
“Can I kiss you?”
Vito swallowed roughly before nodding.
“Can you say it?”
“Kiss me. Please.”
Elias leaned down and pressed his lips to Vito’s. Vito closed his eyes, one hand finding its way up Elias’s back, the other gripping Elias’s forearm so tight, he was vaguely concerned he’d break the damn thing. But Elias didn’t seem to mind. Vito pressed his tongue to Elias’s lips, begging for access that Elias so graciously granted him. Vito’s hand had just made it under Elias’s shirt when the man climbed onto his lap, arms wrapping themselves loosely around his neck instead. Vito groaned, grinding up against Elias just enough to draw a gentle little laugh from Elias’s lips.
“Patience, handsome. Gotta get you warmed up first.”
“I’m plenty warm,” Vito said.
Elias smiled. “Yeah, I can feel that. But we don’t want to go too fast and scare you away before you’ve had a good time, do we?”
Vito searched his face for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”
“Didn’t think so.” Elias wrapped a hand around Vito’s chin and pressed a kiss to his lips. Soft and quick. Not necessarily in a hurry, but certainly not agonizingly slow or lingering. Elias’s lips moved to Vito’s neck and shoulder, a hand slowly trailing down his abdomen. Vito swallowed, doing his best to keep himself under control, to keep his many walls from cracking, but he couldn’t. He grabbed Elias’s wrist as soon as his fingers brushed against his groin. Elias pulled back ever so slightly. “Too fast?”
“No. I just… I don’t let…” Vito cleared his throat. “I don’t let anyone do that.”
“Touch you?”
“Touching me is fine. Just not my dick.”
Elias pulled away entirely, leaning back on Vito’s lap as he threaded the fingers of his free hand through the hair at the base of Vito’s neck, his other hand still trapped by Vito’s grip around his wrist. “Would you prefer to touch mine?”
“I don’t… I don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” Elias said, his voice soft. Non-judgemental. “Are you worried me touching you that way makes you too gay?”
“I don’t let anyone do it,” Vito repeated. “Anyone.”
“A blowjob virgin.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Elias’s brow furrowed, like he was trying to untangle all of Vito’s feelings, the ones he’d said aloud and the ones he hadn’t. Something changed in his eyes, and his expression softened. “Oh.”
“Don’t. I didn’t fuckin’ say anything. Don’t.”
“It’s okay,” Elias said softly. He leaned forward and kissed the corner of Vito’s mouth, his cheek, his jawline. “Tell me what you want me to do. You’re in control of this, Vitelli. Of me. Not the other way around.”
God, did he like the sound of that. Vito released his grip on Elias’s wrist. “Try.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“We can skip the touching, if you want. I find it a little less fun to jump into fullblown sex, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.”
“I said I was sure.”
“I want you to know your options.”
“Try.”
“You can stop me at any time.”
Vito nodded. “Okay.”
Elias kissed him again, pressing the heel of his palm to Vito’s denim-covered groin. Vito groaned into his mouth, a hand shooting out to grip the back of Elias’s neck, pulling him closer, deeper. Elias’s free hand slid down to unbutton Vito’s jeans before he slipped a hand beneath them, caressing him through his boxer briefs instead.
Elias broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Vito’s. “I’m going to move to the floor, between your knees. Okay?”
“Yes,” Vito whispered. “Okay.”
Elias kissed him again before sliding to the floor between his legs, fingers dragging his zipper down. He tilted his head back to look up at Vito. God, he was beautiful. His curiosities, his urges, whatever the fuck he wanted to call them, had deemed men hot before. Attractive. But Elias was truly beautiful. Confident and radiant. Gorgeous. “Pants and boxers. Off in one go, or one at a time?”
“One and done.”
Elias wrapped his fingers around both waistbands, and Vito’s gaze shifted to the ceiling as he lifted his hips enough for Elias to pull them down his legs. “You’re in control.”
“I know that,” Vito said, dark eyes still locked on the ceiling.
“Put my hand where you’d usually put yours.”
Vito let himself look back down at the man, at the way he fit so perfectly between his knees, at those dark brown eyes spattered with little flecks of green behind his glasses, at his extended hand. Vito swallowed. “What?”
“When you touch yourself. Show me where you put your hand first,” Elias said, his voice soft.
Vito hated the slight shake of his hand as he grabbed Elias’s. Almost tentatively, he moved it to his cock, swallowing hard as Elias wrapped his long fingers around it. “Your hand’s so fucking warm.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Elias asked, eyes still on Vito’s face.
“Good. Very, very good.”
“Good,” Elias whispered. “Do you want to move my hand, or—”
“You.”
Elias smiled faintly. Free hand delicately tracing a tattoo on Vito’s thigh, he moved his right hand in slow, long strokes. Vito grabbed his face and kissed him, tongue pushing past his lips. Elias moaned into his mouth, his hand speeding up just enough to start tearing out a brick in one of Vito’s many, many built-up walls.
Vito grabbed his wrist again, stilling his movements. “Slow.”
Elias let out a little hum. “I prefer slow too.” Vito’s fingers still wrapped around his wrist, Elias started to move his hand again. “Slower?”
Vito shook his head, releasing him. “Perfect,” he whispered.
“Mm.” Elias pressed a kiss to his hip, to the thigh tat he’d been tracing, to the base of his cock. Vito bucked into his hand, the only permission Elias needed to drag his tongue up the length of his shaft before taking him into his mouth.
Vito’s gasp caught in his throat, nearly strangling him as he buried a hand in Elias’s loose curls. He held his head still for a moment before loosening his grip enough to encourage the man to move again. Elias moaned around him, his free hand stroking Vito’s thigh, fingers occasionally curling to dig into his skin.
“Oh, my fucking God,” Vito breathed, falling to his back on the bed, an arm draped over his face. Something about that made it feel less… embarrassing? Exposing? Fuck if Vito knew what that feeling was, but it was something. It made it feel less something.
With an artful combination of his long fingers and his warm mouth, Elias worked Vito to orgasm. When Vito’s hands had stopped shaking and his vision had evened back out, he found Elias straddling him, a little smile on his face. Vito yanked him down for a kiss. Elias laughed, a hand falling to Vito’s chest to brace himself against a fall.
When Elias broke the kiss to lean their foreheads together, Vito licked his lips, chest still rising and falling a little heavier than usual. “Do you wanna touch me?” Elias asked.
“Yes,” Vito whispered. “Yes.”
Elias started to undo the button to his jeans, but Vito stopped him to do it himself. Something to do. Something to control. Something to be in charge of. To keep the crumbling wall together, he needed that.
With the button unbuttoned and the zipper unzipped, Elias climbed off of Vito long enough to toss his jeans and boxers to the floor. Vito wrapped a hand around him almost cautiously, eyes flickering up to his face for… something. Approval? Encouragement? Confirmation?
Whatever he was looking for, he found it in the man’s eyes and began stroking him. Slow, long strokes, just as Elias had done. Elias let out a soft sound, head falling back as his fingers curled around the fabric of Vito’s shirt. Vito couldn’t help but stare. The stuttered rise and fall of his chest. The way his glasses had slid down the bridge of his nose just a hair. His slightly parted lips.
Vito pulled a foot up onto the mattress, giving himself enough leverage to flip them both over, Elias on his back. Vito fitted himself between his legs and, doing his best not to really think about it, took Elias into his mouth.
Elias’s moan was soft and more of a gasp than anything, sending heat straight back down to Vito’s groin. Elias pushed his fingers into Vito’s hair. Not to push or pull him. Not to control him. Not to adjust his speed. Simply to touch him.
Vito gagged, pulling away for air and to cough into his shoulder.
“Do you want tips, or do you wanna figure it out on your own?” Elias asked, fingers combing their way through his hair.
“Tip.”
“Breathe. In and out through your nose. You breathe through your mouth, and you’re gonna gag. It’s inevitable.” Elias twirled a strand of Vito’s hair around his fingers for a moment. “I’m guessing you’ve watched porn.”
“Who hasn’t?”
“It’s not an attack,” Elias said softly. “Ignore the porn. Deep-throating isn’t what you’re aiming for. You’re not a porn star. You’re Vitelli.”
“Could totally be a porn star.”
Elias chuckled. “Looking like that? Of course you could. But I’m not paying you, and I’m not watching you on a screen. I’m here. You’re here. You’re Vitelli. Go slow, breathe. You don’t have to move your head much. Use your hands. Use your tongue. I don’t need to be in your throat to think you’re hot. I promise.”
Vito grunted his response before taking Elias back into his mouth. Despite the dismissal, he took Elias’s advice and adjusted his pacing. His breathing. His hand. Elias pulled a leg up against his side, lower back arching off the bed. Vito glanced up at him through his eyelashes, shoving an arm beneath his back to better support him.
“Do you still want — oh, my God, Vitelli — still wanna go all the way?”
Vito lifted his head. “Yes.”
“You wanna top me?”
“Like… be inside you?”
“Yes.”
“Desperately.”
Elias smiled faintly, rolling his eyes. “You can prep me with your fingers while your mouth and other hand are… preoccupied.” He reached for the nightstand closest to the door, though he couldn’t quite reach it. “There’s a bottle of lube in that one.”
“Mm. You came prepared.”
Elias laughed as Vito pressed a kiss to his lips. “I only come out to LA every couple months. Gotta take advantage of it.”
Vito raised an eyebrow. “What, you live in some sort of straights-only neighborhood back home?”
Elias snorted. “You could say I’m in the closet.”
“Lookin’ like this? Dancing in clubs like that? Damn, babe. Coulda fooled me.” Vito couldn’t believe how naturally the petname had fallen from his lips. For women was one thing. For Elias was something entirely different. For a man was something entirely different. Vito leaned over him to open the nightstand drawer. “Whatcha in LA for?”
“Fundraiser thing.”
“Same. Dad always makes me go to his lame rich people schmoozing events.”
Elias laughed. “God, they always do, huh? Are you being schmoozed to raise money or to spend it?”
“Spend it.”
“That’s probably slightly less annoying than my position. Have to really play up the whole disabled thing so the lame rich people will donate something to ‘the cause’. No offense to present company, of course.”
“None taken.” Vito came back with the bottle of lube. “What kinda disability is that? Hot and ashamed?”
“Look who’s talking,” Elias said, playfully shoving at Vito’s chest. “Right now, it’s mostly the side effects of a bad car accident. Sometimes they have me really play up the NICU stuff after I was born prematurely, and sometimes I have to play up the scoliosis and the surgery for it. With the car accident, I get a couple good days in a row every so often. If they line up with my time in LA, you bet your ass I’m taking advantage of them.”
“Honored for my ass to be a part of your good days in a row, then.”
“Mm.” Elias pushed himself up on his elbows to kiss him. “Whenever you’re ready, Vitelli. You set the pace. You’re in control.”
Vito kissed him again before trailing kisses down his still-clothed torso. He wrapped a hand around Elias’s cock and took the head of it back into his mouth. As Elias’s hand found its way back into Vito’s hair, Vito eased a finger into him. A soft sound fell from Elias’s lips as he arched into Vito’s mouth. His brow furrowed, Vito pressed a hand to his stomach, pushing him back against the bed.
“Sorry,” Elias whispered. “Hips down. I promise.” Vito hummed around him, offering his approval at the notion as he continued to prepare the man for him.
Once he was certain he’d done a thorough enough job, confirmed by Elias’s gentle and reassuring words, he wrapped a hand around Elias’s chin and kissed him. When he pulled away, Elias waved a hand toward the nightstand again. Vito shifted enough to yank it open and grab a condom. When his shaky hands failed to open the foil, Elias laid both of his own over Vito’s.
“You’re certain this is what you want tonight?” Elias asked.
“I’m sure as fuck not quitting now.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Vito’s gaze shifted to Elias’s face. “I’m sure. My hands are just…”
“You’re nervous,” Elias filled in, the words still soft. Never judging. Never condescending. Always soft. Always understanding. “It’s okay to be. I just want to make sure you’re nervous because it’s your first time with a guy and not for some other reason.”
“No. I, y’know, I gave a handjob to a guy at summer camp a couple times. More than a couple.”
“God, hopefully someone your age.”
“Mm. My bunkmate.”
“And you liked it?”
“I think so. Long time ago. Buried it deep. Couldn’t even tell you what he looked like now. Or his name. Just… that I know it happened.”
Elias nodded, lifting a hand from Vito’s to lay it on his cheek instead. “You can stop at any time.You can take a break. You can stop entirely. Just because you open the condom doesn’t mean you have to finish it. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Which way do you want me?”
“What’s… most comfortable for you?”
“Usually on my back. But like I said, I’m having a pretty okay couple days, pain-wise. You can choose anything you want, long as you’re not expecting acrobatics.”
With all the patience Elias had given him, it felt wrong to stick with his usual position choices: whatever guaranteed his partner couldn’t look him in the eye. Vito nodded toward his face. “How well can you see without the glasses?”
Elias snorted. “Not well at all. You wanna try ‘em on and see for yourself?”
“God, no. I want sex, not nausea.”
One corner of Elias’s mouth lifted. “Fair.” A pause. “You want them off?”
“Won’t care if you’re lookin’ at me if you can’t see me.”
Elias shifted toward the head of the bed and pulled off his glasses. Folding them, he set them neatly on the nightstand. Vito tore open the condom and rolled it onto himself, tossing the foil to the floor. He tossed off his jacket and yanked his shirt over his head. He unbuttoned Elias’s shirt and pushed it down his arms. Elias pulled his hands free from the sleeves and threw it over the edge of the bed. Vito grabbed Elias’s thighs and pulled him down a few inches. He sat on his knees between Elias’s legs, eyes finally registering the scars that littered Elias’s legs and his now exposed stomach. Some definitely surgical, some definitely not.
Vito traced two fingers down one of the ones on his stomach. “Car accident?”
Elias nodded. “Kidney transplant.”
Vito raised a brow. “Should you really be drinking with that?”
“In moderation. I don’t do it much.”
“Just in the LA clubs, huh?”
Elias smiled. “Mostly.”
“Mm.” Vito wrapped a hand around himself, his other hand on Elias’s stomach, fingers splayed out beneath the scars. He eased himself into him, earning himself a beautiful little gasp as Elias tilted his head back against the pillows. Vito lowered himself across Elias, hands bracing himself on either side of Elias’s shoulders, and kissed him.
Elias moaned into his mouth, hands moving to his cheeks as Vito’s hips moved against his. He slid a hand through Vito’s hair, holding it away from his face. Vito’s lips moved to Elias’s neck as he slid an arm beneath his shoulders to hold him close. Elias whispered his name — or, the bullshit fake name he’d been given — and wrapped his legs around Vito, ankles crossed at the small of his back. “Oh, God, Vitelli. Yes. You’ve got it. Just like that.”
Vito laid a hand over Elias’s mouth, silencing him. Elias laughed against his palm, quickly followed by a muffled moan. Vito shifted, pulling his knees up beneath him just enough to allow for a deeper angle into Elias’s ass. He wanted desperately to change positions, to roll Elias onto his side or onto his hands and knees. Anything to get his legs somewhere else, his feet somewhere else, to untrap him.
“Legs,” Vito finally said through his teeth. “Uncross your ankles.”
“Sorry,” Elias mumbled against his palm. With his ankles uncrossed, Vito reached back for one leg. With it hooked over his arm to guarantee no reoffences, he lifted his hand from Elias’s mouth, claiming it with his own instead. Elias slid an arm around his shoulders. Vito did his best to fight through that one too before sitting up on his knees, hands falling to Elias’s hips as he drove himself into the man. This time, when Elias locked his ankles behind his ass, he didn’t feel trapped. He could handle it.
He slid a hand around to Elias’s cock and wrapped his fingers around it, stroking it in time with his thrusts. Elias moaned, head falling back against the pillows. If he could just get Elias through to an orgasm, if he could just get himself to one, it’d be over. The walls in his head would stop crumbling. He wouldn’t feel trapped. The darkness would stop creeping into the edges of his vision. He wouldn’t keep hearing his voice, so far off in the distance that it was barely noticeable, but it was still there.
But no matter how fucking hard he tried, he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t finish it.
He pulled out of Elias and dropped to his back on the bed, managing to stay there glaring at the ceiling for all of five seconds before bolting up to dart to the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before throwing up whatever booze was still in his system. Vito wiped his mouth with his arm and backed himself into the corner by the bathtub, knees pulled to his chest.
Elias came into the bathroom a moment later, glasses perched on his nose and his body wrapped in a fluffy robe. He closed the lid of the toilet and flushed it before sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “I told you it was okay to stop whenever you needed to. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“It’s not… It ain’t you,” Vito said, his voice a hell of a lot thicker than he wanted it to be. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been close to tears. Or cried. When they feared his brother was going to be beaten to death on some fucked up dark web livestream? Probably.
“I know it’s not, honey,” Elias said gently. He laid a hand on the back of Vito’s head, keeping it there for a couple seconds before combing his fingers through his hair.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“I totally blue-balled you.” Vito wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “You went out to the club to get laid. I shoulda let you go home with someone who could at least finish the fucking job.”
Elias shook his head. “I went out to the club to have a good time with a guy. I had a good time with you,” he said.
“You’re just sayin’ that cause I’m about ready to cry in your fucking bathroom.”
“No, I’m saying that because I had a good time with you.” Elias leaned forward enough to look Vito in the eye. “Your worth to me isn’t designated by whether you give me an orgasm or not. Your worth to me is designated by the fact that you’re a decent human being with… a lot of wars going on in his head.”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“Well, it seems like right now, I know more about you than any other man does. But I also don’t think my limited knowledge of your entire life up to this moment should decide if I had a good time or not.” Silently, Vito leaned to the side, head falling against Elias’s thigh. “Do you wanna talk about what’s going on?”
“No.”
“I figured as much.” Elias cleared his throat. “How about a shower?”
“No.”
“That’s okay. Do you want to go back to the bed? No sex, just so you’re not naked and cold.”
“I like being naked.”
Elias chuckled. “That’s okay. If you’d like, you can be naked, and I’ll keep you warm.” After a moment, Vito nodded. Elias pushed himself to his feet and held out both hands. “Come on, hon. Let’s go warm you up.” Vito sniffled before grabbing them, allowing the man to pull him to his feet.
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This chapter was almost 5,000 words lol, so depending on what kind of reader you are, you’re either super welcome, or I’m super sorry 😅
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