LFAM – Chapter Two

NOT EDITED

Chapter Two

Monday: February 22, 2016

At the police station, Tahki waited for Hilo to unlock their shared office before walking inside. Tahki pulled out her chair, setting her coffee cup on the desk as she sat down. Hilo sat down at his desk directly across from hers, the squeak of his chair serving as a reminder that no one in the station had received a new chair in over a decade. She turned on her computer and slid her chair back, grabbing the mail from the short cabinet there. Though the mail they usually received at the station was limited, it wasn’t exactly rare for there to be a small stack of it waiting for them.

She flipped through the envelopes, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes landed on the red envelope in the middle of the rest of them. It wasn’t familiar to her, not in the slightest, but that didn’t stop the chill the very sight of it sent down her spine. She set the others aside, unable to stop herself from staring at the ‘Harris + Granger’ written on the front. It wasn’t so much the use of their last names that unsettled her. The rest of the envelope was empty. No address, no sender. Just her and Hilo’s surnames. That unsettled her.

She turned it over to look at the wax seal she’d been able to feel with her finger. The silver-gray seal held the delicate loops and swirls of a cursive M and K, and despite how long she stared at it, she couldn’t figure out why. Lack of a sender name or not, she didn’t know anyone with the initials M and K.

She glanced up at Hilo. His eyes were focused on his computer screen, the fingers of one hand scratching absently at his trimmed beard. Letting her brown eyes fall back to the envelope, she opened it and pulled out the letter within. She set them aside for a moment, typing in the password for her computer. Even if only a temporary one, it still served as a distraction from whatever could be written inside.

Clearing her throat, she unfolded the letter.

Hello, Detectives,

It’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it? Twenty full years. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit… Oh, I don’t know. Is nostalgic the correct word? “A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, […] for a period or place with happy personal associations.” Yes, nostalgic seems like it’s the right word.

I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic about my little… adventure twenty years ago. I fear that nostalgia will make me kill again. Well, I fear for you, not for me. I enjoy it too much for it to be a fear. I love it, if we’re being honest. It’s a… Oh, what is it that the kids say?

Lol?

Yes, it’s more of a ‘laugh out loud’ situation for me than it is for you, that’s for sure. I want to do it again. Maybe in a bank again, maybe in a park, maybe in a shopping mall. But this time, I have different plans. There won’t be any survivors this time around, and I’ll kill even more of them than last time.

I know what you’re thinking of doing right now, and I know how fast your heart must be beating. I bet you never thought you’d hear from me again, right?

Well, here I am. I could pretend I’m sorry for the distress this must be causing you, but then I’d be lying to all three of us, and that’s just boring.

Anyway, this is just for Harris and Granger. If either of you shows it to any of your superiors, I’ll kill again much sooner than currently planned, and it WILL be bigger and better than the first time. You thought thirty-seven was bad? Just you wait, Detectives.

And I know you must be wondering how I would know if you told any of your superiors about this little letter. Source one: the media. If the lead detectives reopened a twenty-year-old case? It’d hit the news faster than you could blink. Source two: I have my own personal source, one even the media doesn’t have. I’m not stupid. I’ll figure it out, and the blood I shed because of it will be entirely on your hands.

Good luck finding me in between your usual cases, Detectives. We aren’t low on murders and robberies around here, are we?

Ta-ta for now, Detectives.

Tahki read through the letter a second time, as though seeing the words again would change every single one of them. Tragically, a second read-through revealed no change. “Hilo?” she asked.

“Mm?”

“I, umm…” She cleared her throat, holding the letter and envelope out to him instead of attempting to figure out what the hell she was supposed to say.

Hilo cocked his head to the side and grabbed it. He leaned back in his chair, crossing an ankle over the opposite thigh as he read through the letter. Tahki watched him carefully, watched the complete calmness that remained on his face.

Eventually, he set the letter and envelope down on his desk, brown eyes lifting to hers. “So, let’s start by taking a deep breath, and then we’ll work through this,” he said. She nodded. “Do you think it’s authentic?” he asked after a moment.

“Authentic? I guess I didn’t… think about it being anything but authentic.”

“You were panicking,” Hilo said. “And that’s okay. We do that sometimes, especially when we’re already on edge. Your grandson’s in the hospital again, and today’s the twentieth anniversary of a very terrible shooting. You’ve been on edge ever since you woke up.”

Tahki drew in a deep breath and offered a little nod. “Yeah, yeah. That’s… that’s fair.” She cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her desk. “I dunno. Do you think it’s authentic?”

“It’s hard to say. But I know one thing for sure, and that’s that the author of this letter doesn’t give us anything unique. He doesn’t tell us anything that the media doesn’t know, that the public doesn’t know,” he said.

“Do you think it’s a citizen?”

“I think anything’s possible when it comes to this case, Tahki.”

She stared at the Hawaiian, a frown forming on her face. “Thirty-seven people died, Hilo. I’d like to think our civilians have more respect than that.”

“Look at social media any day of the week. No one has to have any respect for anything or anyone when they’re hiding behind a screen.” He crossed his arms over his chest, nodding toward the letter on his keyboard. “Or, in this case, behind a piece of paper and a red envelope.”

Tahki nodded. She shifted in her seat, moving her elbows to rest on her desk. She clasped her hands together, resting her chin on them. “What should we do?”

He inhaled deeply through his nose, one corner of his mouth scrunching up as his eyes shifted to the ceiling. “We could dust it for prints. I… honestly have no damn recollection of if our bank shooter was wearing gloves or not all those years ago, but whether or not he was, a civilian might not think to do it while writing the letter. If we can get any clean prints from this, we can eliminate our prints, and then we can see if they match anything in the system. If our original killer wasn’t wearing gloves and left prints at the bank scene, the prints from the envelope will come back as a match if he actually did write this. If not, it either matches nothing, or it matches some criminal in our system,” Hilo said.

“That’s… a good step. We should probably also work on figuring out if our killer did leave prints at the original scene,” Tahki said.

“We need to sign a sheet in the records room if we want a copy of that file. We shouldn’t do that until we know what comes of these prints.”

Slowly, Tahki nodded. “Right. We shouldn’t tell anyone,” she said quietly. “So… down to the lab?”

“Should be empty, yet.” Hilo sighed, hauling himself to his feet. “Let’s go see what we can see.”


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LFAM – Chapter One

NOT EDITED

Chapter One

Monday: February 22, 2016

Through the car’s speakers, a woman shared a conversation she had overheard in the grocery store, something about the odd things young children tended to say, especially when out in public. Detective Hilo Granger didn’t much care for the stories on the radio, but he did care about the weather, and if he had to listen to a thirty-second story to receive it, so be it.

According to the radio host—Jordan Powers—the temperature had dropped several degrees in the last hour, but it was still something one could consider nice for a New York winter. The sun was out and the wind was blowing around four miles an hour. Hilo couldn’t help but be thankful for that. With the snow that had come in the night before, it was certainly nice to know it wouldn’t be blowing all over the damn road immediately after they plowed it. Not only did it make the daily commute safer for his fellow brothers and sisters in blue, but it also kept things safer for the civilians they were set out to protect.

Hilo let out a breath and lifted his brown eyes to the rearview mirror. He hadn’t styled his hair quite as well as he had thought. Styling it wasn’t all that difficult of a task, either. It fell just below the tips of his ears in length, and he usually styled it just enough to keep it out of his face without slicking it back entirely. But to his credit, he hadn’t expected to be picking up his partner that morning. Not that he minded. Tahki Harris was like a sister to him. He just preferred more than a half-hour warning if he needed to make an extra stop on his way to work.

He fixed his dark brown hair as best he could before grabbing the coffee cups from the center console and sliding out of the car. He closed the door with his elbow, suddenly more than aware of the cold. A smarter man would’ve grabbed a coat before walking out of the house in a short-sleeved button-up near the tail end of winter, but his daughter had gotten it for him, and his stubbornness for showing his support of children-given gifts far outweighed his intelligence.

Looking both ways beforehand, Hilo jogged across the street. He walked up the snow-dusted stairs of his partner’s home and rapped his knuckles against the door. The lock clicked a moment later before the door opened.

A short Native American child stared up at him, a smile on her face. “Morning, Uncle Hilo.”

He smiled. “Morning, Emma-bear. Your mom out and about?”

“Mmhmm. She’s in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.” Hilo stepped into the house, kicking the door closed. He wiped his shoes on the doormat and made his way to the kitchen.

Tahki stood at the island, hands on the counter, eyes on her laptop. Her shoulder-length black hair had already been done up in a braid, as it was most days. Despite her hair being done, she hadn’t put on much more than a dress shirt, one that wasn’t even hers.

Hilo cleared his throat.

She lifted her head, her shoulders relaxing. “Hey, Hilo.”

“Hi.” He set the cardboard cup holder on the counter, grabbing his coffee from it. “That caramel BS is yours.”

Tahki snorted. “Thank you.” She grabbed it, raising an eyebrow. “What about number three? Emma’s a little too young to start giving her coffee.”

Hilo chuckled, though the actual reasoning behind the third cup was less than humorous to him. “You’re right. But Bossman is not too young for coffee.”

She let out a harsh breath before looking down at her shirt. Realization sparked in her eyes. “Aww, Christ. Guess there’s no reason to pretend he’s at work, huh?”

“Nope.” Hilo shook his head. “You two have to be more careful. If people at the station start finding out you’re sleeping with him, things aren’t gonna go over well.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “There’s a reason he doesn’t park on this block. We’re smarter than that. He is smarter than that.” It wasn’t long before the ‘he’ in question finally walked into the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed in a suit and tie.

Lieutenant Andrew Knott flashed a smile. “Morning, Granger.”

“Morning, Loo. Brought you coffee,” Hilo said, nodding toward the cardboard holder.

“You’re a lifesaver, Granger.” Andrew grabbed the cup and pressed a kiss to Tahki’s temple. “Change before you come into the station. I’ve got a meeting today, and neither of us needs to get our asses fired.”

“I’m not planning on wearing your shirt outside of the house, but thanks for the heads-up,” Tahki said. He only smiled his response. “Don’t have too much fun at the meeting.”

He chuckled. “I’ll do my best. You, too.” He saluted Hilo. “See you at the station, Detective.”

“Sure thing, Loo.” Hilo returned the two-finger salute before their lieutenant walked out of the room. Over the course of the last six months, Hilo had done his best to keep his mouth shut on Tahki’s relationship with Andrew. They had been dating for closer to a year, but she had only managed to hide it from him for the first half. Though Andrew was a damn intelligent man—intelligent enough to have made lieutenant when he was only twenty-nine—Hilo considered it beyond dangerous for a detective to date their superior. Tahki, however, didn’t see it the same way, and Hilo didn’t dare bring it up to their lieutenant.

A few months away from turning fifty-one, Hilo was already at risk of being forced out to a desk job or early retirement. Pushing Andrew by suggesting his relationship was dangerous seemed like nothing more than a great way to move his retirement date much closer than expected.

Hilo took a sip of his coffee and leaned down, crossing his arms over the counter as he focused his eyes on his partner once more. Five years Tahki’s senior, the woman had felt like a little sister to him for a damn long time. That morning, the part of his brain that masqueraded as anything but an only child said he needed to find out what had her so troubled.

Clearing his throat, he nodded toward Tahki’s laptop. “What were you looking at on there?”

“Grandson’s in the hospital again. I think I’ll need to leave work early, make sure I can get in there and see him before visiting hours are over,” Tahki said.

“I’m sorry to hear that, sweetheart. Are you gonna need a ride?”

“Maybe. I’ll let you know?”

“Works for me.” He watched the woman for a moment, unable to ignore the obvious worry on her face. It was a stark contrast to her usual soft expression, and talking about her grandson hadn’t lessened the worry whatsoever, which was worrisome, to say the least. “Is everything okay, Tahki? Besides the little one?”

“It’s the anniversary of that damn bank robbery slash mass murder we worked in the nineties. That mass shooting?” Tahki asked. Hilo let out a sigh, closing his eyes. “I know. I don’t wanna think about it, either. But it’s been twenty damn years as of today, so it’s on every news station, every online news source. I even saw a video or two about it posted on YouTube today. Makes me sick to my damn stomach, knowing we never caught that sick bastard.”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Thirty-seven people gunned down and not a lick of justice. I don’t like it, either, Tahki.”

She nodded. “Those articles spend most of their time insulting our intelligence. Did you know that? They act like the only reason we couldn’t catch him is that we’re stupid. Like that’s the logical reason why,” she said. “It’s not my fault we aren’t that over-credited detective in California. We can’t all get bonus points for shit we don’t deserve the way she does.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hilo said softly. He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Other cops in the department are looking into that case all the time. And now that it’s the anniversary, they’ll do what they can to up the ante on progress. They’ll do their best to find something—anything—because it’s in the news right now. It’s all right.”

Tahki sighed. “Yeah, we can hope, anyway. Thank you.”

He nodded. “What can I say? These five years I’ve got on you are filled with wisdom.”

She snorted, reaching over the island to shove his shoulder. “Don’t be a dumbass.”

Hilo chuckled. “Whatever. You’d miss it if I wasn’t one.” He looked down at his watch. “Ready to head on out?”

“Yeah. I’ll be good in five.” A pause. “Would… you mind bringing Emma with, dropping her off at school? She can take the bus if you don’t want to make the extra stop.”

“I don’t mind. Just let her know we’re leaving in five. I’ll be here.”


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MoD – Chapter Four

NOT EDITED

Ethan Wright walked into the house, a hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob. For a moment, he considered slamming the door to take out even one of his frustrations, but he knew his father was still asleep. Squeezing his eyes shut, he closed the door with a quiet click instead. He headed back to his room and kicked off his shoes. He sat down on the edge of the bed, dropping his head to his hands.

He had school tomorrow. Monday. The kids in his class were even more aggressive on Mondays than they were any other day of the week. There was always a pop quiz in English on Mondays, and the one thing Ethan was good at was vocabulary. He wasn’t an extraordinary student or a genius by any means, but his high scores on the vocab sections of tests in any subject always pissed off Derek Cox and all of his little minions.

Ethan groaned, falling to his back on the bed. He couldn’t even blame the bullying on the American teen movie stereotype that he was intelligent and they were just dumb jocks. Ethan was only good at English and History, and Derek and his friends didn’t even play any sports. Ethan had been in football and track since the seventh grade. Derek and his friends just played role-playing board games after school.

Ethan draped an arm over his eyes, blocking out the light shining through his window. He figured Dad could just call in for him tomorrow and keep him home from school. Dad, still wrapped in his grief from his wife’s death over a decade ago, did his best for Ethan, and the boy was more than aware of that. Dad didn’t really understand the depression, the bullying, or the suicidal thoughts, so he always just let Ethan stay home if he asked.

It wasn’t much, but it was an effort, and Ethan appreciated it. It was more than some depressed kids got from their parents. He sat up, grabbing his pill bottle from the nightstand. He shook one into his hand and twisted off the cap of his water bottle. Closing his eyes, he downed the pill with a swig of warm water.

Ethan scrubbed his hands over his face and pushed his fingers into his hair. “Shower,” he mumbled with a short nod. Shower first, supper later, worrying about school even later. He’d love to never worry about it again, but that just wasn’t an option. Dad needed him.

So for now, later would have to do.

***

Miles stood backstage with one of Laura Fox’s bodyguards. Laura was the oldest of his guarded souls. She was twenty-seven years old and an incredibly popular singer in the United States. With fame, of course, came the crazies. Stalkers, crazed fans. It was what had, at some point, made Hector decide she needed Miles’s protection. It was impossible to know when a fan or stalker would break pattern, when a single step left instead of right would lead them to bypass fate and kill Laura instead.

And that was where Miles came in. He couldn’t precisely predict an event before it happened—he wasn’t a psychic, for God’s sake—but he could still step in to stop an event from occurring much quicker than any human could.

Brown eyes still on the crowd, he reached back and pulled his phone from his pocket as it buzzed. He had a text from an unknown number, but the message alone let him know it was Lucifer. Miles unlocked the device and added the Devil’s number to his contacts.

Lucifer: Meet your guardian Angels, kid.

Miles took a small step back as four Fallen Angels appeared before him on the stage. “You shouldn’t be here,” he whispered.

“The humans cannot see us. We are a lot like you, Miles. While you make yourself solid enough to not fall through floors, we can choose to be seen or remain hidden to the humans,” the taller male Fallen said. His dark hair was pulled back in a bun, his eyes the same deep violet as the button-up he had on under his black suit jacket. “Virgil,” he said, sticking out a hand.

Miles shook his hand, eyes quickly flicking back to the crowd gathered for Laura’s concert. No danger yet. None that his little Reaper eyes could see, anyway. “Miles.”

Virgil nodded. “Yes.” He turned to the short woman beside him. She wore a white dress, a denim jacket pulled over her arms. A light pink ascot was tied around her neck, the color almost a perfect match for her eyes. Her hair was a deep, dark red, cut short on the sides and curly in the middle, swooping over the right side of her face. “Felice,” Virgil introduced.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Felice said, shaking Miles’s hand.

“You, too,” Miles said with a nod.

The second woman stuck out a hand. “Vequaniel.” Miles shook her hand. She was taller than Felice, dark blue hair pulled back in a ponytail, amber-golden eyes focused on Miles’s face.

The second man offered a smile and grabbed Miles’s hand. “Haroth.” He was the only Fallen of the four that was black. While Virgil’s skin was darker than the girls’, Miles was pretty sure he just saw the sun outside of Hell more often than the other three did. Haroth’s hair was short, dark, and curly, his eyes a near pastel yellow.

“So…” Miles trailed off, looking back at the crowd again. He scanned the people clapping and cheering before dragging his gaze back to the Fallen. “Now what?”

“Now you tell us where to go,” Virgil said.

“I know this is a lot to take in at first,” Felice said, her voice light. “The Fallen can seem… rather formidable at first, but we are not evil.” Her voice, while soft and quiet, held a raspy quality, like she had just woken up from a nap and hadn’t quite cleared her throat just yet. “We… are here to help you, Miles. We will not hurt those souls. We are here to help you protect them.”

“Lucifer’s filled you in on the whole picture here, right? Like, how I might destroy the world?” Miles asked.

Haroth laughed. “It is no skin off our backs. The world has not been kind to us, Miles. For all I care, burn the whole place down.” The other Fallen nodded their agreement.

Miles shook his head, swallowing as he looked back out at the crowd again. Was it safe to trust four beings that were entirely okay with destroying the world? To trust them with the lives of his most treasured souls? No, most likely not. Did he have a choice? Absolutely not. “I have three souls to protect. Hector wants one of them dead within the next three days, but he won’t tell me which one it’s going to be. I–I guess that’s where you guys come in, right?”

“Right,” Virgil said.

“Karen, my youngest soul, she can still see me. She thinks I’m her imaginary friend. See, she needs that. So you can only watch her closely if you’re willing to let her play with you, if you’re willing to be her imaginary friend, as well. Can you do that without her mother or father seeing you?” Miles asked.

“Yes. It is easier for kids to see us. They are more sensitive to beings outside of this world. It takes less of our strength to make ourselves known to them,” Virgil said.

Miles nodded. “Vequaniel? She, umm, Karen would love to play with your hair, if you’re okay with that.”

One corner of the Fallen’s mouth lifted. “Okay. I will watch over her,” Vequaniel said.

“Thank you,” the Reaper whispered. The blue-haired Fallen simply nodded before vanishing, the soft sound of wings beating left in her wake. “Ethan’s suicidal. School’s hard for him, home’s hard for him. He needs a lot of extra care, a lot of safety precautions.”

“I can do it,” Felice said. “I will text you if something appears to be wrong with the boy.”

“Thank you,” Miles repeated. The Fallen vanished, and the beating of wings filled the air once more. Miles looked between the two men left before him. He gestured to the woman on stage. “That’s my Laura. Crazy fans. Stalkers. She’s received a lot of threatening letters recently. Someone’s broken into her place twice. They’ve replaced her locks, and she has a new security system in place, but the concerts are dangerous. Leaving her house is dangerous.”

“I will watch over her,” Haroth said. He elbowed Virgil in the side. “You stay with the little Reaper. If something is wrong, we can tell you instead of texting him. If you are beside him, you can tell him what is going on.”

“Does that work for you?” Virgil asked. He touched two fingers to his temple. “The Fallen can hear each other, no matter how far apart we are. It will be much quicker than a text message.”

“Okay,” Miles agreed. Haroth turned, leaning against a wooden support beam, pastel yellow eyes on Laura’s figure. “We can stay here until something comes in. I have another half hour or so to kill before any souls need reaping.”

“All right.” Virgil crossed his arms over his chest. “I am truly sorry that Hector has decided to try and rip these souls from you after getting you attached to them. Hector is… a dick, and I do believe that is putting it nicely.”

Miles nodded. “Well, there is that.” He pulled his hat from his head, raking a hand through his hair and tousling it as he scratched his scalp a bit more aggressively than necessary. “I saw Anna today after I talked to her about… about my plan to protect these three souls. He slapped her. He must have. I could see his damn handprint on her cheek. She wouldn’t even talk to me,” he whispered. With a sniffle, he pushed his hat back onto his head. “She’s all I got, and she wouldn’t even speak to me.”

“Anna is a kind soul,” Virgil said softly. “Honestly, she most likely did not want you to feel as though it were your fault. If I had to guess, that is all it was. Her silence or avoidance had nothing to do with you as a person, or Reaper, I am sure. She only wanted to save you from placing blame on yourself when the incident did not, and does not, belong on your shoulders.”

“Maybe. I hope so.”

“Hector hitting her is not your fault, little Reaper. If she was concerned about getting hit or being in any form of danger at his hands, she would not have let you speak with her. She would have sent you on your merry way and been done with it. That is not your fault. She is a big girl, and she can make her own decisions and handle the consequences that come from them,” Virgil said.

“Thank you,” Miles mumbled. He chuckled, shaking his head. “I feel like I’m going insane.”

Virgil laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “We all are, Miles. There is simply no way around that. We are… insane.” The Fallen smiled down at him. “Live it up, little Reaper. The world as we know it is going to end in three days.”


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MoD – Chapter Three

NOT EDITED

Miles pushed his glasses up on his nose and locked his hands behind his head as he paced the length of his little office. Karen, Ethan, and Laura. All three souls were… beyond important to him. He loved them. He loved the souls, the people they belonged to. They gave him access to the part of himself that still remembered what it was like to be human. They made him feel human.

He couldn’t lose that. He couldn’t lose them. He needed them.

There was no way around that for Miles. The souls were important to him. They were his three treasured souls. He didn’t care what Hector said. He didn’t care that keeping them alive could end the world.

Okay. Fine. Maybe he cared a little. But they were important to him! He needed them! He couldn’t continue to live for the rest of eternity knowing that he gave up on his three favorite souls. They were all too young to go now. They all had a hell of a lot more life left to live. There was no doubt about that. He couldn’t let Hector take that from him, from them, no matter what.

Miles stopped pacing, stooping down to grab his hat. He placed it on his head and walked out of his office, pulling the door closed behind him. He went downstairs and through the small living room of his tiny apartment. Outside in the warm, red and black halls, he shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way toward the stairs.

He headed down another hall and stopped at a door. Drawing in a deep breath, he knocked on it. Several seconds later, it opened.

A dark-haired man several inches taller than him stood there, head cocked to one side. He wore dark jeans and a black tank-top, a blazer thrown over his shoulders. He smiled, red eyes on Miles’s face. “Hiya, Miles.”

“Lucifer,” Miles greeted.

“Wanna come in?” Miles only nodded. Lucifer took a step back, holding out an arm. “Sorry for the warmth. Hell hath no mercy on a man with mortal body temperatures.”

Miles snorted, following Lucifer back to his desk. “I’m more or less used to it,” the short Reaper assured.

Lucifer nodded, dropping into the chair behind his desk. He gestured to one of the chairs in front of it. After a tentative moment of considering if Lucifer was really who he wanted to make friends with, Miles sat down. “Something I can do for you today?” the Devil asked.

“I think I just… need to get my mind off a few things. Anna suggested I mingle.” Miles held out his arms for a moment.

Lucifer chuckled as a man materialized behind his chair, hands on the Devil’s shoulders. Briefly, Lucifer reached up and patted his hand. “Dear old Anna. She doesn’t understand how any of us can survive without constantly conversing with friends.” He shook his head, leaning back as he folded his hands over his chest. “What’s on your mind?”

“You don’t wanna hear my problems.”

“Oh, come on, Miles. We’re both in the soul business, aren’t we? You can talk to me,” Lucifer said.

Miles cleared his throat, shifting nervously in his seat. “I have these… three souls that I like. They make me feel, you know, human.”

“Mm.” Lucifer nodded. “Those are hard to come by. I have a few that help me feel like Daddy didn’t throw me from heaven for funsies.” He raised an eyebrow. “What about them has you so bothered?”

“Fate plans to kill one of them in the next three days.”

Lucifer let out a loud whistle. “Ouch.”

Miles nodded. “I know. A–and he’s the one that assigned those souls to me in the first place. They’re flight risks, and he wanted to make sure I kept them on Earth until it was their real time to go. I was supposed to protect them. I am supposed to protect them. He assigned that job to me.”

“Ah. So Hector’s still a fucking wanker, huh?” Lucifer asked. Again, Miles only nodded. “You’re going to end the world, aren’t you?”

“Well, I, uh, I’m going to try not to. I’m going to do everything I can to keep them safe. I’m just hoping it’s not as, you know… detrimental to the world as everyone says it is.”

“And if it is?”

“Then so be it. I’ll do anything to save them from Fate, end of the world or not.”

“Pretty bold for a little Reaper.” The Devil nodded. “I like you, Miles. I’ll help.” The man behind him flashed his pure black, soulless eyes at the Reaper.

Miles swallowed. “I–I wasn’t asking for help.”

“Miles, kid, when an Archangel offers to help you maybe destroy the world, you should accept the offer,” Lucifer said.

“Well…” Miles cleared his throat. “Yeah. Umm, thank you. I–I think I need all the help I can get.”

“Of course. Protecting three souls from Fate is just… too much for one Reaper to handle,” Lucifer said. “Making and keeping friends is good for you, Miles. Angels, Demons, the Fallen. Doesn’t matter. We’re stronger in numbers.”

“I know. Friends make me nervous. Relationships make me nervous.”

“Understandable.” Lucifer snapped his fingers, and a glass of whiskey appeared in his hand. He wrapped his fingers around it. “Want any?”

Miles shook his head. “The, uh, last time I drank alcohol, my friends murdered me, so…”

“Ouch,” Lucifer whispered. “Sorry, little Reaper.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t kill me,” Miles said simply.

“Well, there is that,” Lucifer agreed. “So, what’s your plan? How do you plan to keep these three souls safe from Hector?”

“I was mostly going to jump back and forth between them and do everything I could to keep them out of harm’s way. Each of them suffers danger from something totally different, and my youngest soul is the only one that can actually see me. The other two are a bit harder to protect. They can’t see me, so I have to physically pull them out of certain situations without making my interference too obvious to them or those around them. It hasn’t been easy,” Miles said.

Lucifer nodded. “The Reaper before Anna? Did you ever meet him?” Miles shook his head. “Hector assigned souls to him, too. Souls to protect, I mean. It was too hard for him, and he stole an Angel Blade to kill himself with.” Lucifer took a sip of his whiskey. “You’re stronger than he was, Miles. You’ve fought through the challenges and protected those souls. It’s just three more days. You can do it, and I’ll do what I can to help.”

“Even… if it ends the world?” Miles asked.

Lucifer smiled. “Even if.”

“I, uh, really appreciate that, Lucifer. Just… thank you.”

Lucifer nodded. “Are you always this nervous?”

“I mean… kinda? But, umm, but I usually don’t make deals with the Devil.”

Lucifer laughed. The statement even seemed to pull a small smile from the Demon behind him. If nothing else, it made him look a little less killy than before. “Miles, this isn’t some evil deal we’re making. I’m offering to help because I hate Hector and my father. So if we end the world, I honestly don’t give much of a damn.”

“And you said I was bold.”

“You are. For a Reaper,” Lucifer said. “Look, I have a few Fallen under my belt that can help you watch over your souls. They can’t explicitly protect them, though. Father takes away a lot of their strength when he casts them out, and the things that may be easy for you and I can entirely drain them of their strength. So, you have a phone?” Miles nodded. “Good. I’ll give them your phone number and they’ll watch after the souls, call you when something’s wrong.”

“Can they call when something seems any bit off or dangerous? I don’t want to risk anything. I need them to be safe, like, one hundred percent.” Miles said.

Lucifer nodded. “Of course. Leave your number, okay? I’ll set something up with the Fallen and get back to you. They’re my family, so I expect you to treat them with the respect they deserve.”

“I will. I respect just about everyone that isn’t Hector.”

Lucifer snorted. “You and me both, brother.” He pushed himself to his feet and tossed his phone to Miles. The Reaper fumbled for a moment before holding it to his chest. “Put your number in there. I’ve got something lower level to deal with.”

“Okay.”

Lucifer turned to the Demon. “Behave yourself.”

The black-eyed being smiled. “I’ll do my best, my King.”

“Mm.” Lucifer squeezed his hand before turning back to Miles. “You can leave if you get bored. I don’t know how long this’ll take. Either way, just leave my phone on the desk and I’ll get back to you. Sound good?”

“Yes. Umm, thank you,” Miles said.

Lucifer nodded. “No problem, Miles.”


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MoD – Chapter Two

NOT EDITED

Miles glanced up at the nameplate on the door in the hall, eyes skimming over the capital FATE written in silver letters. His eyes narrowed as he pushed the door open, forgoing what he would usually consider a professionally necessary knock. His boss looked up at him, annoyance flashing in his electric blue eyes. “Which one?” Miles asked.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Fate—who chose to go by Hector more often than not—said simply, eyes falling back to his laptop.

“Why not? You always give me a name so I can harvest the soul. Give me a name,” Miles said.

“If I do that, you’ll just hover around them to keep them safe, and I can’t have that happening, Miles. It interrupts the natural order of things, and I won’t let you ruin the very thing that holds this planet together.”

Two of them are children, Hector. Karen’s only seven!”

“That’s unnecessary. I can hear you just fine without you raising your voice at me.”

“She’s seven,” Miles emphasized, forcing his voice to remain calm and level.

“I’m more than aware. You have a job to do, Miles, souls to harvest. Hop to it.”

You assigned me to protect those kids, Hector. You did that, not me. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“Yes, thank you for the recap, but I’m already more than aware of that,” Hector said, sounding bored. “You’ve been assigned to protect high-risk souls many times over the years. These three just needed your protection longer than most of the others. I didn’t tell you to form an attachment to them. You did that. You knew they would all die eventually, and you still grew attached to all three of them, like a human would. Regardless, this job isn’t supposed to be easy, Miles. That isn’t the point of all of this.” He waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve texted you your names for the day. Go on out there and do your job. Believe it or not, you were assigned to do that, as well.”

Miles stared at the dark-haired, blue-eyed being, briefly wishing that killing Hector would solve all of his problems. But between Hector being immortal and Hector being Fate, it would most likely do more damage than good. It wouldn’t even begin to fix the situation at hand. It wouldn’t turn back Fate’s plans for the universe, his grand design for it all.

Miles’s eyes narrowed at his boss before the being’s hard gaze finally drove him out of the room. Miles closed the door behind him, closing his eyes to force himself not to slam it shut like he so desperately wanted to. It wouldn’t have done him or his souls any good anyway. It only would have angered Fate. Miles figured that was one of the things he needed to avoid doing for now. Maybe keeping his mouth shut and playing nice would buy him an extra day or two with his souls.

Heartbeat or not, it felt like the muscle was pounding in his chest, thumping against his rib cage, trying everything it could to leap into his throat. But when he laid a hand over his heart, there was no movement, no sound. There was just… nothing, one more not so subtle reminder that Miles was far from human and had no right to be attached to any of those souls.

“Three days,” Miles whispered, leaning back against the door. He squeezed his eyes shut, a hand still resting over his non-beating heart. Three days. Seventy-two hours. At the end of it, Hector would make him harvest the soul of one of his most treasured humans. Miles knew it wasn’t a joke or some sick ploy so Hector could get his way in some pointless battle.

It was reality. It was sick and disgusting, and it made Miles’s stomach churn, but it was the reality.

Miles was Death, and inherently, he was a villain to many humans. He was the bad guy in so many of their personal stories and endeavors. It was supposed to be something permanent and constant about him. It was supposed to be the one thing he would always be able to do, the one thing he would always stick to until the day he retired and passed the not so literal scythe over to the next Reaper.

Miles was supposed to be the bad guy in this world. It was his job, and he was supposed to accept that. But he couldn’t. Not this time.

He opened his eyes, pushing himself away from the door. For the next seventy-two hours, regardless of what his boss said, Miles planned to do everything he could to continue to protect his treasured souls. He wouldn’t let Fate get in the way of their lives. They were far too young to die. Despite what Hector said, it wasn’t their time to go. Fate or not, he was wrong. They weren’t dying, not now.

Not if Miles had anything to say about it. And, oh boy, did he have a lot to say.

***

“Okay, hear me out,” Miles said, pacing the office.

Justice—a former Reaper who tended to go by the name Anna—leaned forward in her chair, crossing her arms over her desk. “I’m listening,” she said.

“Hector’s gonna kill one of my kids. He’s gonna do it, and he won’t tell me which one he’s gonna kill. He doesn’t want me to know, ‘cause if I do, he thinks I’ll stop it from happening.”

“Would you?” Anna asked.

“I would definitely try.”

“Right.”

“He said it’s gonna be in three days. Or… or within three days.”

“Okay.”

“So for the next three days, I’m gonna do everything I can to protect them. Like, even more hardcore than I have been, right? So, like, I’ll follow Ethan to school to help protect him from the bullies. If the bullies don’t touch him all day, he won’t be quite as likely to think about harming himself by the time he gets home. And I’ll follow Laura to her concerts and help her bodyguards keep back the crazies. I’ll follow Karen around and make sure she doesn’t come in contact with anything too dangerous for her immune system. I’ll fluff up her health a couple times if I have to. But I won’t let any of them die. I won’t let him kill them.”

Anna watched him for a long moment before reaching up to tuck her white hair behind her ears. “Okay, so… you want to tip the Scales?” she asked.

“I don’t want to. I need to. I can’t let them die, Anna. I can’t.”

“Miles, honey, I love you, but this is… dangerous.”

“I know,” he whispered. “God, Lucifer, Fate, Justice, humanity, I know.”

“What do you want me to say?” Anna asked.

“I need to know if it’s possible.”

“Anything’s possible. It’s about whether or not it should be done. And this… should not. You know that.”

“God, of course I know.” Miles stopped pacing, whirling around to face her. “Can I do it, though?”

If she still had a beating heart, she knew it would melt at his appearance. Miles, short little five-foot-six Miles, with his brown hair, chocolate eyes, and glasses. Miles, with his dark jeans, denim button-up, and fedora. He was an innocent in the grand scheme of things, nothing but a dead college kid that had been forced to reap souls for several hundreds of years.

“Honey, you can do anything you want to,” Anna said slowly. “But you need to weigh the benefits against the risks and decide if it’s something you’re still willing to try.”

“Well… well, I haven’t thought that far ahead,” he admitted.

“That’s okay. We can talk through that if you’d like.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” A pause. “Would you like to take a seat?”

With an air of hesitance, Miles crossed the room and dropped into the chair in front of Anna’s desk. “Okay,” he said quietly, “now what?”

“Now we look at the pros and the cons.”

“Well, an obvious pro—”

“Don’t start with the pros. Everyone starts with the pros.”

Miles offered a slow nod. “Okay. So… a con is that I could end the world.”

“Yeah, I’d say that one should be at the top of the list,” she agreed. “Now go with a pro.”

“Pro, none of the undeserving children die.”

“Okay.”

“Umm, con, I don’t think a Reaper has ever interfered before?”

“Correct. And why is that a con?”

“Because we don’t know what’ll happen if I interfere and keep their souls here past Fate’s set date.”

“Right. Another pro?” Anna questioned.

“I–I don’t have another one.” Miles’s brow furrowed. “Does that mean I can’t do it?”

“No, honey. It’s okay. Pros and cons aren’t measured by how many of each you have; they’re measured by how important each side is to you. So which side is more important to you?”

“I feel like you want me to say making sure I don’t implode the Earth.”

“No, I want you to say whichever feels true in your heart, beating or not,” Anna said.

Miles pulled his hat off his head, holding it in his lap as he stared down at the floor. “I can’t let them die, Anna. They’re all I have.” His head snapped up, eyes locking with hers. “Except you. I have you. I just… You know what I mean.”

“I know, honey.”

“I’m lonely. I’ve been lonely for a hundred years, Anna. These last seven years with Karen? The last three with Ethan? The two with Laura? Even though Karen’s the only one that can see me, I’ve never felt lonely around any of them. I need them,” Miles said.

“Well, then I do believe you have your answer,” Anna said, her voice soft.

He fell silent for a long while, toying with the hat in his hands. “I’m gonna end the world, Anna.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“I have a pretty good idea that we do.” He raked a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead and catching it beneath his hat. He sniffled. “You don’t gotta tell Hector I was in here. He doesn’t need to know you know anything about any of this. I didn’t even wanna drag you into it, but, you know… I haven’t had many friends since mine killed me, and I just needed to talk it through with someone that wasn’t me.”

“Honey.” Anna sighed, pushing herself to her feet. She rounded her desk and squatted down in front of him, crossing her arms over her knees. “You didn’t drag me into anything. If I didn’t want to talk to you about this, I would’ve kicked you out of my office as soon as you started talking. Okay?” He nodded. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Miles. You’re a loveable little dork. Go mingle with the Fallen or with Mul. Heck, even Lucifer’s not that bad. Hector and I aren’t your only options for communication.”

“I know.” Miles closed his eyes, scrubbing both hands over his face. “I’m gonna go.”

“Okay.” Anna stood up, leaning back against her desk as Miles rose to his feet. “I’m sorry he sprung this on you, honey.”

“Me, too.” Miles stepped around the chair, lifting a tentative hand. “I’ll see you around, Anna.”

“Okay, Miles. I’ll be here,” she said. He nodded and walked out of her office, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. Anna let out a sigh, shaking her head. She tapped her nails against the surface of her desk, head cocked to the side. “How long have you been back there?”

Hector cleared his throat, materializing behind her desk. He pushed himself away from the wall. “Oh, since about, ‘You don’t gotta tell Hector’.” He rounded the desk, wrapping a hand around Anna’s chin. “Souls have an expiration date, Anna.”

“Yep.”

“Maybe while he’s out protecting his souls, I’ll end your pathetic existence. He wouldn’t try to end the world if you were gone,” he said, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck.

“Do it, then. If you knew anything about that poor boy, you’d know how stupid this is. You think killing his only friend stops him from ending the world? Killing his only friend reinforces the idea that ending the world is the right call,” Anna said. “But do whatever you feel is necessary, Hector. Let’s see how it pans out for you in the end.”

With a low growl, he pushed himself away from her. “Stop helping Miles.”

“I’m not helping him do anything. Talking to him isn’t helping him end the world.”

“Don’t test me, Anna.”

“Don’t be a dick, Hector.”

His palm collided with her cheek, and near regret quickly clouded his expression. “Anna, I’m so sorry.”

Her baby blue eyes flicked up to his face before she swung a fist into his jaw. “Get out of my fucking office, Hector. Next time you lay a hand on me? I’ll hire Lucifer to do my dirty work for me and end your ass. Clear?”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No, you’re not. Although I do suggest not bitch slapping Justice in the face,” Anna said. Her cheek stung just enough to be uncomfortable, Hector’s handprint already burning red on the pale, pale skin of her face. “Get out, Hector.” He kept his eyes on her for a moment longer, finally nodding before walking out of her office. He closed the door behind him. Anna sighed, laying a hand on her cheek.

Very few options between Heaven and Hell or not, she still couldn’t believe she used to date the bastard.


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MoD – Chapter One

NOT EDITED

Sunday: September 4, 2016

Miles sat on the bedroom’s carpeted floor, legs folded Indian style, elbows resting on his knees, hands locked together in front of him. A young girl stood behind him, playing with his dark hair. “What style we going for today, Kare?” he asked.

“Mm… lots of little ponytails, I think. Just, like, all over the place,” the girl said.

Miles chuckled. “Of course. Have at it, then.” Karen Hawkes, only seven years old, was still young enough that she could see Miles while he presented himself in his human form, which is what he tended to remain in. He much preferred the fashion and personality that came with his human form to the utter nothingness that came with his black and silver smoky, spirited form, even when he was in Hell.

For all seven years of the young girl’s life, he had worked to keep her safe and protect her soul from any untimely doom. His boss, Fate, assigned him to the job the very day the child was born, and Miles had done everything he possibly could for her since.

Born with a rare and severe autoimmune disease, the child had always been at risk of dying long before her soul reached its official expiration date. It was Miles’s job to make sure that didn’t happen, for when a human died before their soul expired, it remained trapped on Earth for years upon years, living in pain and anger.

“How’s your pain today, Kare?” Miles asked.

“It’s okay. Daddy already gave me my meds and my shot,” Karen said. She combed her fingers through his hair, shaking her head almost distastefully. “Your hair’s gross, Miles. It’s all greasy.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll fix that for ya, okay?”

“Okay.”

Miles lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. His scalp warmed, the smell of mint enveloping them both. Karen giggled, pushing her fingers back into his soft hair. “Better?”

“Much.” Karen looked around the room for a moment before a frown formed on her little face. “Do you have any hair thingies?”

“Hold out your hands.” Karen did as told, and when Miles snapped his fingers this time, a pile of small, elastic hair ties appeared in her hands. She grinned, setting them on the footstool at her side. Miles looked down at his watch. He had to be in Texas for a harvest in an hour, but he was in no rush. For him, the trip between Seattle and Austin was nothing but a blink of an eye.

He figured that was an advantage to being an immortal being caught somewhere between Demon and Angel.

Karen looked back over her shoulder as the door to her room opened. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hey, baby.” Ryan Hawkes stepped into the bedroom, a plate of apple slices in his hand. “Is Miles here?”

“Yeah! I’m doing his hair.”

Ryan smiled softly. “Sweet. You’ll do great, baby. Where is he? I don’t wanna set the plate on him.”

“You can just put it on his lap, Daddy. He’s right here,” Karen said, patting the top of Miles’s head. Miles closed his eyes, forcing himself to release the strength in his legs while summoning enough in his hands to keep him propped up on the floor. The plate touched the floor as Ryan set it down on Miles’s lap, a glaring chill ripping through Miles’s leg and snaking up his spine. As far as Ryan was concerned, Miles was Karen’s imaginary best friend. Since Ryan was too old to see him, doing everything he could to feed into that belief was his best option.

Or, at the very least, it was a better option than Ryan setting a plate down on what he would see as thin air and it… simply remaining there, floating.

“Make sure to eat, baby,” Ryan said, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple.

“Okay, Daddy.”

Once Ryan left, Miles opened his eyes and picked up the plate. He allowed his strength to course back through his legs and set the plate down on his thigh instead. “Just tell me when you want a slice.”

“Okay, Mi-Mi.”

On Earth, Miles tended to feel like a ghost. He was invisible to most people, and more often than not, people walked right through him. He was capable of disappearing between walls—he had even accidentally slipped through the floor once while Karen was combing his hair—and he could muster up the strength to let people touch him. This was what he did for Karen. Without the strength, her hands would slip right through his face, which was a sensation Miles had never quite enjoyed, to say the least.

“Apple,” Karen said.

Miles picked up an apple slice and held it back over his shoulder. Karen leaned down to grab it between her teeth. “Anything special planned today?”

“Daddy wants to go to the park,” Karen said after a moment. “The sun feels good most days.”

“That’s good. The sun’ll help you feel better, make you stronger.”

“I hope so. Daddy thinks it will, too. I don’t like feeling icky.” She held a hair tie on two of her fingers and gathered up a little section of Miles’s hair, promptly twisting the elastic around it. She giggled happily, tugging on the tiny ponytail atop his head to tighten it. Far too quickly, her laughter faded away. “Mom says the sun’s just the sun and it won’t do anything that the medicine hasn’t done. Am I gonna die, Miles?”

“I won’t let you.”

“Promise?”

Miles caught sight of her pinky finger in his peripheral. He wrapped his pinky around hers. “Promise.”

***

Miles wrapped a hand around the man’s upper arm as he walked down the sidewalk. He had to take two steps to match every single stride of the man’s, but he did it without complaint for the whole ten seconds it took for the soul to disconnect from the rest of the body. Soulless, the man walked out into the street. A bus driver laid on his horn and slammed on the brakes, but it didn’t matter. It was designed by Fate. Nothing they could have done could have stopped it.

The man’s body crumpled under the force of the bus before it skidded to a stop.

“I…”

“It can be alarming at first,” Miles said.

The man’s soul turned to stare at him. The hazy outline of all that remained of the man flashed between yellow and gray. Fear and confusion. Miles didn’t blame him. They usually came out fearful and confused or angry and looking for someone to blame. That someone usually ended up being Miles. He couldn’t blame them for that, either. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re dead, Gary,” Miles said. “I’m sorry. It happens when we least expect it.”

“What is…? What happens now?” the man, Gary, asked, his voice unsteady.

“Now you get to move on. I know what happened is hard, but now you get to leave Earth and move onto your Afterlife.” Miles laid a hand on Gary’s shoulder and turned him around. “That beautiful pink light over there?”

“That giant slit in the sky?” Gary asked.

“Yeah, that. That’s your happiness, Gary. Everything that ever made you happy is waiting for you there, in your own little world,” Miles said.

“Really?”

“Really.”

The yellow surrounding Gary’s soul faded, and bright orange quickly replaced it. Curiosity. “So I just… walk through it? And that’s it?”

“That’s it. Walk right on through there, and you get to be happy for the rest of eternity, Gary.”

“Thank you,” Gary whispered, looking back at Miles over his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Miles smiled softly. “It’s what I’m here for.” He squeezed the man’s shoulder. “Move on and be happy, Gary.” The man looked away from Miles and headed down the sidewalk. Miles watched Gary until he disappeared. The pink light dissolved in the sky after him, returning to nothing but a boring blue.

Miles turned around and walked the opposite way, away from the confusion and noise that arose as an aftermath of the bus accident. He pulled his phone from his pocket as it dinged, quickly stepping out of the way of a jogging man. The man’s hand still managed to slip through his chest. Miles shivered, rolling his shoulders back. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to that.

He unlocked his screen and opened the text message from his boss.

The F-Man: One of your souls dies within the next three days, no exceptions.

Miles stumbled, grabbing the signpost at the corner. His breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, he could feel his heart racing in his chest, even though it hadn’t beat even once in over a hundred years. He couldn’t allow those twelve words to come true, or he’d never be the same again.

He loved each of his three protected souls. Fate couldn’t just rip one of them out from under him now. He couldn’t!

Could he?


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MoD – Prologue

NOT EDITED

It’s entirely unavoidable, entirely inevitable. While some choose to take death into their own hands and choose to take away their life on their own time, the majority of people aren’t in control of the overarching process or the outcome. They don’t know how or when they’ll die. They don’t know if they’ll be alone when it happens or if they’ll be surrounded by family and loved ones. They don’t know if they’ll be in pain as they gasp for their last breath of air or if they’ll live in bliss for that last moment before they simply close their eyes for the final time.

The fear of death is the second most common fear in the United States, wedged right in between public speaking at number one and spiders at number three.

Three hundred and twenty-three-point-four million people, and two hundred nineteen thousand, nine hundred and twelve of them are scared of dying. It’s a combination fear, one that isn’t simply fear of just the obvious, a fear of just death. It’s more than what it seems on the surface. People who fear death aren’t solely scared of the act of dying in itself. It’s a deeply profound fear, a fear of darkness, seclusion, and the unknown. It’s a fear of the Valkyries of Norse, Thanatos of Greece, the Grim Reaper of modern times.

Today, that fear is of Miles, a short little immortal being that lives in the uppermost level of Hell. Harvesting most souls and tasked with protecting the lives and well-being of three others, he can’t help that sixty-eight percent of Americans fear him. Inherently, he’s the bad guy in all of their stories, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

After all, the little Reaper’s just doing his job.


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Books & Badges – Chapter Forty-Three

NOT EDITED

Theodore awoke in the darkness of Russell’s living room. He glanced around for a moment, his brow furrowed. He didn’t feel Russell behind him, nor was the man’s arm still wrapped around him. He sat up, reaching out to grab his cane from where Russell had leaned it against the end table.

Pushing himself to his feet, Theodore rubbed at his eye with his free hand. After a little bit of walking around, Theodore made his way back to Russell’s office. He cracked open the door, eyes landing on Russell. He sat in the middle of the floor, papers spread out all around him.

“Russ?”

Russell lifted his head, though he didn’t turn around.

Theodore cleared his throat. “Russell?”

This time, he turned to look at him. “Hey. What’re you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same question, Russ.”

“Just… working through it all.”

“You need to sleep, Russ.”

“Yeah… I know. I’ll get there.”

Theodore walked into the room, stopping at Russell’s side. Tentatively, he laid a hand on the back of Russell’s head, burying his fingers in the detective’s dark hair. Russell let out a long breath, dropping his head to rest on Theodore’s leg. “Do you wanna talk about it, Russ?”

“I miss him,” Russell whispered.

“I know you do.”

“I just need this to all be over with. Christ, I keep hoping I’ll wake up and have a text from him, asking if we’re still meeting for coffee.”

“Of course you do. He was like a dad to you. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like if I lost my dad, and I spent a long time unrightfully angry at him because of Shane.”

Russell sniffled, tilting his head back to look at Theodore. “I have to see their faces every single day. Knowing that I have to look at them and pretend like I don’t think they murdered my partner and my fucking dad is…” He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can do it. That’s why I’m awake.”

“I know you can do it. You’re strong, Russell, and you’re tough as hell.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Russell offered a small smile, patting Theodore’s thigh before dropping his hand to the floor again. “I have a phone number for this cop that Vince knew. Police chief in L.A.. I-I think they were poker buddies or something, but Vince always said that if I needed something that I couldn’t get through the station, I should call this guy, tell him I’m Vince’s boy. I’m considering… using that number. Picked up the phone a few times already. That’s, umm, that’s another reason I’m awake.”

“What would you use it for?” Theodore asked.

“I don’t want Andrew to look for what these guys did or why they did it. It’s dangerous, and I-I can’t get him killed. But this guy… He could find that information for me.”

Theodore cleared his throat. “And Vince trusted this guy?”

“Yeah. A lot.”

“Well… for what it’s worth, based on what I know about you, I trust Vince’s judgment on him. And if you want to call this guy, I’m on your side.”

“You’re on my side,” Russell repeated. He chuckled, pulling away from Theodore. The chuckle quickly devolved into a sob. Theodore lowered himself to the floor, setting his cane aside as he pulled Russell to his chest with his free hand. Russell wrapped a hand around his arm, fingers biting into Theodore’s skin.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Theodore whispered, smoothing a hand over Russell’s hair. “It’s… it’s all gonna be okay.”

***

Theodore walked into the living room and held out a water bottle. Russell grabbed it, holding it to his chest as he whispered, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Theodore leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Russell’s head. He rounded the couch and sat down beside the man, holding his cane between his knees. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah. Guess I just needed to break for a little bit.” He offered a smile. “Sorry I broke after you told me you were on my side. I just… I’ve got Andrew and Emelia, but I haven’t had anyone blatantly say that kind of thing to me in so long. It’s weird to, uh, to feel cared for, I guess. I gotta take care of my mom and my brother, help make sure my sister’s bills get paid…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I-I just need you to know you didn’t say anything wrong. You just made me feel really fuckin’ nice.”

“You deserve to feel cared for, Russell. All you’ve done since we saw each other again at the bookstore is care for me, made me feel cared for. What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t return that favor for my boyfriend?”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “That sounds real nice coming outta your mouth. Boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” Theodore asked. Russell nodded. “It makes me nervous to say it, but I love the way it makes me feel when I think about it. All fluttery in my chest, y’know?”

“Yeah, that’s how I feel every time I think about you.”

Heat rose to Theodore’s cheeks. “You do?”

“Theo, thinkin’ about you makes me feel like I’m fawning over my first crush. You do all kinds of crazy fluttery things to me.”

“Good fluttery things?”

Russell snorted. “Yeah, very good.”

Theodore, despite being the one who had brought up the matter of feelings, desperately needed a change in topic. Shane had never been one for sharing anything, especially good things about the way being with Theodore felt. He wanted to be comfortable with it when it came to Russell, but he knew it would take much more time to get there.

He cleared his throat. “What’s your plan now? It’s almost four in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Russell said quietly. “I don’t know. If I can make progress today–good progress–then I can make tomorrow just for us and Vera, just for Halloween. And I want that so damn badly.”

“Do you know that guy’s number?”

“It’s in my office.”

Theodore nodded. “Then let’s go make some progress.”


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Update

Hey, guys!

While I’m still working to upload the rest of my books, I wanted to give you a super exciting update.

I finally purchased my website domain and enrolled in WordPress Ads! This means that just by viewing my website and scrolling through the ads, you are helping support me, my work, and helping make sure I can pay for the website next year.

For the first time since I started uploading first drafts of my books on any site, I’ll be able to make money off of my hard work. It won’t be a lot. I think it takes almost 100 ads to make a dollar or something like that, but it’ll still help, and that’s what matters most.

This also means I’ll post books I had initially planned on only publishing–the new first draft of Serial Killers Anonymous, the rewrite of Grimm Reaper, a Vampire detective book I just started not too long ago, the Carver-Baxter series, the eventual series about Jake and Alice. Etcetera.

It might take a couple weeks to fully update for all of you. The servers update differently in different countries, so it’ll update faster here in the US than, say, Africa or Asia, if that makes sense. This does not mean that you won’t be able to read my books! It just means that you may only being seeing ads by wordpress instead of ads that I earn from, and that you may being seeing the “(dot)wordpress(dot)com” in the URL instead of my new domain for a little while.

I’m going to get back to writing before I get into uploading the Blackout Killer again, but I just wanted to share some good news, since these last several weeks have been filled with so many struggles, lol. Thank you guys for sticking with me and being here. It means the world. ❤

Books & Badges – Chapter Forty-Two

NOT EDITED

Russell lifted his head at the little knock on his office door. A smile came to his face. “Hey, sweetheart.”

Vera smiled back at him. “Hi. Daddy told me to come tell you that we have food.”

“Awesome, thank you. I’ll be out in just a moment, okay?”

“Okay.” Vera walked out of the doorway, disappearing down the hall.

Russell slid his papers back into Vince’s file and tucked it into the top drawer of his desk. Pushing himself to his feet, he grabbed his phone. After flipping off the light and closing the door, Russell headed out to the kitchen. He laid a hand on Theodore’s back, pressing a kiss to his temple. “How was your day out?”

“It was… surprisingly good. I haven’t had a nice day out since shortly after I met Shane, I think.”

“Well, I’m glad you had a good day. How’d Vera get along with Boyd?”

“Great. They played a dance game on the Xbox, and then they chatted about how much they like each other’s names and how they mysteriously have the same birthday.”

Russell chuckled. “I’m glad she had a good day, too.”

“Yeah, me, too. She gets a lot more of those now, but I’m still happy every single time it’s a good one.”

“I hope you both eventually have so many good days that they become ‘normal days’ instead.”

“God, isn’t that the dream?”

“Always.” Russell pressed a kiss to Theodore’s shoulder. “Thank you for bringing supper.”

“Of course. I, umm, I hope you don’t mind, but Vera wanted tacos instead.”

“That’s fine with me. I’m not very picky.”

“Awesome.” Theodore cleared his throat, turning to face Russell. He leaned back against the counter, rested his cane against it, and laid his hands on Russell’s chest. Russell smiled, tucking his hands behind his back to avoid scaring off Theodore’s touch. “How was your day?”

“I’m making progress, so I guess, uh… ‘good’ is a solid answer,” Russell said.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I’m going to invite over a friend from the station over tonight to discuss the case. If you’d like to be there for it, I wouldn’t complain.”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “Okay, I’ll be there. After Vera goes to bed?”

“Yeah. I mean, in the assumption he comes over, anyway.”

“He will. He’s your best friend–I’m assuming–for a reason.”

“Yeah. He usually doesn’t stand me up, but… I don’t know. The shit this case is bringing out has me questioning damn near everything I thought I knew.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe talking to your friend will make you feel a bit better.”

“Maybe,” Russell mumbled. He dropped his forehead to Theodore’s shoulder, snaking his arms around the man’s waist. “This okay?”

“This is fine.” Theodore moved a hand to the back of his head, burying his fingers in Russell’s dark hair. “Ready to go eat? Or do you wanna stay here a moment?”

“If you’re okay with it… I’d like to stay here for just a bit longer.”

“That’s fine with me, Russ. You’ve done nothing but support me every time I’ve needed it. I’ll do the same for you.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered.

“No problem.”

***

Much like Theodore had promised, Andrew had come over to talk about the case without any complaint. Russell led him into the living room. “Andrew, this is Theo. Theo, Andrew.”

Andrew flashed that charming detective smile of his, sticking out a hand. “Theo the boyfriend?”

“Hope so,” Theodore said, grabbing Andrew’s hand. “You’re one of the detectives that works with Russell?”

“Sure am. Been friends with the shithead since Police Academy.”

Theodore chuckled, wrapping his hand around Russell’s arm. He has chosen to keep his cane out of reach while Andrew was there. Though he trusted Russell, he didn’t want to appear weak or vulnerable in front of another man. Russell couldn’t blame him for that, even though he knew Andrew would never in his life harm Theodore.

“So, umm, Theo’s gonna stick around for this conversation. If that’s cool with you,” Russell said.

“It’s your case, man. Long as he isn’t a suspect, you can tell him whatever you want. I’m not gonna tattle on you.”

“Thanks.” Russell gestured to the couch with one and helped Theodore sit down, dropping down beside him. Andrew grabbed the case file from the couch, perching himself on the edge of the coffee table. “There’s a lot of notes and transcripts in there, so I can give you a basic rundown on all of it and then pitch my thoughts, or I can just let you read it and pitch my thoughts after.”

“I trust your rundown, but I am going to have the folder open while you talk. I can remember details better if I can read them. Okay?” Andrew asked.

Russell nodded. “All right.”

Andrew flipped open the folder, clearing his throat. “All right, Russ. Walk me through.”

“In August of 2015, a Glock 17 Gen5 was stolen in Oklahoma. On November twenty-fourth, three months later, Lauren was shot five times in an alleyway on her way home from shopping. She was walking that day because her car wouldn’t start. Her car wouldn’t start because the ignition cable was missing. According to the file, she removed the cable and stuck it in her glovebox.

“Now, the glovebox thing is true. It was in her glovebox, but not because she removed it, and not because she put it there. I looked into the traffic camera footage from that morning, and I saw a car pull up and park a ways past the house. A man–I’m assuming–got out of the driver’s seat, pulled the ignition cable from Lauren’s car, put it in the glovebox, got back in his car, and drove away. I ran the license plate. It belongs to a woman named Marilyn Briggs. She reported it stolen around six PM on November twenty-second, which is when she and her husband returned home for the day.”

“You got the file for it?” Andrew asked.

“No, I put in a request. Still waiting.” Russell raked a hand through his hair. “I went and spoke to Mrs. Briggs. There was never a follow-up for her missing vehicle, and it was never found. She had even given the cops security cam footage, but she never heard back on that, either.”

“Jesus.” Andrew cleared his throat. “Do you have the footage?”

“Her granddaughter sent me a copy today,” Russell said with a nod. “I watched it. A person in a hoodie stole the car about an hour after she and her husband left that day, hotwired it. I sent it to Ellie for a height comparison against the person that took out Lauren’s ignition cable. Five-foot-five for both videos, which is too short to be the between six-foot and six-foot-two shooter that killed Lauren and Vince.”

After a moment, Andrew nodded. “So this is a two-person job?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“All right. Remind me again of what ties Lauren to Vince?”

“The shooter is estimated to be the same height, they were both shot with stolen weapons, they were both shot five times, they were both shot off-duty, and both of their badges were stolen.”

Andrew nodded, setting the folder down beside him. He looked down for a moment, twisting his wedding band around his finger. “I already know what you’re gonna say, and I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I.”

“You have any cops in mind?”

“All I’m saying is that Clouse and her scumbag partner are the right heights.”

“Jesus,” Andrew whispered. Elbows digging into his thighs, he clasped his hands in front of his mouth.

“You think… a cop from your station killed two of their own?” Theodore asked.

“I don’t want to think it or believe it, but it’s where my mind has gone, yeah,” Russell said quietly.

Theodore laid a hand on his back. “Why would they have killed them?”

“Corruption. Maybe Vince and Lauren saw or heard something they shouldn’t have.”

“This stays between the three of us,” Andrew said, holding out a hand to gesture between their trio of conspiracists. “We don’t talk about this at the station, we don’t talk about it on our phones, we don’t talk about it in our emails. We talk about it face-to-face, and we talk about it here or at my place. We clear?”

“We’re clear.”

“Good. Em and I are still working that cold case, so I’ll help look into this when I can. You stay with the shit you’ve got now. The stolen guns, the stolen car. You stick with that. I’m gonna see if I can feel out what kind of corruption at the station we’re dealing with.”

“How the hell would you do that?”

“There’s been talk of replacing the sergeant in Narcotics. Not promoting him. Replacing him. I’m gonna find out why.” Andrew squeezed Russell’s knee before pushing himself to his feet. “We’ll figure this out, Russ. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Russell whispered.

Andrew nodded. “We’ll talk soon. I’ll see myself out. You both do your best to enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You, too, Andy.” Russell dropped his head to his hands as Andrew walked out of the room. “So… that’s where my brain’s been.”

“That’s what you mean when you said you needed time away from it before you became a conspiracy theorist, uh?”

“Yeah.”

Theodore rubbed a hand down his spine. “I’m sorry, Russell. None of this has been easy for you, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Thank you.” Russell drew in a deep breath, letting it out as he scrubbed his hands down his face. “After this is over, will you let me take you and Vera out to a relaxing, celebratory weekend lunch or something?”

“I’d love that.”

“Awesome,” Russell whispered. He sat up, offering a smile as he turned toward Theodore. “I’m sorry about all this, Theo.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“This maybe corruption shit. It’s hard enough to date a cop. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to. But on top of the normal… shit that comes with it, now you’ve gotta deal with the possibility that two of my favorite people were killed because a few people there might be corrupt.”

Theodore nodded, hand still moving over Russell’s spine. He hadn’t had someone around to rub his back like that in so damn long. To say it felt amazing still came up as an understatement. “It scares me. I can’t deny that. But you being a cop scares me, too. Knowing some people have it out for you because of the badge scares me. But I like you. I want you. Long as you keep being good to me and Vera, I’m going to keep dealing with that fear to keep being with you.”

Russell laid a hand on Theodore’s cheek, leaning up slightly to kiss his forehead. “Thank you.”

“No problem. But I totally don’t need thanks for my personal, factual opinion.”

A little smile tugged at one corner of Russell’s mouth. “No, but you deserve thanks for it. The difference is pretty minute, but it’s still important.”

“In that case, thank you.” Theodore pushed his fingers through Russell’s hair, brushing it away from his forehead. “Any chance you’d like to show me that secret master section of the house?”

“I could, yeah.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to. If there’s a reason you don’t want to, I’m okay with that.”

Russell offered a smile. “It’s okay.” He patted Theodore’s thigh and pushed himself to his feet. He stuck out a hand. “Come on.” Theodore grabbed his hand, accepting the help to his feet without complaint. Russell led him through the kitchen and down the hall there. With a short exhale, he pushed open the door to the master bedroom and flipped on the light. “Here you go.”

“This is… decorated. Pictures, covers on the bed…” Theodore stepped into the room before turning to face Russell. “Who lived here?”

“My older brother. It’s his place. Umm, I moved in after he was moved to rehab.”

“Like, injury rehab, or drug rehab?”

“Injury first, drugs second.” Russell cleared his throat and led Theodore over to the bed so he could sit down again. “Remember when you asked why I knew I had to be a cop?” Theodore nodded. “My older brother was a lawyer. I was going to school to become one, too. And then… his depression got worse, and his stress got worse, and he had a breakdown of sorts. His neighbor called the cops and, eventually, he pointed his gun at one of them. They shot him. The bullet embedded itself in his spine, doubling as a constant source of pain and taking away his ability to walk without extensive therapy.

“Rustin PD never had a training course on how to deal with mental illness or how to talk someone down from that dangerous state. I wanted that to change, and if nothing else, I wanted there to be even one damn cop in Rustin that knew what it was like, that knew how to stay level, that knew not to discharge a weapon on someone who wants to die.”

“I’m so sorry, Russell.”

“Me, too.” Russell offered a chuckle, shaking his head. “Nothing helped with his pain, so he turned to drugs. It was in moderation at first, I’ll give him that. But the problem with moderation is that it’s eventually not enough, y’know? The body gets used to it, needs more of it. It’s just… how it works.”

“Where is he now?”

“Rehab again. He took another dive back into it after being clean for seven months, almost eight. He’s really good in the wheelchair, and he’s making progress with learning to walk with a walker, but the pain is crippling somedays. That’s when he folds.” Russell cleared his throat, clasping his hands between his thighs. “I leave the master bedroom and bathroom untouched in the hope he’ll be able to come back and stay here long-term someday. But deep down, I know it’s nothing but a pipedream. Even he’s told me to stop clinging to that hope. But it’s hard.”

“God, Russ, I can only imagine. Actually, I can’t even imagine what… any of this is like. I mean, my family has very little history of mental health issues, and even less drug and alcohol abuse.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be able to imagine it. Hell, I hope you never have the ability to imagine it. Just talking about it is… nice.”

Theodore wrapped an arm around Russell’s shoulder. “I’m glad talking about it helps, even if only a little bit. You do the same damn thing for me every single time you let me talk about Shane.”

“Mm… Paying it forward and whatnot. It’d be unhealthy if I refused to listen to any of the trust issues you have because of Shane. We’d never progress or move forward.” Russell wrapped his arms around Theodore, leaning down enough to drop his head to Theodore’s chest. He closed his eyes as Theodore moved a hand to the side of his head. “I like the hell outta you, Theo.”

Theodore chuckled softly, combing his fingers through Russell’s hair. “I like you, too, Russell.”

“We can, uh… we can sleep in here if you want to. You shouldn’t have to keep sleeping on the couch.”

“I can manage the couch, Russell. You slept on the couch and the floor for me, and that was before we were dating. I can handle the couch for a little while longer.”

“The only reason I refuse to take this room for myself is because I like to pretend he’ll be coming back, but even if he stays out of rehab, he doesn’t want the house back.” Russell laid his hand on Theodore’s chest, lifting his head to meet the other man’s eyes. “The sheets are clean. I change ‘em halfway through every month so they smell nice. I need a shower, but if you wanna watch Nurse Jackie after that, we can. And then we can… move in here and sleep, if you don’t have an issue with that.”

Theodore shook his head. “As long as you’re sure it’s what you’d like to do, I have no issue with us sleeping in here. But, I still think it should wait until next time, whether that’s tomorrow or the day after. If Vera were to wake up, come out to the living room, and find us both gone… We should wait until next time. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine with me, Theo.” Russell pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You want me to help you back into the living room?”

“I’d appreciate that, yeah. Thank you.”

Russell offered a smile. “No problem, Theo.”


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