NOT EDITED

Theodore stood in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom, one hand wrapped tightly around his cane. He’d been in a bit more pain that day than expected, but he was doing his best to manage. His boss had given him a chair to sit on behind the register, but Theodore had done his best to stand and walk around for as long as he could. Based on how he felt now, that had been the wrong decision.

His eyes roamed over the outfit he had changed into–a blue button-up and a pair of dark jeans. He didn’t think it looked date-worthy, which was the overall hope. He wasn’t going for date clothes. He was going for ‘I’m just not planning on wearing my beat up band tee from college to supper’ clothes.

Was it too late to cancel? Theodore turned to look at his alarm clock on the nightstand. Yeah… far too late to cancel. Unless he wanted to be a total asshole, of course. As it stood, being a complete asshole to the cop who had come to the house at three in the morning–off-duty–to check out a noise that had turned out to only be a raccoon wasn’t in his plans for the day.

“Daddy! He’s here!” Vera called from the other room.

He stepped away from the mirror, letting out a slow breath. “Coming, sweetheart!” Well, there was definitely no canceling now. Theodore walked out of his bedroom, flipping off the light. Vera waited for him in the foyer, her stuffed toy panda hugged to her chest. “Ready?” Theodore asked as he wrapped a hand around the door knob.

Vera nodded. “Are… you?”

Theodore smiled. “You don’t gotta worry about me, V. I’m okay.” He pulled open the door just as Russell climbed out of his car, parked in the driveway rather than on the street.

The detective smiled. “Look what I brought.” Pinning the tupperware containers to his chest, he held up Theodore’s travel mug with his free hand.

Theodore chuckled. “Impressive. Come on in.” Russell walked up the drive. Eyes on the ground, he made his way up the stairs and onto the deck. “Here, I’ll take the mug, if nothing else.”

Russell let go of it once Theodore had successfully wrapped his free hand around it. “So I kept my promise. I didn’t spend a dime. We’ve got chicken nuggets for the kiddo, and we’ve got chicken breast for you and me. Also mac and cheese to go with the nuggets, if Miss Vera is interested, and we have some real fancy cumin-citrus roasted carrots for you and me.”

Theodore’s heart practically melted. “You did… all of that for us?”

Russell’s smile faltered for the briefest of moments, and Theodore wasn’t even certain he’d seen it happen at all. “I did, yeah. You guys have had a rough go of it lately. The least I can do is make some great food for the both of you.” Chin resting on the lid of the top tupperware container, he reached back with his free hand to close the door. After dusting his hand on his pants, he held it out to Vera. “I’m Russell.”

She looked up at Theodore before grabbing the detective’s hand. “My name’s Vera.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Vera. You wanna help me carry some of these to the kitchen?”

Vera’s eyes lit up at the idea of being allowed to help an adult with something. She loved being included in everything there was to do in the world. Theodore loved that about her. “I’d love to!”

“Okay. The two on the bottom are yours. You can take those,” Russell said.

“Okay.” Vera took them from him and headed for the kitchen.

Russell lifted his eyes back to Theodore’s face and flashed a smile. “Come on. Let’s get supper ready.”

***

After supper, Theodore set Vera up with his iPad in the living room. “One hour of screen time, baby girl.”

“Thanks, Daddy.”

“Ah, you’re very welcome.” He smoothed a hand over her hair and headed back to the kitchen. In the doorway, he leaned on his cane, head cocked to the side. Russell was… washing dishes. No one had washed dishes for him since… Christ, who knew. It certainly hadn’t been his husband, that was for sure.

“You don’t have to do that,” Theodore said. “I can do them later.”

“Do you want to do them later?”

Theodore snorted. “No.”

“Then I’ll take care of them. I don’t mind.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, Theodore.”

“Theo’s fine.”

Russell nodded. “Do you prefer it?”

“Yeah, most of the time. I-I’ll let you know if that changes.”

“Sure thing, Theo.”

Theodore leaned back against the island, simply watching Russell. If he had been Shane, he would’ve been washing dishes to use it as ammunition later, a reason to throw back at Theodore to excuse his own behavior.

But Russell was just… washing dishes in a house that wasn’t even his own, for a person he had no physical reason to wash them for. But that couldn’t be right. That wouldn’t make sense.

“Russell?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a question… without offending or harming you?”

“Uh, probably.”

“And… you’ll answer truthfully?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Russell set the last fork in the dish drainer, turned off the water, and grabbed a towel. After drying off the sink, he turned to face Theodore, drying his hands. “What’s up?”

“Why did you want to make supper for us?”

“Because you and your daughter have had a pretty tough go of life so far. Supper isn’t much, but it’s… something.”

“And… dishes?” Theodore asked. “Why would you do them?”

“You were with your daughter, and we both know you’re in a lot more pain this evening than you were this morning. Standing doesn’t seem to be treating your hip too well today.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“You winced every time you stood up or shifted on your chair.”

Theodore sighed. “Yeah, that, uh… Yeah. It’s not treating me well today,” he agreed.

“Yeah, that’s what I figured. I just wanna help, Theo. I’m not here to… Well, I guess you think I’m gonna hurt you or Vera. I’m not. I understand the weariness, and I’ll never stand here and tell you to just get over it, but I’m not… your ex-husband. I didn’t come here to hurt you. I came here to make sure you both ate good food and had a good night. That’s it.”

“And you… promise that?”

“Do you actually believe in promises?” Russell asked.

Christ, it was like the man could read his mind. Finally, Theodore shook his head. “No. Shane promised never to do it again a million times. Promises of no more pain, a better life, a better job, a better father and husband…” He shrugged. “None of those promises were ever carried out. Promises are BS.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. What can I say that would make you more willing to believe it?” Russell asked.

“Who’s someone that’s important to you? Someone who… means the world to you.”

“My niece,” Russell said. There had been absolutely no hesitation there. His niece definitely meant the world to him.

Theodore nodded. “You could swear on her.”

“I swear on my niece’s life that I am not here to hurt you or Vera. I’m just here to make sure you both eat a good meal and have a good night. That’s it,” Russell said.

While Shane had the eyes of a charming, practiced liar, Russell had the eyes of a caring and genuine man. Theodore had seen the same care in his mother and father’s eyes, the same genuine expression in Gina’s.

“Okay. I believe you.” Theodore pointed at him. “For now.”

“For now works. I’ve definitely had people say worse.” Russell cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose I’ll get outta your hair and head on out for the night. I hope everything was okay.”

“The food was great, Russell. Thank you.”

The detective nodded. “Yeah, no problem.” He reached out toward Theodore, hand freezing before he dropped it back to his side.

Theodore’s brow furrowed. “What was that?”

“I was gonna squeeze your arm, but… I’m not a big fan of surprising you or startling you.”

“Believe me, an arm squeeze is the least of my concern,” Theodore said.

Russell smiled. He gave Theodore’s arm a quick squeeze as he walked past him. He grabbed the tupperware containers from the island, holding them to his chest with one hand. “It was good to see you… less scared tonight, Theo, even if you were in pain. If there’s ever a, uh, next time for me bringing supper for you guys? Doing the dishes? All that? Umm, feel free to cancel if you need to, even if I’m already in the driveway. If you’re in too much pain to be around people or if you’re too on edge to be around people. You can cancel. If there’s a next time.”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you again, Russell.”

“No problem.”

“Want me to walk you out?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. You go ahead and sit down, relax. I’ll see myself out. Goodnight, Theo.”

“Night, Russell. Uh… don’t let the raccoon bite.”

Russell chuckled. “I’ll watch myself, promise. Take care, Theo.”

Theodore nodded. “You, too.”

---

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---

NOT EDITED

Russell perched himself on the corner of Andrew’s desk, crossing his ankles.

Andrew glanced up at him. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I need an adult.”

Andrew snorted. “What do you want?”

“I’m making supper for someone tonight, hopefully making them feel better about some things. And returning this here travel mug,” Russell said, holding out Theodore’s mug. “I wanted to just bring supper over, but I was told I couldn’t spend a dime on him.”

“You can’t cook. At all.”

“That’s where you and Emey come in.”

“What do we come in for?” Emelia asked as she sat down at her desk, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand.

“Russell thinks we’re making supper for him and his date,” Andrew said, leaning back in his desk chair.

“No, no. Not my date. Just a guy and his daughter that I’m treating to supper. They could both use the mood booster,” Russell said.

Emilia raised a brow. “Why?”

“Why… what?”

“Why could they use the mood booster?”

“They’ve had a hard time this year.”

“Hmm.”

“Come on! You guys can cook. How is it fair or right to have the ability to cook but refuse to bless others with it?” Russell asked.

Andrew laughed. He held up a relatively thick folder. “How about because we’re detectives and have just been put on rotation for this cold case, and this is all the paperwork we need to go through in search of a lead?”

“Okay, okay. So how about I help go through paperwork, and you guys make supper for my friend–”

“Date.”

“Not a date, fuck off.”

Andrew hid a smile behind his coffee mug. Emilia only shook her head, leaning over to backhand her husband’s shoulder. “You had me at ‘help go through paperwork’. What do you, your friend, and friend’s daughter want for supper?”

“I don’t know. I’m not an expert in appropriate suppers. I either order in or have, like, cereal or ramen when it’s just me. I have no idea what you feed a guy and his daughter,” Russell said.

“Okay. So… you didn’t ask what either of them liked?”

“I did not.”

Emilia nodded. “So I would go ahead and text the guy and ask him if he has any preferences for food, and tell him that includes any preferences his daughter has. Come tell us when you know.”

Russell jumped down from his perch on Andrew’s desk. “Thanks, Emey.”

She smiled. “Of course, Russ. Tomorrow, bright and early, paperwork.”

“Deal.”

***

Around noon, Theodore texted Russell back with a few things that he liked and a few things that his daughter, Vera, liked. Before Russell had a chance to respond, Theodore sent in a second message.

Theodore: If you don’t like any of the things she likes, you don’t have to make food. Vera and I will be okay with cereal again. Or something easy, in the microwave. Don’t strain yourself for me. I’m okay just getting my mug back if that’s the only thing you want to do.

Russell: Nonsense. I have no problem making two meals if I have to. It’s not a strain at all.

Russell: But if you don’t want me to make supper, let me know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Theodore: I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just

Theodore: I don’t know. I guess I’m nervous. It feels like a date, and I don’t want to be dating anybody.

Russell: It’s not a date. It’s me making supper as a thank you for coffee

Russell: Ah, and a thank you for all of our great early morning conversations

Theodore: Ha

Theodore: Really though?

Russell: Really. If it was a date, I would’ve asked you out on a date. I would’ve used the actual word. I don’t want to mislead you, Theo. You have enough to work through as is. I don’t want to add onto the world you’ve got resting on your shoulders.

Theodore: Yeah, my bad hip has a hard enough time supporting that weight as is

Russell snorted, rolling his eyes.

Theodore: Thank you. I appreciate that. The knowing and the respectfulness. Thank you.

Russell: No problem, Theodore. You let me know if something changes. Otherwise, I’ll see you tonight after I get off from work.

Theodore: Okay, see you then

Russell locked his screen and tucked his phone back into his pocket. He pushed his chair out from his desk and rolled his way over to the space between Andrew and Emilia’s desks. “So, the kid likes chicken nuggets. Like, she’ll eat just about anything–and I have a pretty good idea why–but her favorite is chicken nuggets. Theo says–”

“Theo?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah. Theo. That’s the friend,” Russell said.

Andrew nodded. “Okay. Continue.”

“He says that he’s also pretty used to eating whatever food he’s given, uh, but if I was making him pick a favorite, he’s a fan of, like, perfectly seasoned chicken breast,” Russell said.

“So which one do you wanna do?” Andrew asked.

Russell offered a smile. “I was thinking both. I-I know you guys… don’t know these two, but they both deserve it. They’ve been through hell and back, and that hell lasted for several years. They both deserve their favorite things. I’ll go through all that damn paperwork if you want me to. I’ll help with the food and with case stuff in whatever way I can.”

Andrew leaned back in his chair, eyes shifting over to his wife’s face. “Whaddya think, Em?”

“We’ve been eating out a lot recently. It wouldn’t kill us to make the food and make enough chicken for the both of us, too,” Emilia said. She looked over at Russell, a smile on her face. “We’ll make supper for you and your friend. And the kid. You’re not allowed to spend money on it, right?”

“Right. And thank you.”

“Of course.” Emilia pulled open one of the bottom drawers of her desk and opened her purse. A moment later, she handed her debit card over to him. “You still know the pincode?”

“Yes?”

“Good. I’ll text you a recipe for the chicken breast. Get everything on the list. I’ll text you a few things to get as sides, too. Okay?”

“Are you sure?” Russell asked.

“Positive. You took a bullet for me, remember?” Emilia asked.

Russell snorted. “You also got shot that day.”

“Yeah, but you were first. Now get your ass outta here before I change my mind.”

“Ah, of course, Buchanan.” He rolled his chair back a good foot or two. “I’m gonna take my lunch break and run to the grocery store, then. Want me to grab you guys anything for lunch?”

“Arby’s? Fries and a… roast beef?” Andrew asked.

“Can do. Emey?”

“Ditto for me.”

“Awesome. Back in a bit. And thank you, again,” Russell said.

“Sure thing, Russ.”

***

Emilia handed three tupperware containers over to Russell before crossing her arms over her chest. “Everything’s separated so the sides don’t mix with the chicken breast or chicken nugget. A lot of kids won’t eat things if they touch, and some adults can be the same way.” She smiled. “Didn’t wanna take any risks.”

“You’re the best, Emey, thank you,” Russell said.

“Thanks, and you’re very welcome.”

“Do I look okay? I wanna look nice, but I don’t want to look too nice.”

“You don’t want it to look like you’re on a date,” Emelia said. Russell only nodded. Thankfully, she was a bit better with words than he was. “I think you look nice, Russ. The sweater is a nice middle ground on date-fancy and casual-fancy.”

Russell let out a relieved breath. “Thanks, Emey.”

“No problem.” Lightly, she punched his shoulder, a smile coming back to her face. “Have fun, okay? And then tomorrow, you’re stuck with Andrew and me on paperwork duty.”

He smiled. “Deal. Thank you, again.”

“Of course. Now get your ass outta here before you thank me again.”

His smile broadened as he took a step back. “Will do.” He lifted the tupperware containers. “See you tomorrow, Emey.”

“See you then, Russ.”

---

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Updates every Wednesday!

---

NOT EDITED

Theodore leaned back against the front door, letting out a heavy breath. Tonight wasn’t a date, not in the slightest, but his sudden onslaught of nervousness made him feel like it was. He hated that feeling. Theodore had no real plans to start dating again anytime soon. He had more than enough to deal with from his last relationship first.

“Daddy?”

Theodore’s eyes snapped open. He tilted his head down to meet his daughter’s eyes. “Hey, baby girl.”

“Hi.” She tilted her head to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, of course. I’m fine sweetheart. Went out for a little bit of air, is all. And then I needed a little break.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Not anymore. I just needed a break from the cane for a moment.”

“Oh, okay.”

Theodore cleared his throat. “Are you hungry, sweetheart?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Anything sound good to you?”

“Umm… we can do eggs.”

“Okay, I’m good with that. Fried or scrambled?”

“If we do scrambled, can I help?” Vera asked.

Theodore smiled. “Of course, sweetheart. I’m always happy to have your help in the kitchen.”

Vera returned his smile. “Awesome.” She held out one little hand. “Come on. I’ll help you to the kitchen, Daddy.”

Theodore grabbed her hand, touching his cane to the wall as he pushed himself away from the door. “Thanks, Vera.”

“You’re welcome, Daddy.”

***

Gina set Theodore’s coffee on the counter before he even made it up there. “Are you going to let me pay for this one?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Ugh. You’re such a pain in the ass.”

Gina grinned. “You love me.”

“Some days more than others.” Theodore grabbed the coffee cup from the counter, leaning on his cane a bit heavier than before. “When are you going to let me pay for them again?”

“After you get your first paycheck.”

“Okay, I guess I can live with that”

“Great.” Gina leaned down, crossing her arms over the counter. “I was babysitting for my brother last night. Couldn’t get the baby to sleep, so I took her for a drive, ended up going past your house. There was a cop car sitting out there. I mean… just one of those unmarked Dodges, but it had the lights on top. Was everything okay?”

He let out a harsh breath. “Yeah, everything was fine. I heard a noise outside and I called the detective that I met once before after he spotted my ex after the… thing. Umm…” He cleared his throat. “He came over to check out the noise for me. It was a racoon, so now I’m getting nice and paranoid, too.”

“You have every right to be paranoid, Theo.”

“He didn’t beat me because he snuck into the house, Gina. He beat me because he’d been doing it for years, living inside my house, sleeping with me in my bed.”

“I know,” she said, her voice soft. “But where he was or how he was inside doesn’t change the fact that you have every right to be paranoid. It’s understandable why you are or… or why you were. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Well, thank you. I think.” He set the coffee cup back on the counter, leaning forward slightly. “I… I felt guilty about making him drive out there for a damn raccoon, and I felt even worse for asking him to stay, but I just… Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I gave him coffee when he left, and he asked if he could make me and Vera supper when he returned the mug.”

“What’d you say?” Gina asked.

“Yes, so long as he didn’t spend any money.”

“Does that make you nervous? Not the money thing. The supper thing. Because you look like it makes you nervous.”

“I know it’s not a date, but my mind keeps telling me it is, and it puts me on edge. It… it, like, activates my fight or flight, and I’m not much of a fighter,” Theodore said.

“Believe it or not, you’re more of a fighter than you could ever imagine. Just because you didn’t physically attack that bastard doesn’t mean you aren’t a fighter,” Gina said. Theodore offered a shrug. “Maybe you should give the detective a call and tell him you aren’t up for supper right now.”

“I can’t cancel on him. He’s been nothing but kind to me. He drove over to my house at three in the morning for a raccoon, Gina.”

“He didn’t know it was a raccoon. Neither did you.”

Theodore sighed. “Still. He’s too nice for me just tell him not to come back. I already told him we could do supper.”

“Right, but if it sets off your flight or fight response, canceling is the best option you have. If not that, you could reschedule. That’s not canceling. It’s promising it’ll happen on a different day,” Gina said.

“Maybe. But, umm, I already told Vera we’d be having supper with a detective at the house tonight. I wanted to give her time to prepare for that. She’s not as nervous for that as I am–she was pretty excited–but I can’t reschedule on her,” Theodore said. “She’s my baby girl. She needs and deserves stability.”

Gina nodded. “I could be there, if you think another person would make it… easier for you. Less nervous energy or something.”

“Would it be weird to let him know I had invited a friend?”

“Uh… I don’t know. Maybe.”

Theodore let out a breath. “I’ll make it work. Thanks for letting me talk, though, Gina,” he said.

She smiled. “That’s sorta what friends are supposed to do, Theo. But you’re welcome. You can always talk to me.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind, now that, uh, now that I don’t have anyone in my life telling me who I can and can’t talk to.”

“Yeah,” Gina whispered. “I hate that it took that… very bad beating to get you there, but I’m damn glad you aren’t chained down to that bastard anymore.”

Theodore nodded. “Me, too, Gina…. Me, too.”

---

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---

NOT EDITED

Russell opened his eyes as Theodore shifted on the couch. He turned his head to the side, just to see if the man had woken up. Nope, still sound asleep. Russell reached out and grabbed the blanket, carefully tugging it back up to cover Theodore’s shoulders. When the man didn’t move or protest, Russell pulled his hand back to himself and leaned his head against the back of the couch again, closing his eyes.

Russell, though he missed getting an extra three hours of sleep, hadn’t been lying when he’d said he didn’t mind staying at the house with Theodore. If it meant the man could sleep, he saw no harm in losing his own sleep. Russell had certainly functioned on much less sleep, anyway.  When he’d been working the Narcotics Division, he had managed on half-hour naps for weeks.

Theodore, unliked Russell, was already injured. The more sleep he got, the better. He’d heal faster that way. Russell didn’t need sleep to heal anything. He’d manage just fine, as long as he got to close his eyes every now and then.

Theodore grunted, jolting away from the back of the couch. Instinctively, Russell laid a hand on the man’s back. “Hey, you’re okay. I-it was just a bad dream. You’re safe,” Russell said, his voice soft. It felt odd to use his, ‘we just arrested him, he can’t hurt you anymore’ voice on Theodore instead of some homicidal maniac’s captive. It felt incredibly odd.

“I didn’t… I didn’t scream or anything, right?” Theodore asked, dropping his head to his hands.

“No, you didn’t. You grunted like you were in pain, and then you sat up real quick. That’s it,” Russell said.

Theodore nodded. “That’s something,” he said quietly. “What time is it?”

Russell looked down at his watch. “You slept for about two hours, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Christ.” Theodore scrubbed both hands over his face. “Are you hungry, Russell? Can I… can I make you breakfast or something?”

“Are you hungry? Because if you aren’t, I’ll just grab breakfast when I head in for work.”

“I don’t know yet, but I know I need something to do with my hands, something to keep myself busy,” Theodore said.

Russell nodded. “Okay. Let’s go make breakfast, then.”

“You can sit in here if you want. I’ll be fine by myself long enough to make breakfast,” Theodore said.

“Do you need me to stay in here?” Russell asked. Theodore shook his head. “Do you want me to?”

“I-I think… I would prefer you in the kitchen. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable if I don’t let you help.”

“I won’t help with breakfast if you don’t ask for it. I’ll just watch until instructed otherwise,” Russell said.

Theodore’s shoulders seemed to relax. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Russell pushed himself to his feet and grabbed Theodore’s cane. “Benefits of inviting a detective over. I’m really good at following orders.” Theodore smiled, accepting his cane as soon as Russell pressed it to the floor in front of him.

“I’m glad. I don’t think I can handle another person telling me what’s best for me or trying to take over for me,” Theodore said. One hand wrapped tightly around his cane, he held out his free hand. “Can you…? I’ve been sitting too long.”

“Of course,” Russell repeated. He grabbed Theodore’s free hand and helped him to his feet.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Russell kept his pace slow as he walked alongside Theodore on the short walk to the kitchen. “Do people really believe they know what’s best for you?”

“They’re well-intentioned. I just have things I have to do for myself–by myself–or else I feel like I’m failing at something. Failing at being human, failing at rehab, failing at healing, failing at being a dad.” Theodore shook his head. “Just a lot of failing, I guess.”

“It’s understandable. The fear and feeling of being a failure after an accident of some kind. Suddenly having to count on other people and rehab and therapy can be difficult as hell,” Russell said.

“Have you ever had an injury bad enough for that?”

“For rehab? Uh, only once. I got hit by a car when I was a kid, fucked–sorry, screwed up my back pretty bad. I was in rehab for the first two weeks, and then I had normal physical therapy for a few months after that.”

“Christ. You just got hit by a car?”

“Yeah. One of the guys in my class–Guess I should say by ‘kid’, I meant high school. That’s important. One of the guys in my class drove up onto the sidewalk to ‘joke’ around or something. I think that was his argument when we sued for medical expenses. He did it four times, hit me on the fifth time. According to his argument, he tried to hit the break to scare me with the noise, like he’d done the first time. But he just pressed down on the gas harder instead. Apparently, it was an accident.” Russell shrugged. “Never knew how true that was, but you know.”

“I–Thank God you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I definitely thanked Him a couple times, in between thanking the doctors and the fact that he wasn’t going faster. Hell, apparently, if he had hit me from a slightly different angle, I could’ve shattered my pelvis. If I had fallen differently, I could’ve damaged my spine enough to never be able to walk again.” Russell shrugged. “Just a lot of things that could’ve happened if one thing had been different, you know? Keeps me thankful, I guess.”

Theodore nodded. “Jesus, it’s so damn nice to hear someone else express that thought, too.”

“Which one?” Russell asked.

“Being thankful that it wasn’t worse. It always upset my parents when I said that, like they thought it was my way of defending him. Christ, I was done defending him. I’d done that my whole relationship with him. But every time they talked about what he’d done to me, I just said I was thankful that it wasn’t worse.

“It wasn’t defending him. At least, it wasn’t supposed to be. I was just… genuinely thankful it wasn’t worse. I could’ve been dead. He could’ve beat Vera or killed her after the ambulance took me away, but I had worked up the courage to tell them to call the cops, to take her away from him, that I hadn’t just fallen down the stairs like he said I had. But, umm, but I’m just glad to hear… someone else think the same thing. I’ve felt like a crazy person since this happened.”

Russell nodded. “People can have a hard time wrapping their minds around it. They’ll say things to people like, ‘You should be thankful it’s not worse’, or ‘Well, it could’ve been worse. You should be thankful this is all that happened’. But when you say the same thing, you’re downplaying what happened to you. In my experience, most of the time, they think they’re being helpful, even though it just sounds condescending.”

“Yeah, my parents were definitely trying to be helpful. They just… didn’t realize that me saying that it could’ve been worse is what was getting me through my days,” Theodore said.

“And believe it or not, that was entirely valid,” Russell said. “For that to be what was getting you through the day? That’s valid.”

Theodore offered a smile. “Thank you, Russell. Really.”

“No problem.” Russell drummed his hands against the counter. “Sure I can’t help with breakfast?”

“Sure. I’m sure.”

“Okie dokie.” Russell folded his arms over the counter. “What… are you making?”

Theodore chuckled. “You don’t have to keep me talking every second. Silence is okay.”

“Do you want silence? I’ll shut up if you do, but say yes because you want silence, not because you think I’m tired of talking,” Russell said.

“Are you… tired of talking?”

“Never in a million years. I’ve been told to shut up more times in my life than days that I’ve been alive,” Russell said.

Theodore laughed. “Good to know. Well then, Detective. Keep the chit-chat coming.”

***

Russell slid into the driver’s seat of his car, flashing a smile as Theodore held out a travel mug. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I do. You got no sleep for me,” Theodore said. He gave the mug a tiny shake, so small it was barely even noticeable. “Just make sure to bring it back, Detective.”

“Bring it back. Will do. Thank you.” Russell grabbed the mug and set it in the cup holder. “What do you and your daughter currently eat?”

“Why?”

“Because breakfast was… hard for you. Believe it or not, I saw that you were in pain. I just kept my mouth shut on that particular thing, talked about other things instead. So I’m imaging it’s all been easy meals since the accident.”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “Yeah, mostly pizza or takeout food that I can have delivered to the house. If I don’t have to leave, and if it’s cheap, I’ll probably get it,” he said.

“Thought so. So, how about tonight, after I get off shift, I return this coffee mug to you and bring you guys food?” Russell asked. He held up a hand before Theodore could say anything. “I’m not asking for anything in return. I’m not asking to stay and eat with you. I’m not asking you to offer up any kind of favor in return. I’m just asking if, since I’m already making a trip back to return the mug, you also want me to bring supper.”

Theodore cleared his throat, adjusting his grip on his cane. “I don’t want you spending money on us, on me.”

“Is that the only thing stopping you from saying yes?”

“I… think so?”

“It’ll be homemade, then. I won’t spend anything more than what I already have access to,” Russell said.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Theodore held out his free hand, pointing at the badge clipped to Russell’s belt. “Swear on your badge?”

Russell smiled. “I swear on my badge. I won’t spend any money.”

“Then… I guess I’ll see you tonight. Does six work for you?”

“Six works just fine. I’ll see you with food and this here travel mug at six,” Russell said.

Theodore smiled, though it was faint. “See you then, Russell. Drive safe.”

“Will do.”

Theodore took a step back and closed Russell’s door. He lifted a hand in departure, which Russell quickly returned. The man smiled, not heading back toward the house until Russell had pulled away from the sidewalk.

Russell planned to stay true to his word. He wasn’t a liar, after all. He would, however, be phoning a friend.

---

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NOT EDITED

Theodore sat down beside Russell on the couch, one hand wrapped tightly around his cane, the other wrapped around the handle of a coffee mug. He let out a slow breath, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow shoved up against the back of the couch. It helped offer a big more support for his back, but it still wasn’t entirely ideal.

“How’s your pain?” Russell asked.

Theodore opened his eyes. He hadn’t been asked that since his parents stopped babysitting him after he got out of the hospital. “Fine. It just acts up a bit when I’m stressed out.”

“I’d imagine so. Do you take anything for it?”

“I have painkillers. I avoid them when I can. The last thing Vera needs is for her father to fall back on drugs instead of, like, yoga or something,” Theodore said.

“If you ever feel like you need them, it’s okay to take them as directed. Following the directions doesn’t mean you’ve fallen to counting on drugs. It just means you’re in a lot of pain,” Russell said.

Theodore turned his head enough to look at the man. “I know, thank you.” He cleared his throat, eyes shifting to the ceiling as he dug a heel into his hip. “So, umm, you said working homicide was better than narcotics?”

“Yeah. No more undercover work, no more drug busts, no more drug house raids.”

Theodore glanced over at him. “You were undercover?”

“Oh, of course. Sometimes, we need an insider in the gang or the house to get what we need for a raid,” Russell said.

“How long were you undercover?”

“Well, I did four times before my promotion. The longest was for a year, two months, and six days, though.”

“Must’ve been a pretty shitty time, right?”

Russell shrugged. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Because you had how long you were there memorized down to the day. That’s how I count how long I was married, how long I was in the hospital, how long court went on.”

The detective offered a smile. “Yeah, I suppose it wasn’t a great time.” He took a sip of his coffee and cleared his throat. “I watched three kids die that year. Either one of their members or the members of other gangs. They choose kids because they’re easy to manipulate, because kids think that gang shit is what they want. Sometimes, they think it’s the only option to keep themselves or their family afloat. It was just…” He shook his head. “I was off work for almost four months afterward. Alcohol, smoking, and therapy for four months straight. Thankfully, I’ve stopped leaning on all three to survive now. But, uh, it was hard. I had never in my life been more thankful for a promotion and reassignment.”

“Christ, I’m sorry you had to witness that kinda stuff. It’s… terrible.”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, it wasn’t ideal, that’s for sure. But, hey, I’m mostly okay now.” He took a sip of coffee before resting the cup on his leg again. “Mm. What about you?”

“What about me?” Theodore asked.

“Are you mostly okay now?”

Theodore raised an eyebrow. “Are you talking about the raccoon?”

“No, but I can ask about both. Are you feeling calmer?” Russell asked.

“My heart’s stopped racing. I guess that’s something, right?”

“Definitely something.” Russell shifted on the couch. “What about after your… stay in the hospital?”

“I am… mostly okay now. I was in, umm, therapy for a little while, as much as my insurance would cover.” Oddly enough, Russell was just about the only person that knew that, save for Vera. Russell coming forward to say he had been in therapy made Theodore feel more comfortable about it. “Most of my injuries have healed. The hip will be the biggest problem, the longest to heal, and my doctor said it’s pretty likely I’ll suffer from back pain for the rest of my life without more surgery.”

“Are you gonna get it?”

“Doubtful. I’m going to be in debt until I die from the hospital stay as is. I don’t wanna add another surgery to it.”

“Understandable. Besides, you seem pretty damn strong. You don’t need a million surgeries to keep up that strength,” Russell said.

Theodore snorted. “Strong?” He shook his head. “Strong isn’t in my vocab for any of this.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I stayed with the bastard for so damn long. It’s not like the beating that landed me in the hospital was the first one. It wasn’t the first time. It was just the first one that required me to seek care that wasn’t available inside my home,” Theodore said. Russell turned on the couch, elbow digging into the back of it. Theodore flinched away from him, closing his eyes as he shook his head. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” Russell said. Theodore forced his eyes open. “Do you want me to move? I wasn’t going to touch you. I need you to know that.”

“Y-you’re fine where you are,” Theodore said.

After a moment, Russell nodded. “I, uh, I was just going to say that… how long you stayed with him doesn’t determine how strong you are. How much abuse you took doesn’t determine how strong you are. He didn’t make you who you are or any of that bullshit. He put you in a situation that required you to be strong in order for you to make it through it and come out alive on the other side. You had, what, a shattered hip and a broken tibia? Fibula?”

“Tibia,” Theodore said with a nod. “And I messed up my shoulder and elbow pretty bad, not to mention the back.”

“Right. And you had surgery to repair at least three of those things, if I’m not mistaken,” Russell said. Theodore nodded. “You’re strong, Theo. You wouldn’t have survived any of this shit if you weren’t strong. There’s no doubt about that in my mind. Strong is… definitely in your vocabulary, and it’s influenced by this, not by how long you were convinced that you were a piece of shit who didn’t deserve better.”

“Well, umm…” Theodore cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I know it… doesn’t mean much, especially coming from some random homicide cop, but…” Russell lifted a shoulder. “But you don’t deserve to have to feel like you’re a piece of shit all the time. You don’t deserve to feel like, well, like you deserved what he did to you. No one–well, okay. The majority of people don’t deserve to feel like they’re garbage.”

Theodore raised an eyebrow. “The majority?”

“Yeah. People like your ex deserve to feel like they’re garbage, because they are garbage,” Russell said.

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “Yeah. If nothing else, I’ve managed to realize that part in my time since the hospital… visit.”

“That’s good. That’s one of the things you do deserve. The knowing part, not the hospital part.”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “You know… I can’t decide if I like that it seems so easy to talk to you.”

Russell smiled. “Sorry about that. I try to present and hold myself in a way that makes people feel safe and comfortable when it comes to talking to me. A lot of my job involves talking to people on the worst day of their lives. Being closed off and aggressive isn’t the best way to go about it,” he said.

Again, Theodore nodded. “Yeah, I can imagine not.” He cleared his throat. “Thanks again for… for coming over here and checking the house, even if it was just a darn raccoon. I just–Thank you.”

“Not a problem at all. You’re very welcome.”

“My, umm, my body doesn’t seem to think it’s in extreme danger anymore. You can leave and get some more sleep or something whenever you want to. I’ll be okay,” Theodore said.

“I’m fine staying here if you need me here. Do you want me to leave?”

Theodore, rather than going with his usual immediate response, gave himself a moment to actually think. He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Theodore shifted, resting the side of his head on the back of the couch. “Do you ever get tired of that?”

“Hmm?”

“Of everything being no problem?”

Russell shook his head. “No. I only go for ‘you’re welcome’ if I assume the person will be offended by ‘no problem’. Otherwise, I wanna make sure the person I’m helping or talking to knows that what I’m doing genuinely is no problem. I don’t want them to feel guilty for asking for help or whatever. A lot of people are already embarrassed to ask for help. I kinda hope my ‘no problem’s make seem less embarrassing. Though there’s totally nothing to be embarrassed about in the first place,” he said.

Theodore smiled faintly. “You’re a real good guy, Russell. I bet you make a pretty good cop, too.”

“Well, I try to be. Thank you.”

“Can I ask you… what drives you to be that way?”

“Of course.” Russell shrugged. “I mean, I kinda always wanted to do the cop thing. My aunt was a cop, a real good once. I aspired to be like her, to do the same thing. And because it was the job I wanted–to be able to help people, to solve crimes, to fight crime–I wanted to do it right. I don’t want people to be scared of me because I’m a white guy with a badge on his belt and a gun on his hip. I want people to feel comfortable reporting their crimes to me. I want them to be comfortable with me being at their house to question them. I just… want people to know that, y’know… the bad few in the bunch–the ones the media reports on–aren’t the only ones out there.”

After a moment, Theodore nodded. “Well, for what it’s worth, people like me feel… a little bit better when cops like you come into their hospital room and give them news.”

Russell offered a little smile. “I’m glad.”

Theodore closed his eyes. “So, since you’re planning on staying, would you like to watch a movie or something?”

“Sure, if you’d like to watch one, we certainly can. Don’t go looking for things just to entertain me. I’m not here to be entertained or catered to. I’m here to make sure you feel safe,” Russell said. “If you need to sleep or anything, you can. You look tired. I can imagine raising a little girl while you’re injured can make a man even more tired than usual.”

Christ, was he ever right about that. “Are you sure?” Theodore asked.

Russell nodded. “Of course. If you need some rest, get some rest. I’ll keep an eye on the place while I’m here, make sure nothing–person or raccoon–gets in here.”

“Thank you,” Theodore whispered.

The detective only smiled. “No problem, Theodore.”

---

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NOT EDITED

Russell’s brow furrowed as his phone rang on his nightstand. He rolled onto his stomach, blindly reaching out until he found it. Eyes still closed, he easily swiped the green phone button to the right side and pressed the device to his ear. “Steele.”

“D-Detective?”

Russell opened his eyes, blinking at the dark wall across his room. “Mister Eckart?”

“Yes. I-I have your number from when I was in the hospital. You gave me your card? I found it. Umm, l-look, I know it’s stupid and I’m probably imaging things, but I swear I heard someone outside, and I just…”

“Mister Eckart, it’s okay. It’s not stupid. I’m glad you called me.” Russell pushed himself up on his elbows, scrubbing his free hand over his face. “When’d you hear the noise?”

“M-maybe thirty seconds to a minute ago? It sounds like someone’s walking around in the bushes outside the house,” Theodore said.

Russell sat up on his knees and reached out to turn on the bedside lamp. He squinted at it, clearing his throat. “Where are you?”

“Living room, sitting on the floor. Just in case. All the lights are off. The TV’s the only thing I have on. Sh-should I turn it off?” Theodore asked.

“It can help cover up your voice while we talk. If someone’s out there, I want you to be able to keep talking.” Russell climbed off his bed. His gaze flickered over to his closet. Fuck a suit. He had jeans in the car. “You still hear the noise now, then?” he asked as he headed down to the first floor of his little apartment.

“Yeah. Rustling and… clanging. Like someone bumped into the garbage can.”

“Okay. Has anyone turned the doorknob?”

“No.”

“Have you noticed anyone looking through the windows?”

“I-I haven’t been looking. Do I have to?” Theodore asked.

“No, of course not. I won’t make you do anything you’re scared of doing. Your fear is logical and reasonable. That’s why I’m on my way,” Russell said. “Give me your address, Mister Eckart. Just breathe.”

Theodore listed off his address. “I’m so sorry about this, Detective. I know it’s probably nothing.”

“You have a kid in the house. Don’t apologize for being safe rather than sorry.” Russell locked the door to his apartment and jogged out to his car. The wind whipped at his exposed legs and torso. He’d never regretted not wearing a shirt and pants to bed in early October quite as much as he did in that very moment.

Russell slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door, pinning his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he started the engine. “How’re we doing, Mister Eckart?”

“About ready to piss myself.”

Russell nodded. “Well, I get that way myself sometimes, too.”

“You do?”

“Of course. The shield doesn’t make me immune to fear. We get scared, too. It’s human. You’re rational,” Russell said. He clicked his seatbelt into place and shifted into drive. He set the call to speaker and set his phone in the cup holder as he pulled out of his parking space. “I’m leaving now. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Unless you want me to turn the sirens on.”

“Nope. Nuh-uh. God, no sirens.”

“Okay. Thought so.” Russell cleared his throat. “Talk to me.”

“A-about what?”

“I don’t know. Your day. How was your day?”

“Umm… okay, I think. My friend came over and helped make supper for me and Vera. She needed that. Vera, I mean. I haven’t been capable of making supper since I… you know.”

Russell nodded. “That does sound like an okay day.”

“Yeah,” Theodore whispered. “I loved getting to see her smile. Vera. She’s got the most adorable smile.”

“I bet she does. Bet it was nice seeing her so happy.”

“It was. She’s been handling this all s-so well, but she’s still just a kid.”

“Kids are resilient. She’ll remember you healing, and she’ll remember you keeping her safe.”

“Y-you think so?”

“You called a cop to make sure your house was safe. Hell, yes, I think so,” Russell said.

Russell did his best to keep Theodore talking while he drove to the man’s house. He was rather certain that Theodore was right, and that he wasn’t in any danger, but that didn’t mean Russell wasn’t going to check and give him some peace of mind. And it certainly didn’t mean he’d allow Theodore to be terrified and silent the whole ten-minute drive, either.

Russell parked outside of Theodore’s house and grabbed his jeans from the backseat. He undid his seat belt and shoved his legs through his jeans, lifting his butt from his seat to pull them up the rest of the way. He grabbed his phone with one hand, buttoning and zipping his jeans with the other. “Mister Eckart? The car you hear, that’s me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to get out, so you’re going to hear a car door. That’s me, too.”

“Okay,” Theodore repeated.

Russell cut the engine and climbed out of the car. He closed the door and took the call off speaker, pressing his phone to his ear. “I’m going to open the back door of my car. That’s what you’ll hear.”

“Uh-huh.”

Russell opened the back door and grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor. He shook it out and pulled it on, quickly pressing his phone back to his ear. “I’m gonna close the door, now.”

“Okay.”

Russell grabbed a flashlight before closing the door. “Okay, I’m going to walk up to the house. Is it the front door, or the back door?”

“Front door.”

“Okay.” Russell headed up to the house, flipping on his flashlight. He shone the light over the bushes in front of the house. There weren’t any crumbled leaves or flowers, and there certainly weren’t any people there. He turned toward the trash can, jumping back as a raccoon bolted out of it. “Jesus,” he whispered.

“What?” Theodore asked.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry. It, uh, it’s a damn raccoon. It knocked your trashcan over, and it scared the shit outta me when it jumped out,” Russell said.

“A raccoon. God.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Russell bent down and set the trashcan upright. He put the lid back on top of it. “So, raccoon is gone. Anything else I can do for you, Mister Eckart?” He turned toward the door as it opened.

“Can you stay for a bit?” Theodore asked, phone still pressed to his ear, his free hand wrapped tightly around his cane. “I hate that my heart’s pounding, but it is.”

Russell nodded. “I can stay. My job’s protecting the people. You’re the people, Mister Eckart.”

“Thank you,” Theodore whispered.

Again, Russell nodded. “Of course. Let me go lock my car.”

“Okay.”

Russell ended the call and tucked his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. Back at his car, he grabbed the keys from the ignition, closed the door, and locked them. Pocketing the keys, he headed back for the house. Theodore moved away from the door to allow Russell inside. “Shoes on or off?”

“Off, please?”

“Of course.” Russell closed the door and kicked off his shoes.

“Can I… get you anything?” Theodore asked. “Umm, coffee, tea, water, lemonade?”

Russell glanced down at his wrist. His shifted started in three hours. “Coffee would be great, if it’s no trouble.”

Theodore nodded. “Yeah, no trouble. Christ, you drove all the way out here at three in the morning. Coffee is no trouble.”

“It was only ten minutes. No skin off my back to make sure a citizen was safe,” Russell said.

Theodore shook his head as he started for the kitchen, leaning heavily on his cane as he walked. Russell followed behind him. “It was a raccoon.”

“You couldn’t have known that.”

“I could’ve checked before calling you.”

“This isn’t a horror movie, Mister Eckart. You don’t have to check out every noise you hear for yourself. You can think you’re in danger without, you know, walking down the basement stairs in high heels and a bath towel,” Russell said.

Theodore smiled. It was small and nearly timid, but it was there. “High heels and a bath towel. It sounds like you watch some real quality horror movies.”

“Oh, please. Is it a horror movie if a woman isn’t in the shower when she hears a scary noise that she must go to the basement to check out?” Russell asked.

Theodore pointed back at him. “That’s a fair point.”

Russell smiled at him before clearing his throat. “Anything I can help with?”

“I can manage to make coffee, I promise,” Theodore said.

“Of course. I have no doubts about that. I’m just… used to offering to help.”

“Married?”

“God, no. But when I’m at the station, I spend most of my time being the one to start a new pot of coffee. It’s such an old coffee pot, and I’m the only one it likes. Almost no one else can get it to work.”

Theodore snorted. “Won’t be long before the love story of you and the coffee pot hits the news, then.”

Russell smiled. “What do you mean? Coffee pot and I have been dating for a long time already, Mister Eckart.”

“Theodore. And of course you have.”

“Theodore,” Russell echoed. “In that case, you can call me Russell. I’m not working a case you’re involved in, so the detective stuff isn’t necessary.”

“Noted.” Theodore leaned against his cane rather heavily and reached up with his free hand to pull open the cupboard above the coffee maker. He pulled down two mugs and set them on the counter. Russell leaned back against the island as Theodore went about putting in a filter, coffee grounds, and water. After he started the machine, Theodore turned to face him. “What’s it like working homicide, then?”

Russell crossed his arms over his chest, offering a shrug. “It beats working narcotics. But, uh… I mean, it’s hard, you know? Investigating murders, hoping to give the victim justice while juggling their grieving family. Questioning said grieving family over and over again. You feel a little bit like a monster in each case, but you know you have to do it. But, uh, overall, I love my job. Working for the people, giving them justice. It’s what I do, and I’m very proud of it.” He cleared his throat. “How do you like working at the bookstore?”

“God, I love it. It’s one of the things I missed most when I was in the hospital, when I was stuck here at home. I love the people, the smells, the book covers. Getting to meet fellow book lovers is amazing. Getting to see what kind of people are reading what kind of book–I love that. I love unboxing new books when they’re shipped in. It’s weird, I know, but being the first one to open the box and flip through those pages?” Theodore shook his head. “I love it so much.”

“Not weird at all. It’s great you love books that much,” Russell said.

“You think so?”

The detective nodded. “I know so. I’m the guy who just bought a whole book series for his niece as a reward for her enjoying reading.”

Theodore chuckled. “True. Very true.” The little smile faded from his face. “Do you work today?”

“I do.”

“What time?”

“Six.”

“Jesus. I’m so sorry. Y-you can go. I’ll be okay,” Theodore said.

Russell shook his head. “I’ll only leave if you absolutely want me to. Theodore, my entire job involves being woken up at unbelievable hours of the day to get to a crime scene. Hell, I’m just happy this particular three AM wake-up call didn’t involve a corpse, just a raccoon. It’s a nice change of pace.”

Theodore let out a breath. “Well… okay. I’m glad I could help, then.”

“Good.” Russell cleared his throat. “I wasn’t lying when I said it’s my job to serve the people, okay? If you need anything, you can call me. If you don’t feel comfortable calling actual dispatch, you can call me. I’ll always show up.”

The man shook his head, fingers tightening around his cane. “I appreciate that, but you don’t have to worry. This is a one-time thing. I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared shitless. But, you know, it was a raccoon. One-time thing,” Theo said.

Russell knew arguing his point wasn’t going to do himself or Theo any good. Theo was a beaten man, one who had spent years being told what a piece of shit he was, how worthless he was, how he didn’t deserve better than a husband who beat the shit out of him.

A conversation with a homicide detective wasn’t going to convince him his fears were real and genuine and that he was important enough that he could call the cops, even if the noise turned out to only be a raccoon every single time.

So Russell only nodded. “Of course. Whatever works best for you, Theodore.”

---

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NOT EDITED

Theodore leaned on his cane a little heavier than usual as he reached out with his free hand to open the door. Gina stood in the doorway, three bags of groceries in one hand. He took a step back. “Need help?”

“Nope. You have enough weight to worry about without these,” Gina said as she walked into the house. Theodore smiled softly, closing the door. He’d always be thankful for Gina. Generally, she knew better than to take pity on him at every chance she got, and he’d appreciate that until the day he died. After the… incident with his ex-husband, he had received far too much sympathy from everyone around him, especially from people he didn’t even know. Anything was mild in comparison, even more so with Gina, and he loved that.

He needed that.

Theodore headed for the kitchen, leaning back against the counter as he watched Gina unpack the groceries. “What’re we making?” he asked.

“Is it what I’m making, or genuinely what we are making?”

“I’d like to help, if you’re okay with that. Been a while since I’ve been able to feel useful in a kitchen.”

Gina nodded. “Of course I’m okay with that. Besides, it’s your house, Theo.”

“I know, but you offered to come over and make it so…” Theodore offered a shrug. “I still have a hard time owning up to it being my house, believing that… I’m the one in charge. You know?”

“Of course,” she said softly. “Well, we are making something we both used to be obsessed with when we lived in New York.”

“Oh, my God. You did not.”

“Oh, I totally did.” Gina set a package of ground beef on the counter, a smile on her face. “We’re making ourselves a good ol’ fashioned Rochester garbage plate, baby. It’s time to introduce Vera to what our culture truly is.”

“She’s going to think it looks disgusting and tastes disgusting, and you’re going to become very disappointed in my child very quickly.”

“Nope, not even possible. You’re her bio-dad. I couldn’t be disappointed in her if a tried. And as your biological child, she’s totally predisposed for good tastes and garbage plates,” Gina said.

Theodore chuckled. “Yeah, okay. I’ll take your word for it.”

“She’ll love it! And even if she doesn’t, I’ll make her something else, and still totally love her.”

“Good to know.” Theodore nodded. “All right. Let’s make some garbage plates and see just how New York my little girl can be.”

***

Theodore carried Vera back to her bedroom, even though it wasn’t exactly good for his hip or knee. He hated that they were still a little busted up, but he wouldn’t let them or his pain stop him from carrying the sleeping girl to bed or from tucking her in.

He laid her down in her bed and tugged the covers up to her shoulders. A hand wrapped around the headboard, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Love you, sweetheart,” he whispered. She mumbled something that sounded vaguely like the same sentiment and rolled onto her side.

Theodore smiled and pushed himself away from the hearboard, straightening himself back out. He walked to the door, a hand on his hip. He’d definitely feel the extra pain from carrying her later on, but he didn’t mind. He carried her to bed any damn time she fell asleep in the living room. This was no different, even if it made him hurt just a little more.

He closed the door as quietly as he could and headed back for the living room. He grabbed his cane from where he’d left it by the couch.

“I could’ve carried her for you,” Gina said from the entryway of the living room, arms crossed over her chest.

“She’s my little girl, Gina. She needs to feel safe. I can’t make sure she feels safe if she thinks I’m not even strong enough to carry her up the stairs,” Theodore said.

Gina let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. But you can’t do it all the damn time, Theo. You shattered your damn hip. You need… You have to take it easy or you’ll never heal all the way.”

“That’s easier said than done, Gina. I have a kid, a job, a life. I have things to get back to, and I can’t stop them all or slow them all down even more just because… because of a bad night and an even worse fall,” Theodore said.

“Don’t say that like he’s not the one who did it to.”

“I’m not saying it to excuse him of it. He’s a monster, and I know that better than anyone. I’m saying it because acknowledging that the damage to my hip itself was from the fall makes it easier for me. He caused the fall, the fall caused my shattered hip. I know that, I accept that. I just don’t like thinking about the first part when I’m outside of a courtroom. Is that okay with you?”

Gina closed her eyes for a moment as she let out a breath. “Yeah, of course. I’m sorry. I’ve just never… I’ve never gone through what you did.”

“And I’m glad you didn’t. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone,” Theodore said simply. He sat down on the couch, digging the heel of his palm into his hip. “You planning on sticking around much longer?”

“I have to get home and take care of the dogs, and I’m cat-sitting tonight. But I can come back afterward if you want,” she said.

It would be nice to have the company, but if there was one thing Theodore was good at, it was making sure no one was inconvenienced on his behalf. “No, that’s okay. I’m just tired.”

“Are you sure? I can keep you company. I don’t mind, really.”

Given another chance, Theodore shook his head again. “I’m sure. I just need to get some rest. Should be good for me, huh?” he asked.

“Should be,” she agreed. “You let me know, okay? I literally don’t care what time you call. If you need me or want the extra company, call.” Theodore nodded, though he knew it as incredibly unlikely he’d call her. Theodore considered Gina his best and closest friend, and it gave him even more of a reason not to bother her. “Will do, Gina. Will do.”

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NOT EDITED

Russell Steele had run out to the dollar store to grab a gift bag to put the books in before heading out to his sister’s house. He knocked on the door, smiling a moment later when his younger sister pulled it open. “Nikki.”

“Russell.” She cocked her head to the side. “What’s in the bag?” Russell held it out to her, opening it enough that she could look inside. “Russell.”

“I know, I know. You like rewarding her for good grades and stuff. That’s fine. You can keep rewarding her for that. But can’t I reward her for being willing to read in the first place?” he asked.

Nikki sighed, but she nodded. “Go ahead, you nerd. She’s in the living room.

Russell’s smile broadened. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Russell kicked off his shoes on the rug by the dor and made his way to the living room. His neice, Abby, sat on the floor, a textbook open in front of her and an open notebook off to the side. “Hey, Abby.”

She lifted her head. “Uncle Russell!” She jumped to her feet and rushed him, throwing her arms around him. Russell smiled, happily returning to the hug. Very little in this world would ever beat out a hug from his neice. She pulled away from him, eyes falling on the gift bag in his hand. “What’s that?”

“That is for you.”

“For what?”

“For me being proud of you for being such a good reader. A lot of kids today don’t wanna read at all, but you do, and that makes me real darn happy,” Russell said.

She met his eyes. “Really?”

“Mmhmm.” He held out the bag, giving it a good shake. She took it from him and sat down on the floor. Russell sat down beside her. He flipped back the cover of the textbook. History. Tragically, he’d be no help there. He was terrible with dates and the names of dead white guys.

“Did you get me the whole series?” Abby asked in a whisper.

“I did,” Russell whispered back.

“Oh, my God. Uncle Russell!” She threw her arms around him again. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You keep reading books, and I’ll get you whatever ones you want. In controlled quantities, of course. Your mom would kill me otherwise.”

Abby snorted. “Yeah, probably.” She pulled out one of the books, tracing the embossed title with her fingers. “Who checked you out?”

“A man. His name’s Theodore.”

“Was he cute?”

Russell rolled his eyes. He was used to this conversation. He’d only heard it a million times since he told his family that his interests weren’t limited to women. “He was very cute.”

“Are you gonna take him to coffee?”

He snorted. “No, sweetheart, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I took every cute guy out for coffee, I wouldn’t have enough money to buy you books.”

For a moment, a thoughtful expression took over her face. “That’s okay, I’ll just reread these for a while.”

Russell laughed, gently shoving her shoulder. “You’re a pain in the ass, Abby.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, there’s that. You’re still a pain in the ass.”

“No swearing around her, Russell!” Nikki called from the kitchen.

“Sorry, Nik!” He turned back to Abby. “Besides, I need a bit more than, ‘Remember me? I bought that series for my niece? Well, I like your face. Coffee?’ That’s just creepy.”

Abby laughed. “Then don’t be so creepy, you weirdo.”

“I’m not great at that.”

“Whatever. Your whole job is talking to people without being creepy.”

“Technically, that’s not a requirement,” Russell said.

Abby shook her head, a little smile on her face. “Thanks for the books, Uncle Russell.”

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart.” He reached out and smoothed a hand over her hair rather that tossling it like he wanted to. She wasn’t quite young enough for that anymore. She didn’t get annoyed at him easily, but in his experience, messing up her hair was one of her few annoyances.

He avoided it whenever he could, to say the least.

“Can I set you up with my History teacher?” Abby asked.

Russell snorted. “No, you may not.”

“He’s cute, I swear!”

Russell laughed. “My God, sweetheart. I appreciate the offer, okay? But I’m not lonely enough that I need my niece setting me up, I promise.”

“You don’t date a lot since you came out,” Abby said. “I worry about you.”

He smiled. “I’m fine, baby. I’ve had a couple dates here and there. I mostly just prefer going dancing on the weekends right now. Mixing dating in with work just isn’t something I need right now. Gotta wait till this case is over.” There was no case right now, not for him, anyway. But Abby didn’t need to know that.

“Do you have a partner at the station yet?” she asked.

Russell was more than thankful for the topic change. “Not yet. We had a new detective lined up, but he flaked. Guess we’ll just have to keep waiting for now.”

“Don’t you hate working by yourself?”

“Oh, I don’t mind it. I’ve never worked with anyone better than Emilia and Andrew. So I think it’s kind of a crapshoot to try pairing me with anyone, anyway. When I really need help, I take it to those two. One of them normally ends up heading out with me for interviews if I need it, anyway.” Russell shrugged. “It’s not too bad. They’re my best friends, after all.”

“That’s good, at least.”

“Very good,” he agreed. He let out a sigh. “Well, I should get home. I hope you enjoy the books. Book guy said they were good, and you would love them.”

“Thanks, Uncle Russell.” She reached up and squeezed his hand as he stood up. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, sweetheart. See you soon.”

***

Russell, beer in his hand, made his way to the pool table in the bar. A man stood there, racking the balls for a new game. Russell caught the gun holstered at his hip first, the tactical belt second, and the broad, muscled shoulders third.

Russell took pride in noticing them third. Emilia always hated when he checked out her husband, but he couldn’t help it. Andrew Buchanan was a damn good-looking man. Though, since he came out to more than just Emilia and Andrew, Russell was more open about being able to check out people other than the men he worked with. His attraction to Andrew’s shoulders had thankfully dissipated since then. Russell stopped beside him and clapped him on the back. “Hey.”

Andrew flashed a smile. “Hey. Saved the pool table for us.”

“Awesome. Where’s Emey?”

“Friend of hers is in the hospital, and her family won’t be here for a couple more hours. They had to fly in from California. So Em’s staying with her for now, making sure she doesn’t get too scared.”

“What happened to her?” Russell asked.

“Kitchen fire. Em says she has third-degree burns all over her arms and neck,” Andrew said.

“Jesus.” Russell shook his head. “Can’t even imagine.”

“I know. It’s terrible. I told Em you’d understand her canceling on karaoke, but she wanted me to let you know that she’ll sing four songs with you next week instead of two,” Andrew said.

Russell snorted. “Perfect.” He took a sip of his beer. “Mm, had a lunch date today.”

“Right. How’d that go?”

“Ready?”

“Of course.”

“I left my phone on the table when I got up to go to the bathroom. He snooped, found out my interests don’t just lie in only men, and he told me there was no possible way this could ever happen again.” Russell chuckled, shaking his head. “I swear, man. Some of these fucking people, they preach solidarity and support, but when they’re actually given the chance to stand for what they speak of, they’d rather throw you to the wolves.”

“I’m sorry, Russ. Fuck him. You’re better than that guy, anyway,” Andrew said. He held up his beer. “To finding another person who respects you for loving whoever the hell you want.”

Russell smiled, tapping his beer against Andrew’s. “To that,” he agreed, taking another sip. “You know, I never thanked you guys for showing so much support when I came out to you, when you helped me work up the nerve to come out to my family.”

“Oh, please, we knew. You should never have to thank us for treating you like a human being.” Andrew squeezed Russell’s shoulder, holding out a pool cue with his free hand. Russell grabbed it from him. “You’re family, Russ. And Em and me, since we aren’t pieces of shit, love you for who you are. Besides, Emey’s somewhere on the asexual spectrum. You know that. And I’d be the worst fuckin’ person in the world if I hated you for being LGBTQ when I love her so damn much.”

Russell’s smiled widened. “Someday, I want what you two have.”

“You’ll get there. Just gotta find yourself someone who doesn’t bitch and complain when you have to go into work at three in the morning because someone’s been murdered.”

“Oddly enough, easier said than done.”

Andrew chuckled. “Yeah, that’s why I scored myself a fellow cop. They understand if you have to leave really early in the morning. And with Em, it doesn’t really matter one bit, since we’re partners at the station. We go together most of the time.” He smiled at Russell. “The couple that investigates crime together, stays together.”

Russell snorted. “I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.” He nodded toward the pool table. “C’mon, let’s at least get one round in before you get us both totally shit faced.”

Andrew laughed. “Sure thing, Steel.”

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NOT EDITED

The early morning sun peeked between the window curtains, casting an orange light on the bedroom door and a little rainbow of color across the bed, where the sunshine cut through the fish tank on the computer desk.

The door to the bedroom creaked open, and a little girl walked through the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other clutching a teddy bear to her chest. She padded across the room, hugging the toy as she stared at the man on the bed. Tentatively, she reached out with one hand and poked his arm. He groaned, rolling onto his stomach. “Daddy?”

“Mm?”

“I had a bad dream.”

Theodore Eckart cleared his throat, turning his head to the side to look at the little girl. “You did?” She nodded, bottom lip pulled into his mouth. “I’m sorry, baby girl.” He tugged the covers back, holding them up in the air. “Get your butt up here.” The fair-skinned, red-headed girl climbed onto her father’s bed, snuggling up against his side as he dropped the covers again. “What was your bad dream about?”

“That Father came back.”

“That’s never happening.” Clearing his throat again, Theodore rolled onto his side, tugging the girl, Vera, to his chest.

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s in jail.”

“ ‘Cause he hurt you?”

Theodore closed his eyes. “Yeah, baby, because he hurt me.” He lifted a hand and rubbed at his eyes. “What time is it?”

“I dunno. I saw a four on the clock.”

Theodore cracked open an eye to peer at the analog alarm clock on his nightstand. Six forty-six. “Yep. Definitely a four in there. Good job, baby.” Theodore smoothed a hand over Vera’s hair. “How about you try to get some sleep? I’ll make breakfast for us in another hour or so. Till then, I’ll keep you safe, and I’ll scare all the bad dreams away.”

Vera stuck a pinky finger up between them. “Promise?”

Theodore wrapped his own around it. “Promise.”

***

With Vera at school, Theodore had gone to work and headed straight over to the in-house cafe part of the bookstore.

“Theo! Oh, my God, I didn’t know you were coming in today,” the woman behind the counter said.

Theodore smiled. “Had to come back eventually, right?”

“Of course. I’m just so happy to see you.” She stuck out both hands, bangle bracelets jangling against each other. Theodore leaned a little heavier on his cane and grabbed one of her hands. She immediately laid the second hand over his. “How’re you doing? How’s Vera?”

“I’m better, and she’s… handling everything well, save for the fear that he’s coming back.”

“He’s in jail. Fucker got a decade.”

“I know. You, uh, you should come over and see her. She misses you, and maybe having someone else at the house for a couple hours would help,” Theodore suggested.

“I would love to. Tell her I’ll be over… tonight?”

“Sounds perfect, Gina.”

Gina Beckett smiled. “Great.” She let go of his hand. “So… what can I getcha?”

“Just, uh, just one of the caramel cappuccinos.”

“Can do. Back in a jiff.” She patted the counter before pushing away from it. Theodore stared down at the floor as she went about making his coffee. Gina was one of the few people in his life that he had allowed to see him when his ex-husband had landed him in the hospital. With God only knew how many scratches and bruises and a broken hip–among a few other sprains and fractures–Theodore had looked awful and weak. He hadn’t wanted his co-workers to see him that way. He hadn’t wanted his boss to see him that way.

Hell, it had taken Gina two days to convince him that his parents deserved to see him, even if it upset them to see their baby boy like that. In the end, Gina and his parents had helped take care of Vera while he was in the hospital, and the first week back home, they had taken turns taking care of him, too.

He’d have to take Vera out to see his parents, too. They hadn’t seen him since the bruises had faded, and he figured they deserved to see him in better shape again.

Gina set the cup down on the counter. “On me,” she said as Theodore reached for his wallet.

“Gina, come on.”

“Theo, you haven’t worked in over a month. Let me pay for your damn coffee. Please.”

After a moment, Theodore managed to swallow his pride, and he offered a nod. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Can you get it back to the book counter okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Just a cane, no crutches.” He held up his free hand, wiggling the fingers. “This one’s all good for carrying things.”

Gina snorted, pushing the cup a little closer to him. “What time do you want me to meet you at your house?”

“Depends. Do you wanna help me make supper? I’ve just been ordering pizza and takeout. She’s been real good about it, but she deserves so much more.”

Gina nodded. “Of course I wanna help. I’ll even get groceries if you let me know what you want before my shift’s over.”

“I will. Thank you, Gina.” He grabbed the coffee cup. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“My pleasure, Theo.”

***

“Did you find everything you were looking for today?” Theodore asked, lifting his eyes to the customer’s face as he set a small stack of books on the counter.

“Oh, I think so,” the relatively cute and oddly familiar man said. He crossed his arms over the counter as Theodore started ringing up the books.

Theodore rang up the second book in the Beautiful Creatures series. “Have you read the first one yet? Or preparing for when you read it?”

“Nah, my niece. She loved the first one, and her parents only buy her new books for her birthday. I’m switching it up and getting her one just for being willing to read books,” the man said.

Theodore chuckled. “A darn good thing to be rewarded for, if you ask me.”

“I thought so.”

Theodore couldn’t help but think just how familiar the man looked to him. “Well, she’ll love book two, promise.”

“I sure hope so.” The man cocked his head to the side. “I’m sorry to ask, but… is there any chance I know you? You just look real familiar to me.”

“I don’t know.” Theodore chuckled. “I kinda thought the same about you.” As he rang up another book, his eyes caught the badge pinned to the man’s belt. Steel. “Oh. I know where we know each other from.”

“Oh?”

Theodore nodded. “You, uh, you were the one who arrested my ex.”

The man glanced off to the side before it dawned on him. “Theodore. Pardon me, your last name escapes me.”

“That’s okay. It, uh, it’s changed since then anyway. Back to Eckart, now.”

“Russell Steel. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been okay. Better than when you saw me last.” Theodore offered a chuckle, packing the books into a bag. “I never saw you after you talked to me in the hospital.”

“It wasn’t my case. I’m a homicide detective. I just happened to see the guy walking after the warrant for his arrest went out. I only went to the hospital to make sure the news got back to you as quickly as possible. I knew safety and comfort would be hard for you to feel. I just wanted to give you at least some sense of peace of mind,” Russell said.

“It was appreciated. Still is.”

Russell nodded. “And I’m glad you’re mostly healed up.”

Theodore smiled. “Me, too.” He set the bag on the counter and gave the price to Russell. After the detective paid, Theodore tucked the receipt into the bag and held it out to him. “Your niece will love that book.”

Russell smiled back at him. “Thank you.” He took a step away from the counter, bag of books in hand. He glanced to the side, seemingly making sure no one else was in line. “You have a daughter, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Great. Couple, umm, couple nightmares here and there, but she’s doing great.”

“Great,” Russell whispered. “Is she a reader?”

“She likes being read to and pretending she can read at a seventh grade level.”

Russell chuckled. “Kids are the best.” He touched a hand to the counter, eyes locking with Theodore’s. “I’m glad you’re both doing better, really.”

“Thank you.”

The detective nodded. “Enjoy your day, Mister Eckart.”

“You, too, Detective.”

Theodore let out a slow breath once the door closed behind Russell. Seeing the detective hadn’t exactly brought anything bad to the forefront of his mind, but it certainly hadn’t been what he had expected his first day back at work to bring.

If nothing else, he found himself thankful that seeing Russell hadn’t brought back memories of his ex-husband. He found himself thankful that the cop he saw was the man who had arrested his ex rather than any of the ones that worked his case or the lab tech that had taken pictures of his bruises. He had a feeling he wouldn’t have been able to escape bad memories if it had been one of them instead.

At least that was finding a way to look on the bright side. That was something.

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