**A/N: Unrelated to this book, but just got back from the vet’s a bit ago and can confirm Roxie DOES NOT have the kidney failure her symptoms led us to fear she did. It’s nice to finally be able to breathe again**

NOT EDITED

“Where’d you put them?” Theodore asked the exact moment he stepped foot into his house.

Russell chuckled, reaching back to close the door. “They’re in your room.” He kicked off his shoes as Theodore sat down to take off his own. Russell took Vera’s coat and hung it up on the hook on the wall. “If you don’t like one of the fish, let me know, okay? I’ll take it so you can just have the ones you genuinely want. They’re a Christmas present, so I want you to like all of them.”

Theodore lifted his head, a smile on his face. Russell couldn’t help but smile right back at him. He loved every damn smile that tugged at Theodore’s lips. It was the simplest and most obvious sign that Theodore was comfortable and safe. “Russell, you bought me fish. I don’t care if they’re a bunch of Barbs or an Angelfish. I already love ‘em.”

“Fingers crossed.” Russell grabbed Theodore’s hand, helping him to his feet. Vera walked out of the foyer first, more than happy to lead the way to the tank of surprise fish. She stood on her tiptoes to turn on the light and rushed over to the tank.

“Holy shit,” Theodore whispered. “Is that a fifty-five gallon?”

“Yeah. Best I could tell from the pictures, your old one was, too. It fit pretty well on the table here, so… figured I guessed correctly.”

“You did. I-I can’t believe you got a fifty-five for me.” Theodore pressed a hand to the glass as he sank down to Vera’s height, free hand still held in Russell’s. “Mollies, Guppies, Platies…” Theodore shook his head. “Russell, these are amazing.”

Russell squatted down beside him, pressing a kiss to Theodore’s temple. “I wanted to do what I could to match at least some of the ones you used to have. I figured that was the easiest way to know you’d be happy with them.”

“Happy? Russ, I’m ecstatic.”

That, Russell knew was true. He could see it shining in Theodore’s eyes, a nearly childlike excitement that pulled at either corner of his mouth and blushed his cheeks. “I-I’m glad to hear that. Glad to see it, too.” Russell rubbed a hand up and down Theodore’s spine, smiling as Theodore dropped his head to his shoulder. “What do you think, Vera? How’d I do?”

Vera grinned. “You did really good, Russell.” She tapped a finger to the glass. “Lots… and lots of fishies. You did good.”

***

After watching a movie, Russell carried Vera to bed and tucked her in while Theodore took a shower. Now, after checking the locks on the doors, Russell headed back to Theodore’s room and climbed into the bed. It wasn’t long before Theodore came out of the bathroom, checked on the fish, and slid under the covers.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how much those fish mean to me, Russell. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Russell rolled onto his side, wrapping an arm around him. “They’ve been in my office for, like, a month to assimilate them to the tank and stuff. I was so worried I’d forget to lock that door and you’d get adventurous, look around.”

“I don’t like snooping. I’ve been, uh… warned against it.”

Russell pressed a kiss to Theodore’s shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you can snoop in my house all you want. I sure as hell won’t be mad.”

“I know you wouldn’t. Most of me knows, anyway. But I think no snooping is still, like… a positive quality.”

“Yeah, I’d have to agree there. I’ve dated people that have gone through my phone and shit the moment I leave the room. It’s not like I keep anything shifty on there or like I’m texting other cute boys, but I just enjoy my privacy on my own phone. You know?”

Theodore nodded. “I don’t blame you there. I like mine too. It’s been one of those things I got back after Shane was, umm… arrested. It’s been nice to have that privacy again.”

“I can imagine so, Teddy.” Russell closed his eyes. “Unrelated, but, uh, I’d like you to meet my sister and my niece sometime. I want you to meet my brother and my mom eventually, but for obvious reasons, my sister and my niece are less… scary for, umm, everyone involved.”

“I would love to meet your sister and niece.”

“Yeah?”

Russell felt Theodore nod. “I’m assuming they’re not against us dating?”

“No. My niece has been really excited to see the cute bookstore cashier I’m dating ever since we, uh, started.”

Theodore laughed. “Did you tell her I was cute?”

“Duh. I would’ve been lying if I said anything different.”

“You’re sweet.” Theodore laid a hand over Russell’s, threading their fingers together. “Do you know how you want me to meet them?”

“I was thinking we could host a little supper or something. We could do it at my place so it’s somewhere familiar to you but so that no one else finds out your address. I’ll obviously take care of most of the cooking, with some hand-holding from you, of course.”

“You know me too well.”

Russell nuzzled Theodore’s neck with his nose. “I know you just well enough, Teddy. Helps me not accidentally overstep boundaries, too.”

“I know. I love it.” With a little grunt, Theodore rolled onto his bad hip and laid a hand on Russell’s cheek. “I’d love to help you make supper sometime for a little get-together at your place. Vera gets to be there?”

“One hundred percent. I want that little girl in my life just as long as I want you in it, Theo.”

Theodore smiled before pressing a kiss to Russell’s lips. He pulled away, eyes still closed. “You don’t know how much it means to me that you care about her, Russell.”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea.” Russell leaned his forehead against Theodore’s. “She’s part you, Teddy. How the hell could I go around without caring about someone that’s part you?”

Theodore sniffled, but he didn’t respond.

“Sorry,” Russell whispered.

“Don’t be. I just… Christ.” Theodore opened his eyes, pulling away to wipe at his cheek. “I-I hate that I don’t feel worthy of this.”

“I know.” Russell laid a tentative hand on Theodore’s cheek. When he didn’t pull away or brush his hand off, Russell wiped a tear away with the pad of his thumb. “Theo, I wasn’t even abused by a spouse or a significant other, and I still have days where I feel like I don’t deserve any of the good things you say to me or good things you do for me. And it sucks. We don’t wanna feel this way. We don’t wanna be this way. But… but someone tore us down and picked apart the pieces of our brains that know we deserve love and care and respect, a-and it can take… a real long time to find those pieces and put ‘em back together.”

Theodore let out a little laugh, closing his eyes as another tear raced toward Russell’s hand. “We’re supposed to be sleeping, not crying.”

“Ah, my life mantra for over a decade.”

Theodore laughed again. “I don’t know what I’d do without you right now,” he whispered.

“You’d continue healing. Just… without me.” Russell cleared his throat. “But for what it’s worth, I’m glad I’m here for it.”

“Me too.” Theodore kissed him again, soft and sweet. “Hold me?”

“Gladly.”

A smile on his face, Theodore rolled back onto his good hip. Russell scooted closer, wrapping a protective arm around the shorter man. “Night, Russell.”

Russell smiled against his shoulder. “Night, Teddy.”

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NOT EDITED

At his parents’ house, Theodore leaned back against the refrigerator, one hand wrapped loosely around his cane. His mother was still in the process of making food, and though she wouldn’t let him help, he still liked being in the kitchen. The warmth the oven put out always felt good on his hip, if nothing else.

His best friend, Gina, was in the living room with her son and Vera. Though she had already seen the fish tank and the fish inside, she had refused to tell him anything about it. As it stood, Theodore was choosing to hold that against her until she caved and spoiled the surprise.

Tragically, he had a feeling she wouldn’t.

“I heard you and Gina talking about a fish tank?” his mother, Bonnie, asked.

“Yeah. Russell, umm… For Christmas, Russell bought me a fish tank and some fish. Gina helped him move it into the house, so she’s seen it and everything in it, but I haven’t yet.”

“That’s… very sweet of him. You told him about the old one?”

“No. Vera did, and then he eventually asked me about it. I told him about some of the fish I used to have, showed him some pictures. I guess he was planning this that whole entire time.” Theodore smiled, shaking his head. “He’s really in this for the long haul, Mom.”

“I’m glad, baby. You deserve a good man who’s in for the long haul.” After wiping her hand on the towel draped over her shoulder, she reached out to touch his cheek. “I’m so glad to see you happy, Theo.”

“I’m glad to be happy. I-I’m still nervous about a lot of things, and Russell says I probably will be for a long time, but I didn’t think I’d ever get to actually be happy again. But… thanks to Russell and Vera, I do get to be happy again.” Theodore shook his head. “I still can’t believe it. Feels like some sort of dream sometimes.”

“I can only imagine, sweetheart. I wish so badly that I could take away everything that man did to you, but I don’t envy the hand you were dealt.”

Theodore nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to credit anything to Shane, but at least I finally learned that not all people are good, that it’s… naive to think everyone has some sense of genuine goodness in them. Might’ve had to wait for someone even worse if I hadn’t met Shane first instead.”

Rather than telling him it was stupid to feel that way or that he shouldn’t think of that way, she gave his hand a tight squeeze. That, Theodore appreciated. Being able to share how he really felt without being told it was the wrong way to feel about the thing that happened to him drove him up the damn wall.

If nothing else, his first Christmas with his parents in years was off to a good start. His first Christmas without Shane made it even better.

***

After lunch, Theodore helped his mom separate leftovers between containers for Gina, Theodore, and his parents. “I’m really glad you and Vera came out here for today, Teedie.”

He turned to look at her, but her back was to him. “I’m glad we came over too. It was nice.” Theodore cleared his throat. “Everything’s still a bit… weird for me, but I really do want you two in my life. You and Dad, I mean. I want you both in Vera’s life, too. I hate that Shane made sure… you guys weren’t really involved much, but I wanna do as much as I can to fix that, even if it’s a little weird for now.”

“Your dad and I want to fix it, too. So if there’s anything we can do to help things be less weird, let us know.” Finally, she turned to face him. “Okay?”

Theodore smiled. “Okay, Mom. If I think of anything, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Bonnie smiled back at him. “Good. Great.” She slid a small stack of Tupperware over to him. “When Russell gets here, you let him know to get his butt in her for a slice of pie and to carry those out for you.”

“I can do it, Mom.”

“I know you can, but he’s less likely to drop all the lovely food I just separated out for you.”

Theodore snorted. “Well… True.”

“Daddy!” Vera shouted as someone knocked on the door. “Daddy, it’s Russell’s car!”

“You can let him in, baby.”

It wasn’t long before Vera hurried into the kitchen, tugging Russell behind her. Dressed in a pair of dark dress pants and a nice sweater, Russell looked much different than he did in the other two main outfits Theodore had seen him in–his suits for work and his go-to hoodie and sweatpants for every other time of day. In his suits, he looked confident. In his New York Law hoodie and RPD sweats, he looked comfy. In his sweater, he looked like the family man Theodore had always craved.

He looked absolutely gorgeous.

“Russell, it’s good to see you again.”

Russell flashed that megawatt smile, the charming one Theodore had seen him use on cashiers the few times they had bought groceries together. “Good to see you too, Bonnie.”

Bonnie grabbed a small plate and held it out to Russell. “Saved you a slice of pie. Theo wasn’t sure what you liked, so I went with cherry.”

“Ah, cherry’s great. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” Bonnie held her hand out to Vera. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go say bye to Gina and Boyd.” Once the pair walked out of the kitchen, Russell leaned back against the refrigerator and stuck a forkful of pie into his mouth. He closed his eyes for only a moment, a little smile tugging at either corner of his mouth.

“You don’t have pie often, huh?”

“For holidays? God, no. Not since Mom stopped being able to host them. My sister doesn’t do much baking or cooking either. If we have pie for a holiday, it’s one of those little box ones from, like, McDonald’s.”

Theodore’s brow furrowed, but he hoped Russell hadn’t caught sight of it. Maybe he should have sucked it up and invited Russell over for lunch anyway. “What about food?”

Russell shrugged. “Depends. Chicken nuggets and macaroni today.”

“When was the last time you had… a Christmas meal?”

“What’s your definition of ‘Christmas meal’?”

“Something that takes more than twenty minutes to make for the entire meal.”

Russell stuck another bite of pie into his mouth, chewing as his eyes drifted up to the ceiling. “I dunno. Mom didn’t do the big family shit after she managed to get us all away from my father. Most of our ‘family’ was on Dad’s side, since he made sure to cut her off from her side of the family. You know how people are. They don’t understand how hard it is to get out of an abusive relationship. So when she finally did, it was too late, as far as they were concerned. Still hasn’t managed to patch things up with most of ‘em, last I knew. So… over a decade, I guess. Probably over two.”

“I-I’m gonna make you a belated Christmas supper as soon as my hip’s better.”

Russell smiled. “You don’t have to do that, Teddy. I’m still with my family, even if it’s… at different times of day and in different buildings. That’s all that matters to me.”

“I’d still like to give you an Eckart Christmas when I can. Maybe you could even help, and we could do it sooner?”

“I think I’d be more in the way than helpful for any big meals.”

“Maybe, but I’d rather you be in the way with a spoon in your hand than never there at all.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Me too. When do you wanna do our Eckart Christmas supper?”

“We could do it for… Valentine’s Day? We could spend the whole day cooking and baking together, and for supper, we have everything we made together. You, me… some candles?” Theodore asked.

“I do like the idea of not having to go out to some fancy restaurant and pretending that’s the only way to show someone you care about ‘em.” Russell cut off another little piece of pie. “I’d like that. You, me, and an Eckart Christmas supper for Valentine’s Day.”

Theodore smiled. “Aw-awesome. We’ll plan for that, then.”

“Awesome.” Russell forked the last bite of pie into his mouth and set the plate on the counter. “Those Tupperware for your house?”

“Yeah.”

“Sweet. I’ll carry ‘em out to the car. You go ahead and say goodbye to everyone. Take your time. I’ve got time.” Russell pushed away from the refrigerator and curled two fingers beneath Theodore’s chin, tilting his head back. “Merry Christmas, Teddy.”

Theodore smiled, heat rising to his cheeks. “Merry Christmas, Russell.”

Russell kissed him, soft and sweet. “I don’t wanna intrude, so I’ll be in the car. You and Vera come out when you’re ready, no matter how long that is from now. Then we’ll get you home and see some fish, yeah?”

“I like the sound of that.” Theodore smoothed a hand over the front of Russell’s sweater. “Thank you for being so… understanding with the distance and all of that. W-with my family, I mean.”

“No problem, Theo. When you’re comfortable with me joining in on family holidays, I’ll be here, but I’m perfectly fine waiting until you’re comfortable with it, no matter how long it takes.”

Warmth flooded Theodore’s face again. He couldn’t help it. Russell made him blush more than anyone he’d ever met. He leaned up and kissed the detective. “Vera and I will meet you in the car in a few.”

Russell flashed that soft, charming smile of his. “Sounds like a plan, Teddy.”

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NOT EDITED

After Theodore and Vera left, Russell had gone home and gotten Theodore’s new aquatic friends ready for transport. Now, with the tank set up in Theodore’s bedroom, Russell and Gina–Theodore’s best friend–worked to move the fish back into their tank.

“This is so damn nice of you, Russell. He loved the hell out of those fish before that fucker killed ‘em all,” Gina said.

“I know he did.” Russell gestured to the goldfish in the fishbowl on the computer desk, the one and only fish Theodore had gotten since leaving his ex-husband. “He loves that goldfish, talks to him every morning while he feeds him. I did my best to get him some of the fish he used to have based on the pictures, but there were some damn expensive ones in that old tank.”

“Yeah, Theo went out of his way to get some of those pricey ones. One of them was a gift from a kid we went to high school with. Rich kid who was a little bit in love with Theo. Shane fuckin’ hated that, even though it was before they started dating. He wanted that fish dead from the start. He just used their fight as a reason to finally take a fucking baseball bat to the tank,” Gina said through her teeth. She shook her head. “Sorry. I-I get… a little heated.”

“I don’t blame you. This fire burns inside me every time he says Shane’s name, every time he flinches, every time…” Russell cleared his throat. “I do everything I can not to let it show in my responses to him. I don’t want him to think I’m angry at him.”

“I do the same.”

Russell offered a smile. “Maybe we can blow up at each other on occasion, then.”

Gina laughed. “Yeah, maybe.” She lowered the last fish into the water before pouring in the rest of the water from its bag. “So… they’ll be okay?”

“According to the internet, yeah. The water in each of their bags was from the tank they’ve been assimilating to at my house.” Russell squatted down just enough to look into the tank at eye-level. “I think they’ll be okay. I did everything the fish blogs told me to.”

“You read fish blogs?”

“ ‘Course.”

“There are fish blogs?”

“There are blogs for anything people love. Mm, and anything they hate.” Russell smiled at her. “I just wanted his fish to be okay. He deserves something to go right. A whole bunch of fish are…” He shrugged. “Well, I think it’s Theo’s definition of ‘right’.”

“Yeah, probably. He does love the slimy little buggers.” Gina pushed away from the fish tank, turning to where her son sat on the bed. Despite the fact that Russell knew the boy and Vera were biological siblings, their similarities surprised him every single time he saw the kid. They both had Theodore’s nose and Gina’s eyes, though Vera’s were closer to green and Boyd’s were closer to brown. They both had Theodore’s freckles, though they were heavier on Vera’s cheeks than Boyd’s.

“You ready to head to Christmas at Grandpa’s, buddy?” Gina asked.

“Yep!” Boyd grabbed Gina’s outstretched hand and jumped off the bed.

Gina looked back at Russell. “Come on. Grab anything you need so I can lock up again.”

“Sure thing, Gina.”

***

After handing over his cell phone and any other personal effects that the staff deemed ‘dangerous’, Russell walked into the visitation room. As he usually did, his brother sat by the window in his wheelchair, hands folded in his lap. Russell crossed the room and laid his hand on the man’s shoulder.

He lifted his head, a smile spreading across his face. “Hey, baby brother.” He squeezed Russell’s hand. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Russell echoed. He sat down on the edge of the couch, clearing his throat. “How’re you doing, Grant?”

“I’m good. I-I feel good. I’m in a bit of expected pain, but I’m sober again. That’s about all I want anymore, Russ.”

“Yeah.” Russell squeezed his brother’s hand. “Are they working on your walking?”

“Little bit. We’re, umm, working on figuring out ways for me to push through the pain in order to take more than a couple steps with the walker. I’m in less pain in the chair. I might…” Grant shrugged. “Being in a wheelchair isn’t the worst thing in the world, y’know? I could’ve died instead. I’ve still got my life. I’ve still got my health. Most of it.” Lightly, he smacked Russell’s leg. “How’s that boyfriend of yours?”

“He’s good.”

“Yeah?”

Russell nodded, unable to stop himself from smiling. “Yeah, he’s good. We had breakfast and opened presents with his daughter today before they headed to his parents’ place.”

“Did you move those fish into his place?”

“I did.”

“Has he seen ‘em yet?”

“Not yet. He’ll see ‘em tonight, though. I’m hoping to be there when he sees them, but I guess we’ll, uh, see.”

Grant chuckled. “I’m glad you found this guy, Russ. You’re a lot happier since you started seeing him. A-and I was worried about you for quite some time. Seeing you happy is a damn good thing.”

“Thanks, Grant. I, uh, I like seeing me happy, too.” Russell raised an eyebrow. “What about you? Got eyes for any lucky ladies?”

His older brother snorted. “Ah, in this rehab facility filled with drug abusers? Yeah, my mind’s reeling with the possibilities.”

“To their credit, you’re also a drug abuser.”

“Yeah, which is why I know I don’t wanna date one.”

Russell chuckled. “You’re a dumbass.”

“Whatever. You love me.”

“Yeah, but I’m ashamed of it every single day.”

Grant laughed, turning back toward the window as he raked a hand through his dark hair. “Thanks for visiting, Russ. You’re the only person from outside of here I get to see anymore.”

“No problem, Grant. Hell, I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, anyway. If I never visited, you wouldn’t be in it.”

“Yeah, I know, but… still. Sis swears up and down that she loves me, but I never see her. Haven’t seen her since I came back to this place,” Grant said.

“She does love you. She does. She’s just a little scared of being around a bunch of drug addicts, no matter how long they’ve been sober.” Russell circled a hand in the air. “This runs in our veins, Grant. Depression, suicidal tendencies, substance abuse… It courses through every single ounce of our blood. She’s scared of this influencing her to be… to be like our father or Mom o-or you. Fuck, even like me. Unlike us, she’s got a little girl to take care of. She says she can’t risk it. But she does love you.”

After a long moment, Grant nodded. “I believe you, mostly. Just have a hard time fully wrapping my head around it, y’know?”

“I do. I understand. She’s your sister, so it feels rude, intentional. It feels like betrayal.”

“That about sums it up,” Grant agreed, his voice quiet. He looked back at Russell. “Since your boyfriend’s got a kid to worry about and he’s letting you hang around her, I’m assuming he doesn’t know you used to shoot up, huh?”

Russell cleared his throat. “He knows… I was in a bad place, and he knows I have a problem controlling my alcohol intake, especially on bad days.”

“What part of ‘bad place’ does he know about?”

“I watched those people murder children, Grant. That’s what he knows about. He knows about the alcohol and therapy, too.”

“Just not the heroin, huh?”

Russell closed his eyes for a moment. “Can we please just talk about something else? Christmas or… something?”

“Sorry, Russ. I don’t get much gossip in here. Christ, I don’t get much of anything in here. I barely know how to speak to another human being without it being a therapy session, either for my legs and back or my head,” Grant said.

“I know. Think you’re gonna leave anytime soon?”

Grant lifted his shoulders. “I don’t know. The last time I was outta here, I eventually fell back in. I don’t think I have enough knowledge on how to balance my pain yet to stay sober again without their help.” His brow furrowed. “I’ve still got enough money to keep covering this place, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re good, man, promise. I just miss having you around,” Russell said.

“Yeah. I miss a lot of, uh, well, everything. Late night gaming with you, owning the hell out of a courtroom, going on early morning runs, choosing my own meals.” Grant shook his head. “As soon as I think I can, I’ll come back home. I just wanna make sure I’m equipped to handle it this time. I don’t wanna end up in here again. Next time I’m out, I want it to stay that way. I need it to stay that way. I can’t keep living back and forth between sober, fucking up, and this.”

“Well, you take all the time you need, okay? I want you to have the tools you need to survive outside of this place again, and I don’t wanna rush you in your journey to find them. I’ll still be here when you get out, and I’ll visit as often as I can in the meantime.”

“Thanks, baby brother.” Grant smiled, reaching out to squeeze Russell’s hand. “Don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you.”

“Guess we’re even, then, ‘cause I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Rather than responding, Grant squeezed his hand again. Russell knew it spoke much more than words ever could, anyway.

***

For the second time that day, Russell had handed over all of his personal effects and been patted down before being allowed to sign in. He followed one of the staff members down the quiet hall, stopping at his mother’s door. “You can head on in whenever you’re ready, Mister Steele.”

“Thank you.” Russell waited until the woman had started back toward the lobby before he knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Russell opened the door, a smile on his face. “Hey, Mom.”

His mother lifted her head, a smile coming to his face. “Oh, my baby boy.” She pushed herself off her bed and held out her arms. “Come here, sweetheart.”

Russell’s shoulders relaxed as he crossed the room and wrapped her in a hug. They had switched her medication again several months ago, after she had lashed out at Russell during their last visit. The new meds must’ve done her some good. “How’re you doin’, Ma?”

“I’m good.” She pulled away, hands moving to his face. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m okay, Ma.”

“Good,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry about last time, Sully. I said some very nasty things to you, and I am so sorry.”

“Thanks, Ma. But I get it. Those last meds weren’t working for you anymore. It happens.” Russell smiled. “The apology means a lot, though, really.”

She smiled before hugging him again. Russell closed his eyes, wrapping his mother in a hug once more. It was certainly an improvement from last time. Two hugs in one day was a hell of a lot more than he expected, that was for sure, and he planned to treasure every damn second of it.

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NOT EDITED

The light from the motion activated night light by the bedroom door cast soft shadows around the room. The little girl who had activated it stepped a little further into the room, her favorite stuffed animal hugged to her chest. After taking a moment to convince herself he wouldn’t be mad, she hurried across the room and grabbed her father’s hand. “Daddy!”

Theodore Eckart’s eyes opened, settling on the redhead’s freckled face. “What do you need, baby girl?”

“You gotta come into the living room and see! But you have to be really, really quiet.”

He cleared his throat and sat up in bed. Grabbing his cane from where it leaned against the nightstand, he used it to push himself to his feet. He grabbed his daughter’s hand and let her lead him out of his room and into the living room. They stood at the very edge of the hall, leaned around the corner to peer into the living room.

“It’s Santa,” Vera whispered.

“Wow,” Theodore whispered back.

The man in red sticking little presents into the stockings leaned against the tree definitely wasn’t Santa Claus. It was Russell Steele, Theodore’s boyfriend for the last two months. The man had been incredibly kind and caring, not to mention patient when it came to every single issue Theodore had developed from the abuser he had finally divorced not long before meeting Russell.

He had also taken on the role his ex-husband never had: acting as a second father figure to Vera. Dressing up as Santa Claus just because it might make her happy was far from the first thing he had done to make up for the abusive nightmare she had witnessed when Theodore had been married to Shane. For Halloween, the man had dressed up as Luigi just so they could all go trick-or-treating as characters from Mario, like Vera wanted. The day before Thanksgiving–since Theodore and Vera had spent the actual holiday with his parents–Russell had taken them to an animal rehabilitation facility so Vera could see and feed a real turkey. Since it had started snowing in the latter half of November, he had built countless snowmen, snow families, and snow forts with her.

Russell Steele was a goddamn miracle worker when it came to Theodore and Vera, fake Santa Clause included.

Theodore squeezed his daughter’s shoulder. “Hurry on back to bed so Santa doesn’t see you,” he whispered.

“Okay!” she whispered back, unable to contain her excitement. She ran out from the hall and headed straight back to her room. Theodore waited until he heard her bedroom door shut before he walked into the living room. “Morning, Santa.”

Russell grinned at him. “Morning, Mister Eckart.”

“She was so excited, Russell. You… you did good.”

“Thank you.” Russell tucked one more present into Vera’s stocking before straightening himself back out. “You… are on my nice list. Double checked and everything. Am I on yours?”

Theodore rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. Free hand wrapped around the fluffy white collar of Russell’s jacket, he leaned up and kissed him. “You’re kinda always on my nice list nowadays, Detective.”

“Mm, thank God.” Russell brushed a thumb over Theodore’s cheek, a soft smile coming back to his face. “Go on back to bed. I’m gonna go put this in my car to make sure she can’t find it, and then I’ll be back. We can get a couple more hours of sleep in before breakfast.”

“Thank you… for understanding that I’m not ready to bring you to Christmas with my parents yet.”

“No problem, Theo. I wanna always take things at your pace. I don’t wanna rush you or make you feel guilty for not doing something right this second. When you’re ready, we’ll do more holiday stuff together. Until then, I am more than good enough with breakfast and presents,” Russell said.

Theodore pressed a kiss to his lips as a silent thank you before heading back to his bedroom.

It wasn’t long before Russell, his skin a little cold from the winter chill of the early morning, slid into bed behind him. He wrapped an arm around Theodore’s chest, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Night, Theo.”

“Night, Santa.”

Russell chuckled against the back of his neck, sending a delightful little shiver down Theodore’s spine. “You sure she didn’t know it was me?”

“Positive. She came and got me so I could see Santa. You just gave her the best damn Christmas she’s ever had.”

“Seeing her dad happy, healthy, and safe is the best Christmas present to her. Seeing Santa at the tree is just a close second.”

Theodore couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Theo.”

***

Theodore pulled the cinnamon rolls from the oven, setting them on the counter behind Russell. “Are you still seeing your brother today?”

“Yeah. Visiting Mom too.”

Theodore nodded. Russell’s mother, a victim of abuse, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts, had been in a mental health facility for over two years so Russell could guarantee her safety. His brother, mobility greatly damaged by a bullet to the spine, was in a rehabilitation facility in hopes of keeping him sober and away from his pain relief-driven drug abuse.

“Think everything will go okay?” Theodore asked.

Russell took a long sip of his coffee before offering a shrug. “I don’t know, but I hope it will. I just saw my brother for Thanksgiving, and he was doing pretty well, but I haven’t seen Mom in a while. I’m hoping… I don’t know what I’m hoping. That things go well, I guess.”

Theodore laid a hand on Russell’s chest, smiling when the man met his gaze. “I think everything will be just fine.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Thanks, Theo,” he murmured, lifting a hand to brush his thumb over Theodore’s cheek. He took another sip of his coffee as Theodore opened up the container of frosting for the cinnamon rolls. “What do you think of Teddy?”

“Teddy who?”

“Sorry. For you. You don’t want me to call you ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ because of your past… experience with Shane, and I understand and respect that. But how do you feel about me calling you Teddy sometimes?”

“I… don’t think I mind it. Not from you, anyway.”

Russell smiled that warm, soft little smile of his. It was different from his professional cop smile, which Theodore had also seen quite a few times. The cop smile was friendly, reassuring, comforting. The warm smile he was more familiar with was simply Russell–warm, gentle, caring, kind.

“Then we’ll try out Teddy. But you gotta let me know if it makes you uncomfortable or anything like that, okay?”

Theodore nodded. “I will. I promise.”

“Mm.” Russell pressed a kiss to his forehead and pushed himself away from the counter. “Am I still forbidden from helping carry the cinnamon rolls into the living room?” he asked, grabbing the empty plates and forks from the island.

“Yep. If I sacrifice carrying Vera to bed for the sake of helping my hip, I still get to carry lightweight things from one room to the other in the meantime.”

“Then I won’t push you on it. You’ve made great progress with that hip in the last two months, so… I trust you. I’ll wait in the living room with Vera. Let me know if you change your mind,” Russell said.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“No problem, Teddy.”

Like most things Russell did, the word made his heart flutter. Russell gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and made his way to the living room. Theodore let out a breath and went about pouring the glaze onto the rolls.

There were still many, many things with Russell that he couldn’t bring himself to trust, but Russell knew that. There were many, many things he couldn’t let his guard down around, but Russell knew that.

After Russell’s last homicide case at work, they had filtered their relationship to something more normal for Theodore. When Russell had been grieving the loss of his father figure, the man his case had revolved around, Theodore had been okay with them sleeping in the same bed every single night. Russell had needed the comfort, and Theodore had needed to know Russell was safe.

But once he no longer needed that comfort, about a week and a half after the man’s funeral, their nightly sleepovers had decreased. Russell came over to the house to spend the night primarily on weekends now, and they never planned anything for Fridays, since that was when Theodore and Vera talked about their weeks and shared how things were going at work or school.

Theodore and Vera usually went over to Russell’s place to spend the night at least once a week. It was a nice escape from the house filled with memories of Shane, his ex-husband. They saw each other quite often for lunch or supper dates–either in public or at one of their homes–but spending the night felt more dependent for Theodore, and he never wanted to be dependent on another man again. He wanted things with Russell to be healthy, and he wanted them to stay that way.

Temporary distance in how often one spent the night in the other’s bed was his best idea for controlling the dependency for now.

With a little sigh, Theodore grabbed the cinnamon rolls. Held securely with a pot holder, he made his way into the living room. He set the pan down on the coffee table and, with a little help from Russell, lowered himself onto the floor. “All right, while the cinnamon rolls cool off, we can open our stockings, and then we’ll eat before opening the rest of the presents. Sound good?”

“Okay, Daddy.” Vera, still in her footie pajamas, crawled over to the tree to retrieve their stockings.

Russell leaned over, lips brushing Theodore’s ear. “For the record, the present I got you wasn’t going to fit in that stocking, no matter what Santa tried. So the present from me in there is just a hint.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, you know.”

One corner of Russell’s mouth lifted. “Christmas was the one holiday my father was guaranteed to never be around for. I like to go all out when I can. But, if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll try again next year.”

Theodore raised a brow. “Will the present be good next year?”

“You go ahead and decide once you find your hint.” Russell grabbed both of their stockings from Vera. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

“Yep!” Vera sat down next to Theodore and dug into her stocking.

Theodore pulled out the stuffed animal resting at the top of his own. A fish. He turned to Russell. “D-did you… buy me fish?”

Russell shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“I-I want the fish,” Theodore whispered.

Russell smiled. “Was hoping you’d say that. I roped Gina into unlocking the place for me after you go to your parents’ place so I could move the fish in.”

“You’re… sneaky as hell, Russell.”

“Ah, my real specialty in life.”

Theodore snorted, rolling his eyes. A hand wrapped around Russell’s chin, he pressed a kiss to his lips. “Bring the fish after I leave. I wanna be surprised.”

The detective grinned. “You got it, Teddy.”

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