**A/N: I usually keep my chapters around 1-2K words so they’re easier to read for people like me, but this one didn’t have any good break points until the end, so this one’s around 5K. Enjoy the honker ❤

NOT EDITED

Chapter Fourteen

9:02 AM; WEST LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT, CHIEF OF POLICE JAMAL PITMAN’S OFFICE

“Jensen. Have a seat.”

Jensen swallowed before forcing himself to cross the room. He lowered himself into one of the chairs in front of Jamal’s desk, dropping his hands into his lap. “I’m sorry for not coming by sooner. I didn’t have my phone… on me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It wasn’t urgent. But yes, if we can always have the phone on your person, that would be preferred.”

Jensen nodded. “Of course, sir.”

Jamal waved a dismissive hand, seemingly requesting Jensen drop the ‘sir’ title. “Jensen, I had you stop in because I wanted to apologize face-to-face for the way I’ve talked to you now and then. I’m truly sorry for that. It isn’t your fault, and you knowing that is important.”

Jensen watched him for a moment. “So, umm… you must know I visited Kathy then.”

Jamal’s brow furrowed. “When?”

Jensen’s chest tightened. Oh, God, he hadn’t known. Kathy had been wrong. “I’m so sorry. I just—”

Jamal held up a hand. “I never forbade you from visiting her. It’s fine. I just don’t understand why an apology is indicative of me knowing you visited Katherine. I’m apologizing because you’re an employee who did not deserve the way I’ve spoken to you on occasion. Are you all right? Did she say something to you? You look incredibly on edge.”

“N-no, she didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I’m not here to crucify you for visiting her or for listening to what she had to say. I’m not even here to crucify her for it. I just want to know you’re okay.”

Jensen nodded. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Totally. Yeah. I’m good.”

Jensen was very much not good. Which giant lurking mound of evil-not-evil was he supposed to believe? Jamal’s eyes seemed more genuine, more in-tune with the words he spoke, but that didn’t mean anything. Not really. Right? He was so much older than Kathy. He’d had so much more time on Earth to practice his deception, to perfect it to a T. Kathy hadn’t. The anger in her eyes was probably from being in prison, not because of how she felt about Bo or Jamal or Jensen. Not because she was lying. Just because she hadn’t had enough time to force her eyes to mask that imprisoned anger. But Jamal had had so much time to learn. To hone. To perfect.

“Kiddo, you don’t have to tell me what she said. But if you need to talk about something—”

“Was Kathy even there at the apartment the day I was found?” Jensen asked.

“Yes. I drove her there myself.”

“Did you go in with her?”

“No, she didn’t like when I did that. I stayed in the parking lot.”

“Who brought me out of the apartment?” Jensen asked.

Jamal tilted his head to the side. “What’s this all about, Jensen?”

“M-Mister Quinn got into my head. H-he said I’m not the guy for the job because I don’t hate Kathy, and if I don’t hate Kathy, I can’t help Mister Austen. A-and then he asked if she actually saved me or if she just took the credit for it. And he told me to go talk to Kathy and look at her eyes because her eyes always give her away. So I did, and her eyes were so empty and angry and… and not the eyes of someone who loves the person they’re talking to.” Jensen forced himself to meet Jamal’s gaze. “Is my whole life a lie, Mister Pitman?”

Jamal cleared his throat, reaching up to adjust his tie. “I don’t know what you want me to say, kiddo.”

“Which one of you is manipulating me against the other?”

Jamal looked over at Franklin. “I do not know what to say.”

Franklin pushed himself to his feet and laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Walk with me, kid.”

Jensen stared at Jamal for a moment longer before standing up to follow the older man out of the room. In silence, he trailed Franklin through the station, down to the basement, through the lab, and into the file room. There, Franklin walked his fingers across several boxes before pulling one off the shelf. He set the box down on the cold metal table in the room, pulled off the lid, and slid the box over to Jensen. “Your mother’s caseload.”

“This is… this is it?” Jensen asked.

“The case went cold pretty fast. Most everything here is from the apartment itself.” Franklin pulled out a folder and set it down beside the box. “The answers you’re looking for, in regards to Kathy, at the very least, are in here.”

“How?”

“There are detailed accounts in there from every officer and detective that was at the scene that day. That would include your appearance and… retrieval. If you want to know how true Jamal’s story is, or how true Kathy’s story is… Well, aside from time travel, this is the best way to find out.”

Jensen tentatively picked up the folder. “Can I…? I don’t know if I can open it.”

Franklin laid a hand on Jensen’s arm. “Take it home with you. Think on it. Decide if you’re ready for whatever may or may not be in there. I’ll have Jamal sign it out so you can take it without causing any sort of stir.”

“Thank you.” Jensen hugged the folder to his chest. “I never thought you were a monster, Franklin. I-I’ve always known you were one of the good guys.”

Franklin offered a soft smile. “I prefer to be… good when the situation allows it. This one does.” He put the lid back on the box and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to let Kathy into your head. It’s what she does. Whether it’s with the truth or with lies, she makes sure to get in there and fuck around, mess things up for you, turn your world upside down. I was forced to stand idly by while watching her do it to Jamal over and over again. I will not do the same if she’s doing it to you. So. Is she?”

Jensen tapped his fingers against the folder still hugged tightly to his chest. “I guess we’ll see.”

11:50 AM; LOS ANGELES, SLICE OF LIFE DINER

Bo lowered himself into one of the booth seats with a soft grunt. David sat down across from him, sliding a coffee cup over to the blonde. “Should you really be having coffee?” he asked.

Bo picked up the cup and took a sip. When he didn’t immediately die, he gestured to the cup with his free hand. “Looks like it’s a-okay.”

David rolled his eyes. “Ass.”

Bo took that as another sign that he must have been masking everything okay. At the very least, well enough to skate by. That look David kept giving him hadn’t made an appearance yet this morning. That had to be a good thing. Anything that wasn’t David looking at him like he was bleeding out on the sidewalk was an improvement.

“That our gal?” David asked.

Bo lifted his gaze to follow David’s vague coffee cup gesture toward the counter. “Yes. She should be off shift in about ten minutes.”

“What’re you thinking is our best method of approach?”

“I feel like that’s your department.”

“Rude. Now we can’t brainstorm together?”

“I kind of… feel like I’ve done most of the brainstorming?” Bo raised a brow. “And most of the algorithm-ing. And the finding the victims and their friends… ing.”

“Rude. We can’t all be algorithm geniuses, Bo.”

Bo snorted, turning to look out the window as he took a sip of his coffee. Whatever smile had been on his face faded.

He was in the parking lot. His fake reporter stalker. His ‘kindred spirit’. His maybe-real-maybe-a-hallucination hospital bathroom lurker. ‘Jensen’. He hadn’t even tried to hide himself today. Rather than hidden toward the back like he usually was when Bo spotted him, his car was parked in the middle of the parking lot. He wasn’t slouched down and hidden away in the front seat. Instead, he sat on the hood, leaned over his phone.

Maybe… today was a coincidence? Maybe he simply wanted a coffee and happened to be at the same shop Bo and David were? Surely that was a possibility. There had been stranger conicidences.

But still. The man had been stalking him for six months. A coincidence seemed nearly impossible.

Bo pulled his attention back to David, who was typing on his phone. “Who are you texting?”

“Your mom.” David glanced up at him. “Like, for real. She wanted to know how you were doing.”

Bo nodded, turning to look back out the window. “Do you talk to her often?”

“As of late, yes.”

“How far back is, ‘as of late’?”

David blew out a breath. “I dunno. When the manhunt for Dallas began, I guess. Thereabouts.”

“Mostly about me?”

“And her fudge recipe.”

A little smile tugged at one corner of Bo’s mouth. “Thank you for… I don’t know. Taking care of her wellbeing, I suppose. Making sure she knows I’m okay. Knowing I’m okay does more good for her than I’ll ever be able to myself.”

“You underestimate how much she loves you, not just the idea of you. Same with your dad. I know you have that… fear of them leaving you, but those people, Bo, they’re never going to get sick of you.”

“I know that. I mean, on a surface level, I’m aware of it. But deep down, it still doesn’t feel like a reality where I can exist.” Truthfully, there was no reality Bo felt he could exist in these days. He tried very hard not to think about his time in the hospital after his suicide attempt, but David and Bridget’s faces while he was bleeding out on the sidewalk were still horrifically fresh in his mind. The faces of his parents when he’d woken up after surgery. He could not be the reason for those faces again. Even if it meant staying in a world he didn’t belong in.

What other damn choice did he have right now, while the damage was so fresh?

“Our victim has a tattoo on her ankle,” Bo said, clearing his throat as he turned away from the window again, back toward David. “I wouldn’t be surprised if our barista is able to successfully identify it. Travis has a picture of the tattoo, which is in your case file there. If she can give us a ‘yes’ based on the tattoo, then she doesn’t have to come to the station.”

“And we don’t have to go to the station,” David said.

Bo offered a smile. “You caught me.”

“For what it’s worth, no one would be angry to see you at the station. Except maybe Travis, but that would sorta bring me great joy.”

Bo snorted. “You are not a teamplayer, David Quinn.”

“Ah, if I was, how would you have ever gotten stuck with ‘babysit Detective Quinn’ duty, eh?”

“Once upon a time, I got ‘stuck’ with babysit Detective Silver duty too, you know. It might just be my thing, babysitting.”

“Yeah, adult men, anyway.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a rude dig or simple fact-stating.”

“It can be both,” David assured.

“Rude.” Bo nudged the case file a little closer to David. “I’m going to, uh… go to the bathroom. You can talk to her, yes?”

“Of course.”

Bo nodded, sliding out of the booth seat. He hated himself for it, but he just couldn’t do… this. There was a time when Bo would have never turned down the chance to sit in on any sort of investigative work with his chosen detective. But now he felt like sitting in on it risked ruining everything, as though his very presence would somehow make the barista unwilling to speak to David or tell him the truth about anything she knew. As though his presence would shift the very foundation of the case.

True or not, Bo had no intention of destroying the case for David. Ruining the chance of justice for the victims.

David watched Bo head back toward the bathrooms. He knew the blonde well enough to know there was no way in hell he actually had to pee again, but needing to excuse himself from the investigation made sense, unfortunately. Bo had utterly no faith in himself left, and one needed at least some faith or trust in themself in order to fully investigate a homicide or two. He would try to talk to Bo about it later. Gently. If he could coax his true feelings out of him without having to shove his own thoughts on the situation down Bo’s throat first, that would be best. He just wasn’t certain he could make it happen. But he’d try.

Right around noon, when the baristas switched out and their victim’s friend hung up her apron and came out from behind the counter, David slid out of the booth and met her before she could reach the door. He offered a smile. “Hi, ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m Detective Quinn with the LAPD. I was hoping I could show you a picture and see if you can identify something for me?”

She clutched the strap of her purse, brow furrowing. “I-is everything okay? I-I mean, what kind of picture? Like, a body?”

“It’s a tattoo.”

“Umm… o-okay.”

David pulled the picture out of his folder and held it out to her. “This is a tattoo on the ankle of a Jane Doe. Do you recognize it?”

“Oh, my God. Judy,” she whispered, carefully taking the picture from him. “I-it’s my friend’s tattoo. Judy Crane.”

“You’re certain it’s hers?”

She pulled up her sleeve, exposing the tattoo on the underside of her wrist. “We got matching tats when we turned eighteen. W-we share a birthday. We’ve been… attached at the hip f-for as long as I can remember. We were born in the same hospital. Our moms were… were just a few rooms apart. We were born within minutes of each other. Oh, my God.”

“Here, come sit down,” David said, his voice soft. A hand on her elbow, he guided her back to his booth. “I know you’ve kind of put the pieces together on your own, but… to confirm, Judy is dead. And I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.”

“Was she…? What happened?”

“Judy was murdered.”

“Jesus,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry. Is it all right if I ask you a few questions about Judy?” Gaze on the photographed tattoo clutched in her hands, she nodded. “What did Judy do for work?”

“She was between jobs, umm… most recently. She had been doing transcription work, and the hospital decided to downsize the department. Or do away with it? I don’t know. She was let go though because of it. She’d been out of work for about two weeks, I think. I was trying to get her to apply here, but she hated dealing with the public.” She laughed, soft and light. “Who could blame here, right?” she asked, brown eyes flicking up to David’s face.

“I certainly couldn’t do the work you do,” David agreed. “I’m sorry that this is kind of a sensitive question, and I’m pretty sure I already know the answer. But, uh… was Judy doing any sec work? Online or in person? Anything like that?”

She shook her head. “No. We used to joke about doing feet pics.” She laughed, shaking her head again. “But we never actually did anything. And JuJu wasn’t big on sex anyway. She thought maybe she was asexual, or that maybe her meds were affecting her libido. Or both.”

“Do you know what kind of meds?”

“I don’t know the same. Something for pain.”

“Acute or chronic?”

“Does it matter?”

“I like to be as thorough as I can.”

She nodded. “Chronic pain. She was in a minor car accident when we were in high school, and the pain afterward just never really went away. The doctors brushed her off left and right and eventually just called it chronic pain syndrome, which is basically just a bullshit catch twenty-two thing for when they don’t give enough of a shit to dig into it more. She’s been on probably every damn pain med they can prescribe a person. None of it really helped, but this most recent one was helping reduce the frequency of her super bad flair days.” She fiddled with the photo for a moment. “You don’t think that was a factor or something, right?”

“Not… necessarily the medication, no. But knowing that she was a chronic pain patient opens up a few new paths for investigation. Every open a path is another chance at finding her killer and bringing her justice.”

She nodded. “Well… ask any questions you have, then. I’m an open book. I want the bastard who took JuJu out of this world to pay.”

“You and me both. Let’s see how many paths we can find, yeah?”

She offered another nod, gaze still on the photo. “Let’s.”

Out in the parking lot, Jensen ignored yet another call from Jamal and messaged Frank instead to ask if the old man could please just give him a damn lunch break without introduding on it. Though Jensen still hadn’t worked up the courage to dive into his mom’s case file, he still felt like his whole world had been flipped upside down. Like his whole life had been a lie. Like everything had been a lie. And whether Jamal liked it or not, he was a part of that lie. No matter who was the actual villain in Jensen’s life, Jamal had been part of that lie since day one. So had Kathy. They both had their hands in his life, swirling around the water and making everything all murky.

So he just wanted one damn lunch break that didn’t revolve around Jamal fucking Pitman.

Jensen slid off the hood of his car, shoved his phone into his pocket, and tossed his mostly uneaten sandwich in the garbage. Sandwiches were apparently something Jamal could ruin for him too. Or Kathy. He wasn’t sure which of the two were ruining sandwiches today. Jensen unlocked the driver’s side door, but before he could pull it open, he was pushed against it. He grunted as his attacker yanked one arm behind his back, keeping his hand off his gun. A firm hand wrapped around his wrist kept his other arm pinned at his side.

“How blind do you think I am?”

Shit.

“Wow. Talk about a kawinkydink, huh? All the little diners in L.A., and we’re both at this one,” Jensen said.

Bo tugged on his arm just a little harder. “Don’t think for a goddamn second that surgery will stop me from kicking your ass, Jensen. You’ve made me feel out of my mind crazy for months. What the hell do you want from me?” He kicked Jensen’s feet apart, like a cop preparing for a pat down. The lab geek had seemingly spent just a hair too much time following his detective buddies around over the years. “I want a real answer this time. Not your reporter bullshit. You’re a horrific liar.”

“First… rude. I’m an excellent liar.”

“Even that one has liar written all over it,” Bo said.

Jensen grunted, turning to look over his shoulder as far as he could. “You look nice. Showered. You washed your hair. That’s good.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t feel like an answer.”

Unfortunately, it seemed as though Jensen wasn’t going to get any time to practice his lie before he tested it on the man himself. He’d have to go for a little more honesty than he’d hoped for. “My mom was murdered when I was young. I-I was trapped in the apartment with her for days before someone called the cops for the smell. Kathy Baker worked the case and then she adopted me and now I think it was some weird power-play against Jamal Pitman, a-and it feels like my whole fucking life is falling apart. There’s no one in this world that can help me fix everything that’s going on or help sort through whatever shit Kathy and Jamal did or what bullshit they pulled me into, b-but if there’s someone who can solve my mom’s murder once and for all, it’s you. I-I’ve spent years reading about the cases you’ve worked, what you’ve done for the victims, what you’ve done for the living family members and friends. My mom was a nobody. She wasn’t rich or famous or a hot blonde they could bring in the pity party for, s-so she slipped through the cracks, and the only person who still gives a shit is me. But if there’s one person out there who will give a shit too, it’s you, a-and I need… someone else to give a shit about her, just this once. Please.”

Bo stayed silent for what felt like far too long before releasing his hold on Jensen and taking a step away from him. Jensen turned to face him, one hand instinctively falling to where his gun should have been if Bo hadn’t stolen it from his damn holster. Bo cleared his throat, tucking the gun into the back of his waistband, like it was a totally normal and natural thing for the lab geek to do.

“I’m sorry about your mom, I really am. But my crime-solving days are… Well, they aren’t these days. I’m not the person you’ve read about. I am… a shell. A ghost. Waiting for my body to finally die and join the rest of me. I’m not who they used to write stories about. I haven’t been him in a very long time.”

Jesus. Most of Jensen’s ‘bodyguarding’ didn’t involve listening to Bo’s conversations or intercepting his texts and emails. He hadn’t quite gotten the insider scoop on his state of mind. But Jamal was right. Going like he was, there wouldn’t be a world with Bo still in it for much longer.

Jensen cleared his throat, nodding back toward the diner. “You came here today with your detective friend. Based on how long he’s been questioning the waitress, I’d say whatever intel you gathered for him was spot-on. I don’t think you’re the washed-up has-been you think you are. I think there’s still a genius crime-solver tucked away in that head of yours. And if you’d let him out, I’d love for the genius to help give my mom the justice she never got when she was cleaved to death in our kitchen.”

Bo lifted his head, blue eyes finally meeting Jensen’s gaze. “Cleaved?”

“He… Yeah. He had a meat cleaver. H-her face was….” God, could he really do this? Use his trauma — use his mom — to get to Bo? Was there any chance digging all of those memories back up wouldn’t fuck him up for the rest of his life?

“I’ll need her name and the date of her murder so I can get my hands on the case file,” Bo said.

“What?”

“The case file? So… that I can see what evidence was gathered during the investigation?

“N-no, I… I know what the case file is. I just… You’ll help me?”

“Consider me intrigued by the details at hand,” Bo said. “So?”

“I-I have the… the case file.”

Bo raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so stalking isn’t the only crime you partake in?”

“It was more like observing.”

“Yes, observation via stalking.” Bo pulled a pen from the pocket of his jeans. “My old house hasn’t been bought yet. We can meet there. Do you know the address, or do you only know how to get there when you’re ‘observing’ me as I go there?”

“Umm…”

“Mmhmm. Thought so.” Bo grabbed Jensen’s hand — and just why did Bo’s have to be so nice and warm? — and wrote out an address on his palm. “I will meet you there. And I’m holding onto your gun in the meantime.”

“When?”

“When David and I are done. Given how much time you spend ‘observing’ me, I have a feeling you don’t really have anything else important going on to worry about a specific time.”

“Rude.”

“I’m not sure it’s all that rude if it’s true,” Bo said.

Jensen honestly wasn’t sure either. “I will… see you, umm… eventually, then. Today, though, right?”

Bo nodded. “Today. Wouldn’t want you ‘observing’ your next target without your gun. Which you’re very much not well-equipped to use, by the way.”

“You’re just a faster gun nabber than I am.”

One corner of Bo’s mouth lifted. “Apparently so.” Fingers wrapped around Jensen’s wrist, he held his hand up, address facing Jensen. “Keys are in the mailbox. There’s nothing in the house for food or drinks, so if you’re going to be hungry or thirsty, I’d grab yourself a snack on the way.”

“Okay.” Jensen offered a smile. “Thank you, Mister Austen. For… for being willing to look at her case. And, y’know, not shooting me with my own gun.”

“Well, I’m more bark than I am bite. And don’t thank me yet. Willing to look at it is one thing. Bringing her justice is another.”

“Maybe so, but I have faith in you.”

“I suppose it’s good that one of us does.”

“I have enough for both of us,” Jensen said.

Bo shook his head, taking a small step back. “I’ll meet you after David and I have gotten through whatever else we need to today. I make no grand promises about your mom’s case, but I do promise to meet you today and look at her file.”

“Thank you.”

Bo offered a nearly imperceptible nod. “I’ll see you later today.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

1:15 PM; LOS ANGELES, SLICE OF LIFE DINER, PARKING LOT

David found Bo in the parking lot, seated on the ground, leaned back against the passenger door of David’s car. His knees were pulled up toward his chest, one arm resting across them, a cigarette held between his fingers. David had known that the glimpses of ‘old Bo’ were just a facade, but he had hoped and prayed and begged whoever the hell was out there listening that the facade would carry Bo through the day with at least some ease. Needing to leave before the interview and spending an hour in the parking lot with a cigarette gave him more than enough to know there was no ‘ease’. Not for Bo. Not now. Probably not anytime soon.

But as long as he was alive, they could work through it. They could help mend the pieces of him that weren’t quite put together the right way anymore. David knew it wouldn’t be easy or quick, but he’d walk through Hell to help Bo if he’d let him, and he had every intention of walking through those rusted iron gates every damn day if he had to in order to pull Bo back to the surface.

David sat down beside him on the asphalt. Without lifting his head or opening his eyes, Bo lifted his arm and held the cigarette out to David. David grabbed it, took a drag, and slipped it back between Bo’s fingers. Blowing out a curl of smoke, David leaned his head back against the car and closed his eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m all right.”

“You’ve been out here an hour.”

“I’ve spent longer in worse places.”

“Yeah,” David whispered.

Bo cleared his throat. “What did you find out?”

“She positively identified the tattoo. It’s a matching tat. They got them together for their eighteenth birthday.”

“Jupiter. That’s… rough.”

“Yeah. Judy was a chronic pain patient. She had recently started on a new medication to help manage the really bad flair days, but before that, she had been attending a pain support group. I don’t know how likely it is that someone at a chronic pain support group is out here brutally killing women, but I think it’s worth seeing if anyone there was good friends with her, see if anyone knows anything that maybe she didn’t share with anyone not suffering with pain.”

“It’s not a bad idea. There are undeniably certain things that people only share with specific groups of people. I do agree that it’s unlikely anyone in the group is the killer, but my killer radar isn’t exactly well-intact.”

David stole Bo’s cigarette, taking a long enough drag to give himself time to come up with a good response. “What Dallas did or didn’t do wasn’t and never will be your fault. Not beng able to detect what he was doing when he was off the clock isn’t your fault either. Dallas was damn good at tucking that part of his life away from anyone and everyone that knew the other part of his life. I hate to bring her up again so soon, but the only person out there that really should’ve known was Kathy. They shared everything in the end. A job, a house, a bed, a family. Your husband disappearing for hours at a time on random nights and a Hangman murder always being displayed that same night has to set off every damn red flag in the book.”

“Maybe. Or she was like me and was too obliviously in love with him to know. Or care. Sometimes I wonder if I knew about it, deep down. If I just pushed it aside because I loved him. Ignored it because I loved him.”

“Kathy isn’t obliviously in love with anyone. You were right, about her and Travis. That she’d sleep with anyone if it served her in some way. I just… don’t know what she got from Dallas.” David had theories, of course, the ‘sleep with Hangman so he’ll kill my husband’ of which he had already accidentally let slip. He had no intention of letting it out a second time. Not to Bo, anyway. That theory would always hurt Bo far more than it would help him.

“I don’t know. I like to think she truly did love Dallas. Does love Dallas. I want… I know you hate him, and I understand why, but I want to believe that he had a family with someone who loved him. Had kids with someone who loved him. Ran away with someone who truly loved him. I don’t want Dallas to be just another one of her pawns, someone she uses when it suits her and throws away when they don’t. He deserved to finally be loved, and I want to believe he found it.”

Though he assumed Bo’s eyes were still closed, David nodded. “Maybe he did.” He opened his eyes, placed the cigarette back between Bo’s fingers. “The waitress didn’t have any ideas of people who would hate Judy enough to kill her, especially so brutally. She said Judy didn’t really go out of her way to interact with people but was always polite and friendly when she had to be around others.”

“I think a lot of chronic pain patients are. You see the stereotype of the grumpy old man whose in pain and takes it out on everyone else, but most of them just suffer in silence because telling your peers you’re in pain isolates you once they realize it isn’t temporary. That you aren’t going to feel better soon or ‘get over’ it. I’m not too shocked she was that way too.”

“Are you… that way?” David asked.

Bo shrugged, opening his eyes long enough to watch as he tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette. “My pain isn’t physical. But… less so these days. I don’t care if I chase off my peers or isolate. I just… don’t want to cause anyone else any pain.”

“Which is why you’re only passively wishing you were dead instead of doing something about it.”

Bo blew out a sharp breath. “Wow. Hard hitter.”

“Sorry,” David whispered.

“It’s all right. I’m aware it’s still a form of suicide ideation. I know it isn’t healthy, and I know being aware that I do it is…” Bo cleared his throat. “I know it’s hard for you.”

“It’s harder for you. You’re the one living with it.”

“I’m numb to it. I’m aware I don’t want to be here, and I no longer care that I feel that way. I’m not yet numb to the way it affects you or my parents. Or the look on Jacob Mason’s when he asked me about it. Or the look on Bridget’s face when I was stabbed. Even the bartender I told about my end of life intentions. I’m numb to how it makes me feel. But I’m not sure there’s a numbing to the way I feel knowing how… the rest of you feel.”

“So that’s what’s keeping you alive?”

“Right now? Yes. When you grieve the end of my life, it won’t be because I took it with my own hands. I can’t be the person responsible for making you all look the way you looked while I was bleeding and when I woke up in the hospital, or the way you looked after I woke up from the overdose attempt. I can’t be the reason people I love experience that kind of anguish again.”

“I wish… so goddamn desperately that you wanted to be alive just because you love life so much. But for right now? I’ll take any reason that keeps you here.” David cleared his throat. “Maybe that’s selfish. I don’t know. I just… I don’t know how I’d survive without you.”

“You’ve done it before. Most recently, when I was in Clinstone.”

“Yeah, I, uh, definitely harrassed that detective there until he told me you were okay.”

Bo opened his eyes, finally turning toward David. “Jacob?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s why he wanted to be friends?”

David shook his head, brow furrowed. “No. God, no. I wouldn’t do that to you. By the time the lieutenant finally told me which detectives you were working the case with, he’d already been trying to befriend you for days. He said you were playing hard to get.”

Bo chuckled softly. “I suppose I was.” He took one last drag of his cigarette before flicking it to the pavement and grinding it beneath his shoe. “Do you still talk?”

“He texts me every afternoon to see if you’re okay.”

“What do you tell him?”

“That you’re alive.”

After a moment, Bo nodded. “Well, it’s accurate, at least.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for all the extra… paperwork I’ve given you.”

“You didn’t give me shit. I handed that over to Jamal days ago.”

Bo shook his head. “Not literally. Not about the stabbing. Just the… extra work, I suppose. Having to tell my mom and my dad and Jacob I’m okay. Or alive. However you want to phrase it. I’m sure you talk to Bridget about me now too. Having to field texts and inquiries about me like you’re my babysitter. You’re not… You aren’t a babysitter.”

“You were my babysitter once. I’m okay with being yours right now if you need me to.”

Bo reached out and squeezed David’s arm, more than enough to let David know he wasn’t going to get an actual response on that one. “Now that we have our positive ID, let’s go check our victim’s house.”

David blew out a breath, but he nodded. “Yeah, let’s roll.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

---

NOT EDITED

Chapter Thirteen

Friday: June 19, 2020

8:00 AM; LOS ANGELES PENITENTIARY, VISITING ROOM

Kathy Baker dropped into the chair across from Jensen at the cold metal table, one eyebrow raised. “Jensen.”

He offered a smile. She looked noticeably thinner than he remembered. Given the cancer diagnosis, he hadn’t quite known what to expect. But she didn’t look nearly as ill as he had prepared himself for. “Hey, Momma K. You look good.”

“I have cancer, Jensen.”

“I-I know. I just… You look better than I thought you would. Y-you don’t look, y’know…”

“Like I’m dying?”

“I, umm, I guess? I’m sorry.”

“Right. What are you doing here?”

“I just, umm, wanted to see you. It’s been a while.”

“Right,” she repeated, much slower this time “You didn’t visit Dallas, did you?”

“No. I-I wouldn’t do that without your permission.”

Finally, she smiled. “That’s my good boy.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “What’re you doing these days?”

“Looking for a job. I graduated police academy and—”

She laughed. “Why on Earth would you do that?”

“Look… for a job?”

“Police academy. Become a police officer.”

“I-I wanted to be like you.”

“You’re sweet. A little naive, but sweet.” She looked down at her hand, curling her fingers to run her thumb over her nails. “I heard you were actually working for Jamal.” Brown eyes shifted back to his face. “Are you?”

Jensen searched her face. David was right about one thing. Her eyes gave her away. The almost dangerous glint in them dared him to answer. Truthfully sure as hell wasn’t an option. “To try and persuade him to get you out of here. You don’t deserve to be here, Momma.”

She smiled again. But her eyes didn’t. “Always my good boy. I knew I could count on you. How has that been going?”

“He’s just been trying to convince me you’re a bad person. That my childhood memories of you are lies and that you aren’t really the savior I pretend you are.”

“Well, try to remember that Jamal is a conniving bastard who tortures and murders people for the mob in his free time.”

“Bad people.”

That judgmental eyebrow raised again. “Are you defending Jamal fucking Pitman to me? To me?”

Jensen shook his head so fast it made him dizzy. “No, ma’am. J-just repeating what he’s said to me.”

“Good. Jamal’s a liar. Always has been, always will be. He’d slit your throat the moment you no longer served him.” She laid a hand on her chest. “Just to get back at me. To take you from me.”

God, why were her eyes so… empty? Empty of the sadness the rest of her body was cosplaying. Had they always been that way? They couldn’t have been. Right? He would have noticed. Surely, he would’ve noticed. Prison had changed her eyes. It was just prison. Prison had to change you or you wouldn’t survive it. That was all.

“You… you saved me, Momma K, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did. Why would you ask me that? God, what has that monster done to my baby boy? He’s turning you against me too? Taking my very last child away, like he hasn’t done enough damage already?”

“N-no, it’s okay. I don’t believe him. I don’t believe any of it.”

“Good,” she whispered. “What has he told you?”

“I-it was suggested that you just took credit for it. Saving me, I mean.”

“Please. Jamal would’ve handed you right over to social services and thrown you into foster care if it hadn’t been for me. You would’ve been there until you aged out, and you would’ve been tossed onto the street the second the government stopped paying your foster parents for having you. I’m the only one who wanted you, Jensen. It was me.”

Had she always talked to him like that? Told him no one else would want him?

“Why do you hate Bo Austen?”

All traces of sadness vanished from her face. “Tell me you are not working with that fucker.”

“No, ma’am.”

“Good. Why are you asking me about him?”

“Mister Pitman never… never stops talking about him.”

“Jamal thinks Bo is God’s gift to the LAPD. I think Bo made sure to ruin my life because he believes he should’ve gotten to play housewife to Dallas.”

“What?”

“Oh, did Jamal not tell you that in his never-ending speech about Bo’s amazing genius? He was in love with Dallas. Probably still is. Poor little guy.”

“Did you… know that before you started dating Mister Silver?”

The shocked sadness came back, a hand moving to cover her heart. “Who do you take me for? Of course I didn’t. I wouldn’t have stolen Dallas like that if I’d known. The love of your life talking to you about the love of his life all the time? I would never.”

But her eyes said she would.

Jensen shifted in his seat. His worldview seemed to be held together with hot glue and duct tape, and the seams were starting to pull apart. What other lies had she told him? What other bullshit had she fed him that he’d swallowed without complaint? Had she even been at the apartment that day, when the police finally found him trapped inside with his mom?

“Mister Pitman says you hated Austen before all of this too.”

“Jamal is a liar,” she repeated. “I did nothing but put Bo on the same pedestal Jamal did. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t believe he needed it. He was a genius, and he did a damn fine job. If Jamal wanted him to be treated like a place of worship, so be it. I would have done anything for Jamal back then.”

But her eyes seethed with anger. Hatred. Something dark and a little dangerous, whatever it was.

“What job are you doing for Jamal?” Kathy asked.

“It’s classified.”

“Oh, please, you can’t even tell your momma about it?”

“N-no, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“Mm.” Kathy leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. Immediate distance. Closing herself off. Just because he wouldn’t spill Jamal’s secrets. “So you came here to interrogate your poor old mother for Jamal, but I’m not allowed to ask even one question about you because it might relate back to him?”

“Mister Pitman doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to ask questions for me. Not him.”

She laughed. “Oh, baby. That pretty little head of yours isn’t much for critical thinking, is it?”

Ouch.

“Jamal always knows where you are, I promise you that.”

“He has no reason to believe I would do anything to warrant constant tracking. I’m the one doing the tracking for him.”

She shook her head, a little smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “It’s a damn good thing you’re handsome, Jensen. My God.” Another shake of her head. “He hired you to get back at me. Not because he likes you or trusts you or gives a shit about your future or ability to keep a roof over your head. He has every reason to believe you’re a failure, that you’re going to slip up, that you’re going to do something stupid. He has someone tailing you. There is no world in which Jamal Pitman is stupid enough to think you’re amazing at your job.”

“Ouch,” Jensen whispered.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that. You just can’t be amazing at being one of Jamal’s little soldiers. You’re too good for that. You’re above it. Above him. And he knows it.”

Jesus, it was like constant whiplash. Surely she hadn’t always been this way. Not to him. He couldn’t have missed all of this, been won over by the occasional nice words and soft smiles. Right? Surely he wasn’t that stupid.

Or maybe she was right, and this ‘pretty little head’ of his wasn’t really used for thinking. Maybe he was just reading into it all too much because Jamal and David had gotten into his head. That had to be it. Kathy wasn’t evil. She had saved him. Given him a home. A place to be safe with the Taylors, protected from the dangers that would come from living with her or being attached to the Baker name. She had done that for him. To keep him safe from all the evils in the world.

“I’m bodyguarding for him,” Jensen finally offered.

Kathy raised a brow. “Did Frank finally kick the bucket?”

“No. I-is Frank dying?”

She shrugged. “Not that I know of. Just figured Jamal would’ve killed him by now, is all.” She cleared her throat. “So he’s not your client. You’re just one of his little soldiers to send out on missions.”

“No, I don’t do missions. Not a soldier. Bodyguard. I’m a hired bodyguard under Mister Pitman’s… team.”

“I didn’t know there was a team. Just Franklin and the soldiers in his twisted little army of ‘sir, yes, sir’s.”

“People hire bodyguards from Mister Pitman all the time.”

“And you’re one of them.”

“Yes.”

“Who are you bodyguarding?”
“That part, I can’t disclose.”

“Mm.” She leaned back in her seat again, resuming her closed off stance. “So you just wanted to ask me about Jamal’s lies and about Bo Austen? Just because?”

“Well, I-I came here to talk. To update you on my life a-and to see how you were doing. You brought up Mister Pitman.”

“Not that I recall.”

“You did. You said—”

“You brought him up. Because you’ve let him play around in your head and convince you that the only person in this world that gives a single shit about you has been a monster this whole time.”

“I-I didn’t say you were a monster. Just that—”

“I can’t believe you’ve let him toy with your head like this, Jensen. I thought I raised you better than this.”

“I haven’t. And you did. I swear. I love you. I don’t believe anything he says about you. I just needed… needed to make sure. Needed to hear it from you.” Jensen reached for her hand, but she pulled it away and dropped it to her lap. “Momma, come on. I love you. You saved me. I know you saved me. Mister Pitman is a liar. I know he is. I won’t let him turn me against you, Momma. I promise.”

“Jamal doesn’t care about you, Jensen. He’s turning you against me, trying to cut you off from the one person who loves you. There is no one else out there waiting for you, Jensen. Just me. He wants to cut you off, isolate you, like any abuser would.”

Jensen nodded. “I know, Momma. I won’t let him cut you off.”

Kathy smiled, but her eyes still screamed danger. Whatever emotion was mixed in there with it, Jensen couldn’t identify. “That’s my good boy.”

8:27 AM; DAVID QUINN’S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM

Despite Bo’s protests the night before, David had managed to convince him to spend the night in his room instead of the living room, and David had taken the couch. Of course, no longer doped up on whatever the hospital had given him, sleep hadn’t exactly come easily to Bo, so after David had fallen asleep, Bo had snuck out to the living room for his laptop before creeping back to David’s room. He had started the night with drawing up the rest of the algorithm to search the traffic cam footage for similar faces, and ended with finding out the work schedules of the second victim’s friend so David would know the best time to bring her in to identify the woman and question her about any dangerous people in her life.

When he heard David get up for a shower, Bo tucked his laptop away and pretended to be sound asleep. Once the shower started up, Bo had gotten his laptop and headed into the living room. Once David was done, he’d be able to pretend he had gotten a great night of sleep and felt energized for a round of internet sleuthing and hacking into things he admittedly shouldn’t. The nice thing about not working for the LAPD was that he could essentially pry his way into whatever he wanted without having to put it into a report for the lieutenant and Jamal to read.

David walked into the living room, his dress pants on, his white shirt over his shoulders but still unbuttoned, and his suit jacket thrown over his forearm as he used his free hand to finish scrubbing at his wet hair with a towel. “Morning. Sleep okay?”

“Yes. Did you?”

“Mmhmm.” David gestured to the couch. “I made sure that thing was comfortable to lay on when I got it for a reason.”

Bo raised a brow. “In case I got shanked and had to have my spleen removed?”

“Obviously.”

“A big brother who can predict the future? My dream.” Bo nodded toward his laptop. “Any chance you can put your powers to use and find this killer?”

“Ah, no can do, I’m afraid. That’s a little brother’s job.”

“Damn. Worth a shot.”

David smiled. The smile meant Bo was masking well enough to skate by for now. That was good. “Speaking of, I heard you click clacking away over there. What’re you working on?”

“I wanted to finish up my algorithm for the traffic cam footage, and I tracked down the work schedule of the second victim’s friend. She’s off at noon today. We could hang out at the coffee shop around then and catch her when she’s off, ask if she can have a look at a photo for us.”

“We?” David asked after a moment.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to assume. Only if you’re okay with it, obviously. I understand if you don’t want to work with me on this. Or have me come around with you on it, I should say. And if you think Jamal would be okay with it.”

“I always want to work with you and have you ride around with me and tag along for interviews and interrogations. Always. I just… don’t know that it’s the best thing for you right now.”

“I’m okay, David. I promise.”

“And I’m glad to hear that. I am. But I don’t just mean your mental health. I mean your physical health, like that incision site that probably doesn’t want you walking around all day.”

“We can sit at the coffee shop. Sitting is fine. And so is standing and walking. I’m supposed to be walking a little every day, just not past the point of fatigue and pain.”

David nodded before clearing his throat. “And the… the Jamal thing. Nothing would make him happier. He wanted me to tell you that you did a damn fine job yesterday. Attaboy, and all that.”

“He did?”

“He did. He wanted to tell you himself, but he was worried about, y’know, dropping in uninvited.”

“Because it might break me.”

“He just doesn’t want to be the reason you’re upset or anything like that. But he was very onboard with you helping.”

“So… it’s settled then?”

David watched him for a moment. “If you let me help you wash your hair before we go.”

“Deal.”

David smiled. “Great. Let’s go get you degreased.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

---

NOT EDITED

Chapter Eleven

3:47 PM; WEST LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT, CHIEF OF POLICE JAMAL PITMAN’S OFFICE

Jamal lifted his head at the soft knock on his open door. He raised a brow. “Oh, so when the door’s wide open, you knock.”

David offered a smile. He had the grace to almost look apologetic. Almost. “Hey, if you want to have secret meetings with Bo’s stalker, close the door all the way. I didn’t knock because I could already see him.”

“I suppose I have to give you that one.” Jamal closed the folder in front of him, hiding some of his ‘extra curriculars’ that David didn’t need to also make himself a part of, and folded his arms over his desk. “I wasn’t expecting you back in today. Is everything all right?”

David stepped into the room, closing the door with a soft click behind him. “Bo ID’d both victims. He’s had the first gal identified since shortly after she turned up dead. He was hoping Travis would get her ID’d so that he wouldn’t have to steal his thunder. He had planned on calling it in anonymously, but then, uh…”

“Everything else happened?” Jamal suggested.

“Yeah.” David fiddled with the folder in his hands for a moment before walking over to Jamal’s desk and handing it over. “He did that social media scan thing. Our first gal, he found her through her profile picture. Second victim, he found a friend that had a public account and had posted pictures of them before. The victim’s account was tagged or whatever in the description, and even though her account was private and her profile picture wasn’t of her, she had her first and last name on it. I have last known addresses for both of them, and I’m planning on bringing in the friend for an official ID of the second vic.”

Jamal flipped through the printed off papers inside the folder. “I wish I could give him an official ‘attaboy’. He’s done an amazing job here.”

“Maybe you could. I mean, I know you’re worried about… about making him worse, but even when he was looking for Kathy and Dallas, his only high points were when you’d tell him he’d done a good job.” David dropped into one of the chairs in front of Jamal’s desk. “Respectfully, I don’t know why the hell he looks up to you so much. Craves your approval so much. But he always has, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he still does.”

Jamal had his own prominent theory as to the why, but it certainly wasn’t any of David’s business. A lie was, though. “I gave him his first chance at a real job at a real station putting his degree to real work. Are you truly shocked that he sees me as a leadership figure?”

“Leadership is one thing. His feelings toward you bordered on cult worship for a while there.”

Jamal couldn’t help but chuckle. “If you didn’t believe in the rumors about what I do outside of this station, would you still say it was cult worship?”

“No. Then I’d say his relationship with you is that of an abusive, narcistic piece of shit and their victim. So like his bio dad, I guess.”

“I have half a mind to shoot you for that comparison alone.”

David offered a smile. “But you won’t. I’m Bo’s only remaining link to this station, and you need me because you need him. It’s why I get away with coming in without knocking. For insubordination. For talking to you to way I do. You’re so caught up in this… desire to get Bo back to prove you’re a better person now, and you know you need me to fulfill it.”

“My desire to have Bo at this station isn’t to prove I’m a better person. Quite franky, Quinn, I… do not give a shit what you think of me. Would I like to be forgiven? Yes. But it certainly isn’t a requirement. My desire to have Bo back at the LAPD is because I know it is the one and only place he has ever felt truly at home, and the boy deserves to have a home. If he never solves a case again. If he never attends a crime scene again. If he just sits in his office all damn day until he retires. I do not care. If he feels at home, I’m happy. You can do with that what you will.”

“Goddamn, Pitman. All of your weird little highs and lows make you the most insufferable puzzle I’ve ever tried to piece together.”

Jamal offered a shrug before holding up the folder near his head. “Tell Austen he did a damn fine job. If for any reason he were to want to tag along with you somewhere, he has my approval to. I didn’t fire him, and I haven’t filed any paperwork for him to quit. As far as any attorney or citizen is concerned, he’s still a member of the LAPD, just on leave.”

“He just got out of the hospital, Jamal.”

“Given that I was unaware of his previous suicide watch, I’d say that hasn’t stopped him before.”

A far away look passed over David’s eyes. “Yeah,” he whispered. He pushed himself back to his feet, that far away look not quite gone. “I’m gonna… head home. See what Bo wants to do. Work out my next steps from there.”

“Sounds good.”

David nodded once before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Across the room, Franklin sighed.

“What?”

“You were unnecessarily cruel to bring up Bo’s suicide attempt. You’re very aware that it was traumatic for both of them.”

“He started it, I finished it.”

“It isn’t a competition, Jamal. You’re just pissed because he called you abusive. Which you were. For years.”

“No. I’m aware of that fact. I’m pissed that he compared me to a man who allowed his wife to abuse their son for years before selling him for drugs.”

“I highly doubt Detective Quinn is aware of that version of events.”

“Oh, you mean the real version?”

Franklin sighed, rolling his eyes. “It’s not the story Mister Austen has been told, which means it isn’t the story he tells. Detective Quinn would know an abusive past, but not how he ended up, let’s say, in need of new parents. Torturing Quinn for that is cruel by any definition. Even you have to be aware of that.”

“If he doesn’t want shit thrown back at him, he should learn to walk around this station with even an iota of respect for me.”

“You abused his best friend for years. His best friend doesn’t even want to live anymore, and at least part of that is your fault. Expecting him to respect you is…” Franklin cleared his throat. “Respecting the person who tortured your best friend to the very brink is an impossible ask. I’m sure there’s at least one part of your past that allows you to relate to that.”

Unfortunately, Jamal was more than able to relate to David’s specific distain of him. But it didn’t make it piss him off any less. David’s hatred for him was a constant reminder of how he had treated Bo—what he had done to Bo—and seeing and speaking to that reminder every Goddamn day grated on his ability to cover the mafia’s influence with the charming Pitman facade of an exterior.

“I may need to request David only speak with me via email until Bo returns. I can control myself as long as I can’t see his face.”

“That could be never. I know you don’t want to consider that possibility, but it’s still a very real one.” Jamal let out a heavy breath. “I know. I’m just… hoping and praying that it doesn’t come to that. He doesn’t even want to live any more, and he’s still been secretly working this case. Through depression and paranoia and anxiety and God only knows what else. And he’s still working it. I don’t think he can truly survive without working forensics, and if he’s not doing it at the LAPD, where he used to feel at home, then I… I don’t know that there’s going to be a world with Bo in it for much longer.”

---

Enjoying the story? Consider dropping a comment or a like down below!!

---